TICKET TO HELL 2026-RED NOTICE (AKA THE GOLDEN EGG FILM!) PART 1

( Ticket To Hell. The Two deaths of E.THE FINAL CHAPTER 

PART ONE, Births and Funerals.

to recap, our hero, A fictionized version of myself, was kidnaped by two bounty Hunters, one a German Plague Doctor and the other, a creature who took the form of a memory of something that frightened Eamonn as a child and claimed to be death. 

The ones who issued the bounty were Automatons called the Appraiser of Will, Creatures who are Equal to The Many Cosmic Entities we have seen before, but rather than those who play with the Souls of men like a Game, or mark the passage of time with Holidays, These Appraisers of Will, are Both Curators and Relics of their Realm of The Grey Area, the place concepts, ideas and even whole living beings, are taken to be Appraised. To be tested if their will to live is to be extended or left to run out. For a year, as one of the last few text reviewers, Eamonn is subject to humiliation and ridicule by Higher Alien beings.

Until one day doing his reviews, he stumbled on an Evolved power, Similar to The Devil's Dvd that Spurned the Story Starting all those years ago. He found freedom once again by reevaluating his powers, if bad films are no longer bound to physical items, he too must be digital, with the guidance of a mysterious voice, Our hero took power from this realm, and Cloaked in new 8-bit armour, he Became the Pilgrim of The Digital Frontier.

In our world, With Eamonn taken to the Grey Area, His disappearance was treated like a cover-up. Everyone who knew him, acted like he never existed, only by a series of mishaps that could be thwarted by Eamonn's Existence and some Cajoling by Ostrich, did Joe-Jack and the Visiting Cosmic Entities Remember Eamonn. Though the Return of Yusef, Joe-Jack's Counterpart from Earth-3 and the revenge of Sabaru and Eighties Lad when they returned from their Pocket Dimensional prison. 

After a skirmish, The heroes convinced the villians and Vigilante to a temporary truce for their own ends. Jusef to return home and Edwin and Sabaru who were convinced they had a given right to kill Eamonn to satisfy their revenge! With The Cosmic Entities powers they got to the Grey Area.  However, the Human members soon Succumbed to the Overwhelming Sense of Depression the Realm for forgotten things produces. But their fought through when they remembered their purposes. 

While they arrived to break Eamonn out, the Cosmic Entities, revealed there was more afoot with the Appraisers of Will. 

One of them Had Malfunctioned and is a Traitor. According to the Entities, one of them had reverted to its base emotions, rather than performing tasks properly. It was Chesed, the Being of Kindess, Eamonn's Ally into escape, who shocked everyone when she of all Creatures had hidden on her Model. What is Chesed's Endgame and surely what real harm can Kindess do to the world?

Chapter 2 will be after the Review section

AND FOR NOW,  BACK TO OUR SCHEDULED REVIEW!)

November the 21st 2021 (or November the 22nd If you were in Europe!)

WWE had it's Annual Survivor Series Pay-per-view in the Barclay's Centre in Brooklyn, New York.

As One of WWE'S "Big Five" Events, Survivor Series is an Important date on the Wrestling sphere's calendar.

But the 2021 edition was a day of greater Import.

25 years ago on this Night, "The Rock" would debut.

And the Rock Celebrated this fact....By Not turning up!

However, WWE Didn't just settle for showing clips of the Rock to pad the show, WWE would kill two birds with one Stone-Acknowledge the Milestone, while Providing Promotional consideration for Rock's new film at the time-Red Notice

So what happened Next Blew all the matches out of the water-This was so Bad, this segment is the only thing people remember. The Only thing they Remember is Vince McMahon's Limo and him greeted by a sea of Jobbers who heard him proclaim that The Rock gave him The Golden Egg From the Movie!

"AND EVERYONE HATED THAT!"

With his Advanced Age, his tired ideas and his sins Catching up with him, from 2022 to the year he was ousted 2024, Any stupid Idea and decision was Blamed on the Golden Egg Era!

Having a hate-boner for Muslims? Golden Egg!

Making Corpse-Poker a Champion? Golden Egg!

Firing 60 British Talents and treating their Contracts And Lives like a Tax Deductible? Golden Egg!

But why do we remember This Badly and not be Angry with other Wrestling Promotional Consideration?

Dave Bautista around at the same time, was in Army of the Dead and he didn't turn up on WWE either, instead WWE Promoted the film with a tag match where all the lumberjacks (Extras to ensure noone escapes the ring!) were Las Vegas-themed Zombies....

Including Zombie Elvis! (as the Premise of the film was a Bank raid in a zombie infected Vegas-It's terrible-So terrible I don't need to review it!)

But why do people Hate the Red Notice Promotion and not remember the Army of the Dead promotion?

well that's simple!

Batista is NOT The Rock!

On paper, Dwayne Johnson and Dave Bautista have comparable careers-Both have Headlined Wrestlemania, both have being world champions, Both have won the Royal Rumble and both went to Hollywood before retiring for good!

However the Rock is a bigger star, his era of wrestling was the hottest era with the WWF in a 3 company war for the hearts and minds of a whole generation.

Bastista was from the Era straight after, while Wrestling didn't cool down quickly, It was the era where WWE was starting to monopolize the sport, TNA Was ran by a complete idiot, Ring of Honour would have it's stars go to WWE, and every so often Uncle Dave Melty-Head would get a tingle in his loins about some Untelevised Match in the Tokyo Dome!

But Did WWE's terrible promotion kill this franchise-Or has Red Notice done enough by itself?

Well let's finally check out this exhibition on Red Notice, But to see the artifacts you need admission (UN)luckily you have a.....TICKET TO HELL!

THE FOLLOWING FILM IS RATED 12 FOR VIOLENCE, INNUENDO, AND THREAT. THIS FILM IS INTENDED FOR AN ADULT AUDENCE, AND AS SUCH I WILL BE USING ADULT LANGUAGE, WHICH WILL BE CENSORED, DUE TO GOOGLE'S TERMS OF SERVICE!

Promotional art for this on Netflix is Rock The Dwayne, Gal Gadot and Ryan Reynolds posing, which is lame! 

We know this film is bad because it's formed from that Cradle of Evil since Time Immemorial-ANCIENT EGYPT!

"DIO'S THEME INTENSIFIES!"

As AI Nat Geo host Voice Drones on about the Abridged history of the love between Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, we go into the plot that the Roman general Gifted golden eggs to the female pharaoh, 2 were Found, 1 is on Display in Rome, the second has being auctioned Many times. Will we ever find the Lost third Egg?

That is up to whoever is working with scanning technology and Metalurgy to make a fake Golden Egg!

We get the title Drop and the Definition of what a Red Notice is-It's the highest level of arrest warrant issued by Interpol!

We cut to Rome, during a dramatic Car Chase, out of one car given a police escort is Johnson who is playing an Interpol agent who just arrived at a museum. 

Some British woman exposits that Johnson is Agent John Hartley, as museum staff even Doubt Hartley is a real Profiler. She continues that Hartley got word that the egg in the collection is to be stolen by one Nolan Booth, as informed by "The Bishop "-A Person the Curator says is nothing more than quote "A Boogeyman of the Art World, a Catch-All excuse, when Incompetent police can't find Thieves".

Using thermal cameras on the Egg at Display and Six class science, Gold Conducts Heat as well as electricity and Radiation, the thermal cameras shows the Egg is not white hot to yellow, But completely Blue on thermal cameras. In other words...

The Curator can't Believe he's being had, But when Agent Hartley finds a kid with a can of Coca-Cola. 

1) How Convenient to find an English speaker in Italy! 2) as Hartley said, Food and drink are not allowed in Museums, I've been to Statlely Homes that have been converted into Museums, and I can tell you that family would be thrown out and banned Verbally for not acknowledging the rules.

So Hartley Spills the Coke (All the while with logo facing the camera) and the Golden Egg Dissolves into Brown mush, all the while Nolan Booth (Reynolds) looks on as his crime is being foiled.

The agents call for the Viewing room to he sealed, just as Booth makes a run for it! Sorry Rocky, your athletic prowess is no match for Reynolds' Whippet like legs and being wirey enough to fit through door frames, as Hartley is now Stuck. A smoke bomb thrown by Booth only makes things worse,  Reynolds' Stunt double LE PARKOUR'S to Safety dealing with Security Guards with one giving a Wilhelm Scream out for good measure. 

Hartley has Booth at Gunpoint, With Booth stalling for time, The British Agent, Das, comes in shouting at Booth to move, (Wait that can't be right!) So The Thief smashes through a window like Father Jack and down a Conveniently placed Tube slide, with Hartley chasing him on the outside climbing across a ledge to an Equally Conveniently Placed Ladder. 

Speaking of Conveniently Placed, when Nolan steals a scooter, THERE JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE a Gala of some sort with some Well-To-Do Couple getting Paparazzied on front of a Ferrari, which Hartley steals. We get five seconds of Sabotage by the Beasty Boys, before the Ferrari is totaled by a Hippy Van!

Silly Rock The Dwayne! This isn't Fast and The Furious 28! Nolan gets away!

We cut to Bali, Indonesia 56 hours later-Thanks to a Caption. Nolan is on a speedboat sailing towards a beach resort, Where Booth enjoys his ill gotten gains, only for Hartley's Voice to echo behind him! And while he's out of his Jurisdiction,  He can inform local police, as a swat team, storm in and surrounding Booth. 

Booth is a complete idiot of a Thief, Proudly Displaying the things he has Stolen.

