2 TICKETS TO HELL: MACHINATIONS OF THE MARA: PART 1 OF PART 1: Joe-Jack and SatanicOstrich review I love you, Man! Part 1

(JOE-JACK'S LINES IN BLUE!)

(SATANICOSTRICH'S LINES IN RED!)

(JOE-JACK SPEAKS WITH AN ACCENT, SO AS ARTISTIC LICENCE, ALL SPELLING MISTAKES ARE INTENTIONAL.

Without an explanation to where he was, why he thought he was Missing for a year, or who or what was Sabaru, Eamonn pressed his Police-like Badge over his Heart and was teleported. Expecting the others to follow him..except Eamonn still has destroyed the Express Train to Hell.

YA! JUS' TELEMAPORT AWAY, YA BOLLIX!

OH THAT'S FINE(!) WE DIDN'T NEED A LIFT TO A DIFFERENT PLANET(!) WE HAVE ARE OUR INTERDIMENSIONAL VEHICLE THAT WASN'T DESTROYED BY A METEORI....OH WAIT(!) (Sigh!) Well looks like looks like i have to make another one!

An' 'ow long iz dat gonna tak'?

With all the negativity from the Rona? (Ostrich bathed itself in Flames! He then expunged all the energy From his beak as molten Metal. Using his fingers like a Grand Maestro, he moulded the smelting heap into a new Express Train to Hell.

.....Yeah, 5 MINUTES, NOT MY PERSONAL BEST!

-Weight, y'mean ya coulda made a new one, all da tiome?

-Of course!

-DEN WHY DIDYA MAK' A BIG DEAL ABOU' EAMONN DESTROYIN' IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

-UH, I'M THE DEVIL OF YOUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE! MAKING SURE MORTALS ARE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE SHIT SHOULD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR? THATS WHAT I DO!

The only thing I Need now is a power source, A Devil's DVD! Luckily we have one to review right here!

(AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!)

 So Da Fillum Startz wif Ant-Man Drivin' his Girlfriend to Land in the middle ov da noight!

2 Yuppies Leave A Sportscar In the Dead of night, In A Vacant Lot, In A Los Angeles Project-WITHOUT KEVLAR?

So Ant-Man Propose to Dis Gurl called Zoe, who calls her Friendz, a mouthy girl and a Bad Marriage Bird!

THESE ARE YOUR COMIC RELIEF! You'll get more Relief Wiping your Ass with Sandpaper and it would Hurt Less, Too!

So Zoe Meets Da Parents, Ma Was a Estate Agent like wot  Ant-man iz now iz! And Da was a YOU-PEE-ASS Man So da family Moved a lot Meanin' Ant-Man didn't make much friendz

Oh and fresh off Sandler Killing his Film career before it started, Andy Samberg plays Robbie, Peter's Gay Brother and that's all the Character Development He'll get! He's Peter's Brother, and HE GAY! THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!

Aftah Da tells us that 12 yar old Peter had Pubes like a Brillo Pad, Da & Robbie exclaim Him focusing on Girls earlier meant Boys got Jealous and never became friends. So Peter has no choices for Best Man.

It Doesn't Help that at Work Most of his Colleagues at the Realtor are Women and the only Male, named Tevin, is a Sexual Harassment Lawsuit waiting to happen!

We 'ave a funny moment where at Fencin' Club, we Show that Every Sport has Jocks, Even Though you can't sound Hard pronouncin' French Words. Turns out one of the Fencah's is also getting Married to they will too busy with dere Weddin' plans!

So Peter Sneaks Back During Ladies Night to Prepare Root Beer Floats and overhears them talk about being a sissy Because he doesnt have Male friends that strike a Medium between Tevin and the Fencers

Ant-Man Gets Help From Gay Brother. who is a Personal Trainer, Who pick up Straight men who might be, y'know....A BIT DIDDLEY!

We have a Montage of Peter's Family and Friends finding Male friends for Peter to make, Including a Riot at a soccer game made a squeaky voiced man. A Dinner with a Gay Man who kisses Peter and Peter being Catfished by an Old Dude! And it ends with Peter Puking over Bad Marriage Barry after he is challenged to a Speed Drinking Game!

So Finally Zoe is tol' dat Ant-man has being tryin to make Male friends aftah eavesdroppin' da Gurls Nioght!

The Next Day at work, Peter is selling Lou Ferringo's Penthouse when he Sees A Man, (Jason Segel!) eating the Barbeque he set out.

Seagull is a Dude-Bro, Everything Ant-Man Aint! Sydney Fife and Antman exchange Numbahs! Now he's acting like a woman expectin' him to call!

Swinging by Zoe's Seamstress Company, Peter learns that Mouthy Girl and Bad marriage Girl know about the Man-dates when Peter gets a call back from Sydney!

So Sydney Comes off a Mixture of Drinking Buddy, Clown and Pub Trivia buff and Him And Ant-Man become friends! Ant-man can't do impressions, in a runnin' joke that everyone thinks he sounds like a Leprechaun!

Tevin Raids Peter's Cubicle about Not selling Lou Ferringo's home. He Brags about having an Aggressive Ad Campaign, Including his face on Urinal Cakes! 

("When I Client comes to me, they are like "Do I Know You" DAHM STRAIGHT! YOU PISSED ON MY FACE!") Kinky, aren't we?

So Ant-Man Meats Sydney While Walkin' his Dog. He winges abou' Tevin, but he's tole knot to tak' prisionahs. Sydney loses it when a Bodybuilder threatens him aftah stepping in dog-shite! It's here Ant-man Realizes Sid may be a few cardz short of a picnic!

Sydney Reasons that letting out feelings of Aggression is cathartic, So he Asks Peter to follow him under the boardwalk so they can scream without being caught!....OH I THINK I'VE SEEN THIS PIECE OF "ART" BEFORE! And just like an OFFBRAND film, they go straight to the closest house!

(END OF PART 1 OF PART 1...

COME BACK NEXT WEEK ON TUESDAY THE 5TH FOR THE SECOND HALF AND THE ARRIVIAL ON HARMORIS...SEEMINGLY AN EDEN IN SPACE...WITH A DARK SECRET BEING HARBOURED!

ONLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!

EAMONN REVIEWS LAY THE FAVOURITE

 (PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...)

(Earth was Seconds away from being destroyed by the Meteor...Until a Space-ship belonging to garrison of Galactic G-MEN Arrived to literal fanfare, like a sporting event. Eamonn Had returned Earth to save the day, with new powers and upgrades provided by his lover/benefactor, the Etheral and mysterious Sabaru Of  the Mara. He returned to finished what he started, but he's convinced he being put back in time by a year to save Humanity!

Iz Dat....Really youse? Joe-Jack Started

"It is....and it's starting to rain....." Eamonn started to cry and laugh, a wave of emotion overwhelming him "It really is Earth....I'm back.....i saved it!"

He hugged Joe-Jack, despite Protest, and Mammie, but stopped in his tracks when He saw Ostrich

"YOU FUCKED UP MY TRAIN, YOU PUTA! YOU MANGLED MY BABY! WAIT A TICK...." Ostrich took a long stare at Eamonn, He Could something that Only the Lord of the Damned could see, a dark Aura, something he hadn't felt for centuries.

"HOW THE MY HOUSE IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? YOU'VE BEING GONE A MONTH AND SOMEHOW YOU MEET THE ONE THING YOU SHOULDN...

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN A MONTH? I'VE BEING GONE A WHOLE YEAR! I ONLY CAME BACK TO SAVE THE PLANET WHEN I HAD THE POWER TO DO SO?

-"EAMONN, HONEY, I KNOW THESE THINGS, AND I TELL WHEN A SOUL IS FULL OF SIN, OR IN YOUR CASE BEING LIES TO, SO EITHER, TIME TRAVEL IS A THING IN A YEAR...OR IT'S THE FORMER!

OK I KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO SETTLE THIS. Come and meet my wife! She's the one who upgraded my gear. The Ship is designated to make a round trip back to Harmonus, Anyway!

AND NOW TO OUR FEATURED PRESENTATION!)

Today's film, a piece of Lifetime Movie Fluff with three former major Movie stars! And that's all it has going for it!

I have seen my far share of Terrible Covers In my Day, but this is Just Bad, Not Offensively, But Aesthetically. It's Just Headshots! No Action, No Plot, Even the Fanservice Shot of A pool Scene, Provides no sizzle. If you saw this in a DVD shop, with 100s of other covers vying for your Attention, would you pick it up first thing?

We open with Rebecca Hall Who Plays Beth, a Stripper, Who has a polarizing day at work, First a Handstand Contest in Underwear where she is paid and gets a drink too, to then having a gun pulled on her!

The Next Morning, She meets her father and they discuss their shared Money Troubles, Though she lies by saying she is JUST a vet, Her Dream is to ditch it to be a cocktail waitress in Vegas, to which her father Supports, Maybe he's in Earnest About his daughter throwing it all away to be leered at by Horny Drunks, Maybe he's being Sarcastic, I can't tell because the Acting so far has being terrible!

Leaving Florida for the Bright Lights of Vegas, She Realizes how ill-prepared she is, finding only a motel to stay and trying to win big money on the coin-pushers. She can't find work being the Waitresses are Unionized.

She meets 2 strippers and as they sunbathe topless, One of them, Hollywood, (Laura Prepon) Tells Beth there is only 3 lawful ways for a women to get buy, Strip, Marry or Leave! But she thinks "Dink" can Help. This is the best acting so far, i'm a big 70's show fan, But Laura is doing a stupid accent with her tits out!

Frank Dink is a bookie, though it's Illegal in Vegas, gives Rubes like Beth Drive out of town to make bets on his behalf, with a cut for that person. Despite not knowing how to gamble, or anything about sports, Law, Probability, Stringing Sentences, Beth is hired, along side Regular Staff Bobby and Scotty. In Reno, Dink tells Beth that Learning how odds change by watching events in real time is how he is so successful! Beth is Written as some kind of Idiot Savant, she's Good with Numbers but better with Letters, able to sort letters of words alphabetically in her head without mistakes, THIS NEVER COMES UP SO I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS MENTIONED!

