THE 300TH POST: TICKET TO HELL: BLACK ADAM PART 2 (REMASTERED)

THE FOLLOWING POST IS A CONTINUED REVIEW FROM LAST MONTH, OF A 12 RATED FILM WITH SCENES OF VIOLENCE,  SYSTEMIC SLAVERY,  INJURY DETAIL, AND MURDER. CERTAIN WORDS WILL BE EDITED BEYOND THIS POINT.  DISCRETION IS ADVISED. 

 To continue where we left off, 

Black Adam( Rock The Dwayne)and Carter Hall/ Hawkman (Alvis Hodge) fight in Arianna's Destroyed Flat, and Carter, you're only five feet away from him, you don't need to fly at him all the time, you can just run at him!

All the while Black Adam destroys Amon's bedroom,  Making the viewer take Extra notice that they are Destroying Justice League posters

Adam Punches a cabinet and rears back in pain. Inside the Now Former Furniture is the Crown of McGuffin. 

One.

When did Amon have time to hide the Crown in his room, in the time it took to walk in, see Ishmael shoot Kareem and ran completely out the flat before he was Kidnapped?

Two.

I thought Black Adam could just zap away the wounds caused by Eternium, or is this a new trope?

WEAKNESS as the Plot Demands?

In the JSA Jet,  they all try and decipher what the crown's riddle means.  They ignore it because Arianna wants to Barter the Crown for Amon's safe return. So that means the JSA and Black Adam must work together. 

Dr Kent Nelson/Dr Fate (Pierce Brosnan) confronts Hawkman about Black Adam, with Carter worried the boy could die if Black Adam goes into business for himself. When Kent says Life and Death is, Quote, "Up to Fate", Carter Susses from that , that Dr Nelson saw a vision of someone's death. Carter's first thought is Atom Smasher,  given he's an idiot! So after he answers "Surprisingly,  No!", he says his goodbyes to Hall, as he may not have a chance ever again,  but Fate tells him it's still time to change!

BUT NEVER MIND THAT S**T!

Let's have Johnson hot dog and grandstand whilst a Disgrace of a Human being like Kanye West Still gets rich from Music Royalties!

But Mr Fishsticks is cut off when Black Adam flies into Ishmael's Shield Generator-powered by lines upon lines of Eternium. 

Arianna's Gives the Crown to Ishmael,  who really is the villain we have being leading up to, For Ishmael is the last living Descendant of King Ak-tum. As he puts on the crown he says the Proverb on it with the Nouns reversed (he says in Arabic, "Death is the only path to Life") causing magical energy to build up around him. And it's a good thing everyone said the phrase In English, otherwise this film would have ended sooner.

After a Ridiculous slow motion sequence where everyone screams or shouts "Nooooo!" with quick cuts every 2 seconds. Power from the crown explodes with Hawkman shielding Arianna with his wings, Fate Shielding a prone Amon with his magic, and Atom Smasher with his giant body protects Cyclone. Black Adam is alive, but Ishmael and the crown are nowhere to be seen. Amon was not wounded by stray bullets, but by Black Adam's own lightning,  and he blames himself for his injuries. 

I spoke too soon, Atom Smasher finds Ishmael, but the Halal Ham-actor is now served Extra Crispy, as the crown has melted into his Skeletal Remains. 

AND I'M SURE WE'LL NEVER SEE ISHMAEL AGAIN!

Hawkman confronts Black Adam once again, this time over a name Ishmael said that upsets Black Adam "Harut".

Harut was his timeline's version of Little Dumbass, when he was Tehtadam's son, and the true champion of the Wizards' Council, he tells his side of the story, Harut was a great champion, but like Shazam, he was a Naive boy in the body of a man, so Ak-tum killed Harut's Mother and would have killed Tehtadam, if not for Harut giving his father the power. And at that moment, Harut was Assassinated by Ak-tum's archers.

Losing Everything,  Black Adam went on an unstoppable rampage of revenge, killing everyone, so that's the truth of the statue of Thetadam: It's not his Statue: it's Harut's. Five milliena is a long enough time to realize this power is not a gift, but a Curse.  One that only hurts people. So Black Adam says "Shazam" and tells agent Hall on no circumstances permit him to say that word again. 

Thetadam is taken to a top secret holding facility somewhere, submerged in the Artic ocean by the Justice Society of America's Jet. 

Taken by Task Force X, Tehtadam is Processed, Shackled, put in cyrosleep and attached to a breathing tube.  Given that Thetadam has surrendered and Ishmael is dead, they could have just finished it here with all the loose ends tied up.

OH, YOU WISH THIS WAS FINISHED! 

While Atom Smasher and Cyclone babysit a now recovered Amon with a Dress up Cape (I'm pretty sure he's at least old enough to be at Eye level to the Top shelf magazines,  he's at least old enough to know what Fasc*sm Is!) We see Ishmael's bodybag, glowing with the same lightning controlled by Black Adam. In the cockpit of the Jet, Kent is still dreaming of Hawkman's death, he wakes from it, on Hawkman's distress. Kent tells Carter that he believes Hawkman is still going to die. 