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? THE BRITISH MUSEUM?

Hartley Psychoanalyses Booth and Claims he commits crimes because his father never loved him.

Oh Yes!

The Elon Musk Syndrome!

Realizing "The Bishop" Betrayed him, Booth is arrested for his crimes. The Golden egg is put on a Separate Van from Booth, under the suggestion of Agent Das. And sure Enough the Egg is given to A swat member who is clearly a Shapely Caucasian Women even if most of her body besides Her eyes and hands are covered. 

AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW WHO WON THE PONY, BUT THE ONLY SIX FOOT CAUCASIAN WOMEN SWAT OFFICER IN ALL OF INDONESIA WAS GAL GADOT?

PART 2 WILL BE RELEASED NEXT WEEK!

(Eamonn's Dialogue and review in Black)

Joe-Jack's Dialogue in blue

Edwin/Eighties Lad's Dialogue in Orange

Saburu's Dialogue in Gold

The Cosmic Entities Dialogue's in Green

Yusef's Dialogue in Aqua

Chesed's Dialogue in Pink, Bolded and Underlined as to denote a sense of authority!

The 2 Deaths of E.THE FINAL CHAPTER 

Part 2. How Dangerous can Kindness Be? You'd be surprised.

To say the others we surprised by Joe-Jack's accusation, was an understatement. But as he explained that the Entities or "Da God Babbies" as he called them said the Malfunctioning Traitor was a "she" and since Binah, the other female voice tried to convince Chesed not to do whatever she planned to do.

She made an indignant noise. Then another. Then Another, soon she was repeating the same recording of the noise until it developed into a crazy laugh. Like one of Countess laughs. 

Bra(ehehe) vo! You Finally (Hehe) got it! Actually. Flip it. Reserve it. You got what I wanted. 

Before they could react, A Hidden grappling hook attached onto Sabaru. The limbs connecting point opened like a flower, and a pestil like Syringe drew blood, and as quick it fired, it retracted back to Chesed. 

"The power you have, to Create Life, not only because you are an organic Female, but your species' quirk to warp organic matter into your Minions under your sway. One fills me with Jealousy,  and the other Disgusts me."

The blood Bonded with the Embalming fluid that sustained the umbilical cord that is Chesed's true form. But the new mixture started to boil in the canister. She cried out in pain, but it was hard to feel sad for her when she then screamed in wild excitement. The cord turned into a few ova with was fertilized in the liquid, which was now an artificial womb. Even the inorganic parts were being transformed.  With her scream reaching its highest note. A light enveloped the pod, when the arena illuminating light died down the pod was still glowing, but it was no longer a cylindrical machine, but something that warped into something humanoid. 

Glistening under a layer of residue fluid, after her Rebirth, Chesed picked up a smashed piece of her Glass Canister to peer at her new form. Taking a moment to admire her pink skin, and metallic golden pointed fingernails, she saw her new form. Brunette shoulder length curls that were topped with a flower garland, her hair framed her round soft features, a round face, a smooth chin, dimpled checks and dangle earrings shaped like Astrolabes. In contrast to her warm, almost friendly face, was the coldest Harshest, Yellow-Brown eyes, hard and unfeeling like Quartz, where accented by false eyelashes which looked like Typebars for a typewriter. what started as a Sentient Umbilical cord, she was now a Curvy woman who looked like an adult, modestly dressed in a sari made of fleshy tentacles, of the same colour of dried blood, that contrasted with green accents of ivy bound on her bare footed legs.

But the transformation wasn't done yet. Sensing her Audience, she straightened up and bloody wings formed out of her shoulder blades and pointed down her back. 

It was Yusef who spoke first after a shrug and a sigh....

(Beat)

You know, the moment they start to transform and give themselves Iconography and a crown, they might as well, just put on a Sandwich board that says "Look at Me, I'm Evil!"

How very Cynical. I See you came from a World where your gods forsaken you. Do not judge me by their actions. Though I will forgive you for doubt all the same.

Oh very kind of you. However, its Gods like you that made World's like mine. Gods who the fattened pigs of the Bloody Empire like to scream anthems that "God Saves" them. Like Empire and oppression is divine providence.

Sabaru turned to Eighties Lad, and got his attention

(Psssst, what's going on?)

(Long Story Short, Yusef is a Joe-Jack who comes from a world where the British Empire still rule) 

I see. Your Lack of Faith is due to Some of Humanity claiming the Expanse of God's Will to themselves and Themselves alone.

I will see what I can do.

With a squishy sound, the Flower above her forehead in her garland, turned into a third eye. Chesed was being transmitted news feeds her mind filled with images of starvation. With Protests and the Smug smiles and venomous words of Leaders less Self-aware than she was.

So, I see. You are a Species who are suffering.

You are fighting over resources you don't have for everyone. 

You are missing the point, yes there is suffering in the world, but we have the solutions already. Its just that not everyone will listen. 

If there was a Solution, you would have used it. No. IF I PROVIDE WHAT HUMANITY NEEDS, MORE OF IT! WHEN IT IS NEEDED, THEN I CAN TRUELY BE THE TRUE EMBODIMENT OF KINDENESS!

(Chesed raised her arm over her head, the sky darkened as the ground shook, something had appeared in Space that scraped past the surface of Mars. 

Edwin pulled out the 3d shades which projected the Images of what was coming towards us.

Dude, This Chick is Psycho!

tHIS iS a pLAY tHAT iS a dANGEROUS GAMBIT!

Jaysus! Iz Dat...what oi Fink it iz?

"Yes! The thing Chesed has summoned to Earth...."

(Everyone stared at the wormhole that had its contents float towards our planet. It was a sphere as big as our planet. When the sun shone on it, the realized why it was this size.)

".....Is Another Earth!"

Eamonn reviews....Reptile?

It has not being my month since I saw you last!

My poll glitched on Twitter so it couldn't be interacted with, So by default Infinity Pool WAS going to be this next review.

Then when I booted up Netflix and typed in Infinity Pool last month, it had left the Subscription service. 

So instead I will review the first film that shows up if you type in that title into Netflix's search-Reptile.

Made in 2023, Reptile is a Murder Mystery where a Grizzled Detective must uncover through a sea of Shady characters to track down a Gruesome Murderer. 

So again, I am going in blind, So Every Surprise is going to be Genuine.

So Without Further Ado, Let's Dig into Reptile. 

The Film has two artworks, and neither of them are any good. First is just Justin Timberlake, Alicia Silverstone and Benicio Del Toro with Dull Surprise faces on a Snakeskin filter. 

The second one is slightly better. 3 bloody claw marks each with a eye catch of the above actors' faces. Better than just the actors' faces, but it does look like a reaction shot in a manga!

THE FOLLOWING POST IS OF A FILM RATED 15 FOR BLOOD, MURDER, THREAT, DRUG USE AND LANGUAGE WHICH WILL BE CENSORED. DISCRETION IS ADVISED. 

The film starts with general B-Roll of Suburban life in middle America. A man covers his pool with a Tarp, a woman is drying dishes looking on from the Kitchen. A Realtor's sign of sale is put in front of a house...their house. All the while "Angel In the Morning" plays out.

This couple (Justin Timberlake and Matilda Lutz) are realtors selling this house and as Such, involved in it's showing and upkeep. Trousersnake, true to real life, wants to fool around but the buyer has just arrived as the doorbell rings.

We cut to a Swimming pool locker room, where Maltilda's character tells a second blonde woman about car trouble she had and the feeling she was being watched.

Wait, what about the House sale? Is this after or before? When is this?

Matilda's character has a tattoo of tyre tracks down her spine. 

Great! Given that this is a Murder Mystery,  Watch it be the thing that identifies the body!

While they have a Fanservice swim, we learn Justin is to give a key note speech at an estate agent seminar, under the skeptical eye of his mother. The Speech he's about to make is themed about Survival of The fittest. 

After the Seminar, Will Greavy's (Timberlake) girlfriend never showed up, he comes home just as "Angel in the Morning " slows to 0.25 speed. He's angry that she didn't turn up at the Seminar, With her Feigning Forgetfulness and Tiredness. Will just Grabs a pillow and takes off for the night.

After a night of Couch surfing in an Empty house, Summer Elswick (Lutz), dressed as a maid finds a Snakeskin in the house. While Bill seals the Deal at the office, A Red car Pulls up outside and it's driver walks up to ring the doorbell. Thinking it's Will, Summer tells the person where she is. Will leaves the office with his buyer, but couldn't get Summer on the phone, he arrives at the House at Sunset and finds her Brutally murdered, but before your eyes can adjust to the Poorly lit scene, We get the entire Screen blocked by a Title Drop. 

We cut to a posh restaurant where we finally meet our main character, Detective Tom Nichols. (Del Toro) who is married to Alicia Silverstone's character. After an off colour joke, he notices his boss taking a Phonecall and looking distraught. 

Sure Enough, the chief has just being told he has Multiple Sclerosis, but wants to keep it a secret. As they arrive at the scene of the crime,  he brow beats a Lieutenant for dropping one of his latex gloves in an active crime scene. 

Interviewing neighbours, Nichols' attention is caught by a Suspicious unkempt man with a limp, just as the neighbour interviewed mentioned a Strange man with a limp entering the house, they also find cameras pointing towards the house. 

We cut to the police precinct, where Will was being held. Tom interrogates the man. Turns out, they were not married, only together for a year and a half. Telling the Detective that they did have an argument which makes him Suspicious of the Realtor. Also, Summer was still legally married to a Sam Gifford. But as a Suspect, Will is still Swabbed and finger printed. Tom wants to hook Will to a polygraph, but the DNA proves he's clean. 