(This is a trope called Chekov's Gun. If you write something in the world building and first chapters of a book, the reader expects what you are writing about to make a part in the story. Anton Chekov, a Writer and Professor, once said if you are writing a murder mystery and tell your readers in chapter one, a pair of dueling Pistols are framed over the mantelpiece, they expect that one of the pistols will be used as a murder weapon, otherwise, why bring it up? Same with Lay the favourite, why bring this skill to arrange letters, IF IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, DOES NOT MATTER?)

Dink tells Beth his tragic Story of being caught by the police and kidnapped by gangsters with is met by Bimbo-ish Giggles by Beth. After Work, Hollywood warns Beth not to get too close to Dink, as his wife, Tulip (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is the possessive type.

Dink brings Beth to the one place, she can learn about Gambling: A Half-way House for the G.A! There they encounter Rosie (Vince Vaughan), a hot shot Bookie from New York, who has dodged the law better than Dink ever could and it sticks in his craw how successful he is, given how stricter the penalty of Book-keeping is the Empire State!

Tulip returns from her trip abroad and is shocked when she meets Beth, Not only is she Young, she's a young double of her (Seriously, look at the cover, Rebecca hall could pass as CZJ's Daughter!) Despite Every side Character Warning Beth not to get close to Fink, She ACTIVELY Flirts with her Boss, Not helped that Dink see's His Wife as a curse, as the fortunes of the match, change from Bad to good as soon as Tulip leaves!

Not helped by that Dink hangs with Beth After hours and Tulip is that selfish a bitch!

Dink Returns home to see Tulip, Drunk and Emotional. The next day, Dink hands Beth a Brown Envelope full of Money: It's her Severance Pay, He has to fire her.

So this is how it's being Drawn from minute One....

A Slut Gives up her High-Paying Vet Job and being a Stripper for her dream of being lust over as a barmaid without the STDS, Is hired by a Con-man and Despite Being told by Everyone, not to break the Break The One Rule, Not only does she break the One Rule, She ACTIVELY, TO SERVE HER OWN END! Breaks the One Rule.

Oh, but now we have the next scene of her lying on a bed listening to sad songs, that we a supposed to Fell Sorry for her!

But Five minutes later,

She Pounces on the first Rube she finds on the coin pushers.

At Dink's, Firing Beth means all the bets she was ordered to make, haven't (Despite the fact Dink has TWO OTHER EMPLOYEES! Sure Beth's firing was Sudden, but what is stopping Bobby and Scotty from doing it, as well as there assignments?) Reluctantly, Dink gets Hollywood involved, but she disappears, betting against Dink's favourite and loses all the money. This forces Him to Fire Bobby and Scotty

Dink Asks Tulip for a loan, but on one condition, She wants Dink to pay for a Facelift! Beth, Scotty and Bobby are bought back!

Beth is bought to Dink's Mansion to sign a contract, She sees Tulip Bruised from the surgery. this time she warns Beth herself not to get close to her husband, but realizes she wouldn't be the Prize Pig she is without Dink's Money!

Beth Confronts Hollywood about being a scumbag, but Hollywood Says "NO, U!"

Dink is losing Badly and Fire's Beth, Bobby and Scotty "Again", But the 2 men Wave it off! But Beth asks what will happen if Dink is Broke for Real, the others say they'll just work for someone else, after all that's Gambling for you! For A slut, Beth has a Strange Sense of Loyalty! Begging for her job back and tempting Dink again, Makes him Dink put it clearly, with a Bag of Blu Chips. He wants her Gone, before he can cheat again! Beth Takes the Chips, cashes them and Arrives in New York where Jeremy (Joshua Jackson) lives.

Jeremy is a Journalist and while Staying with a Nice Grounded Person is a nice change of pace, As someone once sang, Love Doesn't Pay The Bills! Beth Says that Experience with Dink was the worst 6 months of her life and she doesn't want to think about Gambling. She's Off the horse. NO MORE GAMBLING. EVER. AGAIN!

.....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNND

TWO HOURS LATER!

At a Pickup game she hedges bets for the other players. Finding Rosenburgs Business Card, being a Bookie in New York is more of a risk than Vegas, But the Pay exceeds anything Dink would give Beth, plus she'll be working on the Caribbean Island Of Curaco! There is a Problem: Rosie is a FUCKING IDIOT! ("You Left Your Spreadsheets in Sizzler!" In Both Vegas and New York, Dink and Rosenburg win big on the GiGis. Joshua thinks the relationship is going too fast, Beth is no leaving for a different country, But Beth ask Joshua if he's so worried he can join her on her rounds. In Vegas, out to Dinner celebrating, Tulip tells Dink Not to worry about Beth Working with Rosenburg. But he cant shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen!

IT BETTER!

We are and hour in a 90 minute Drama and Nothing DRAMATIC has happened Yet!

Rosenburg's Curacao Office is a Trainwreck, His Bookies are Coke-Fiends and Doing Hookers, Jeremy is in New York and Beth hates everything about Rosenburg!

Greenburg (The Guy from the Basketball game, Has Gotten into Some Trouble With the Law and his phone seized, The cops are ringing every number on the phone including Beth's and Jeremy's (He gave Him his number in the scene where Jeremy joined Beth on her Rounds!) Jeremy tells her to act Dumb (NO PROBLEM!) when the Cops call her. Rosie is not Worried, but Jeremy's career could be fucked if he gets least a Felony Charge. On the end of her Rope, Beth has no Choice but to call Dink, The Dinks Agree to Help Jeremy (Beth involved with someone else, seems to be why Tulip would help her Husband's Paramour!), but only if Beth Returns to New York. Beth Walks out from Rosenburg Inc. which makes Rosie, freeze Beth's Account as extortionate measures to make her stay and get Greenburg's Money, into his pocket-Only for Jeremy to learn Greenburg is A FBI Patsy!

Dink's Plan is to make Beth bluff over the phone, that she is more Dangerous to Piss Off than the Feds, Appealing to Greenburg's Better nature, reveals he lied about the feds, the only way he can repay is to have his account re-opened so he can bet on New Jersey in tonight's game, Dink tells Beth to let him Go, Greenburg is Rosie's Problem, But Rosie has her Life Savings. If they can use the board to make New Jersey the favourite to win-Except it's new Jersey in Basketball, not NFL! (Apparently NJ is good in one, but shit in the other?)

A foul means New Jeresy has a fight chance in Penalties and it makes the Jets squeeze through and the Credits tells us what happened instead of SHOWING US what happened next, as the last think we see is an Everyone Dances Ending!-Rosie is broke, Dink and Tulip bought a hamster and Beth paid her way to college and wrote the Memoir that became this film,-YES, this was a true story which means unless it was creative license, the Stupidity really happened!

THIS FILM SUCKS!

The flow of time is off, the Dialogue is Laughable! (During the phonecall with Greenburg, Beth actually says "Look at me, Over the Phone!") Noone acts like a real person, Laura Prepon talks like an Alien, In that weird Accent, and Rebecca Hall's Beth is a Giggly Child in a Hot women's Body!

This is what Happens to action stars when they get too old to do fight scenes without slipping a disc.Films like this.

Tragic!

CREDITS

Lay the Favourite was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on twitter)

With Media From:

Lay the Favourite

WWE RAW!

Lay the Favourite was Produced by Random House Pictures. All Rights Reserved. All Media used Belongs to their Respective Owners

NEXT TIME ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE....

THE SHOCKING CONCLUSION OF SABOTAGE BY SLEEP!

THAT WILL LEAVE THE UNIVERSE REELING!

IT'S THE MAY DOUBLE FEATURE EVENT!

"I LOVE YOU, MAN" AND "DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS"

IN 2 TICKETS TO HELL!....MACHINATIONS OF THE MARA! 

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST NOW! EPISODE 74-75: PUSHING LIMITS

 "I Rather Not Talk About It", the 74th episode, Is off Course A Jim Centred Episode. Jeremy, Concerned about the fighting fitness of his team, Convinces Jim to train them on his day off in a Boot Camp.

One may ask What 5 teenagers, (3 With no Martial Arts Training) Can possibly Learn from a Former (Possibly Discharged) Drill Sargent turned High school Groundskeeper (Keep that in mind, as Jim's lives on campus!), 

But keep in mind we now live In a world where there is a video game where eating giant burgers and running a treadmill with a cat is all the training you need to shoot God in the face!

The 5 are Subjected to Boot Camp Level Exercise, and Drill Sargent Nasties, most of them Directed towards Jeremy. Heroes take a Break and Yumi asks Jim about his past. Jim recants the stories that he can talk about. such as his times as a lifeguard, a scuba driver and Bodyguard for the President. Though Jeremy Thinks Jim is a liar and sees Jim in his head as a Lifeguard at a Kiddie Pool, A pool Cleaner and a Custodian at the Secret Service. In the Forest Zone, Xana Activates a Tower. The Heroes are attacked by a wild boar. Jim proves to be the real deal fighting the animal, But when Xana possesses it, it's a different story. XANA/WILDBOAR charges Jeremy, But Jim is Laid Out and Knocked Silly. Ulrich causes a Distraction for the Boar as Aelita, Yumi and Odd head to the factory, Jeremy Staying Behind to tend to Jim, whose leg is Broken.

Because Jeremy and Franz rebuilt Lyoko from scratch, it would stand to reason A new Source Sphere was Made...What makes NO SENSE is having it in the EXACT same Place it was for Xana to attack it and possibly destroy it!

On Real World, Jeremy has used Some plants to camouflage the cave he found as shelter, as well as created a rudimentary splint for Jim's leg. However Jim points out via smell the fronds are Peppermint and Boars hunt by smell, Jeremy needs to Disguise there scents somehow!

Yumi and Odd engage William in Carthage, while Ulrich and Aelita head to the forest sector. The Solution to the scent problem is also the Problem itself: they rub the peppermint on themselves. It now dark so hopefully the boar has terrible eyesight!

On the Forest Zone, Xana has manipulated the terrain again to make the Tower invisible. The Boar chases Jeremie to the boot camps obstacle course. With Odd Defeated, Yumi Attacks and Destroys William. Aelita Deactivates the tower as Jim rescues Jeremy and so the episode ends With Jim on A Crutch, But Jeremy didn't use a Return Trip to erase Jim's Memories. Jeremy and Jim now respect each other and they will need his training in the future!