Carter says he doesn't fear dying. 

He COULD have mentioned his powers/Curse meant he's died too often, and Kent would've said something like "You're too Valuable!' Or "The World can't wait for a new Hawkman to be born!' But no, DC makes comic book films for comic book fans and if they don't flat out tell you back story, it implied! AND IT'S REALLY BLOODY ANNOYING!

Kent tells Carter of his childhood during the Blitz Era in London, how he felt no pride in Seeing the Soldiers parade on deployment, he never cheered or waved a flag, he knew at a young age they were going to die, they were Soldiers. And it's a Soldier mentality to give his life for a greater good.

FORESHADOWING!

In the Ship's Computer Room, Arianna and Cyclone are puzzled to why Ishmael read the Proverb on the crown wrong.  Then they realize the Ancient Kandaqi have symbols like Kanji that be read upside down and still make sense, but the Symbol for Life looks like the symbol for Death when Inverted.  In other words,  THEY have been reading it wrong! And by reading it correctly,  Ishmael purposely died so his soul could be sent to the Rock of Finality (SURE! LET'S GO WITH THAT!), To make a Contract with the demons of the crown of Sabbac, like Black Adam, Ishmael invokes Sabbac's name so he can use Ishmael's corpse as a conduit to become the Demon Champion, SabbaAHAHAHAHA!

Ladies and Gentlemen, our Film's big Bad, The Crispy Cretin!

So Sabbac is just Yet another Pound Shop Superman with Demon Fire added for extra flavour. Despite the JSA holding their own, The writers are still treating Sabbac as the thing we were being lead up to. Sabbac's goal is to sit on the Throne in the Palace, therefore gaining his true powers, So Hawkman, Cyclone and Atom Smasher ascend the Palace's Staircase, only to be reflected by Dr Fate's Forcefield, he has found a way to prevent Carter's Death, by Sacrificing himself. Kent says he's lived a full life, and wants his team to do the same on his memory. 

That's all great and all, but Now the film has Shown it doesn't understand Dr Fate, Either.

The Helm of Naboo, Puppets It's Wearer(s) by Granting it his powers. When the current Dr Fate Dies, That Wearer's Body is teleported, body and soul til the end of time to a pocket Dimension where the Lords of Order reside,  leaving a Helm, that once unclaimed flew throughout the universe, killing well meaning Do-gooders and would be villains for not being worthy,  til Naboo had to be reasoned with by Kent's Ghost. So if this was lore accurate Dr Fate who died, not only would the people have to deal with Literal Satan, but also contend with a Judgemental self aware Holy Relic killing innocent people for being rightfully scared to fight!

Despite using every trick in the spellbook, Dr Fate telepathically reaches out to Tehtadam, freeing him from cyrosleep.  As Task Force X Soldiers Try to contain him, Dr Fate tells the world is not Black and White anymore,  the world doesn't need a white Knight, it needs  something....Darker.

Tehtadam shows his "Growth" and "Character Development" by only killing one jobber. As Black Adam swims to escape his submerged underwater Prison, Sabbac Punches a hole through Kent's chest, his lifeforce entering the helmet as his body turns to ash to enter the helmet, which as it falls, Sabbac kicks it away with angered annoyance. As he claims the Throne he summons the Legion of Hell....aka Stock Monsters from a Terrible Mobile Game!

Hey, Do you want to know how to make an Audience scoff at the Threat by a Villian?

You make the Comic Relief save the day by grand Entrance with a love Song blaring on the radio of his Volkswagen which he uses to run over Zombies and crack jokes about it!

Seriously 3 Superheroes can't Fight Sabbac Directly, but a fat man armed with a Hippy Wagon and a length of Pipe can smack around Zombies with armour and Swords? 

Drowning in the Artic Ocean, Black Adam believes it's his time, as he Sees his wife and Harut in a near death experience. But since a Near Death Experience is nothing more than Our Brain telling us to die or Not, OF COURSE, THE EGOTIST PLAYED BY ANOTHER EGOTIST Would imagine his family telling him he can do more!

Back in Kandaq, Amon finds Citizens in Fear, and like Harut centuries before, he put his hands in the shape of a triangle and rallies the people. After all Arianna and Kareem are fighting the zombies and if A Single Mother in fairly good shape and a fat man armed with Pipes can do it, I'm pretty certain Anyone can take them!

The Words of the Kandaqi People finding their courage and Freedom, Revitalizes Thetadam, However, just because the people have done what he wanted and not worship him like a hero, he still likes to hot-dog and grandstand for their love and appreciation! Like when Sabbac uses a flame thrower to topple the very same Statue, Atom Smasher toppled repeatedly earlier (How did they reerect it so quickly?) and it's about to crush Amon, only for Black Adam to save his life yet again!

TRIGGER WARNING FOR INJURY AND DEATH!