Tom returns home to see his home under renovations. Meanwhile back at the plot, the Limping Man takes a Seat at the press conference. We cut to Summer's Autopsy, where the pathologist finds two strange things on Summers Body, First a Blonde Hair that's not hers, but stranger still, Red Paint on her Wrists, Red Calcamine Paint, a substance not available anymore. The doctor also asks Detective Nichols about his bloody mark on his wrist, which was supposedly an off screen kitchen accident,  because we need a red herring!

They find a red car on security tape they can't track a licence for. However, the car is missing a Chrome. So it's as Good as any lead. But they still think Greavy, while not the doer, still could be the mastermind, so that avenue has still to be walked.

While cutting to the Limping man Showering, and Detectives Asking all the other women at the pool about Summer, We cut to Nichols using his office computer to buy a sensor controlled tap Like the one Will has, because we need to put Quirky Humour into everything. They learn Summer had no insurance, so that wasn't a motive. We find out the man is Sam Gifford,  who not only had Previous for D**gs but also steals hair for his quote/unquote "Art"

"OH, IT'S ART!"

So Finally it's time to question him about Summer Elswick's Murder. But he is not the Limping Man, but the man who stole his hair.

Naturally as an Eccentric Artist, Gifford is a Recluse. Not only does he work with hair, but also Paint, but Lawyers up when asked about Calcamine Paint. 

When Nichols makes a call-in, he uses the Callsign "Oklahoma ". When his New Partner, Cleary asks why he's called that when he's not from the Sooner State, he learn why in the next scene. 

When we see Del Toro and Silverstone line dancing and Exchanges lines of questioning when they Dance together. Because we need to add Quirkiness, only Law and Order can be Procedural. The Other cop, Officer Walter Ridge has a side hustle of a Microbrewery with a distinctive logo. 

Let's play a game-Foreshadowing or World Building?

After learning Summer got no commissions from her sales, Suspicions of Will's Financial worries put the motive as Anger back onto the Partner, Which Will and his mother talks out of it-The Commissions went to an investment Fund, one all 3 knew and agreed to. The property they were selling was Will's mother's, so she is now a person of interest. 

While with her friends, Julia Nichols (Silverstone) exposits about a time in Phillie, Tom was accused of being corrupt, So his car was keyed with the word "Cheese-Eater" (The implication that he is a Rat!) If it wasn't for the chief, uncle Alan, who is his Uncle by marriage, he wouldn't be here in...where ever in Illinois this film is supposedly is. And he would be Depressed if he didn't have his job.

FORESHADOWING!

That night, a Strange man returns mail to Will's house, turns out Will doesn't recognise him, but he takes offence and assaults Will.

Cleary finds Summer's Telephone logue, turns out she was in the town of Limerick for 40 minutes on the day of her death. While she did sell a property there, that was months ago-So why come back?

The property she sold was an isolated Church in the Countryside. The door is open and Nichols finds the inside painted with red paint. A Tin is found and it's Calcamine Paint. Whoever painted this church could also be the murderer. 

The church Caretaker, Unfortunately tells The police the Church was painted by Volunteers with their own Paint and tools so he wouldn't know who they were.

Nichols is being going around in circles. The Caretaker doesn't know Will, Summer or Sam, the blonde hair Is Synthetic, the Phone on Summer was a Burner, but he has a lead, they find the car and they stripped it of it's red paint. And it's a Purple Chrysler Imperial, According to Mrs Nichols-hell, She use to drive one that belonged to Alan, as it happens!

Finding a dealership, tracking down a Purple luxury car, shouldn't be a problem. 

It's the day of funeral, and Will is distracted by a Shadowy figure who he chases after. Disturbed by this, he tells Detective Nichols about the Assault last night, he remembers the man is named Eli Phillips, a Man who lost his family birthright when his father sold it and committed Sui**de, with no way to buy his family home back, Phillips blamed Will and his family, for his misfortune. Sounds like a solid motive to me!

Delving into the Burner phone a bit more, turns out Summer was a serial Narc, who was ratting on all her Dr***ie clients and friends, so they find Eli's Cr**k den and question him then and there. 

Eli is a Paranoid St*ner, one who has a ham radio set to Police Frequencies, which is how he learned about Summer's murder in the first place, he's convinced Will did it, he's also aware of Det. Nichols' past.

Turns out, Wierd as it sounds, but there are 800 Purple Chryslers In City of Town, so it's hard work to find the perp, however They Notice in the crime photos of Summer's hand which is covered in marks that resemble bite marks. 

Summer's Friend from the pool, gives the Detectives new information at a bar, off the record, she tells them her ex husband,  Eli Phillips and Sam Gifford are D**g-dealers.

Will recants the night he found Summer. But the Detective get a call about one of his suspects doing a runner. It's Sam Gifford. At this house Nichols finds a Disturbing Statue of a Blonde topless Angel that resembles Summer being bound.

He goes to take a sample of The Effigy's hair...but then shots are Fired! Sam Escapes Armed through a window, But after being struck by a bullet, He's found dead.

Searching Sam's House, they find He**in, but it's not a victory. Nichols is taking off the case and suspended.

Eli is punching a door as it smash cuts to Tom trying to sleep as the builders are still working on his house, so it does looks and sounds like Eli is Punching the Detective's Door 

Frustrated at Tom's Suspension, The other Officers are such Good friends not to Abandoned him. At the bar, they see Will Greavy putting the Moves to Summer's best friend. 

Tom is given an Psychological Assessment to determine if he can return to work. He tells the Doctor he has a reoccurring Nightmare for years of being at a party with loved ones, only for criminals to break in and k*ll everyone, as Tom in his dream, cannot draw his gun. 

"Except, ever since I shot Gifford, In my Dream, it ends with me getting to pull the trigger. Weird, huh?"

Because of this statement and how blasé he was in saying it, there is no way in hell, he's returning to work. However the Precinct takes it well, he's given a happy send-off with balloons and cake with no dialogue, but being led to an exit, it's clear what the outcome is.

Some time later, Walter Ridge offers Tom a security job at his brewery. Active Duty Brewery is unique as Ridge hires Former police and Military as his workers.

Later at a party he even goes far to...offer a female guest.....for s*x.

The Chief has a better proposal, he wants Tom to Receive The Medal of Valour, Which Tom refuses, Before handing over his files over to Cleary. However, a photo of Summer's bite marks falls out so he pockets it, to do his own investigation out of revenge. So he bites his wife in the same manner as Summer.

As a Solace to himself, Tom needs to know if he did the right thing in k*lling Gifford. So he asks the Chief to match the Bite marks to Gifford's Dental Records. Which means an Autopsy on Gifford, and the disappointment that Gifford had a lower jaw denture-Meaning he was too weak to leave bite marks if it truly was him. And even he was, the denture will be filled with perfect, Uniform fake teeth. Which the killer did not have.

Meanwhile, Greavy shows the house where Summer died to the Limping man, now on crutches with a overdressed woman. They are, infact "Murder Voyuers"-People who have a Sexual thrill off Visiting scenes of murder. With Will's back turned, the model the Limping man hired, gets on the floor in the same position Summer's body was found, as the man takes photos, and having The Victim's partner show them around, OH BOY, Consider their Jollies Got. Timberlake gets so Angry,  he nearly showed the Appropriate Emotion!

So, is Nichols back as a cop now? I guess,  because he and Alan are at the firing range. And The MS has made it that the chief cannot aim straight. With the bite not found to be deep enough, the Evidence is proven inconclusive-So Alan just wants to close the case as Unsolved. 

Eli is watching tv,  when the news report of a car crash caused by one of the Construction crew Smuggling dr*gs catches Eli's eye when he recognises the young man from his Conspiracy Wall and then catches on the He**in Shipment is sealed with the same Christmas wrapping paper Gifford used. Later that night someone tried to break Greavy Realty but Surprise Surprise-no Cameras.

Then the Unthinkable almost happens-Eli tried to k*ll Julia Nichols, but SHE has HIM Cornered with her handgun. Eli is Arrested who wanted to turn himself in with info he has on the murder. 

Eli sings like a canary that Greavy is the mastermind all the time,  Summer was being ripped off by a company called Whitefish,  Maybe Tom should look into that.  But the only whitefish Tom knows is Whitefish Construction who worked on his house. 

As he is carted off he Blurts out Whitefish Construction is nothing more than a Front to Smuggle Dr*gs and Launder Money and the Greavies are the one's profiteering off it. During the Tirade, Eli left a USB drive of proof or maybe Paranoid ramblings. But it still needs to be addressed. 

Speaking of Addresses,  The sales of all of Summer's houses were put into Whitefish, but there is no info into what Whitefish actually is other than a Shell that hired Construction workers. One of Summer's Properties 15 Ghost Terrace was taken as a Drug Forfeiture, So the Police cannot investigate The house further, as it's being resold, By Will Greavy's mother,  Camille. 

On the phone, Driving away from Ghost Terrace,  Cleary tells Nichols Whitefish is no longer active, just a P.O box, Nichols believes he is being followed and he's right. But then he's told the P.O box address is shared with one other company-Active Duty Brewery and Consultants,  the company owned by Officer Walter Ridge. 