Hot Shower (Celestial Body in French!) Sees a Comet making it's path to Earth. While the Skid is in the Digital sea searching for William or Franz using it's new Sonar, Yumi's 9th Grade class (THIS IS A CONTINUITY ERROR, SHE'S IN 10TH!) is stuck with Hiroki and Johnny's 5th grade in a diorama contest about the Solar System, Johnny asks to be teamed with Yumi, much to her embarrassment!

In the Factory, Jeremy is watching Exposistion News,(Exposistion News! Plot Details on the hour, every hour!) Tell us that if the comet passing earth today would hit Earth it would cause an Extinction Event, however We finally have an explanation to why there is a Satellite with a DEATH LASER IN SPACE in episode 9: it's for blasting Meteorite!

As you May except. XANA rehacks the Death Laser to aim at the comet, changing it's Trajectory to France, with it's point of impact being the factory, Jeremy plans to Majora's Mask the situation, ie: use the return to the past as many times until the problem is solved.

The skid is stuck in a firewall, meaning heroes can't return to Lyoko, The government has covered up the comet's landing so well, that no-one believes her! Even Jim says something racist! ("I told you Eating Raw Fish is not good for your Brain!" ACTUAL FUCKING QUOTE!) It's only when the meteorites are visible is when action is taken. Aelita Breaks the Firewall with the Computer Science skill of running at it really hard! Jeremy casually Hacks a NATO Satellite as KADIC academy is evacuated, under the guise of a Fire Drill. Jeremy Phones Yumi for her to retrieve his laptop, As Authorization requires two remote sources to for control over the Death laser, of course 2 episodes go by and once again, side characters follow one of the Warriors, this time Hiroki and Johnny.

The Skid Accelerates thorugh Broadband to the Desert Zone, Yumi is told to Connect the laptop to the satellite dish on the roof of the school! But  the door is locked. Turns out Hiroki and Johnny are expert Lock-pickers..... somehow, and Yumi gets to the roof, Jeremy gets through but XANA is pushing them back. XANA's one trick mind in destroying earth so Aelita can't escape Costs It, as Aelita is no targeted for attacks. When she Realises this the others Devirtualizes her. causing Xana's forces to retreat and XANA to Destroy the Meteor Itself, Now XANA does not have the satisfaction of killing Aelita! A return to the past erases the boys involvement in todays adventure, Though Yumi realsies that having a lock on her bedroom is now useless!

CL:RTP,N! Returns in July For Bastille Day and the water Theme Continues With The Lake and Lost at Sea! Keep it here for my review for Lay the Favourite, As normal Service resumes before All my focus is Put Towards Wrestlemania!

But Join me in July, When we....

RETURN TO THE PAST 

NOW!

CREDITS

Persona 5 is property of Altus. All rights Reserved.

CODE LYOKO, RETURN TO THE PAST NOW!: EPISODES 72-73: WHY MUST I BE A SIDE CHARACTER IN LOVE?

 After wasting 5 minutes of the show with Odd Collecting Girlfriends, we truly open to Jeremy Giving the others a Briefing. He comes out with it: He and Aelita are too dangerous for Xana to be kept alive! And they have being the targets of Xana's direct attacks. If the worse should come to the worse, Jeremy wants to make sure that the others can use the Super-Calculator at his level.

Given that Yumi ballsed up the easiest mission possible, Ulrich used the Return program to cheat the lottery, and Odd...Well at least he has his health!

I think Einstein has his work cut out for him! Also Off-Screen It seems Xana attacked Yumi and Ulrich at the swimming pool and by the way they are blushing, Wardrobe Malfunctions happened!

Y'KNOW! FOR KIDS!

While THE 3 have to cancel their plans, Aelita continues to Audition for the Subdigitals in her Arc. While it's a missed Opportunity for the others to accuse Jeremy of favoritism, Aelita has a 1 in 3 chance to succeed. Meanwhile the others don't understand a thing, And Odd is barley virtualized by Ulrich to the ice zone! Xana Launches an Attack, activating a tower on the Mountain Zone! Xana Teleports a Spectre in the form of a Man in Black to Dispatch Ulrich and Electrocute Jeremy, off screen! Jeremy lives but is unconscious, But before he was lost, he told them where the tower is!

With Ulrich in Jeremy's shoes, Odd in a different zone and Yumi running off on a hunch Aelita is in danger, the stakes cannot be higher! Aelita gets the text message and runs for her safety, right into the Spectre, but Yumi is there to rescue her. Ulrich accidentally teleports The overbike instead of the overboard! Button Mashing, Ulrich uncovers a countdown. Aelita explains that it's Jeremy's Delayed Virtualization Program (The One he used to met Aelita in First Contact). Ulrich into position to be virtualized.

Aelita Arrives to Guide Odd, Before He, Ulrich and Aelita convene on the Mountain Zone, The Spectre Returns to Beat Up Yumi, And William is here with some Krabbes, Ulrich Stabs Odd's Avatar to save Yumi in the real World. The Spectre is Dispersed by the Electrical Charge from the Loose wires, But Odd Virtualizes Yumi despite The Spectre reforming and when it does, Odd will be alone!

Yumi sacrifices herself to save for Ulrich to fell William and Aelita deactivates the tower and the spectre destroyed. Jeremy commends the others for working the supercalculator and Aelita gets the DJ Job and so episode 72 ends with Odd Implying like Yumi and Ulrich, Aelita and Jeremy had a similar Wardrobe Malfunction in the Gym when Xana attacked them off-screen!

Episode 73-Replika, in the Digital Sea, the Warriors found a Mass that Jeremy Surmised to be a New Base of Operations For Xana, a Replica of Lyoko.

A chain of Lies and Midadventures causes Odd and Aelita to be sent to Detention and for Sissi's Goons Nicolas and Herve to see the rest go to the Factory, because i suppose even Sissi's Lackies need an endgame, they were given new costumes too, i suppose!

Being Given Detention ( Odd for skipping Class, and Aelita for lying about it!) Aelita takes up Nicolas' offer of a date, Rather that spend anymore time with Odd! When Aelita breaks it off (Seriously, in the next scene Jeremie is there to remind Aelita and us, that they are Dating!) Nicky-Boy then asks Herve if he wants to have the same "Fantastic Experience in the Moonlight!)

No it's not Cartoon Network being WOKE 15 Years before Steven Universe! (FAT LOT OF GOOD IT DID IN THE UK!), Turns out Nicolas wanted a spotter for Night-fishing under the bridge that connects the factory. Where France's answer to Beavis and Butthead spies our heroes heading to the factory to explore the Digital Sea!

The Bumbling Goofs Explore the factory, the only way Comedy Henchmen know how! The Skid moors itself in the Replika of the Forest Zone, and only the Forest Zone. Jeremey Surmises that the Digital Sea, which is the entirety of the internet must contain more of these Replikas!

Ulrich and Yumi have had enough of the others and made Odd and Aelita guard the skid while they do recon! But they are outmatched by the attacking Megatanks, Jeremy redirects power from the Supercalculator to the Skid's Shields. Deactivating the Return to the past. Thankfully Jeremy sees no reason to use that to cover there tracks tonight.

THEN NICOLAS AND HERVE TURN UP!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_asNhzXq72w

William also joins the party, while Jeremy leaves the Control to Outsmart Nicolas and Herve (AN EASY TASK!), Yumi and Ulrich return but not before Odd is sent back. 

Odd has a plan to get rid of the two Dipsticks but it requires Aelita and Jeremy to "Keep an Open mind!"

Odd's Plan is ....

   

Having Herve and Nicolas "catch" Odd and Aelita Kissing!

The next morning, Jeremy slightly peeved, tells the others that Replikas must be powered by other Supercalclators all over the world.... Which makes sense! Keep in mind in the season 2 and beyond end credits, Franz headed a Team of Scientists and as we find out from the other missions, All of them where Naughty Boys! Jeremy wants to Deactivate the SuperCalculators via travel by the Replikas and teleport into the real world to that local, but the risk is deadly, He is now working on a way to Virtualise the Powers into the real World!

But that is a Problem for next time, as of right now, Sissi doesn't believe what her goons saw, after all it's common knowledge that Aelita is Odd's "Cousin"

Join me For the Last time this Month when We "Rather not Talk About It!" And review Hot Shower When we Return to the past...

NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST NOW!: EPISODES 70-71: THE SKIDBLANIR ARC

 As stated in Opening Act, Jeremy and Aelita were working on Programming what Jeremy referred to a "ship". We open on the Two with Odd throwing a tennis ball around sensitive machinery like the idiot he is! He does tell the audience that the ship is a submarine and we Cut to Ulrich and Yumi cuddling in their sleep, though waking causes them to be embarrassed, Possibly due to them only seeing each other because of the guilt of keeping William a secret, rather than it being a real relationship.

As the Heroes Return to Kadic in the Dead of Night, Jeremy tells them that the Sub's Power core must be installed at 4pm Sharp. If not The Core will React like a Black Hole and Destroy everything Virtual: I Don't know why they just don't use it to kill Xana for sure with it, But If we take Aelita's Black Hole Analogy at Face Value, It will mean the Internet as Whole will be Destroyed.

Though Jeremy Interjects stating only ALL HIS programs will be erased, letting Xana Run roughshod as it will take Jeremy Months to re-write programs from Scratch.

However, a known student couple, caught working in their Pajamas in Jeremy's room by the Caretaker Jim, is seen as a serious offence of the Boarding Arrangements by Monsieur Delmas who gives the Genius Couple Detention with Jim in Charge!

The others Ask how they will continue today's plan, Aelita shockingly just says they plan to run away from Jim, After all, IT'S JUST JIM!...Jim However in a show of Competence and maybe the Deja Vu is back, tails Jeremy and Aelita til 4 o'clock, With Odd trying to rescue the 2 with Silly plans like Pretending Jim has won the lottery and Wind up Mice, and to make Matter Worse, William has Commanded a Battalion of Kreepers to Sabotage the Submarine!

Using Morse Code with his watch, (After His phone is confiscated and the others, Via Human Ladder try to aid his escape!) Yumi tells them about the attack, at the Factory the boys Virtualize to Carthage with Yumi has Mission Control, with Jeremy sending co-ordinates remotely as Aelita distracts Jim!

