I Know 2020 Has felt like a Zombie Apocalypse in it's own right, but hopefully there is enough laughs in this British Zom-Com to keep your minds off it!
The Film starts with the Glorious Voiceover of Brian Blessed, narrating the saga of Casimer, a brave knight...only it's a DND Campaign!
This is actually the daydream of Trevor, an asthmatic, DnDer, who creates diecast figures, and vodka in his Allotment Shed in North London. he is Greeted by Mr Parsons, the Allotment Manager, who has come to tell Trevor he has sending a petition to evict Trevor, as he is not using the shed and allotted land as a Garden. Said Allotment has a stoner in it, but it seems Parsons is one of those "TECHNICALLY!" Jobsworths
Why do I Get the feeling Trevor will relish killing your animated corpse the most?
After Title Drop that contained the likeness of actors of a certain better Zombie Comedy, we cut to a hairdressers. one of the girls is Trevor's wife, who is closing up because her slutty boss, Harriet is dating a sugar daddy!
On the way home that night, Trevor bumps into Doc, An American Cowboy Enthusiast. He tells the Nerd he didn't sign the Petition, as they are in the same both, as Trevor continues on his way, we see Doc cover bloody bones with dirt with his shoe.
Trevor returns to find Bobbi and Harriet have eaten Dinner. Bobbi argues that she is the breadwinner and Trevor is wasting his time playing with the only other loser in town. So he heads to Graham's house, since she mentions it.
So Graham (played by Keith from the Office, or Dj Ewen from Clubland if you prefer!) who suggests killing Parsons. Graham is Agoraphobic, but if he wasn't he would be on Harriet like White on Rice! As the boys while away the night with tabletop games, A half naked Zombie girl crawls out of Doc's Allotment!
Returning home, Bobbi pretends to be asleep when Trevor returns home. At the Allotment, Exposistion FM, for all you plot needs, tells us that grave robberies are rife in North London, As the Zombie girl picks off the gardeners one by one! Harriet Accidentally kills Derek the Sugar Daddy from a heart attack during some BDSM!
At the Allotment, Parsons accuses Trevor of stealing his potatoes for his still, He hasn't, but Parsons is just fishing for an excuse to evict Trevor, in an argument, Parson falls backwards and impales himself on a pitchfork, killing him stone dead!
Trevor tells Graham what happened next, he dragged him to his shed to dispose of the body!
Walking home the next day, Trevor is too caught up in his walkman and daydream to notice the Zombie Apocalypse has arrived! Arriving at the shed, he dismembers Parsons' corpse, covered in blood, only for Trevor to be trapped in his shed by the shovel falling over with the now Zombie of Mr Parsons. As Trevor calls 999 and is put on hold, he discovers that the Muzac calms zombies to fall asleep, not that it's ever used again in the endgame!
He calls Bobbi, who answers the phone in the throes of an orgasm as she cheats on Trevor, so He thinks she's undead, so he calls Graham, because his Agoraphobia is bullshit! Trevor wants to rescue his wife and he convinces Graham to come out because rescuing Harriet will impress her. Trevor Smashes a bottle over Parsons head, plucks out his eye, crawls out off the roof by removing a sheet of metal, and finishes off Parsons, the bloodlust leaving his body and he passes out!
Graham comes to the Allotment and they meet Doc, who is a zombie hunter and fights off the zombie gardeners! Walking back to their street, Derek the Sugar Daddy gets Zombified. Covered in Blood and wheezing without his Medication, Harriet thinks Trevor is a zombie and decks him with a frying pan, Leading to another Daydream of Bobbi as a Greek Goddess tending to Casimer's wounds!
Trevor wakes up to Bobbi and Harriet telling Graham that Bobbi did cheat on Trevor....with Harriet!
Despite Warnings, Zombie Sugardaddy has bitten Harriet and is roaming the House, Graham deals with him as Trevor gets some clean clothes on. Derek Bites Graham who makes the sacrifice to give the others a 10 minute head start. Zombie Harriet and Zombie Graham kiss/eat each other as Trevor and Bobbi make a run for it!