At the Evidence holding facility, we learn Eli has been a police informer for 15 years. The He**in is sealed with the same Christmas wrapping paper Gifford used, he wants to see the Dr*gs from the Gifford case, but someone has ordered the Dr*gs to be destroyed. Meanwhile someone has bailed out Eli out of jail, but remains anonymous. Peter the Construction worker, has joined the Nichols linedancing group the angle information for Greavy/Ridge, one would assume, Tom tells Peter not to even try it (As in, not to pretend he's not Involved!) But Peter thinks Tom meant not to try it on with his wife!

Either way, Bet Peter is glad he's wearing Dark Trousers. 

On the day the Construction Worker, Recosi caused the accident, He called a number 15 times.  When Tom calls that number, we see 3 people getting incoming calls at the same time-Will and Camille Greavy...and whoever is about to Merc Eli in his own kitchen!

The man in Eli's kitchen is Will Greavy...the Will we saw in the house, was A flashback to the night of the murder, where he was going to k*ll Summer, But the phonecall would be traced, so someone else has finished the job. Will demands Eli return whatever he Stole from his office. Another man walks in from behind.

We cut to the Next day with Ridge being Cryptic about Song lyrics, giving the audience the idea that he just k*lled Eli for Will Greavy. Sure Enough Eli is nowhere to be found. Searching the number Recosi called is tied to a Property Holdings called W6. The case is tearing apart the Nichols Marriage, as they cannot enjoy a nice dinner out at a restaurant, especially when Will Greavy turns up with his mother,  investors and Summer's best friend on his arm.

Tim goes over to talk to Will about W6, but we the Audience hear nothing. 

Not long after, Nichols meets Greavy at 15 Ghost Terrace and let's him in via a warrant. The camera pans to a large room showing us the Christmas wallpaper in the room beside. Tom calls the number of W6 Holdings and Will's phone rings out...only for Will to shoot Tom Dead!

BUT PSYCHE! ITS ALL A DREAM!

It's Alan's Birthday and Walter takes Nichols to one side and asks him why he's been avoiding him, which Tom lies to Walter and says he hasn't. Alan learns Tom is getting a medal of Valour after all, just as it seems Tom just got it in his head, that the entire precinct is corrupt, not just Walter. 

And his suspicions are confirmed when finds a White Chrysler Imperial...a White Chrysler, THAT USE TO BE PURPLE!

All this time it was his mentor, Julie's Uncle that aided and Abetted a Coverup so big, He thinks he can't even trust his wife! It's so big, Greavy has ordered an Assassin Disguised as a Police officer under the guise of a Dui charge to trail his house, as they drive with escorts behind,  Tom tells Julie the Greavies all have a hand in Drug Smuggling and Laundering the money through Greavy Realty, Whitefish and police bribery, But Summer an outsider to town, wanted none of this when she found out, so he had to die!

The Only ones at the party that are not in the loop are Cleary and Julia, With the plan now being Cleary taking up the case while Tom and Julie skip town, that's when Alan calls Tom to meet him at the Lakehouse to explain himself,  but Ridge just wants to Waste him to keep him silent,  but Alan knows Tom ain't no Cheese-Eater and that's why he brought him to Illinois to begin with. Tom will not Rat to Alan's Superior officers.

So anyway, Tom Rats to Alan's Superior Officers!

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SCENES OF MURDER 

So Tim, the Detective Tom has ratted to, meets  Alan at his house but when Tim excuses himself to use the bathroom. Alan has bad news-Tim is also on it and Tim is also a killer. A Unseen shooter kills Alan, then Tim is killed by Tom, he turns to see the body of Cleary at the bottom of the staircase, with Walter Ridge holding his gun at Tom, that's when a Frisbee knocks into the window,  distracting Ridge long enough for Tom to shoot Walter. When Tom re-emerges. Ridge is bleeding out on the floor, pleading he cannot feel his legs, but still crawling to his gun. Tom calls 911 when the children who came for the Frisbee saw it all. And now he can't decide whether to actually call in the murders.

And so the film ends with some time has past and Tom made the right decision to turn his colleagues in. with Knocking on Heaven's Door, playing out as Will Greavy is arrested by the FBI on a golf green, while the Nichols are put into Witness Protection and their fingerprints are burnt off so they are shedding their skins ....like Reptiles?

THIS FILM SUCKS!

How can something be Convoluted and Predictable at the same time?

Off the bat, I knew it was Timberlake's character who did it-And the Fakeout dream was just a pathetic double bluff, the cast was 90 percent nobodies, the Dialogue is just predictable, the pacing made this 2 hour film like an age, and it just wasn't interesting. 

If you are a popstar and you are in a film that's not a Musical, and who have all the acting skill of a damp fish, stick to dahm Musicals!

CREDITS 

Reptile was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on X)

With Media from

Reptile 

Merengi's Darkplace

New Japanese Pro Wrestling 

Bad Movie Beatdown

Police Squad 

Twilight 

NEXT TIME ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE.....

Once I return back to Ireland in 3 weeks time,  I will start work on Red Notice as I said last year in the Black Adam review, We are not Done with Rock The Dwayne and his Bottle Filling Johnson!

What better than the film that became the buzzword to the final years of The Vince McMachon lead WWE than "The Golden Egg!' Film as this year's......TICKET TO HELL!

ST PATRICK'S DAY SPECIAL 2026: Eamonn Suffers through Dick Dickman P.I.

For the past 3 years I've covered the Best my Country of Ireland has offered in film.

From the Thought Provocating...

To the Brutally Honest...

To the Hardhitting.

Not this year!

Instead we have Barry O'Neill Starring, Directing, writing...he Probably flipped the Burgers and Popped His Own popcorn on Opening Night.

I Tried to Find info and Reviews of this film. There is no Wiki page, IMDB has a commentless page where it got middle of the road ratings. And In a world where everything can be found online, for a movie not to have Wiki or Rotten Tomatoes come up as one or two on search is not a good sign.

All I remember back in 2008, I was passing the theatre in Wexford Town, where this film, in my home county was filmed. They set up a combi which played the Film trailer on a loop-5 of the biggest Paddy Potato Panto Pr**ks, and 2 washed up stars, who produced this on camcorders, Compted Hotel rooms and empty promises to Local Slapnuts Actors that they will make it big in this cheap looking Horsesh*t! The next thing I remember is the man watching the trailer beside me turned to me and said "Jaysus! That looks like Sh*te!"

THE FOLLOWING FILM IS RATED 15 FOR LANGUAGE WHICH WILL BE CENSORED,  SEXUAL INNUENDO AND SITUATIONS, DRUG PARAPHERNALIA AND VIOLENCE.

The Cover is just lazy. Obnoxious. Devoid of Story. Brendan O'Carroll's Picture looks like a Getty Images Photo. O'Neill looks like a photoshoot for the film and everyone else are headshots taken from the film, but they had to pick the worse ones. And we see what most of this film's expenses went into-a minivan painted into a Fake Chicken Shop Van.

Dvd is Just Logo and the Word play,  no extras, not even settings. Granted, recently, since dvds are a Dying Format, Main Menu screens are a lost art! Except this film was made in 2008, in the Height of the Format's power.

We open with Current Year Pop Music, As a Helicopter flies over Wexford Town. Inside is Mr Big (Patrick Bergin), putting on a Russian Accent, telling a mysterious caller that "The Shipment" will make them both wealthy men!

But as the Helicopter flies over the Bridge,  a Certain Chicken Shop Van drives by Hapless Delivery Boy/ Hapless Detective Dick Dickman (Barry O'Neill) who gets a call from his boss telling him he messed up another Delivery. In some of the Worst Editing I have seen in a long time, Dick u-turns on a concrete bridge, drives on a dirt road, knocks over Fishing Containers on A concrete Road, then falls from a wooden pallette into the water below. All this is supposed to be one series of events after the other.

Even the Asylum. THE F**KING ASYLUM! has better Editing!

So the Big Chicken is now a Wet Duck, as the Simpering Ninny Is now fired.

Wiping water and Fish guts from his face with a discarded newspaper, and loh and behold. It has a classified ad for home courses for private Detective work also claiming he can make grand a Week.

Some time later, The Man Child is woken by a postman delivering him a package. Inside is his course material: a DVD Hosted by One Frank Johnson (The Late, great Frank Carson) to teach Rubes like himself 10 steps to become a Private Detective, a corresponding cd and booklet to the dvd, a Disguise kit that not even Pistachio Disguisey would use, a Gadget Box, and a wallet for his "Badge"-Which is nothing but a Slip of Paper with enough space to write your name. Now it's time for Mr Johnson to teach you his 10 steps to becoming a master Detective.

Step One-The Clothes Maketh The Man

So His first stop is to pester the local Oxfam and  no offence to Oxfam, they do great work but two-to-one, any clothes from a charity shop came from dead people!

So one of the many Idiot card reading non-Actors Find out Dick is a private Detective. She asks If he has a gun, she'll let him know of anyone donates a gun, so for the time being she'll sell him a D***o! As the two old dears look for it, Dick Grabs at a hat on a tall cabinet-AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW WHO WON THE PONY?-but the Shelving falls on him. 

After doing the kind of "Jokes" that would rightfully get you cancelled these days, like stealing the wig off a Cancer Survivor to wear it or entering a Dressing room unannounced, In the end, Dick ends up just looking like Community Theatre Columbo.

D**king around Tesco, he talks to a Mannequin In a Tuxedo to do a crappy Sean Connery impression before being given the Bum's Rush by Security Guards. 