Sabbac and Black Adam Face-off, the Demon Champion's Eternium filled claws and Horns Damaging Black Adam. Amon on his skateboard lead all the Kandaqi to face the demon Horde. Reeling from the cuts and Lacerations, Sabbac is About to deal the final blow, that's when Hawkman's mace pierces Sabbac Back through his stomach. Unfazed, Sabbac Kills Hawkman the same way He did to Dr Fate, But when Hawkman's body disintegrates into ash just like Dr fate and the hawkman helmet falls at his killers feet-A MIRACLE HAPPENS! Hawkman materializes as the new DR FATE, His costume modified for the Lord of Order's powers!

So lets finish this!

Using a Clone Spell, Hawkmen Bum Rush Sabbac as Cyclone and Atom Smasher Join the rebellion, Black Adam Grabs Sabbac by the horns and flies up into the air, and Does a Raiden Mortal Kombat Fatality on him by electrocuting him and rending him in half. With Sabbac Dead, the Undead Dissolve, the people cheer, and Black Adam helps Hawkman up, Who Only gained the power of Naboo temporarily, With it's duty Done, Naboo Disappears into the Ether. The Justice Society Goes to leave, they thank Black Adam, But they warn him Not to Push his Luck. With the people Below chanting his name, Adam considers leading them, he stills on the throne in the palace and when Arianna asks him how it feels, he answers it feels "Wrong". With that he flies out and Crushes the throne. It feels wrong for him to Lead, When he feels he could do better Protecting them. But he needs a New Name, Tehtadam is too old fashioned so when Arianna asks what did he have in mind. We get Title Drop instead to close out.

I didn't even Notice that!

I've being calling him Black Adam, because that is the name of this film, And never noticed that noone called him that throughout in the 1 hour and fifty minute run time!

In the post Credit Stinger, Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) threatens Black Adam through a drone, telling him to never leave Kandaq or his departure will be treated as a declaration of War. Black Adam doesn't take the Threat too Kindly, so he blasts the drone. However, hiding in the smoke made from the drone, a figure descends from the sky and a Man's voice tells him he's being waiting to for this moment, As Superman (Henry Caville) makes himself Known, which only makes the Poster Scene Earlier in this film, Hilarious In Hindsight!

THIS FILM SUCKS! AND IT'S ALL ROCK THE DWAYNE'S FAULT!

He and his Now Ex wife Dani Garcia, who must be in great terms to still Work and Coat-tail Ride each other to get jobs, are Named as Executive Producers. and it Shows. You thought Fighting with my Family was an Ego-trip, One where Rock Put in a lie About Meeting Saraya before she joined WWE so she can tell Rock how much she looked up to him? THIS IS WORSE! THIS IS THE REAL LIFE DWAYNE JOHNSON-This is Executive Dwayne, The "Final Boss" Who makes everything about him...

But doesn't show up when it matters!

The Plot is A*s! -We have a Tough, Uncompromising Anti-Hero...and it's this character we are giving a little buddy to protect?

And Amon Doesn't even work in that Regard. He's not a cute little kid, he's old enough to look at most adults at Eye level, he's old enough to understand what's going on politically, and yet he's dumb enough to have his attention swayed by a Child's Cape.

Another Glaring Issue is Accessibility,  I'm sure there are reviews by reviewers with more knowledge of DC than I have. But I'm sure there are reviewers with no knowledge or interest in Comics, solely have a knowledge of film and will only judge this as a film. So they will only judge by what they see. Which isn't a lot. We get bare minimum and Fan W*nk when it comes to Character Development, "Red Tornado " appears on Maxine's ID and never explained, And we are never told who he is or what it means. We never hear "Targar" "Targarians", "Hawkgirl "or "Shayera" from Hawkman...

AND IT'S NOT LIKE SHE DOESN'T EXIST IN THE DCU! SHE JUST DOESN'T EXIST...YET!

... nor do we ever hear "Naboo" or "Inze" from Dr Fate. All these terms, are vital to the characters. It'll be like if Spiderman never mentioned Aunt May or Uncle Ben in the run time of his film. Ishmael/Sabbac is not worth any build-up, I'm just glad Sabbac was played by someone in great shape and not the Gangly Weakling covered in red paint!  Atom Smasher's entire motivation and plot Thread is simply just "HURDUR, I LIEK A GURL!"

And now to the main plot!

A Testosterone Poisoned Ego Trip and Power Fantasy,  With Questionable Terrorist Viewpoints from Mostly Muslim Characters. With our Star when he can be bothered to be seen,  phoning it in his lines and not raising his voice higher than the tone you speak in when a dog does it's business in front of you, Johnson is at his most Robotic I've ever seen him, if it's actually him we see, most of the fight scenes are CGI. Coupled with the terrible Sound mixing, that forced me to watch this with film with Subtitles to understand what people are saying over flashes of lightning and blaring gunfire. Oh the soundtrack needs special mention, Classic Rock Songs only put in because Warner can pay for them, but the Official Black Adam theme is so painful to listen to- A Repeated Guitar Chord and Autotuned women screaming.

If ContentId was not a thing, I would have a link to the Aural Abuse that plagues you in the opening and Closing Credits. 

As bad as this film is, Surprisingly this is only the SECOND worst Dwayne Johnson film ever made, there is actually one even worse,  A film so bad, it's promotional consideration on WWE, using the film's key plot device, became a buzzword for the very worst of the last years of the Vince Mcmahon Regime.