IF THEY MADE THIS THING INTO A TOY, THEN CODE LYOKO WOULD NEVER HAVE BEING PUSHED TO CN'S WEBSITE, YES SADLY WE ARE AT THE STAGE WHEN CARTOON NETWORK UK DID TO CODE LYOKO WHAT THEY DID TO STEPHEN UNIVERSE, AND NEITHER SHOW WILL EVER HAVE THEIR FINAL EPISODE TELEVISED!

We See the Submarine and it's Massive, it looks like a Turtle mixed with Squid tentacles, than a commonplace Submarine! Delmas arrives and confiscates the laptop off Jeremy and leaves Yumi Hanging. Ulrich fights William. Odd fights an increasing number of monsters, Yumi trying handle everything and Jeremy haggling with Jim for his computer back, All uphill Battles. That's when Yumi thinks outside the box and calls unlikely help, Her Brother Hiroki and his Creepy Friend Johnny to Unleash Odd's Dog Kiwi to distract Jim, and it works! The Genius Couple are Inbound

Jeremy takes his place, as the Girls are virtualised, just as Odd is Destroyed, Ulrich is destroyed by his own sword when William Disarms him. The Sub's Shields are Depleted and we only have 5 minutes left. In a shock to me, It's Aelita who defeats William, With him gone the Monster retreat without a leader and Jeremy installs the Engine Core.

In the Hermitage, The heroes try to Think of a name, It's when Aelita finds a Book belonging to her Father, a book on Norse Legends. She was told a story of a longship that could even travel on land and always reached it's destination.

The Ship's name was....

Skidbladnir!

Episode 71 is Maiden Voyage, We finally see new Civilian Clothes for our heroes and side characters though at first glance at Jeremy, It's seemed like a Pallet swap, I'll get into the changes when I Finish the season and the series!

We open Properly with a Gym Class on Rock Climbing where Jim says something Surprisingly Profound!

"Only by Challenging Yourselves, You can move Mountains, and then Climb them!"

Jeremy is called First and falls in front of the class. Despite Aelita's attempts of Comforting him, Jeremy fells inadequate about his body, to the point he doesn't hear the full Announcement by Mr. Delmas about today's Fire Safety Day, which classes have being cancelled for!

During the Maiden Voyage from Carthage, the Navigation System Bugs up Leaving them all Literally dead in the water, Without a Guiding System, the shields will run out of power and Everything will Dissolve, But Jeremy has a back-up system in his room....except he learns from Jim that the announcement he didn't listen to was that Dorms are out of Bounds and Guarded for a realistic Fire Drill!. Jeremy felt inadequate about his Body is now forced to LE PARKOUR! over the school Roof!

In the Digital Sea, Something's Immense Gravity is drawing the Skid closer, When Aelita realizes, it's not Lyoko, she pulls away and straight into a pair of new Monsters, Laser Shooting Eels later Christened Kongres!  

Jeremy finds his CD-ROM and Returns to the lab, but he needs time. Thankfully the Tentacles can Detach into 3 X-Fighter like pods called Skid-Navis to Attack the Eels. Jeremy Remote Fixes the Navigation and the Pods reattach to the Skidbladnir as it Returns to Carthage.

On Solid Ground, Jeremy explains that the Gravitational Force was a Replika of Lyoko and possibly XANA'S New Base of Operations and they will explore it...Just not today!

And we will Join them, When we Review Crash Course and Replika, Next week when we...

RETURN TO THE PAST,

NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW: EPISODES 68 AND 69-GET YER MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!

 Opening Act (Ironic it is the first episode today) is a filler episode, But it's an Important Filler Episode!

It's Lunchtime and the Boarding school Canteen is abuzz of big news: Chris, the drummer of the Band Subdigitals, is Visiting Kadic, Turns out He has an Uncle on the Faculty, which is revealed to be Jim.

Chris Arrives to Screaming Fans and Huge Acclaim to the school. The Drummer is holding auditions for Talented Children to open their concert as a DJ. Delmas cancels Lessons as everyone in school Auditions, and Aelita would like to, but Jeremy reminds her that recreating the Forest sector and programming "THE SHIP" is too important, leading Aelita to be crestfallen and distracted!

With everyone Not up to snuff, and Odd blowing his chance, Chris leaves the auditorium for a break. Chris Hears Music from the Auditorium (Played by a late-running Aelita, who then leaves the room crying!) Chris returns to the once again, empty room, only to be attacked by XANA!

Milly and Tamiya walk by the Heroes, Sans Jeremy, who tells them Chris is looking for the "Cinderella Dj" as they put it! Aelita runs towards the Staff room where Chris is standing to hand him her Demo....except it's not Chris....it's a spectre, who shocks Aelita, making her drop her Demo and Brazenly Carries her Past Milly and Tamiya to the factory.

Finding Aelita's Demo. Odd confronts Chris in an attempt to look in his eyes for the telltale Mark of xana. If it's not possession it's must be a spectre. Chris and Jim involve themselves after Odd says too much,Ultimately fighting the spectre and buying enough time to save Aelita in the new Forest sector, we also get new Animations for the transfer sequence-revealing the new Civilian costumes and returning to the clothes they usually were up to this point. WHOOPS!

One return to the past to wipe Jim and Chris' memory and Jeremy had delivered Aelita's Demo to Chris, Winning the competition to be the opening act and starting Aelita's Endgame Arc: A life after XANA!

Wreck Room is also a filler, But it's not as important, Fake William is somehow elected to be Curator of the school's new Rec Room, But he's too Stupid and Naive to perform anything properly, Meaning Odd, Yumi and Ulrich are left behind to Cover, while the Genius Couple Try and track down William via the Digitized DNA sequence of Fake William

Of Course, Somthing Goes Wrong and Fake William, Being a Spectre, Reverts to something akin of the real William, An Over-competitive Jackass, who trounces Jim in Ping-pong over and over, at least it keeps him distracted from killing everyone! Forcing Aelita into the Dessert, Unfortunately, Aelita's ability to Enter Towers is also Bugged!

The Tower is Took over and XANA/FAKE WILLIAM Attacks Yumi. When Aelita See's William Slaying Krabbes, She's convinced Xana can't control 2 Williams at Once and the Real William is Free from XANA's Control!

(SIGH....HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEING DOING THIS NOW, AELITA ? 1994?)

With Ulrich Stuck with Sissi when the others spilt up, only Odd and Yumi make it too the Factory. Fake William chases Sissi and Ulrich to the roof of the school ending with them fighting to hang on! William Slaughtering Odd and Yumi's avatars, Jeremy Fixes The Bug and Aelita deactivates the tower causing a return to the past just as Ulrich and Sissi fall from the roof. And So they Make Sissi the Curator in the new timeline, It Doesn't seem like much but making the Selfish Brat care for people will set up her Endgame for season 4.

Sorry for the Short Review, But as of Next month, I am Rewriting most of last years reviews with the Storyline chapters for Sabotage By Sleep. Please follow my Twitter when these Remasters are finished.

THAT'S @REALENLI BY THE WAY!

CL:RTTP,N! Returns in March! (Subject to Worldwide Events!)

CODE LYOKO, RETURN TO THE PAST NOW! EPISODES 66-67: INNOCENCE LOST

 2021

THE FIRST REVIEW OF THE YEAR

THE LAST SEASON OF THE SHOW

The Beginning of the End!

PREVIOUSLY ON CODE LYOKO...

After mission after Mission that forced Jeremie to Reset Time, thus making XANA stronger, The Warriors elected to Add William to their ranks despite his obsession with fellow Warrior Yumi.

In A mixture of Badly timed annoyances and Overconfidence, XANA Possessed William, who one shots Aelita and does the same to the Lyoko Code Data, Erasing The Virtual World forever. Deep in the Digitial Sea (The Pure Unformed Code of the internet.) Xana has Molded William into his image. Despite Seemingly losing all their sources, Jeremie gets a message from an unlikely Ally: Franz Hopper, Aelita's Father and the Creator of Both Lyoko and Xana, who was assumed Dead!

So We start With Episode 66-William Returns

So we get new Opening Credits for the last season with all the changes I will get to when they happen, and as we get to the title screen, the stark reminder of no Map, Lyoko is gone forever.

To cover William's disappearance, Jeremie uses the Voice Distortion Device to trick Principal Delmas into thinking William has returned to Canada. Though if William's family should turn up it will be a different story, However Aelita is confident that Franz's Algorithm will do it's job, recreating a Partial Lyoko!

Since the last Episode, the Effects of how each warrior acted towards their respected annoyances is now canon, for Jeremy (Who's name is now being spelt as the common spelling!) Jumping out the window and legging it have left them unfriended by Millie and Tamiya, but the Junior Reporters are not just mad at Jeremy...But at all his class, since Sissi used her position as Principal's Daughter to become Editor of the ailing Kadic Herald.

That Night at the Factory, despite Reservations of Trusting Franz again.The Partial Lyoko is created, Namely the Artificial Sun and Sector 5-Carthage-Inside it! When the Team return home, and with Xana's home turf re-existing, that night a transporter pod opens and a familiar face walks out!

Jim finds Odd the next morning and hands him a newspaper, Jim's past as an actor in a musical film as being found out and the groundskeeper blames Odd, who found out about it in Season 3. Odd tells Sissi Blackmail is Bad, M'kay!...Only because Odd was going to use the film to blackmail Jim in the first place but got talked down by his friends! When Sissi asks about William's disappearance, the cover story is used...Until William himself turns up!

Taken to one Side, William claims he doesn't remember anything after being possessed by XANA. Jeremy's scan reveals William is not possessed, nor has Xana have control over the only tower on Sector 5. With that being said he finds it impossible that someone would be able to survive the Digital sea without outside help or being recoded by his DNA.

Saving Aelita from being hounded by Sissi, William Reveals he is not possessed by Xana, but a willing  Agent, who can turn on the power when he pleases! and Aelita is Kidnapped. Odd is punished by Jim to recreate every scene of Paco the King of Disco in Jim's old costume, as he film's it!