With North London on Fire, Doc rescues Bobbi and Trevor as he goes on a killing Spree, there is only one place safe place left, ironically the place it all started; the allotment, after throwing away his figure after stepping on it during a blowjob, Bobbi screams as the entire town descend, causing Trevor and Bobbi to have a climatic last stand against the Zombies
Trevor has one last daydream, Graham's alter ego, Brandt, reminding him of a campaign where Casimer used a fireball spell to kill Zombies, so he ignites his Still to do the same, Bobbi is bitten, so she covers herself with vodka, The Sole Survivor throws a Molotov Cocktail into the shed, Burning Bobbi alive but Saving London!
28 Fortnights Later
Trevor now living as the sole human in London, has Now become Casimer, learning how to Garden and Survive of the land, He sees Zombie Doc and Remembering his advice, Kills him with the Cowboy's own Rifle!
This film sucks!
the Moment they had an opening sequence containing actors likeness from more successful Zombie films, i knew this was tat! The difference between this and any good zombie film is something Romero and Pegg got right 5 decades apart: Human Nuance! You Felt Sorry for the Humans who turned into Zombies who were kind and heroic once, and you relished when the Asshole got the most gruesome death! Here, everyone is abhorrent, Physically or Socially! Bobbi is just the worst, Humanity is plummeting all around her, but she still has time to tell her husband what a waste of space he is! Also the premise of the film is a lie, 2 DND nerds survive the Apocalypse? I saw no swords, No Bow and Arrows, and the "DND inspired" plan of killing the Zombies was arbitrary At best!
Chalk another L for the Horror Channel!
CREDITS
Shed of the Dead was Reviewed Compiled and Edited and Eamonn Bermingham
(@RealEnli on twitter)
Shed of the Dead was produced by 7DM Studios!
All Rights Reserved!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE:
IT'S THE RETURN OF THE UPSTAGING ASS!
PREY FOR ME....
MARGOT ROBBIE'S SCENE STEALING SEAT RETURNS IN THE REVIEW OF BIRDS OF PREY: THE EMANCIPATION OF HARLEY QUINN!
The Film starts with the Glorious Voiceover of Brian Blessed, narrating the saga of Casimer, a brave knight...only it's a DND Campaign!
This is actually the daydream of Trevor, an asthmatic, DnDer, who creates diecast figures, and vodka in his Allotment Shed in North London. he is Greeted by Mr Parsons, the Allotment Manager, who has come to tell Trevor he has sending a petition to evict Trevor, as he is not using the shed and allotted land as a Garden. Said Allotment has a stoner in it, but it seems Parsons is one of those "TECHNICALLY!" Jobsworths
Why do I Get the feeling Trevor will relish killing your animated corpse the most?
After Title Drop that contained the likeness of actors of a certain better Zombie Comedy, we cut to a hairdressers. one of the girls is Trevor's wife, who is closing up because her slutty boss, Harriet is dating a sugar daddy!
On the way home that night, Trevor bumps into Doc, An American Cowboy Enthusiast. He tells the Nerd he didn't sign the Petition, as they are in the same both, as Trevor continues on his way, we see Doc cover bloody bones with dirt with his shoe.
Trevor returns to find Bobbi and Harriet have eaten Dinner. Bobbi argues that she is the breadwinner and Trevor is wasting his time playing with the only other loser in town. So he heads to Graham's house, since she mentions it.
So Graham (played by Keith from the Office, or Dj Ewen from Clubland if you prefer!) who suggests killing Parsons. Graham is Agoraphobic, but if he wasn't he would be on Harriet like White on Rice! As the boys while away the night with tabletop games, A half naked Zombie girl crawls out of Doc's Allotment!
Returning home, Bobbi pretends to be asleep when Trevor returns home. At the Allotment, Exposistion FM, for all you plot needs, tells us that grave robberies are rife in North London, As the Zombie girl picks off the gardeners one by one! Harriet Accidentally kills Derek the Sugar Daddy from a heart attack during some BDSM!