But that is a Story for next year's Ticket to Hell!

CREDITS 

Black Adam was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited into Two Parts by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)

With Media from:

In part 1

Black Adam

DC COMICS 

MST3K

FATE/Staynight

Guardians of the Galaxy

In Part 2

Bad movie Beatdown

MST3K

Batman vs Superman 

The Soon to be Released Superman (2025)

WWE

Red Notice

All media used belong to their respective owners. 

Black Adam is property of DC COMICS, which was Produced By Warner Bros. All rights reserved. 

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE 

Because I'm reviewing World's Collide over on Enlightened Towers next month, the planned fan poll with be conducted in the next review, A Quiet Place Zero Hour.

TICKET TO HELL 

THE TWO DEATHS OF E 

FINAL CHAPTER

THE SECOND DEATH!

When Eamonn did his review, as Joe-Jack said, the trail of power send them to the Realm known as The Grey Area, A Dimension where forgotten are judged on their fates, and where Eamonn Bermingham, seemingly the last dvd reviewer, was taken to be a Museum piece, to he mocked by Aliens. 

These Judges, the Sephiroth, the Appraisers of Will, with Death and a creature called Herr Doktor as their bounty hunters and Bodyguards are formidable guards to these 10 creatures,  who are living treasures given voice and Sentience. Stripped our hero to make mockery of him for those who never seen a Human. 

Once the heroes and nuanced villains were made familiar of their drab surroundings. That's when the Humans of the group waned. Joe-Jack and Edwin only took one step, when they fell to their knees, gasping for breath.

"Oh Sh*t!"

"This Body...it's too weak....."

"Oi kant do anything...maybe I'm jus' stoopid an' useless....I'm nuffing without someone else...I'm nuffing without Misser Eamonn....without Mammie.....My Mammie!

Easy, Easy! It's the effect of the Grey Area, it has a negative effect on meatbags like you, I'm sure it feels like....

-Attending your own funeral?

-That's one way to put it!

-Maybe that's why They Bought Eamonn here, to dissuade Him from Escaping.

-aBSOLUTELY tHE cASE! iF hE fELT lIKE eSCAPE wAS iMPOSSIBLE, hE mAY hAVE aCCEPTED hIS dEATH. 

-Well I'm not going to accept that he died in some cage, when I sent all these years, plotting my revenge. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HE'S DEAD,  BECAUSE I AM THE ONE, WHO IS DESTINED TO K*LL HIM, NOT THEM, NOT ANY OF YOU!

This statement made Edwin surge with energy,  like the Greyness Dissipated from his body. He stood, a resolve that was reinstated within him.

WOT? HOW?

I just remembered I have something to fight for, some earn for freedom, Justice, but let's be honest...Those are what I strive for as Rage, all I care is The felling of whatever sucka dumb enough to throw hands!

What about you, Joe-Jack? Do you have any thing worth fighting for.

(Deep Breath)

........No.......

(After a great deal of walking, which only served to Drive a wedge between the group, who hated each other so much, that any utterance of that fact would be wasted Breath. If anything else, of the many adventures, this may have being the first quest where there was no army or Assassins facing them, only because The Grey Area was in itself, it's own Defender. 

What seemed like an age, Joe-Jack found the invisible tower.

In typical fashion, by complete accident!

By walking face first into a unseen wall, Joe-Jack started to swing Fists and stood in a boxer's Stance.)

C'mon ya Ba****ds! Who's dat hitting us? 

Reaching out, he accidentally turned a doorknob and pratfalled into a corridor that looked like one of the an official building. 

Despite finding the entrance, Joe-Jack was still reeling from the depression.  Falling over just made things worse.

iS tHE hUMAN fUNCTIONING cORRECTLY?

YEAH (!) Everything iz sunshine n Fecking Rainbows, So it is!

tHE aBSENCE oF cOLOUR mAKES yOUR sTATEMENT iMPOSSIBLE!

JAYSUS....WILL YE KNOT BE AT ME? I JUS' FOUN' DA FLOOR AN I DON'T WANNA LEAVE DA PLAICE I WILL DIE!

And why do want to do that, don't you want to save your Friend.

Friend? Oi Don't fink we ever are dat!

Wait, Aren't you friends? Someone explain. 

Yeah, firs' time I met Misser Eamonn, I Tried To K*ll him! 

Really? Why?

I taught he was makin' fun of me. An...he was! I felt like he was taking over my life. An so I Invaded his review, and instead of attacking me, he offered me a place in his review.  Then Eamonn reviewed when Ostrich tried to invade Earf, Then da First Ticket to Hell happened, and DA Rest as they Say is Histrionic! Gawd, DA Stories I use totally Mammie, WEN she went t Heavens car dat one time,  she where more excira abou' being on a Hellycoppah. So when she sawed magic an' Flying Horse, an gian glowing Fly headed Gawds, she woz beside herself!

.....Well, if anything, won't it make sense to continue?

WADDYAMEAN?