With a Crash and a thud, William and an Unconscious Aelita is Virtualized on Lyoko as William Levitates Her Prone Body out the Central Room. Ulrich is virtualized First as Jeremy reveals since he recreated Carthage, the Sector no longer changes it's appearance every time anyone enters it! But not the Monsters, they are still there!

In conjunction with having being giving Yumi's Telekinetic powers, Xana has also gifted William with Supersmoke, An Upgrade of Ulrich's Super Sprint, Turns William into a Fast Moving Shadow, Faster anything than his former love rival can put out! Yumi arrives at the factory as Odd's Humiliation continues! Jim Learns a lesson about meme Culture, Even silly and terrible things can be loved, As he is swarmed by fans. Odd Uses the distraction to escape.

Aelita is Carried to By William, Just as Yumi is Virtualised. Odd finally makes it, As William and his victim mount a Manta to escape Carthage, But with no other sectors,Jeremy realizes Xana plans to Drown Aelita in the Digital Sea and Destroy her forever!

OH NO(!)

It's not like she survived that already or Touching Virtual Water can be Nerfed for Plotline Convenience! Ulrich is taken out just as Odd arrives.

We See a Close up of the Artificial Sun of Lyoko

And the Digital Sea Below as Aelita come to, Yumi is thrown by William and Odd uses his arrows before Yumi gets Erased by the Digital Sea (AGAIN!)

Odd saves Aelita, Just as William returns to the Digital Sea,Back to Xana. And So the Episode Ends with Jim Forgiving Odd and embracing his past as He Performs as Paco, King of Disco in School Assembly.

Episode 67 Double Take-With All the Sleepless Nights, Recreating Lyoko Upgrading The Avatars, Studying and Covering for William's Absence, Jeremy has done something drastic to pass his requirement of Gym and use to the free time to continue doing all this: Create a Spectre to pose as him in Gym class, But only because Jim has threatened that William be physically seen before Curfew, Scuppering Jeremy's planned unveiling of the new Equipment.

Fake Jeremy is more athletic, and talks like a Jive-turkey, who chats up Yumi in front of Aelita and beats up Odd when he Suspects Xana!

Getting a call from the Real Jeremy, he confirms the fake is a spectre powered by an activated tower in the newly created Desert Zone, Which is invaded by William, who reveals another stolen power Gifted by XANA-An Upgraded CODE: XANA that doesn't need to be installed inside a tower, just near one! Turning Fake Jeremy into XANA/FAKE JEREMY, Though it's actually a struggle for Control Between the two!

A fight between A briefly Controlled fake Jeremy and Odd in Gym class is the excuse to make sure Fake Jeremy is secured in a broom closet, When William gains full control the fight gains the attention of Pricipal Delmas, who XANA/FAKE JEREMY blasts with energy. While Aelita, Ulrich and Yumi head to the Factory and gain new Avatars

SIGH....

I HATE THE SEASON 4 AVATARS!

I don't like that these costumes now make the 13-16 YEAR OLDS Pass as adults! All the Uniqueness and cultural nods are now replaced by generic boiler suits! Ulrich's Pants now have a giant Ball Window that is awkwardly big for pants for a boy his age! Odd's upper chest and arms are armoured, which makes no sense for a ranged fighter to have. The Worst offender is Yumi's costume, No longer a Geisha, Yumi is just a Generic Ninja, In a time where Avatar, Power Rangers Ninja Storm and Naruto existed all at the same time. It would help if she gains new powers like the others but Nope! Also Aelita must have given Jeremy one hell of a side-eye for her boyfriend to give her an armoured Bustier, a Transulent Skirt and Hot Pink Kinky Boots!

The New Suit have New Weapons and Gear, Ulrich has 2 swords now, and Since Fall from Great heights has being Aelita's schtick, she now has a star shaped bracelet that give her Pink Angel Wings!

After William Shows us how percptive he is, Killing the Real Ulrich after using Triplicate, Aelita deactivates the tower. Yumi is cornered by William who tussles with her hair, like he's fighting the brainwashing, only to push her into the sea below. That's when Odd debuts his costume officially! and only good thing about this costume is after this episode i never have to see the pissing dog on his chest ever again!

After a Return to the past to cover up the Attack on Delmas Jeremy finds a new use for the Spectre: Having it pose as William til they can get the real one back! The Copy looks and sounds like him but is naive and doesn't understand figures of speech!

But this marks the End of Innocence of our Adventure, This no longer a Secret Game, or a virtual fairytale where the princess now lives on Earth! The Heroes are covering up a grievous mistake: a friend has become a terrorist, and in this final Season, the fight against XANA bleeds into this world as the new avatars will grant them powers in reality, making teenagers pass off as adults fighting Professional Soldiers. Friendships will be tested, Overconfidence will broken, and could the love of 2 genius stand up to what will happen?

For Now we are finished, Join me Again when Aelita's Future after XANA is reviewed as we look at Opening Act and Wreck Room! When we....

RETURN TO THE PAST 

NOW!

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2020: BAD MOMS' CHRISTMAS-REMASTERED

(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE...

Eamonn's Attempt to destroy the Meteor heading to Earth was thwarted by damage to the Express train to Hell. Leading to Earth being in the hands of fate.

Speaking of Hands, the giant Hands that saved Eamonn, Belong to Sabaru, a Humonoid of Great Beauty, Untold Magic Power and Hidden secrets....like why is trapping Creatures from Every Planet and referring to them as "Signees?"

When we left off Eamonn was teleported back to Earth, seemingly aged and now Dressed as some kind of Security Operative or G-man. covered in a Poncho like garb. He threw off the Garment, Revealing that his Gae Dearg Gauntlet, his weapon made to control and maintain the power of his Satanic Fist, was now upgraded into a amorphous, vorpal liquid metal, that Eamonn command by thought into a sword. he then jumped into the air as the back of his bullet proof vest, opened like a Beetles back to reveal a jet pack. Using the sword and Chi in destroyed the Meteorite, cutting into several pieces then blasting and Teleporting those pieces that would still be a threat. All the Time. Eamonn was Tracked by Camera Droid that looked like Spiders climbing walls and trees to get shots by climbing via Film Strip "Webbing"

When the crisis was over, Eamonn standing in the settling sandstorm he had created. Put the Sword over his shoulder. The Blade melted back into a Gold-Pinkish Metal Gauntlet, that went up his formarm and ended with a Cloth like material that even had embroidery like filigree design. He Turned to Joe-Jack, His Mother and Ostrich.

"HEY"

AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!

 Look, I said it over on Enlightened Towers In October before closing it til 2021, but fuck this year! So hell in a cell was a last gasp of a wwe show, NOW TO END 2020 With a glorified Deleted scene Masquerading as a sequel!

Oh look It's their Faces as the dvd cover! Moving on!

It's Strange I'm Doing a Sequel without ever delving into the Original Film So Here's the skinny: 3 Chicago Mothers, Overworked, Overwhelmed and Underappreciated By the Snobby PTA, Decide to to use their free-time to get drunk and party, much to the chagrin of every Karen in the 'Burbs! It costs Mila Kunis' character her marriage but she has bounced back re-marries and co-parenting her kids and the daughter of her new husband, Jessie!

We start At the Aftermath of Amy Mitchell's (Mila Kunis) Ruined Christmas! A toppled tree, A ruined Banquet, and a camel running past A drunk Amy!

We are told the story in flashback and with stock footage of a Nice family Christmas, However Amy is a single mother now so she is singlehandedly fixing up Christmas decorations and being Judged by the women who have hired help! And to make matters worse! Amy's mother has invited herself to her home!

We cut to Kiki (Kristen Bell) A Stepford wife And her 3 bowlcut Children Causing Havoc and Stepford Kiki to blow a circuit of her programming! Doorbell and what what maybe a prevailing theme, Her Mother has arrived announced, Played by Useless Adult Stereotype Typecast, Cheryl Hines.

And finally Crass White Trash Spa Worker Carla (Katryn Haan) Returns home to she her Roadie Mom taking a ride off a truck. She's happy to see her, which is a change, But Momma is too drunk to it's now Christmas! So Carla sees through Her Bullshit!: Momma wants Money, But she's being coy about it!

5 days til Christmas, and Amy Has laid a last minute Party spread to impress her mother, Too Bad Her Mother is the Ultimate Karen, Here is a quote from the film that actually made me laugh:

"WHEN I WAS 6, I MADE MY MOTHER A BIRTHDAY CARD! SHE RETURNED IT TO ME WITH CORRECTED GRAMMAR!"  

So 5 Minutes in, and i want to punch Amy's Mom and her Toadie Dad! She Gifts her Biological Grandchildren Gifts, Mistakes Amy's Latino Husband as the Help and Basically Shits all over the efforts of her daughter! Basically, the plot of the 1st film in the space of a minute. And she has invited 180 of versions of her to Chicago on Christmas eve and expects her Daughter to foot the bill.

4 days til Christmas and Shopping is a nightmare with Unruly Kids, So They Decide to get drunk and deal with Christmas, Bad Moms Style, Putting pressure on themselves and getting nowt in return? it's the PTA all over again! So filled with Bile, and mostly alcohol, We see them give the children a run for their money, So it's MONTAGE TIME! Getting drunk, Kissing Strangers, Twerking on Santy, and it all ends with them stealing a tree from Foot-Locker to appease Karen-SPOILERS! IT DOESN'T!

Over at Kiki's-Cheryl's clinginess to her daughter manifests when they notice sitting in the corner whilst Kiki and Harold are having sex!

3days Before Christmas, and Amy wakes to workmen in her house as Karen Lavishes Decorations and Expensive gifts to her grandchildren, Pisses of Down-To-Earth Carla when she hears about it later, All Amy's other friends are going to a Soft Play-Area later, But Karen expects the family to go to the Nutcracker-Not the twee version, but the 5 hour version in Russian, just so she can splash the cash! At the Spa we learn why Susan has arrived back to Chicago...for free spa Treatments form her Daughter, So Carla heaps the scorn about being single til Susan half-listening just says "Spare Change, Bro?" She wants $15k for a undisclosed reason and Carla folds as Susan starts to shoplift!

That Night Amy snaps and brings her family to the soft play area instead of the ballet. In the Mall we finally learn the Mothers Names, The Karen is Ruth, Cheryl Hines is Sandy and Susan Sarandon is...