Step Two-The Office 

The Next step is to have a base-But if you haven't copped on by now, Temu Frank Spencer here has no Euros and Little Sense! So he elects to make his sister's shed his office after wasting a Realtor's Time as well as the viewers, because we need to fill this Sumb*tch like a Supermarket Brand Sausage! As long as he Cuts her grass every week it'll be square!

Next scene Dick goes to a Traveller's Site!

So...let's just skim over the Late Jon Kenny's scenes of him telling tired jokes about boosting Stolen goods and cheating the Social Services. Dick Buys his office furniture, as well his own car seats and car radio back. Now let's get outta here before some Anti Defamation League starts knocking on my door!

After That, Dick is playing house is the Shed when he is spied by an Angry Looking Neighbour (Joe Rooney). He puts on the Dvd to get to step 3.

Step Three-Advertising

...which Mr Johnson suggests doing him Discreetly-NOT SHOUTING THROUGH A BULLHORN LIKE DICK DOES!

So what happens next is him coming up to Some Local Slapnuts, Roped into this film,  Birdemic Style only for Mopefaced Maigret to give him his business cards, all the while The Fratellis play their one hit!

Eating Breakfast at his sisters house,  she needs to make the School so so she tells Dick "Doctor Who, Your Tardis Awaits!"

.....OK, Normie! 

"Your Lack of Knowledge In what was to be a joke at my Expense, has Backfired!"

So the Next Padding, I mean Scene, is Dick letting Joe Rooney borrow increasingly dangerous gardening equipment in something a bit more than just gardening. He's suspicious, but not enough to get off his a**e and Investigate!

OUR HERO EVERYBODY!

I Guess it's Finally time to get to the plot. As later that night, a woman comes to the Shed. Ms O'Flaterty is looking for her Brother, Fergal "Fingers" O'Flaterty, A Renowned Fiddle-Player. Despite making her cry by Suggesting Su***de, but Ms O'Flaterty is desperate, and Desperate enough to pay In Advance, He's so happy he's done with Rooney's Sh*t!

Step Four-Finding Clues 

Bundling Dinner and Himself in the van, He Drives to the bar Fergal was last seen, So he goes out to case some men in Aran Jumpers. But Dick falls for an Unwritten Rule, if someone is trying too hard to fit in with locals, they aren't, they are infact Dutch Tourists and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW WH-Wait I used that line already, Yeah Dick makes an Ass of Himself-I'll just say that from now on to save time!

The Tourists Do Say they say they heard a Rumour Fergal got involved with a Cult. Conveniently in a Another Beauty Spot In 

So he Goes to the Wooded Valley after doing Affirmations in the Wing Mirror. 

Step Five-Questioning 

The "Cult" is not even that, they are Wiccans.

A Young Wiccan, Takes Dick to see her father, The Master, as his first encounter with the "Witches" is with the kind of Tourist worker who gets a rise from scaring Rubes like him, and I'm so glad that got that on film, cause her ass is fired.

Using the Technique to complement A Woman's Perfume to put her Ease with The Master, sniffing him and his aftershave, he interrogates him or rather accuses him of Sacrificing Fergal In a Ritual off the bat, the High Priest has enough of Dick's narrow-casting. So when he accidentally asks him a question pertaining to an Errand his sister gave him ("Where Can I Find a Girl Scouts Uniform?") The Wiccan uses it against him.

Getting the hell outta Dodge, Dick drives pass a protest by the church. Turns out, it's a veritable Missing Persons Epidemic right now since the Wiccans Arrived. Many of them, Musicians and entertainers. Dick makes an Ass of Himself.

After more Aiding and Abetting Rooney this time with a Chainsaw  it's time for...

Step Six-Master of Disguise 

Mr Johnson reveals the Contents of the Disguise Box-a Santa Beard, Groucho Glasses and a Monocle.

Great for all your Infiltration Needs...if you are only Infiltrating A Santa Grotto, A Marx Brother Convention or a Period Drama!

In the End, to infiltrate the Wiccans, he uses none of them, instead posing in with the Animal worshippers in his Former Employer's Chicken Suit. 

It Doesn't work and is soon surrounded. Realizing he's outmatched and outnumbered, he runs like a Coward and in his lack of Bravery, Trips over a Violin with Fergal's name engraved into it and Stained red. We also come across a Nudist who wants to join the Cult, just because.

We cut to a Garda Station, where a Police officer Gets an Anonymous tip from someone in a boat who is filmed from behi-YEAH, NOT FOOLING ANYONE, IT'S O'NEILL IN A BLACK WIG AND SPEAKING IN HIS NATURAL VOICE! He rats out Dick as a Detective hired to protect the Cult and he has evidence that incriminates his own client.

In the shed with Ms O'Flaterty,  Sharon, he shows her the fiddle, she asks if it's his blood,  after pretending to do a CSI test with drills and kitchen utensils, lies to her that the blood is Fergal's. That's when Detectives Barnes (O'Carroll) and Devereux (Rodgers) bag the fiddle and Carts out Dick in Handcuffs as he asks where he's being taken. 

"BBC Scotland Studios.  You're the Next Cast Member in my Sh*tty Schilling Taker Show on the Beeb! (MRS BROWN LAUGH!)"

So they interrogate Dick, But he's harmless, the Worst thing is they've been investigating the Wiccans for Months, and this clown literally trips over their best lead!

While Giving some Product placement for O'Brien's Sandwich Bar (Sadly the location used has since closed down!) He listens to his CD for...

Step Seven-Reliable Sources

Detectives Need Reliable "Man on the Street" types, which Dick takes too literal when he hires some Ham dressed as a Homeless man to be his huggy bear-Then he falls in love with a Mannequin that looks Sharon-Just because! 

In a Compted Hotel Room, Barnes and Devereux tell Bishop protesting the Witches that some of his Grace's followers Broken into Wooded Valley and burnt down some Houses. The Bishop talks his way out of a charge of Incitement, just as a French maid comes in with his Grace's Breakfast, he looks down her dress whilst Pontificating about Morals

Oh No(!) The Catholic church is Full of Duplicitous Liars and Scumbags. I never knew (!)

Step Eight-Self Defence

Johnson in a Karate Gi Puts Dick through a Workout regimen, that only ends with his pajama bottoms Slipping down his waist to trip him up.

He gets a call from the Oxfam Shop after his sister picks him off the floor. Turns out, Someone was Dumb enough to Donate A REAL LIFE GUN TO A CHARITY SHOP!

It gets Worse! The Elderly Female Shopkeeper wants him to do her a favour in lieu of Payment-K*ll her Colleague with the promise of S*x!

Meanwhile in a Hotel swimming pool surrounded by Bikini models, are Mr Big and the Bishop. The Rushski tells the Clergyman to relax, the Police are too busy to find missing people when there so happens to be a Murderer on the loose.

Are you talking about Rooney? Does he work for you? How do know he has murdered when he's just started and you just arrived in Ireland days ago? In other words....

Dick has a Romantic Date with the Mannequin he Stole and makes an Ass of Himself, Rooney asks for a Shovel to "Finish the Job" Causing a fire out of nerves.

Back in Wooded Hollow, The Master Tells his daughter that in two moons time she will ascend to replace him as the Master, as the Cult's High Priestess in a Lavish Ritual. 

Step Nine-Stake outs

Still believing the Witches are Mur Diddly- Urderers, Dick does a Stakeout and while Mr Johnson teaches Cars are Great for their Anonymity,  Chicken Shop Vans with Name and phone number plastered on the side, Decidedly are Not!

Of course Dick is not Prepared in terms of Food so he gets deliveries as trash fills his passenger seat, he gets calls from the Master, who is spying back at him, who he got his number from the side of his van. But Disaster happens, too much Mineral Means he needs to do "Number one" in public, so he nearly misses a car pulling up to the Master's Cottage. But more unfunny shenanigans ensue, with a listening device, first a Van drives past that makes a loud noise (The Stock Sound of a Train No less!) and then Picks up a Gangster Radio Drama, which confuses the Detective even more in thinking the witches are evil.

So he trails the car to other local business Doing Real Work whilst Incompetent Candid Camera Commences in Coffeeshops and Colmadones. It goes nowhere only to lead to Barnes & Devereux Storm into the shed to give him a warning of the complaints against him. Dick needs to take a call, so Barnes notices the axe Covered in what he believes to be blood. he takes a sample, given Dick is supposedly on the side of "Evil Witches"

After Doing "naked Pushups" on his "Plastic Girlfriend", he reaches the Final Step of his 10 step Program

Step Ten-Back-up and Training Your Protege 

Mr Johnson Says If you made it this far, the only thing left is to Hire and train Some Competent muscle...In the form of Pete, a Handyman and his 10 year old Nephew.

Sharon has asked Dick to meet her in the Wooded Valley's Church at 9 tonight for more Information on her Brother.

HMMMMMM!

After being Fleeced out of money by the begger, Mr Big and the Bishop Meet on Hook Lighthouse, drinking Champagne with their 3rd Partner-SHARON O'FLATERTY!

(DUN DUN DUN!)

It is all a scheme to Lure a Scapegoat to his death to remove the Witches of their settlement for the trios nefarious Purposes...That is still to be revealed, we do know it involves Missing people and stolen Instruments.

Rooney Killing right under everyone's noses was just Fortuitous Circumstance...even though Mr Big knew about this? And with the Tools Supplied and Returned to Dick, Barnes and Devereux learn the samples taken are confirmed to be human. So they are ordered to Arrest Dickman.

They Stake him out just at the very moment His Sister find him with the Mannequin. So they see a silhouette of him redressing the mannequin to get rid of it and they think him and his sister are well-Sweet Home Alabama!