Well, Eamonn's life is in Danger,  on both sides, if we find him alive, Edwin will destroy him and we don't know what these Appraisers of Will are capable of, and despite one is malfunctioning, I doubt a perfectly working one will see sense, either.

So you owe it to him, Friend or no, to show him you are not the Sidekick anymore, and moreover that you are reliable as your own man.

I don't fink oi has da Konfeedense dat youse all have.

"Well, I tried!" Jusef Said straightening up and walking to join the others. 

qUESTION fOR yOU, hUMAN.

-Sure, what is it.

wHY aRE yOU uNAFFECTED bY aLL tHIS?

Easy. My World is so ruined and oppressive, that being in a place where you can see is grey and all you hear is faint voices, it's.....what's a good word for it.....oh....comforting!

wE sEE, pERHAPS wE cAN...rEMEDY tHE eARTH-3 gAME...

Eventually, the Group made it's way to the Bulk of the Mueseum, as the floor was now filled with the track-lines made to aid the Appraisers in their Movement. 

From a Balcony, shots were fired at them. 

I'm werry Sorry,  But Ze Exhibitions are currently closed to ze Public. If you refuse to Leave....

WE'LL DROP YOU ALL WHERE YOU STAND!

Well, well, If it isn't Pestilence! I haven't seen you since we Gave Blankets to some Natives! You Still owe me Five Deutschmark, Ya Bum!

Weight, it's not a real Doctah?

Vatt is a Bettah Vay, to get close to You Hairless Guinea Pigs? So Curious, So Fragile....So very Trusting!

Okay I know Pestilence,  I don't know who The love child of Pinocchio and Billy the Kid is. 

Weight? You don't recognise him? He says he's Death.

Why Would Death take that form? Or any form? Who are you really? 

Hehe hehe hehe..... Just because you don't believe who I say am, why can't I be Death?

(The Puppet Reaper teleported down a floor to face the heroes. Pestilence now that his identity was exposed, undid the Buttons and buckles of his plague Doctor Costume, as the gas that animated the body. As the cloud of gas lifted the slumped garments and Gas Canister and flung it towards the heroes,  which they dodged, before the winds reconstituted into the humanoid form. Its arms outstretched and his masked face looking that them In a smug high angle as if to say, at any moment..."TAH DAH!")

So will handle village People and this gasbag?

I was hoping you would deal with Herr Doktor.

Besides what mercenary would not take the chance and face Death? I will go down as a legend. 

Legends Die....Just the rest of you!

We'll hold off death and Pestilence, the rest of you, Find Eamonn.

And they found him, surrounded by 9 of the Appraisers. 

I-KETHER-WILL-SPEAK: Human, this is how you show us your gratitude? We saved you from Societial Extinction. But you humans love to bite the hand that feed you?

I GEBURAH WILL SPEAK: So we degree your Exhibition is is now a Stay Of Execution. And a brief one!

I-TIFERET-WILL-SPEAK: CAN WE JUST KILL THIS INGRATE? WE'VE BEING NOTHING BUT KIND BUT IT'S KEEPS GOING  ON ABOUT HIS "FREEDOM" AND "TROUSERS". 

Ya, Speakin' ov, Wat is ya Wearin'? It wasn't enough to use a Child's Ironing Man Glove, now you look like a Fecking Oscar Wif Red bits!

Thank you for telling me know how I look. I guess mankind will never lose the concept of a mirror.

Wat is this clothes, did they make you where Dat?

No....they didn't make me wear anything! 

Ya mean fer ya Birfday....dey left ya in yer birfday Suit? HAHAHA!

Are we done, we need to meet Chesed.

Chestnut, who dat?

She's our out. She's taking a big chance to get me back to our plain of existence. 

Weight. "SHE? " Da Gawd Babbys tole me, one of these Applicatah's went Screwy, and it was a women!

It's already happened, It was Binah, the Sephiroth of Understanding, she had found me in my attempts to escape. This Suit, the Digital  Pilgrim, can be removed without a trace. BUUUUUT....Not quick enough for people not to notice.

So for you to say, one of the 2 females to malfunction and the one of Understanding to be unreasonable makes sense.

I-CHESED-WILL-SPEAK : came the digitised voice from the Canister. 

"We are close, gather your friends and we will Escape."

It was the rogue Sephiroth Chesed, who had her Pod modified with weaponry, to see the embodiment of kindness, the Treasure that was the Umbilical cord of the First Being, (Impossible as that would be!) Shoot a tank gun, shocked The Cosmic Entities. 

bUT tHAT iS....

I KETER WILL SPEAK: We have survived for eons, and seen off every civilisation who tried to steal our Knowledge and power. We have seen them all fade to dust. What makes you think, despite turning our sister. That will win?

I BINAH WILL SPEAK: Sister....don't do this!....

Something in Joe-Jack's empty head, echoed in his mind...Something the Cosmic Entities said

"The Malfunctioning Sephiroth has forsaken its Duty for its base programming..."

HOLD ON!....IT'S YOUS!

You're the da Traitor!

-WHAT?

And....That's where we end it, sorry for the Cliffhanger, but I recently had my 40th Birthday,  so there was some time constraints with that and some Local Government issues that had to get dealt with.