"ISIS.....LIKE THE TERRORISTS!"

All the 3 families have low budget fun in a montage, except Ruth of course, Until Jessie's Daughter asks "the grandmas" to play Dodgeball, Ruth and Isis take that Personally and Ruth takes it too far when its only her and Amy Left in a high noon style shootout! Amy wins then Ruth takes a slow motion Ball to the Vag! Besmirched in Public, Ruth vows to husband to double her efforts

2 Days til Christmas and at the Spa, Carla's next waxing appointment is a male stripper (JESUS CHRIST! IT'S THE SIZE OF A TRAFFIC CONE! I'M GONNA NEED MORE WAX!" ACTUAL FUCKING QUOTE!) At Therapy Sandy and Kiki hash it out as Dr Wanda Sykes, PHD in Black Stereotypes, wags her finger and Tells Us Mama Don't Like That! Especially when Sandy Fakes Cancer for Attention!

Over at Amy's Ruth's "Doubled Efforts" has manifested in making the whole family Christmas carol all night, with a professional choir at course to win the Neighbourhood Carolling Contest, force Amy to be dressed as Scrooge, much to the delight of the Elitest Karens of the PTA! Thoroughly embarrassed, Amy tells Ruth that she wants a mellow christmas, with her ALL! of her children and her new husband!

That Night the Bad moms, go to the Sexy Santa Contest, Ty told Carla about! Seeing the Beautician, Ty invites Carla to dance on stage, Until Isis makes an ass of herself and falls through the bar! Though Embarrassed by the accident, Ty promises to stay in touch!

Ruth tries to Poison her Biological Grandchildren against their mother, bearing more expensive gifts. Christmas eve and Carla and Isis are scamming booze from shoppers with a fake canned food drive! Carla wants Isis to stay so she gives Isis 500 dollars for the "investment"!

Over at Kiki's Sandy's Gift to her Daughter is a spare Key to her New House, next to her's, This is when the rest of Stepford Kiki's Programming has short-circuited into a Nuclear Meltdown!

Returning from Sledding, Amy is shocked to see Ruth has Commandeered the house to host a Big Ridicolous Party, Including a Life Size Nativity scene with Camels, for all her snobby friends, Amy confronts Ruth and the truth comes out: Not being Married to a wealthy man has made Amy an embarrassment in the eyes of Ruth's friends: Angry, Amy destroys everything that was destroyed in scene one, as her children look on in horror! So Amy Kicks Ruth out!

So We are Back where we started, Meanwhile, Isis has done a Midnight Flit with Carla's Money, Sandy is now in deep thought in a house she now regrets Buying, whilst Ruth is in an empty church, when Sandy and Isis turn up all feeling shitty about themselves. Meanwhile Without Ruth's thumbprint on his forehead, Amy's dad can actually parent his daughter, and tells Amy that Ruth is the most insecure person he know. Wanting to apologize, Amy asks her father where Ruth is and it's Christmas Eve: where does any Rich, Conceited Big-shot go to be seen and save face?

THAT'S RIGHT, MASS!

It takes a lot, but Ruth Apologizes and we have a make up Montage of mother and daughter re-decorating the house in a style that is a compromise, though she is still racist to Jesse,....so baby-steps? In Kiki's house, Sandy has sold the house next door as she is returning to Nebraska, and Isis returned the mother and so the 3 families have Chinese food for Christmas dinner Until Ty comes to express his love for Carla....through the medium of Erotic Dance!

THIS FILM IS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!

The story is solid, the characters relatable, the support cast is great (Susan Sarandon is a hoot!) and while the Comedy is clever, it's not as crass as i thought it would be! I wouldn't mind watching it again, but is it the best Christmas film? HARDLY!

CREDITS

Bad mom's Christmas was reviewed, compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham @RealEnli

with media from the same!

Bad Mom's Christmas is distributed by Entertainment in Video. All rights reserved.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM BOGGER BOX OFFICE!

I will return on January the 4th with on enlightenedtowers.blogspot.ie with a schedule of all the posts I plan in 2021. So until then,  all contact is through my Twitter account! Merry Christmas and a happy new year and WEAR YOUR FECKING MASKS!

  

Birds of prey part 2-REMASTERED!

PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE...

Just as Earth is about is to be destroyed by an Meteorite, a seemiingly time-displaced advanced Eamonn, who in fact was only missing for a week materialized as some sort of Inter-Galactic G-Man! Under the Pomp and Circumstance of being in the Employ/Bed of One Sabaru Of the Mara!...Meanwhile....in our Review, Harley has split with Joker, but instead of Spilling the tea, she spilled Blood instead! 

Not trusting Harley, Romin tells Victor to Group text every Merc and Scum in his employ...which now includes Dinah, that Half a Million Dollar Bounty is on Cassie's Head, Leading to where we were before the flashback.

Harley steals a Key Card, but is Denied Access, so she destroys the Consul, Causing A Sprinkler Malfunction, as if the costume wasn't tight enough, and then releases the convicts, but Harley still has a price on her head, So during a Slow motion Fight in the Rain, Cassie runs off, Harley after her, and Mercs after them!

They Run into a Confiscated weapons warehouse, where For a DC Villain must be like, locking the A-team in a Garage! Harley is like a kid in a candy store, reunited with her Aluminium Bat, but when she hides behind a pallet of cocaine that gets shot up, some goes up her nose and she powers up like Popeye on Spinach!

Is Harley Quinn Also Snowflame?

Taking out 5 Mercs and Montoya, Harley grabs an unconscious Cassandra and steals a Station wagon with 2 mattress on it's roof, Cassandra wakes to Harley Passing her a Stick of Dynamite to waste a Bounty Hunter!

Stealing Groceries and Enough Laxatives to flush out the Channel Tunnel, Harley Returns to the Vietnamese Restaurant where she has bed and board in, after learning that Cassie can escape handcuffs, (Plot point!) Harley gives Cassie advice on life, which the young pickpocket takes to heart, but she finds Harley's taste in pet Hyenas and talking to Taxidermy models weird!

So we get Huntress's New backstory - She is Elena Burtonelli, as in Burtonelli Diamond! She wants to seek her birthright after the family were slaughtered!

Meanwhile Romin-who was about as stable as a tap-dancer in a ball bearing factory to begin with-Is losing it!-Think a female patron is laughing at him he forces her husband to strip her and make her table dance for everyone! Montoya is taken off the Caine case and, Despite having Evidence, which she got by unlawful means when she took the phone off a dead merc.

In the Space of 5 minutes, Harley's life goes up in Flames, The Police raid her flat, A crazed Man Destroys her flat with a Catapult and a flaming volleyball, Bruce the hyena is killed. But the Deepest cut is Harley Realizing her Only Friend, her landlord has sold her out-For enough money to start a new restaurant afterall, "It's only Business!"

An Attitude Harley picks up quickly as she Gives Up Cassandra to Romin

The Handover is in the Arcade of Joker's Devil Playground Amusement park, Sionis is sending Zsasz being driven by Dinah, who is Montoya's New insider, Who gets the news, Huntress also learns somehow and all the pieces are in Play. Zsasz Tells Dinah to pullover, he tells Romin the Betrayal that sets him off as he Dons the Black mask to get his hands Dirty!

Meeting Victor At the Abandoned Amusement Park from Injustice, Cassandra is duct-taped  to a toilet so she can...Retrieve the diamond, That's when a drunk Renee storms in and Fights Harley, However Harley Picked up how to escape cuffs from Cassandra and Dropkicks Montoya through a second story window, That when She gets A tranquilizer to to the neck by Zsasz, While Dinah Rescues Cassandra,

While Unconscious, Harley is taunted by Zsasz, so it's about time to introduce Zsasz properly!

"Tally Man" or simply Zsasz, is an Assassin from Batman comics, working for high-paying crims like Black Mask, The Penguin, and as we saw in Batman Begins, Reluctantly for the Scarecrow, Zsasz has killed Hundreds if not thousands, if you are unfortunate enough to to be in the way of his target, your life is remembered on his flesh as a mark on his body. each nick and scar for every 5 kills on his neck, arms, back or face, he has killed to many without learning their names, but Harley's kill will be remembered as he points out where her scar will be.

Which means it also stupid for Zsasz, who much be in constant Nerve Damage pain, never mind the risk of Hepatitis, Septicemia and Gangrene from the constant nicking of his epidermal layer, he must be wincing with every light breeze hitting him like walking through razor blades, never mind a child pushing next to him to steal a diamond without reacting once!

So Zsasz calls out Dinah feeling threatened by her  "Stealing him away" Harley fights of Paralysis as Huntress Kills Zsasz, Cassandra is free and grabs Victor's gun and Montoya climbs back up into the room, leading to a stand off, Zsasz was actually the last Person on Huntress' Hitlist of her family's killers, the Capo, Lou Ferringo's character and Zsasz were in the firing squad that day, Elena thinks she's done but, Montoya tells her it was Romin who was behind the power grab

Outside Black mask has assembled an army. Harley drops the solid fact that they must work together to protect Cassandra, Reluctantly All 5 band together 5 against 100 is a desperate last stand in a fun-house. Luckily No Joker Hideout is never not stashed with weapons, though we do have a double bluff that shows Joker moves the hiding place on Harley. As Masked men Abseil in to ambush them, they escape in a hall of mirrors they split into 5 rooms, Harley in a room of trampolines, Dinah is a room of Seesaws, Huntress in a room of Busts of Harley with long swim Noodle Tongues, As Cassandra tries to escape with Montoya escorting her, they are attacked but Huntress saves the little pickpocket!

They Regroup On A revolving Floor (Somehow Harley Having time to Put on Rollerskates During a fight!) They take out all the enemies, Though Cassandra hasn't forgiven Harley, 

Walking Out like Heroes, they let their guard down and Renee is shot by Black Mask, Out of all but one bullet, Dinah Reveals why she is called black Canary...BECOZ SHE BLE....

(SMACK!)

No it's because She has Sonic Powers, Pushing back the Gunmen as well as propelling Harley on her skates towards Romin's car with Cassie Inside.