So When The Silhouette looks like he's just strangled and Dumping the body,  Since he heading to the Wooded Valley,  The Gards Tail him.

Set up to be Sacrificed by the Bishop Disguised as The Master,  it's broken up when Devereux sees it through a window and shouts at the scene. It's a wild chase, with Dickman chasing who he believes to be a Wiccan who kidnapped Sharon, being chased by The Detectives who believe they are chasing two Murderers.

So Let's End this Farce

Dickman calls Pete the Handyman as his backup, The Mannequin escapes the back of the van, the Gards believing she is Dick's sister, they Swerve to avoid her but still crash. When they find out what "She" is they Assume Dick is smarter than he let's on.

He isn't as he runs out of fuel-Thankfully Peter is here with his moped. They Find out what the Villians' evil scheme is when they open a Crate at a Dock-they Find a Fiddle band and the late Great Brendan Grace-They are Smuggling Irish Culture to the Highest Bidder.

GET IT?

They are "CRAIC-Smugglers"

And In what can be considered tone deaf now 20 years after The Polish Disporia Ireland was part of, we have a non Eastern European Actor in a Fake Accent claiming "This is Our Country now!"

I'm sure this wasn't Barry O'Neill's Intention, But there was no real Future Proofing in this Film. 

Sharon reveals he was Fergal in Drag and a convincing plastic mask, Egghorn is Finkell, Finkell is Egghorn, Pete Faints when Thugs Arrive and they Punch Dick out after he makes Bruce Lee noises. 

He wakes tied to the mast of a boat with Fergal about to k*ll him, as the Wiccans perform their Ritual, Dick Escapes the ropes, and the Master's Daughter gets a Vision of Dick's Predicament,  and in the most Literal use of Deus Ex Machina, Conjures a Lightning bolt to Save Dick and Fry Fergal, Mr Big is arrested for Smuggling and Kidnapping,  Joe Rooney's character (WHICH WAS NEVER NAMED!) Is arrested for Murder, and for one last time, In a celebration for him with some poor Irish Dancing School Roped in for Publicity, Dick makes an Ass himself, followed by a Credit song warning about how crap Dick is as a Detective, as the smallest text crawl ascends. So you had to squint to see if you were even credited In this crap as an extra.

IN THE LONGEST REVIEW TO DATE-I CAN TELL YOU IN THREE WORDS WHAT TOOK ME 5 DAYS TO WATCH AND DRAFT:

THIS FILM SUCKS!

In the Drafting Process of this film,  like every single post before it, is Written on paper. Every single detail, with parts not important dropped by me if that is not conducive to the end plot. However 10 A4 pages were Sacrificed to cover all the Stupidity In this 90 minute ordeal-None of the Film was cut out. NONE. IT HAD TO BE HERE. Every Prat fall, Every Glazed Over look, every Cringe Comment, lead to the next plot Point.

This Film Production felt like British indie Wrestling From the "Hey Kids! Let's put on a Show!" Era of the 2000s, The Film itself feels like A Saturday Morning Show Skit with Swearing because that what makes something for Adults right?-F-BOMBS AND B**BIES!

The Jokes are Stolen from Benny Hill, The Soundtrack makes no Sense, The Film Quality and Sound mixing feels like they really did just Pull out Camcorders while Barry's Mate rates were convinced to do this film whilst on Holiday.

As for the "Stars"-Barry O'Neill Is So irritating,  I'm surprised noone attempted to swing at him for filming real people. Brendan O'Carroll is Brendan O'Carroll, in and out of the dress, and his mate Rate, June Rodgers, character is "Fat Person Who Eats All The Time, Because They're Fat!" And there is also a Big Plothole-Who was the informant who set up Dick to the Gards? Was there going to be a Tired "Evil Twin" Plot in this film or-GOD FORBID! A Sequel?

The world may Never know-Because Noone was Stupid Enough to Ask!

CREDITS 

Dick Dickman,  PI was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on X)

With Media from:

The Quiet Girl

Belfast

Kneecap

Dick Dickman Pi

MST3K 

BBC Sport

The Big Bang Theory 

The Simpsons 

Dragon Ball Z  and Dragon Ball Abridged 

Star Wars Episode 6 Return of the Jedi

Cody Ko's YouTube channel 

Uma Musume: Pretty Derby

Dick Dickman PI was Produced By 1 Step Back Productions and Distributed by Beaumex

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE-YOU DECIDE!

It's time to reopen the Poll on my X account. Here are your choices 

Cassandra Episodes 4 to 6

Last year's Halloween special will be this year's unless of course you can't wait that long

Infinity Pool

Still stuck on The Polling station Is Baby Cronenburg's Holiday from Hell.

Madame Web.

I did a best of last year let's keep it going with the Worst Spiderless Spiderverse Movie.

And finally 

New to Netflix, Crap Happens. A German Rapper who has being chasing the dream for too long, returns to his home town for his mother's funeral, only to discover a son he never knew about!

Work on the review will start one week after the posting of this review. If you wish to vote on here do so by adding a comment below and each comment will count as a vote on X! On the off chance that this poll gets no votes, and it does happen, The default will be Infinity Pool, with Cassandra being the Halloween Special again!

   

BEST OF 2025: Eamonn Reviews K-Pop Demon Hunters

Let's talk about last year, (at Time of Writing) 2025

America Did a Stupid...Again!

Horsegirls Invaded Every Corner of the Internet and came for your Wallet!

The French Swept the Game Awards as their Former Bosses at Ubisoft had to look on Seething!

And one of the best films of last year was, and is consistently in Netflix's Top Ten, and will be Nominated for the Oscars in 2 months time.

Yes, Umamusume got more Exposure, but the fact they didn't dub It, may have Given KDH a bigger push, and may have helped Netflix to Assimilate Warner Bros into the App, For Good and Bad Down the Road.

I've being wanting to do this review for a long time, that I even made a poll on months I'm not reviewing Wrestling for Interaction, thinking I will have it done when the Hype was it's Highest. 

Well The Hype Hasn't Exactly Gone Down!

It's had A Karaoke Cut made, had it's Songs Golden and my Little Soda Pop played on Normie Radio Stations and it's Songs were performed on Ireland's biggest show of the year, The Late Late Show. 

So let's not wait any longer, Let's dig into K-pop Demon Hunters!

THE FOLLOWING FILM IS RATED PG FOR COMIC VIOLENCE, INNUENDO AND FRIGHTENENING SCENES. THIS REVIEW IS INTENDED FOR AN ADULT AUDIENCE. 

We open in Seoul, During a Concert, as the Crowd has whipped themselves into a fever pitch, chanting for the "Huntrix"! As they appear in clouds of Dry Ice, A Female Voice tells them that though the world sees them as Popstars, they are infact Demon Hunters. 

"Like Thome Kinda K-POP Demon Hunterth, if you Willllll!"

We are told that Since Time Immemorial, Demons have Breached Korea to Steal Souls to Syphon them back to their king, Gwi Ma, However 3 young Maidens versed in Both the Martial and Classical Arts, used their weapons to fight and their voices to strengthen the souls of the people and with that energy, it created a shield to Bind the Demons, The HonMoon.

Generations pass, Fashions Change, Korea Adapted to the World it's own way, but with one Constant-A trio of Female Singers Keeping the Harmony and Peace with their Music, and this is the result, the soon to be Golden and Galvanized HonMoon and now it's time for Selene to train Hunters to Adapt to the New Century with New Hunters-The Band Known as The Huntrix 

We are given the names and Backstory of the girls- The Moody Goth GF Mira, The Cute but Psycho Korean-American Zoey and the main Singer Rumi, Who's mother Died when she was a Baby, but she was raised by her Aunt, and mother's Bandmate, Selene who were in the band of Hunters in the eighties and is the Watcher to the Huntrix's Slayer, if that makes sense. This is their Final Concert before their break, But there is a Problem, the Plane hasn't landed yet!

Unaware During their Snack Buffet On Board, the Huntrix Get a call From Bobby, their Manager, when they look out the Window and see The Plane Flying away from the Concert Site, the shoe finally drops.

Pilots Flying to Different Locations?

Incompetent Staff?

Violence On Board?

I Know what happened

THEY BOOKED A RYANAIR FLIGHT!

No of course not, the plane had being taken over by shapeshifting demons, the stewardess denies it, but Demons have Purple Tribal tattoos on their arms as a tell (PLOT POINT!). They battle the demons during a song that manifests their weapons and they destroy all but 2 in a rhythm game style combat, the Plane splits in half as the stewardess demon escapes holding on to the nose cone. The huntrix dives from the plane and improvises it as an Entrance, the crowd none the wiser when they are rubbing shoulders with things that want to eat their souls. The Song ends, Demon slain, the HunMoon Is Strengthened, Demons are sealed, Title Drop!

In the Underworld, the Demon Air Hostess returns to beg for her life, but instead Burns her to ash with his flaming Body. the King of Demons Tells his Army if the HunMoon becomes Golden, It is the end of them! 

That's when a Cloaked Demon Playing a Biwa Floats Towards the King's Alter with a white tiger by his side, all the while Jinu is singing a song to mock his Master. King Gwi Ma is Angered by this display of insubordination, especially when the King choose to spare Jinu's ability to speak. But Jinu with 4 more demons in tow has a plan: they will Go to Earth, posing as a Boyband, turn the fans away from the huntrix, and weaken the HunMoon. The 5 Then Pose and make a Auto-tuned Do-wop sound when they do, as Gwi Ma laughs at the idea of a demon Boy band, until the 4 other uses Glamour to make themselves as Handsome as Jinu as the demons look on in Agreement. However Gwi Ma wants to know why Jinu, his most Self-centred Underling is offering help now, what does he want, Jinu says His price is Gwi Ma has to finally Erase his Painful Memories of his human life, as we get flashes of a girl crying being held back!