So I'll see you next month for A Quiet Place: Day One. Where we will start a new storyline.

TICKETS TO HELL ATOMIC PINK CHAPTER TWO-OPPENHEIMER PART 4 (FINALE)

PLEASE READ PARTS 1 TO 3 BEFORE STARTING THIS POST, AS WRITING A SYNOPIS EACH TIME WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE, GIVEN THE SIZE AND SCOPE OF THIS MOVIE

THIS CONTINUING FILM REVIEW IS FOR A FILM RATED 15 FOR VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE FROM A BYGONE ERA!

Some words may be Edited to make this Review searchable.

With Testing Complete "Fat Man" and "Little Boy", are Carted off by the Air Force to make their Mark on History. Postdam has been a Failure, Japan had not surrendered, and Stalin made a Veiled remark on "America's Great Weapon". Despite the seeds of Russian Espionage Sown, Groves (Matt Damon) says that Robert Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy) should be proud of his work. "You Dealt us an Ace, Doctor, it's up to us now to Play it or not!" Seeing the Trucks Ride into the Horizon, Robert sees the Reinstated  Edward Teller ( Apparently he was ordered to return and was in the last scene, but I didn't see him) Robert still doubts if they did the right thing. ("I feel, Edward, that this war, and all future wars will continue to be unthinkable, When Teller Quips "Until Someone makes a Better Bomb!" Oppenheimer Shoots him a look, not because Teller is wrong, but because Teller just maybe right!

August the 6th 1945.

A day that would go down in infamy. 

President Truman has got on the Radio to Announce that Hiroshima has being Destroyed, as the Soldiers' Cheers go out. They are drowned out by Truman's Radio announcement and Robert's Second son Crying. As everyone else celebrates, Oppie Staggers full of emotion, but not with excitement but overcome with fear! 

Oppenheimer return to Princeton university as a hero, and cheered by the student body as he is asked to give a Speech . However his Mental state betrays the Words he says, as the wall behind him shakes like aftershocks, the Cheers are Silenced and replaced the Sounds of Screaming children and falling buildings. A Camera flashes in Robert's face and Robert Hallucinates the Audience awashed in light and Burned out of existence, only time to skip and the Audience behind him, jostling The Professor back into reality. As he leaves the gym, the laughing has Warped into Crying and Distorted Noise, passing a Celebrating Drunk who is throwing up makes Robert sees him dying of Radiation poisoning.

Sometime Later, Robert is in Washington DC to meet President Truman. Oppenheimer is here to talk about nuclear trade and Cooperation with the Soviets, while Truman laughs off the idea of trade, Since the Soviet Union is a threat. Oppenheimer wants no more of this, he wants Los Alamos Disbanded as he feels he has blood on his hands. 

Truman Mockingly removes his handkerchief from his jacket pocket and waves it in Oppenheimer's face. His own face twists  into anger, stating that " Do you think the J*ps give a Sh*t on who MADE the Bomb? No they only care about who dropped it!"

After that Disastrous meeting and Being interviewed constantly by the Media, we hear Lewis Strauss (Robert Downey Jr) saying that Robert took the Persona of father of the A-Bomb  to advocate for Nuclear power, not by being softly spoken anymore, but by being out Spoken about The Communist element of his life, turning traitor on many of his Brother and some of his closest friends.

Frank was Blacklisted from ever working in any University. Lomanitz, he was made to work on the Railroad, and Haakan Chevalier, he was Exiled, Publicly outed as a Soviet Spy. And Admiral Strauss again  was mocked by Oppenheimer for refusing the trade with Norway, only spurs on the Government to work on the H-Bomb.

Despite the wrath towards each other, Robert is still invited to Lewis' Birthday. Still devastated that the government ignored his calls for an arm's deal, Admiral Strauss breaks Robert's heart even further, by revealing the Identity of the Soviet Spy in their Midst: it was Dr Fuchs. After that revelation, the Feds are convinced the 2 Jewish left wing scientists conspired together. And as such, Oppenheimer is trailed at his home by agents. Nevertheless, Robert's Oppenheimer remains the outspoken figure-in fact all this public Scrutiny only bolsters his Conviction. When Eisenhower is elected, Oppenheimer sees it as an opportunity for the new regime to do right. Only for the army chiefs to show Disapproval to Robert's want of public Candour on Nuclear Policy. Strauss is to return to court his lawyers telling him and us a "Dr Hill", a scientist who was part of the Chicago team will testify. Strauss doesn't know him personally, but they do know none of the Chicago team doesn't have the same feelings of shame being surrounded by Oppenheimer for months on end.

This was due to The Los Alamos team shown slides of the Damage created by the impact of the Bombings and they hear Groves describing the Horrific events that Followed. After the meeting, a Shook up Robert is told by Teller that Oppenheimer former Professor, Dr Blackett Condemned his actions making Robert fantasize about Blackett actually Biting into that Apple he Poisoned. Once again Teller wants the Focus to be on his Hydrogen bomb research. And once again Robert refuses and again, not knowing the Guilt that Oppenheimer feels walks off angrily.  Robert is praises at a public procession at Los Alamos by Groves as a hero, but once again He voices his Concerns about Nuclear war! 