Losing Momentum Quickly, Harley is now towed by Huntress's Motorbike, Killing the occupant of a car and causing Romin to Crash his it a foggy Statue park on a pier, Not able to discern who is a person and who is a statue, Romin taunts Harley to waste her last bullet from the shadows That when Cassie struggles free from Romin to reveal she stole the ring off a grenade Harley gave her and planted it on Romin. The last thing we Hear from Romin before falling off the pier as Shark bait is a sound like Zsasz's Butt-plug fell out of him!

And so our Adventure Ends, Cassie gets the Diamond and Elena Decipher's it's secrets...somehow and regained her family fortune, Renee Quits the Police and joins Huntress and Canary as the Birds of prey, Harley makes Cassie her sidekick, Bruce the Hyena is found safe and well...and Most Importantly of All...Harley got her fucking Egg-wich!

THIS FILM IS OK STORYWISE-IT WOULD HAVE BEING BETTER IF THEY HADN'T FUCK AROUND WITH ESTABLISHED CHARACTERS!

This film is Harley Quinn and her Ass show, special guest her Cleavage, Part 2. Black Canary isn't Black, Cassie could talk til she was 15, and the reason i said not to google Renee Montoya because she appearance is a walking spoiler is this...

Renee would get scarred for life in the comics resulting in her having a mental breakdown and in her redemption become the Current alteration of the Hero, The Question. You trying to tell me you have a villain that rips off faces and and you couldn't connect the dots and make it work? Speaking of Black Mask and Zsasz why did they turn the two most ruthless Killers in Batman's universe and make them Homoerotic towards each other! Ewan Mcgregor Just Chews the scenery in every scene and comes of as LIMPWRISTED as they come!

If you know nothing about comics this is enjoyable enough, but comic book films exist to be enjoyed bu comic book fans! and changing other character's narrative to fit another will always attract nitpickers!

CREDITS 

Birds of Prey was Reviewed Compiled and Edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham 

With Media from

Birds of Prey

Green Arrow

I'm Alan Partridge

Batman: Streets of Gotman #14

New 52

Birds of Prey is property of Dc Comics and Warner Bros. All rights reserved.

NEXT TIME ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!

IT'S A CHRIMBO WITH KUNIS! As we end the year with A Bad Moms Christmas!

Follow me on Twitter @RealEnli!

BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF HARLEY QUINN)-REMASTERED!

SABOTAGE BY SLEEP-REALM OF THE NOT-DEAD!

(When we last left off, The SatanicOstrich, free from his work-prison in hell came to Earth to looking for answers to why he was free, why the Heroes of Earth is allowing a meteorite to destroy us all and more importantly, where is the Express Train to Hell? In that Order, A greater evil is stirring, It is but not from lacking of trying and The Train is mangled in said Meteor, but no sign of Eamonn.

Eamonn was taken to a faraway planet, seemingly under the pretenses of being rescued from the destroyed Earth, and seemingly married with Children to His rescuer, A humanoid women named Sabaru, who herself is the last of her kind, a Mara. But this is also a lie. Eamonn's "Marraige" is A dream-like Simulation, and Sabaru is a techno-organic Being who has gathered "Signees"those from different planets for her to clean up this "Season"-But What those this Mean?

In the Guesthouse Joejack, Mammy and Ostrich are thinking of a plan, or rather the 2 males are and Mammy, thinking the Anthropomorphic Ostrich is a "Doggy", keeps acting it to get away from the table

....So Let me get this straight, our only chance t'save Earth is gone! Our friendz in da otha Universes cannot 'elp coz interdimensional is now illegal cause of da Hole Heavenscar deal! Wot abou' Da Cosmic Entitiez, surely dey won't see the Lives of their billions die....

Oh That's were you are Wrong, Dear Heart! The Cosmic Entities see Humanity as nothing more as game, And Earth as a plaything, if your world Breaks, the Cosmic Entities will only be sad for a moment and start playing with a new one! 

So...We can't help from otha universes, we can't Bring 80's lad back and da Godz are a-holes! Am i missing anything?

....You also assume Eamonn is dead!

Wha'?

It's faint, but i could feel Magic from the Meteor, a source different from The Train's or Eamonn's Life Energy Mixed with the Shard from the Devil's Dvd-This new Power-It's Different-Synthetic-Like the Creature is Clinging onto Life by Harvesting on others.

(Mammy was watching Tv, as News Coverage was following every development of the meteorite Descent, When the news Footage Changed to a hi-Definition, Entertainment style Presentation. Excitingly Paced Sports show-Style Music Played as a voice greeted Earth!

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-THE MARA INTERPLANETARY CHAMPIONS LEAGUE PRESENTS-MAN VS METEOR-A TELEVISUAL EXTRAVAGANZA TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF HISTORY-TO RIGHT A GREAT WRONG-OUR LEAGUE OF HEROES HAVE TRAVELED BACK IN TIME TO SAVE EARTH FROM THE THING THAT DESTROYED IT! INCLUDING THE LAST CHAMPION OF EARTH, OUR TOP SIGNING, LOST TO HISTORY A HERO WHO THWARTED HIS WORLD'S SATAN MANY TIMES, DESTROYED VILLAINS LIKE THE 80'S LAD THE EMBODIMENT OF RAGE! THE WICKED CHILD AND ONCE LIBERATED HELL ITSELF!

THE HERO OF EARTH!

EAMONN!

The Remaining heroes stop in Disbelief....

TO BE CONTINUED!)

AND NOW TO OUR FEATURED PRESENTATION!

....So This film has Many Covers, but this is the one i picked up. It is so Plain! Of Course Margot Robbie is front and Centre Swinging a bat that is covered in Art, Shame that a mixture of Photo Cropping and Motion Blurring has made it unreadable. Speaking of Motion, they could have Photoshopped the cover with Motion Lines, Shadows and Comic Text for sound effects. Namely Soundwaves from Black Canary, Shadows on Huntress or Detective Montoya, who in the far back, looks like a Drunken Wrestling Mark who came straight from Her 9-5, got Pissed and entered a wrestling to show how tough she is, Also Cassandra wants your lunch Money or she will punch you in the Dick!

Our Film Starts With Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) Narrating over a cartoon of her life to the end of Suicide Squad, Her Torrid relationship with her Father, Her Abuse by Nuns, her Mishaps in Love due to Bisexuality, Her Degree for Psychology, let led her to treat, and then fallen in love with, The Joker, Leading to her being submerged in Chemicals, turning her crazy, (though it ended with her gaining his invulnerability is up for debate!) However, It Being Months Since the End of Suicide Squad and Joker Breaking into Belle Reve to rescue Harley, So she Split up with Joker....when in fact she was kicked out of the gang!

Returning to Gotham where she grew up, At first Harley is an emotional wreck, but she occupies herself with her Newly adopted pet Hyena, Roller Derby, Drinking and Of course, GBH! It's during a wild Drunken Night out with her Roller Derby friends, She breaks the legs of a rude Man, who happens to be the driver for Roman Sionis (Ewan Mcgregor), Publicly the Owner of the Night club and Ace Chemicals, but in Reality, He is Black Mask, A crazed Mobster with a Penchant of Face Stealing, as seen when a gangster and his wife are slain this way, he's also a narcissist, hence the mask, as he spares their pretty daughter....until he spots a snot from her nose and recoils in horror!

Getting in more Drinks, Harley overhears her teammates saying Harley will crawl back to Joker eventually. To Prove a Point, Harley steals an Oil Tanker and drives it into the place where it all began-Ace Chemicals! It Blows up in Technicolor fireworks Leading us to the title drop and four minutes ago!

At a Crime Scene in an Italian Restaurant, A mass murder is being Investigated by Renee Montoya (Don't search her name in DC's wikia, because her appearance is a walking spoiler!) She is a down-trodden Gumshoe who cant get no Respect Because She's (GASP!)....A WOMAN!

Renee Surmises that The other 3 Bodies were Collateral Damage, the Real Target, A Mafia Capo was not killed by Bullets, But an Arrow!

It can only be one Superhero!

.....THAT DOESN'T HAVE HER OWN SHOW!

Flashback shows us Huntress (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) who asks her Victim if she know who she is.

Honey, Not Even DC can Decide on your Official Backstory! Aren't you Batman's Daughter From Another Timeline? She accuses the Perp of being an Assassin For Black Mask, that is until the explosion happens! Investigating the scene, Montoya finds Harley's J pendant on the ground, She Surmises that Harley has Publicly exclaimed she is done with the Joker, She has lost all Immunity and has invited every victim and Bounty Hunter to her door, top of that list, Sionis for the factory she just blew up!

Hell, Harley Couldn't Even Have an Egg-Wich without rival Skaters, A scarred Lou Ferringo, Romin's Chauffer and the brother of Animal Handler who tried to rape Harley and got eaten by a Hyena, never mind all the warrants for her arrest, causes Renee to tackle Harley and toss her breakfast, Harley reacting like Gandhi got shot in front of her!

OSCAR CLIP!

Dumb Luck and an Assist by Huntress Means Harley Could Have Escaped Day One, Until Black Mask's Goons surround her, so she surrenders.

In the Police Precinct, Embarrassed, and Discredited further in front of the D.A., Who just happens to be Renee's ex girlfriend (Lucy Liu). Montoya tries to spin a connection between Sionis and "The crossbow killer" And a lost Diamond that has the treasure map to Mafia money etched onto it's atomic structure by lasers. which is why Pillar of Society, Slicey McFaysov, is putting money into Laser projection technology, Renee's lead was Romin's driver, but thanks to the bounty, He's now dead!

Renee Gets an Unknown Call, a woman's voice tell us, that a "she" has the diamond, not her calling but a little girl, a pickpocket who we saw at the roller derby.

To make Renee's Day worse, Harley Storms the Police with Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon looking for a Cassandra Caine!

That's when Narrator Harley Interrupts to tells us the film has written themselves into a corner! So a flashback from Romin's point of view is needed to the Night before when Harley was at the Black Mask club!

Remember in the 60's Batman Tv show the villains would hide in Plain sight, in factories pertaining to their gimmick, before the Modern era made them edgy and believable? Time have changed(!)

We see the Identity of Renee's new Informant, Club Singer Dinah Lance, aka the BLA.....AFRICAN-AMERICAN CANARY! Yes in the same time this was released, the Legends of Tomorrow tv show was going on, that show has the character White Canary, who kept her canon Ethnicity.