Despite Rumi Having a Suspicious Cough, The concert is a Big Success, They Notice the HonMoon is nearly Golden, So Zoey and Mira want to release THAT SONG When they come back from their 2 week break! And when that Song is released the HunMoon can be Golden until the next Generation.

But, Rumi for reasons that will be explained, has Launched the teaser for the Song-Golden right now, just as the others Planned on Crashing for 2 weeks!

And You are Probably Sick of Hearing Golden All Year, But the Song is Good and it's animated beautifully. I would not be surprised if it's in the Oscar Concert for Best Original Song in March.

But there is a Shocking Swerve!

Rumi is a Demon all along!

No really. This Caught me off Guard! And seeing That Rumi only ever wore Jackets with Long Sleeves in her Introduction scenes (And I had to rewatch to see if they made a mistake and shown exposed arms but no, I Didn't notice and my Foreshadowing sense didn't go off!)

And During the Practice Run, Rumi's Cough gets Worse, weakening The Lead Singer's Voice and Breaking her Confidence. They are about to go Live in 10 minutes and Rumi wants to take 5, With 10'000 fans about to rip off the door outside?

As Rumi Bails Under the Pressure, Selene Put her under and she chose to carry, we get a flashback of her childhood, Turns out Rumi is a Half-breed, as her Father was a demon, and her parentage was made a Secret as Selene is the only one that knows, Training her Adoptive Daughter to be like this world's Blade or Dante, if that makes Sense, Telling her at a young age that once the the HonMoon is Golden all Half breeds will have their Marks removed by Purifying magic, But Selene made one Mistake-NOT TELLING THE OTHERS! And Now all this pressure and self Doubt Rumi has inside her Has Manifested itself as Demonic Energy that ripples throughout the HonMoon!

So, Despite No-Showing the Appearance, Zoey and Mira are Supportive of Rumi, Making her Soup after assuming a Cold, However Bobby Cannot Handle the Droves of Disappointment fans in the Studio, they want to tell Selene,  But Zoey quotes the Hunter's Vow.

"We are Hunters. Voices Supreme. Faults and Fears are Always Unseen!"

They want to skip the Idol Awards, But Rumi slips that "She" was close to the Mission being over, not "They". But the girls want to help Rumi get her voice back in time for the Idol Awards in two weeks time.

So Zoey has learned of a Backstreet Clinic Purportedly that sells a Cure-all Potion as they go there incognito into town, all the while,  a free Concert for The "Saja Boys" is Advertised. 

Despite being a Scam Doctor with Photoshopped Photos of Celebrities as clients, Dr Han does see Something Wrong with Rumi, Claiming her voice is going because She has walled and Isolated All Parts of herself. 

"And to understand what's wrong with a part you must understand the Whole!"

The Band leave with Tonics after Dr Han psychoanalyses all three, that's when they bump into 4 Fashionably Dressed, Impossibly Handsome Teen Boys, Mira and Zoey lose their minds over Definitely not the Demon Boyband! But in the back is Jinu in Human Form and Rumi does react as they walk past bumping into her softly she literally falls head over heels, her box of Tonics falling on the street around her. He extends his hand towards her, then curls it back towards himself to dust his shirt...he knows they are Enemies, after all!

That's when they see they are Saja Boys, who perform there Live Song Soda Pop and they show up the girls with no problem,  stealing one of the potions to use as a prop. But something is wrong they are using Magic to manifest Edit cuts and Transitions in real time,  never mind how Strangely Catchy the Song is, Causing the Angry Huntrix to Still Dance, but they catch it for just a Second, A Demon Mark. 

But the Girls are Confused. If the plan is to lure Humans like Cattle for their Souls, Why Not Just Attack Now, Not that they could do anything about the Demons now, while in public and not in the context of a concert to cover it up. So when the Saja Boys do acts of kindness, the Huntrix destroys the gifts falling for the trap of breaking the Public's Trust.

During one of those Content Farm Hot Sauce Drinking Slop videos hosted by a Lolcow dressed in a nappy, we learn Jinu's bandmates names: The Muscleman Is Abby, The Floppy Fringe is Mystery, the Pink haired one is Romance and the small one is Baby. At the Same time, Decked In leather and armed with weapons, the girls plan to ambush the Saja Boys when they leave the stage, But Jinu spots the girls and turns the tables on them, announcing them as Special Guests. Forced to Slide into a ball pit, they share False Pleasantries and try to outbow each other.

Distracted they fall into Another trap when they follow the Saja Boys into a Bathhouse.

Girls, have you Never watch Any Tokusatsu? This is where chasing the villains lead you into the Quarry for you to fight The Putty Patrol!

And Sure Enough, the Hot Tubs are Filled with water demons. As the girls fight Rumi chases off after Jinu, as Cracks in the HunMoon Summons more water demons, in their fight, Jinu slashes Rumi's Jacket sleeve and sees her Mark. The wall separating both fights breaks with Mira and Zoey screaming for Rumi. In the scant few seconds it took the girls to turn their heads (This was filmed in Slow Motion), Jinu Hugs Rumi, Fastens a Tourniquet over the tear and pushes her away towards the others this was filmed at 1x speed!

Rumi gets her act together as the demons are Slain-Well, All but one, as one in hiding steals the soul of a bather. 

Jinu has no time to figure out this revelation when he is recalled to the Underworld, and sees a Rave of Demons celebrating the Stolen Souls Feeding King Gwi Ma. Gwi Ma, learning of Rumi's lineage, tells Jinu he cannot extend his influence to her. But Jinu has plans to use her Shame to weaken the Huntrix's Band

From Their Apartment, The Girls can see Suburb size rifts in the HonMoon. As Bobby speeds in worried by The Saja Boys Sudden and Overwhelming Popularity. As Bobby is not trained in the way of Magic, he looks out at Seoul and says it's not "The End of the World "- even though the Girls See Different.

But Rumi Decides that if this is war for hearts and minds, so be it! She wants Zoey to write Scathing Lyrics, Mira to Create Harsh Costumes and Badass Choreography. The Gloves are off at the Icon Awards where they will drop the Diss track of the Century!

So finally the brick Joke is revealed that Dr Han's Tonic is just juice. Looking at the Tourniquet on her bed, she can't shake that Jinu might be Different from every Demon she ever Slain. That's when she is visited by Jinu's 3 eyed Demon magpie and his white tiger which is in fact, a Stone Statue bought to life.

They deliver a message from their Master for her to meet him. She arrives at temple for round 2, But he had the high Ground, Leverage: Blackmail. 

He says demons attack out of Shame of their existence. That's how Gwi Ma Controls them by Constantly Screaming Demands into their ears. Rumi asks what is he on about when she confirms not to he able to hear the Demon King.

That's when Jinu tells his story, he was a pauper with a Mother and Sister, with only a biwa to this name. He tried to make with his singing but has was denied, and was made the Perfect prey for King Gwi Ma and his Faustian Bargains.

Soon Jinu's Family was living at the Palace grounds, Jinu's voice providing the Wealth and Comfort which once alluded them, but it came at a price-His Humanity. The Demon Mark spread all over his body, Condemning his soul forever. And causing his family to be evicted worse off than they were before. With the shame of his failure tying him to Gwi Ma's will for 400 years. Again Rumi says she is nothing like Jinu. But Jinu Gets it-he Denied what he was at first too! But he will be here if she wants to talk about it, after all, He's the only one who understands! Rumi swings her sword but it's too late, He's Already Gone

The Girls Struggle to Write Lyrics, Until Mira says 'Takedown" and Rumi works from there.  We get a Montage set to Takedown, The Saja Boys winning number 1, The Huntrix Get the spot a week later, The Girls fighting off demons, but Rumi has doubts and doesn't help Jinu doesn't take no for an Answer.

It also doesn't help that Bobby is now managing both The Girls and The Saja Boys, after all he is a Music Manager and Money is Money, as the Saja Boys are his surprise during a now Double Signing Event, Rumi is Angered that half the fans means half the Energy for the HonMoon, so she decides to share the table with the boys. 

Tensions Grow Especially when Jinu Susses out she hasn't told the others of her Marks. However the whispering between each other had not gone unnoticed as a fan wearing a Jinmi (the ship between Jinu and Rumi) T-shirt takes photos. Rumi steps on Jinu's foot when he mentions her Patterns, she hates her patterns, she hates Demons, she hates Gwi Ma. Jinu Smirks and says if hate was enough to kill Demons, they would be dead!

They are interrupted by a Young Girl who drew a Picture of Jinu and he doesn't know how to react to such Innocence, with Rumi Having the final word saying maybe instead of listening to Gwi Ma's Words you should instead listen to the people.

Being Soulless Jerks, The other Demons Trash their Flowers and Gifts, However Jinu looks at the Little Girl's Picture and it's him Drawn as an Angel. Reading the Caption "You have a Beautiful Soul" really Punches him in the Gut.

Rumi may not want to see Jinu, but she does feel Comfortable having his familiars Around, She's Trying hard to write Diss-Tracks but they comes off as Sympathetic. She gets a knock on the bedroom door and tells the Tiger and Magpie to teleport out of here, not realizing in her panic, she's Toppled over a Waste Bin full of Lyrics.