Back in the Present, Strauss' lawyers has bought this month's TIME Magazine with Lewis' face on the cover, and he is shocked to read a Quote from Strauss said the other day in his court's greenroom and therefore should not have being Public Knowledge was printed into the magazine. Strauss says he had a good friend in Times Publishing house who needed a good quote. The lawyer However thinks that this had being a Government Hatchet Job to Ruin Oppenheimer's Creditability the whole time!

"You say Agent Borden was Holding up a Knife to You. I now Believe, Sir, he was Holding it FOR you!"

In Robert's Hotel Room, He, Kitty and his lawyers are working our how to deal with Borden and Teller on cross, with Kitty knowing all the the long, It's Strauss who is the real enemy. She throws an ashtray at her Husband, pleading with him again to fight back.

Strauss is the Puppet master the whole time- this meeting with the Prosecutor's, no more than an evaluation for Oppenheimer's Security clearance. But in truth, it's a recorded Evidence gathering against Robert with the Case against  The Defendant coming from his own mouth. "Those who seek the Sun, get eaten, Power....Remains in the Shadows!"

We see the Springing of the trap from Oppenheimer's perspective, Consulting an AEC lawyer, however because of the conflict of interest, Because Oppenheimer was Chairman, they cannot directly help, however they hired Lloyd Garrison, one of the Country's top defence lawyer of his era. However, The Government stack the deck against him, by not Supplying key evidence. Mr Garrison tells Oppenheimer Isador Rabi will testify on his clients behalf. Dr Lawrence was going to testify too, but Lawrence believes Robert had an affair with Ruth Tomlin, that resulted in Dr Tomlin's untimely death. Just like they first met, Isador makes himself known offering a handkerchief full of Orange segments but this time, Robert accepts the food, and the help. Lawrence turns the corner to see Dr Ravi who bolts from his chair to  stare daggers at their former friend. Robert has not seen any of this and Rabi spares him the trouble of knowing Lawrence was there.

Despite his intricate plan to Shame Oppenheimer, the Leading Judge doesn't let Lewis Strauss have it all his way, like Robert, Strauss will not know key Witnesses ahead of time.

In the Boardroom, Mr Garrison tells the prosecutors, Dr Lawrence has come down with Colitis, but I think it's really an attack of Conscience! So instead they are going to continue to cross examine Agent Borden as planned, but with the Government agent Stonewalling, Garrison's every counterpoint, he leaves his seat to whisper an apology to a tired and Exasperated Oppenheimer "is anyone going to tell the Truth?"

Dr David Hill, A physicist who worked in the Chicago Team of the Manhattan Project makes his way to the stand. Hill was Strauss's witness, however Dr Hill cannot ignore the Animosity and Lip Service made towards Dr Oppenheimer.

In fact apart from Teller and those already close to Robert, the Entire scientific community have rallied behind Oppenheimer. Despite Alienating those close to him, when it mattered the most, his friends and even those he never met Personally are here to save him.

But with no Evidence that Strauss, Borden and Teller have Conspired together, Kitty is Furious that Robert continues to martyr himself as she, her husband and their lawyers argue over the Dinner table that night.

Kitty is asked to testify on behalf of her husband, however she is grilled on being a member of the Communist Party,  However Kitty is defiant and speaks circles around Roger Robb, Interrupting his questions with Corrections and Coy Answers, Since Robert, while he had Communist Ideals he was never a party member. That night the Lawyers leave and Albert Einstein reveals himself. He now believes Robert and him are Kindred Spirits,  Two men Betrayed by their Countries. Albert asks why He thinks America would be Accountable, when Germany wasn't. Robert believe they will, simply because America would never come out and say they are similar to their enemies in any way. Einstein is not convinced and wants Strauss to go to hell! 

As Such, Lewis is freaking out over Oppenheimer turning all the Scientists against Strauss, even thinking the Argument between Him and Einstein all those years ago was a setup! However we get the Kicker-Robert CHOOSE HIROSHIMA AS A TARGET!, And put on the Spot, Robert starts to Sweat and Stammer and Hallucinate The sound of marching Feet, and Brilliant white light. As he is overwhelmed he Confesses he thinks he should be accountable for the deaths. At the same time Strauss is also losing his mind. At the end of the both the Hearing and the trail, years apart from each other, both have lost, in The Fusion Scenes covering the Security Hearing, Robert loses his Security clearance, but he will not be Arrested for Treason, but he will be tried. Five years later admiral Strauss promotion to cabinet is overturned by 3 votes, one by the future President Kennedy. Being driven to his home, Robert finds Catherine in the garden after the hearing. She asks if this was his plan to let the world tar and feather him, they would forgive him? Robert simply says he doesn't know, but they'll have to eventually. As the Oppenheimers leave in Quiet Victory, Strauss leaves in Noisy Humiliation. Before being torn apart by the press, the Indignant Admiral still believes he was stood up by The Scientific Community the very day he Met Oppenheimer, what ever he said to Einstein only proved to be the first Stage of his Downfall. Borden his loyalty now to himself after Strauss lost, says there is no way to prove that, only they knew what they said to each other on that day near the Duck pond in Princeton.