So yes~!

They kept White Canary white, and turned the more famous Black Canary black.....DESPITE THE FACT THEY ARE FULL BIOLOGICAL SISTERS!

We are not done with the stupid changes to established characters to fit this story, so this is not over yet!

In the flashback are days before the Deal with Chinese triads went south and before Sionis added 3 more faces to his collection, Sionis reveals he's evil because he didn't get enough hugs as a child! Romin Reveals he has the Burtonelli Diamond and needs every bit of financial clout to support and build a laser projector, Mr Ko refuses and...well I told you what happens next! 

Dinah Finishes her set and changes into Street Clothes. At the bar, A drunk Harley, tells Dinah the origin of the Word Harlequin, it means "Made to Serve", And the Harlequin and the Bird in a Cage have too much in Common.

A drunk Harley leaves with a strange man, and Dinah feels uneasy, and she's right. the man is kidnapping Harley for the bounty.

Dinah Kicks some ass, for those you don't know, Black Canary is a trained martial artist, something Romin didn't know about as he watches from his penthouse, it gives him an idea which he tells his "assistant", Victor Zsasz, he want's Dinah to be his new Driver!

Dinah lives in the same Projects has our new protag, Cassandra Caine, Yet another character they ballsed up to fit this narrative. They ruined Cassie the minute she opened her mouth to speak....as in SHE CAN SPEAK!

BACKSTORY!

The Character That will become the second Batwoman, was an infant stolen by lower level hood named Harry Caine, he trained Cassie to fight and kill at a young age, using the brainpower of an infant, it's said that a child of 2 can learn and understand 200 words and the world around them every day, Harry used that to make the most skilled and unassuming killer...at the cost of of Cassandra's speech and emotional development!

Instead she's a potty-mouth pickpocket because Black Canary can now be offended if I Served her Fried Chicken and Watermelon!

Cassie's Foster Parents are arguing, Cassie's arm in a cast a possible result of a past argument. But Dinah Tells her when she grows up, she will have a family of her own...

"OR YOU COULD MEET YOUR REAL MOTHER....AFTER SHE TRIES TO KILL YOU!

With her leads into Sionis now useless, Montoya tries to angle Dinah, Trouble is Dinah isn't to deep into Sionis or "cape-work"...Until Renee Brings up her mother, the hero she was and the powers her daughter shares!

"STOP GETTING COMIC BOOKS WRONG!"

Black canary 1 DID NOT HAVE POWERS! MOVING ON!

....That struck a nerve with Dinah as it seems Dinah Lance Snr was Murdered. Back with Romin and Victor, Zsasz tells his boss the "Crossbow Killer" has killed 6 of his men last night, Dinah Arrives and Sionis Brown-noses her by showing her his souvenirs of African masks, while being back-handed about African being a dirty and full of Spear-chuckers!

....and if they were using say an REAL African American Superhero like Say, Vixen and character whose powers come from African Culture, this scene would hit different!

Anyway today is the day all the players meet, as it's the day of the Burtonelli Diamond gets stolen by Cassie...as she lifts it from Zsasz' pocket, I'll explain in part 2 why one of Dc's most dangerous killers shouldn't have being okie-doked by a child, So Cassie is arrested and swallows the diamond.

That's a shame, because SPOILERS! Victor Zsasz is really good with Knives!

So we return to after the Black Mask gang capture Harley, who is about to be killed by Zsasz, when she cuts a deal to retrieve Cassie when her name is dropped, But Romin's pimp slap hits Harley so hard she daydreams she....Marylin monroe as she sings, in Harley's NU Joisery accent no less, Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend as All the Weedy looking Goons in the previous scene looked as intimidating as Back-up Dancers, reveal, that they are back-up Dancers She Snaps out of it As Romin Reminds her That his gimmick is ripping faces off skulls!

WILL HARLEY RETRIEVE THE DIAMOND?

WILL CASSIE RELIEVE THE DIAMOND?

AND WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MAKING ZSASZ THE WAYLON SMITHERS TO ROMIN'S MR BURNS?

ALL THIS WILL REVEALED, BY HOOK OR BY CROOK! NEXT TIME ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!

Halloween Special 2020: Shed Of the Dead

I Know 2020 Has felt like a Zombie Apocalypse in it's own right, but hopefully there is enough laughs in this British Zom-Com to keep your minds off it!

The Film starts with the Glorious Voiceover of Brian Blessed, narrating the saga of Casimer, a brave knight...only it's a DND Campaign!

This is actually the daydream of Trevor, an asthmatic, DnDer, who creates diecast figures, and vodka in his Allotment Shed in North London. he is Greeted by Mr Parsons, the Allotment Manager, who has come to tell Trevor he has sending a petition to evict Trevor, as he is not using the shed and allotted land as a Garden. Said Allotment has a stoner in it, but it seems Parsons is one of those "TECHNICALLY!" Jobsworths

Why do I Get the feeling Trevor will relish killing your animated corpse the most?

After Title Drop that contained the likeness of actors of a certain better Zombie Comedy, we cut to a hairdressers. one of the girls is Trevor's wife, who is closing up because her slutty boss, Harriet is dating a sugar daddy!

On the way home that night, Trevor bumps into Doc, An American Cowboy Enthusiast. He tells the Nerd he didn't sign the Petition, as they are in the same both, as Trevor continues on his way, we see Doc cover bloody bones with dirt with his shoe.

Trevor returns to find Bobbi and Harriet have eaten Dinner. Bobbi argues that she is the breadwinner and Trevor is wasting his time playing with the only other loser in town. So he heads to Graham's house, since she mentions it.

So Graham (played by Keith from the Office, or Dj Ewen from Clubland if you prefer!) who suggests killing Parsons. Graham is Agoraphobic, but if he wasn't he would be on Harriet like White on Rice! As the boys while away the night with tabletop games, A half naked Zombie girl crawls out of Doc's Allotment!

Returning home, Bobbi pretends to be asleep when Trevor returns home. At the Allotment, Exposistion FM, for all you plot needs, tells us that grave robberies are rife in North London, As the Zombie girl picks off the gardeners one by one! Harriet Accidentally kills Derek the Sugar Daddy from a heart attack during some BDSM!

 At the Allotment, Parsons accuses Trevor of stealing his potatoes for his still, He hasn't, but Parsons is just fishing for an excuse to evict Trevor, in an argument, Parson falls backwards and impales himself on a pitchfork, killing him stone dead!

Trevor tells Graham what happened next, he dragged him to his shed to dispose of the body!

Walking home the next day, Trevor is too caught up in his walkman and daydream to notice the Zombie Apocalypse has arrived! Arriving at the shed, he dismembers Parsons' corpse, covered in blood, only for Trevor to be trapped in his shed by the shovel falling over with the now Zombie of Mr Parsons. As Trevor calls 999 and is put on hold, he discovers that the Muzac calms zombies to  fall asleep, not that it's ever used again in the endgame!

He calls Bobbi, who answers the phone in the throes of an orgasm as she cheats on Trevor, so He thinks she's undead, so he calls Graham, because his Agoraphobia is bullshit! Trevor wants to rescue his wife and he convinces Graham to come out because rescuing Harriet will impress her. Trevor Smashes a bottle over Parsons head, plucks out his eye, crawls out off the roof by removing a sheet of metal, and finishes off Parsons, the bloodlust leaving his body and he passes out!

Graham comes to the Allotment and they meet Doc, who is a zombie hunter and fights off the zombie gardeners! Walking back to their street, Derek the Sugar  Daddy gets Zombified. Covered in Blood and wheezing without his Medication, Harriet thinks Trevor is a zombie and decks him with a frying pan, Leading to another Daydream of Bobbi as a Greek Goddess tending to Casimer's wounds!

Trevor wakes up to Bobbi and Harriet telling Graham that Bobbi did cheat on Trevor....with Harriet!

Despite Warnings, Zombie Sugardaddy has bitten Harriet and is roaming the House, Graham deals with him as Trevor gets some clean clothes on. Derek Bites Graham who makes the sacrifice to give the others a 10 minute head start. Zombie Harriet and Zombie Graham kiss/eat each other as Trevor and Bobbi make a run for it!

With North London on Fire, Doc rescues Bobbi and Trevor as he goes on a killing Spree, there is only one place safe place left, ironically the place it all started; the allotment, after throwing away his figure after stepping on it during a blowjob, Bobbi screams as the entire town descend, causing Trevor and Bobbi to have a climatic last stand against the Zombies

Trevor has one last daydream, Graham's alter ego, Brandt, reminding him of a campaign where Casimer used a fireball spell to kill Zombies, so he ignites his Still to do the same, Bobbi is bitten, so she covers herself with vodka, The Sole Survivor throws a Molotov Cocktail into the shed, Burning Bobbi alive but Saving London!

28 Fortnights Later
Trevor now living as the sole human in London, has Now become Casimer, learning how to Garden and Survive of the land, He sees Zombie Doc and Remembering his advice, Kills him with the Cowboy's own Rifle!

This film sucks!
the Moment they had an opening sequence containing actors likeness from more successful Zombie films, i knew this was tat! The difference between this and any good zombie film is something Romero and Pegg got right 5 decades apart: Human Nuance! You Felt Sorry for the Humans who turned into Zombies who were kind and heroic once, and you relished when the Asshole got the most gruesome death! Here, everyone is abhorrent, Physically or Socially! Bobbi is just the worst, Humanity is plummeting all around her, but she still has time to tell her husband what a waste of space he is! Also the premise of the film is a lie, 2 DND nerds survive the Apocalypse? I saw no swords, No Bow and Arrows, and the "DND inspired" plan of killing the Zombies was arbitrary At best!

Chalk another L for the Horror Channel!

CREDITS
Shed of the Dead was Reviewed Compiled and Edited and Eamonn Bermingham
(@RealEnli on twitter)
Shed of the Dead was produced by 7DM Studios!
All Rights Reserved!

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE:
IT'S THE RETURN OF THE UPSTAGING ASS!
PREY FOR ME....
MARGOT ROBBIE'S SCENE STEALING SEAT RETURNS IN THE REVIEW OF BIRDS OF PREY: THE EMANCIPATION OF HARLEY QUINN!