While Dealing with both Tiger stealing the bin and with Mira, The harsh one of the group comes out and says it-"What's wrong with you?" She's hiding something from the others. Rumi denies it of course, but Mira can't shake it! 

Meanwhile The demons are now getting Arrogant with their Attacks not only stealing souls, But Kidnapping people as the Missing Person Count rises.

So Rumi and Jinu Meet again, but on Rumi's terms. She had a Proposal for him: You want your freedom so badly? Sabotage your Boys at the Idol Awards.  The HonMoon can be restored, made golden and every Demon still on Earth can be purified. He says he's too far gone, But Rumi says he was just a man who wanted to save his family,  Not like her: The Daughter of a Hunter and Demon Father. No she was, from the day she was born, a Mistake.

Before it gets too dark, they are interrupted by a Peddler who sells Couple's bracelets. They deny they are a couple, with The old woman getting angry with Jinu for not ponying up the money for the bracelet, which she Gifts to Rumi for free after calling him hopeless. Jinu agrees when the Peddler leaves. But Rumi says this 'That's the thing about Hope. Nobody decides if you feel it, that choice belongs to you" She walks off thinking he is a lost cause, he Grabs her hand to take the bracelet, telling herself he doesn't think she's a mistake, then they leave awkwardly. 

The Pressure and demand on the Huntrix is starting to make them crack. Rumi cannot handle the hatefulness of the Lyrics.  Mira tells them the Idol Awards are Tomorrow-they have No More Time. Rumi says she just cannot bring himself to sing Takedown. But Before they can get an answer, Demon energy ripple across the HonMoon and they Disappear much to Bobby's Consirnation. He gets an ad for the Saja Boys on his phone and it brainwashed him with it's music.

The demons Arrack a train and the Huntrix fight and bicker amongst themselves on top. As the train chugs over a tear in reality, a whole army of Mannequins fall out, crawling on themselves and everywhere. Singing Takedown Rumi's Confidence Falters at the worst time,  the demons cover the whole train.  We see some passengers inside. When the attack is over: No one was Spared!

With there First real Failure,  Mira telks Rumi they must Win. Zoey, the first time we see her actually Downbeat,  Reminds Rumi they can't do it without their lead singer to seal the demons, But she doesn't know why she us like this now. 

In Another Clandestine Meeting, Rumi tells Jinu, her voice has being Better since these meetings,  and in a song, the lyrics insinuate that it's not her voice that's the problem, it's the Purpose behind the voice that's being giving Her issues,  the Song is shared that they conspire to free each other. 

After the song, Gwi Ma quickly recalls his Traitor. The Omnipresent Demon King reveals  Jinu didn't tell Rumi the Full Story, The Emperor didn't kick out His family from the palace, Jinu did for his own gain. Gwi Ma still has the leverage with the knowledge the Truth of what he Really Is!

Riding the White Tiger over the Seoul Skyline, Rumi Comptemplates her Navel over her mission and her life up to this point. So it's time to do what is going to be hard for here....except the others had the same idea, Hunter's Vow be dammed,  they are talking about their Faults and Fears Always Unseen. But while the others talk about theirs, (Mira's Anger Issues and Zoey's Fear of Abandonment due to not being "Half A Korean") However, Rumi seems to still be betting solely on the HonMoon Turning Golden Tonight at the Idol Awards when she says she'll come to the Bathhouse with the others "When it's all over" hoping to tell them then. 

And So the Plan of the Demon King is revealed, when Korean Not-Ryan Seacrest tells the viewers the Idol Awards are Determined by Public Vote. The Saja Boys were to Perform first, but Bobby has just seen them get into a fight amongst each other, So the Huntrix are up first with Rumi's Voice and Confidence back, during her Solo, the Girls see Demons kidnap Bobby, but it's a Trap by shapeshifters. The girls cannot make it back in time for their Spots. So the lights go out and Blasting over the PA system is the opening to Takedown, Courtesy of a Stolen Wastebin of Lyrics, with no choice Rumi HAS to Sing and Dance with "Mira" and 'Zoey" until they start singing the hateful lyrics at Rumi and tear off her jacket exposing the Patterns to the World. The Spiteful Act and Unpleasant Song makes the Crowd as angry as the Time Miley Cyrus Sang Smells like Teen Spirit In Seattle! Because of this Gwi Ma's influence extends to her causing the Patterns to spread over her body, Causing her to lash out in public. She sees the real Girls, but it's too late, the damage is done, the Trust is broken. The Mission is a Failure, Mira and Zoey raise their weapons to now their former Comrade-In-Arms. She runs into Jinu who reveals what he told her was a lie, he had the chance to tell the truth, But he cannot be saved, Demons are nothing more than Hate and Spite-There is nothing good inside them, when Rumi argued, the HonMoon Cracks further, Then falls completely as A slowed down depressing version of Golden plays. With the HonMoon Gone Gwi Ma can prey on everyone's minds not just with his ads. Bobby, Rumi and Zoey are targeted through their Fears by Gwi Ma's Words, Their eyes Glazed over as they join the Herd of brainwashed fans walking to the arena to practically Feed themselves to the Demon King. 

At a Ceremonial Tree Selene is praying when Rumi creeps up behind her Aunt with her Sword,  instead of attacking, she begs Selene to put "This Mistake" Out of her Misery

Selene can't Bring herself to Kill Rumi, But she's still in Denial. This sends Rumi off the Deep End.

So let's Wrap This up.

All of Seoul Mindlessly Gives themselves to Gwi Ma, in a Free Concert in the stadium, so the Saja Boys cannot help themselves but sing a song to celebrate. That's when Rumi appears in the aisle walking towards the Stage after Gwi ma Ascended, he taunts her with the fact thanks her Shame The HonMoon is Destroyed.  And she says yes he is right about that.

So I guess she just has to make a new one!

Singing a new song about accepting the truth, it loosens Zoey's and Mira's mind and they start singing and walking towards The stage too, Gwi Ma orders waves of his Army to protect him, but they all fail. As the Song Rocks and the Demon heads Roll, more people free themselves from Brainwashing, the Huntrix converge into a hug, and it makes a new HonMoon, one nearly Golden. All but Jinu attacks the girls. Gwi Ma Blasts flames at Rumi, but Jinu sacrifices himself, His soul returning to him, and now it'll be part of Rumi, transferring to her blade giving her the strength to cut literal Mesphistopheles in Half,  reforms himself, but Before he can go second form in this Boss Battle, the entire arena with their souls glowing inside their chests join in the song, making the new HonMoon Golden. Zoey Slays Mystery, Mira Slays Abby and the golden HonMoon drives Gwi Ma and his forces back to the Underworld, the magical Blowback causing the Huntrix to Float over the crowd as they cheer.

And so the Story Ends with all three in the Bathhouse, they celebrate a job well done, the Saja Boys merchandise fills the bins. And the Girls want to have their 3 month Hiatus, But seeing some young Fans, they surprise them. However The Demon Magpie flies past them to land on White Tiger who is sitting on a billboard for the Huntrix's new album, revealing that Rumi's pattern are Now Golden and she can turn them on at will, (would be nice if they showed not told) so their are still demons coming to this world thankfully, they are no threat.

THIS FILM IS GREAT!

Bought to you by the Sony animation team behind the Spiderverse films and the Upcoming Goat. of course the Animation is going to be excellent and Beautiful, relying on expression, colour and Shadow, only to be complimented  by a great Original Soundtrack, that was blasted on Radio stations. The film's message is what wins the day. It's themes of Identity, Shame, Acceptance and finding the will to move on when all seems lost, is presented in a way everyone can understand. The Idea of using All Korean or Korean American Actors helped with identity (Though Thankfully They Kept Ken Cheong solely in cameo role as Dr Han) speaking of Identity, In a Western Animation era where everyone just makes Tributes and Patishes to Manga and cultural nods to Japan, The use of Korean Demons and Iconography, Though similar, is also a great Source for World Building and Creature Design.

Is the Film's Ending Open for Sequal Baiting? Absolutely! The Demon Magic and Stone Tiger in our world is proof that demons are still on this world, and Remember, Gwi Ma, Baby and Romance are not dead, but sealed...and so is a still innumerable Army of demons! But as for a Sequel happening soon? You will have to wait til the Hype goes down, and like I said above, that haven't even Started yet!

CREDITS 

Kpop Demon Hunters was Reviewed Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham.With Media from:

ABC (Austrailia) News

Uma Musume: Pretty Derby

Clair Obscura: Expedition 33

K-Pop Demon Hunters

World Championship Wrestling

Robot Chicken

Scott Pilgrim Vs the World

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

All Rights Reserved. All Media Used Belong to their respective Owners.

K-Pop Demon Hunters and their Soundtrack belong to Sony Entertainment and Sony Music, With It's Movie Co-Produced For Netflix!

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE.

Since next month is March, it's custom for this Irish Based Site to cover Something Irish, and BOY DO I HAVE SOMETHING HOKEY, PADDY AND AWFUL FOR YOU! AND ONE THAT HITS CLOSE TO HOME! NEXT MONTH WE SEE BRENDAN O'CARROLL AND HIS PADDY POTATO PANTO PALS, ACT LIKE J**K-OFFS IN THE HOTELS AND BEAUTY SPOTS IN MY HOME COUNTY OF WEXFORD, IN DICK DICKMAN, PRIVATE EYE!