At the Allotment, Parsons accuses Trevor of stealing his potatoes for his still, He hasn't, but Parsons is just fishing for an excuse to evict Trevor, in an argument, Parson falls backwards and impales himself on a pitchfork, killing him stone dead!
Trevor tells Graham what happened next, he dragged him to his shed to dispose of the body!
Walking home the next day, Trevor is too caught up in his walkman and daydream to notice the Zombie Apocalypse has arrived! Arriving at the shed, he dismembers Parsons' corpse, covered in blood, only for Trevor to be trapped in his shed by the shovel falling over with the now Zombie of Mr Parsons. As Trevor calls 999 and is put on hold, he discovers that the Muzac calms zombies to fall asleep, not that it's ever used again in the endgame!
He calls Bobbi, who answers the phone in the throes of an orgasm as she cheats on Trevor, so He thinks she's undead, so he calls Graham, because his Agoraphobia is bullshit! Trevor wants to rescue his wife and he convinces Graham to come out because rescuing Harriet will impress her. Trevor Smashes a bottle over Parsons head, plucks out his eye, crawls out off the roof by removing a sheet of metal, and finishes off Parsons, the bloodlust leaving his body and he passes out!
Graham comes to the Allotment and they meet Doc, who is a zombie hunter and fights off the zombie gardeners! Walking back to their street, Derek the Sugar Daddy gets Zombified. Covered in Blood and wheezing without his Medication, Harriet thinks Trevor is a zombie and decks him with a frying pan, Leading to another Daydream of Bobbi as a Greek Goddess tending to Casimer's wounds!
Trevor wakes up to Bobbi and Harriet telling Graham that Bobbi did cheat on Trevor....with Harriet!
Despite Warnings, Zombie Sugardaddy has bitten Harriet and is roaming the House, Graham deals with him as Trevor gets some clean clothes on. Derek Bites Graham who makes the sacrifice to give the others a 10 minute head start. Zombie Harriet and Zombie Graham kiss/eat each other as Trevor and Bobbi make a run for it!
With North London on Fire, Doc rescues Bobbi and Trevor as he goes on a killing Spree, there is only one place safe place left, ironically the place it all started; the allotment, after throwing away his figure after stepping on it during a blowjob, Bobbi screams as the entire town descend, causing Trevor and Bobbi to have a climatic last stand against the Zombies
Trevor has one last daydream, Graham's alter ego, Brandt, reminding him of a campaign where Casimer used a fireball spell to kill Zombies, so he ignites his Still to do the same, Bobbi is bitten, so she covers herself with vodka, The Sole Survivor throws a Molotov Cocktail into the shed, Burning Bobbi alive but Saving London!
28 Fortnights Later
Trevor now living as the sole human in London, has Now become Casimer, learning how to Garden and Survive of the land, He sees Zombie Doc and Remembering his advice, Kills him with the Cowboy's own Rifle!
This film sucks!
the Moment they had an opening sequence containing actors likeness from more successful Zombie films, i knew this was tat! The difference between this and any good zombie film is something Romero and Pegg got right 5 decades apart: Human Nuance! You Felt Sorry for the Humans who turned into Zombies who were kind and heroic once, and you relished when the Asshole got the most gruesome death! Here, everyone is abhorrent, Physically or Socially! Bobbi is just the worst, Humanity is plummeting all around her, but she still has time to tell her husband what a waste of space he is! Also the premise of the film is a lie, 2 DND nerds survive the Apocalypse? I saw no swords, No Bow and Arrows, and the "DND inspired" plan of killing the Zombies was arbitrary At best!
Chalk another L for the Horror Channel!
CREDITS
Shed of the Dead was Reviewed Compiled and Edited and Eamonn Bermingham
(@RealEnli on twitter)
Shed of the Dead was produced by 7DM Studios!
All Rights Reserved!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE:
IT'S THE RETURN OF THE UPSTAGING ASS!
PREY FOR ME....
MARGOT ROBBIE'S SCENE STEALING SEAT RETURNS IN THE REVIEW OF BIRDS OF PREY: THE EMANCIPATION OF HARLEY QUINN!
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