And Through the power of Framing Devices, we see what Albert said not the other way around. He warns Robert that years down the Line, The Government will honour his work but the praise would not be genuine. It'll be a PR Stunt . "They'll say "we Accept You, we praise your work", But they will  never Say "we Forgive you!""

We Flash Forward to exactly that we see that! As the Cast are now elderly men in Washington, Congratulating him. All the while Kitty is beside her husband and when Roger Robb extends the hand of friendship towards her, she gives him the death stare, Robert asks one more question to Albert.

"Remember those equations i showed you that theorized that we could destroy the world?-I THINK WE ALREADY DID! 

The last thing we see and hear is Oppenheimer trying to keep it together, the Sound of Marching and Delusions of the Earth being Destroyed viewed from space continues to Torture his mind, til we see and hear No more!

THIS FILM IS INCREDIBLE!

In this film Robert Downey Jr said a line which i quoted previously; "How could a man who sees so more than us, be so blind?" that line is so Apropos as we are introduced to Cilian Murphy Awkward, Naive, Mentally Unstable Womaniser. Clearly not the Most Heroic Person...And that's the point! We are Shown that there are no Winners in War, Only Victims and Villains-The Idealists are either Broken or Tested, the equal Become Oppressed, The Lonely seek Attention at the cost of Marriage and the powerful Fear losing their influence. This Cast, this Highly touted Cast, each give the Performance of their careers. Murphy is of course the lead, but he is Supported by this great cast, Downey plays a great Fork-tongued Manipulator (Again, praise goes to the Make-up Department for aging these Characters so connivingly) who was a superb Twist Villain. Florence Pugh is magnetic and Alluring as the Femme Fatale, But it's Emily Blunt that gets the nod as the Formidable Kitty Oppenheimer, playing the Pillar of Strength in this shaky marriage to this Cowering Apologist her husband has become.

The Cinematography and Direction is Top notch...Once you figure that Christopher Nolan plans to tell the Story of Robert Oppenheimer from 2 sides like a literal Trial, With Colour scenes being For and The black and white being against! Top that with each scenes contain Flashbacks and Delusions to progress the story, can be jarring for some. This film because of this framing device and it's 3 hour Length, is not the kind of film, you can leave to make a snack and come back later to ask someone "What Did I Miss?". This Film is the Cinematic Event it claims to be. The Actors are on the top of their game, presented in a Trail to draw your own conclusions of a man who at best was Morally grey, The Script sharp and Quotable, as you have read, the Characters are Believable, A ridiculous thing to say to when its about real people, But sometimes Biopics tend to make parody of their Subjects (See: The General!) no such Issues here! And the Music score is Sublime, Some of it peppered with the sounds of Geiger Counters and The Humming of Machinery, gives some Scenes a Feeling of Bemusement and Tension. (The piece of Music that Plays when Albert reads Teller's Atmospheric Ignition equation, that cues up the sound of A Loud Crackle of a Geiger Counter with Albert's Mood switching from Happy to Shocked is essentially effective!)

Again, This film is Incredible!

CREDITS

Oppenheimer was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham

With Media in Part 1 from Oppenheimer. 

Oppenheimer was Produced and Distributed by Warner Bros!

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!

We have another film from last year, that caught my attention, Wes Anderson is also in the desert doing experiments, In a Cold war Comedy drama Caper, called Asteroid City!

AND NOW THE ENDING CHAPTER OF THE STORYLINE!

When i was 3. I was Introduced to Death.

Scratch that. When i was 3, I was introduced to the Concept of Death.

And it wasn't a Funeral, that wasn't for a while!

When i was Young, and it was Christmas, living in Ireland, that meant being in the Eu meant the member states could buy Programs, even cartoons on the cheap-cheap!

So one such show that was blended into my Subconscious mind for years to come was a Marionette show that had a scene where puppets where dancing with happy Polka music playing until a Ventriloquist's Dummy of the Grim Reaper, Cut their strings and caused the music to end on a Scare Chord, It's eyes glowing and a Maniacal Laugh causing the Crying Toddler i was to seek the lap of my mother.

And for Years to even now, It's the one thing factor that appears in my Nightmares, where I, Or people die, Regardless of how it doesn't fit the dream to have the Grim Reaper be a Puppet, automatically taller than everything else.

But that is the Thing about the Fear of your Own Morality.

It Shadows over Everything Else.

And that's where we Stand, Joe-jack and I, Facing two Mysterious Men who on no uncertain terms, came to Kidnap Someone! 

"Joe-Jack You take the Guy dressed like a Cowboy, I'll handle the Gimp!

"A Gimp, you zay? Why zat is not very nice? I was expecting some courtesy from the Mara's champion!

I WANT NOTHING TO REMIND ME OF HER, NOT AFTER WHAT SHE DID TO OUR FRIEND THAT WE JUST HAD TO BURY!

Yes, I must be hard to go on when death hits close to home, I vonder if i ever feel bad over the Eons or if i was always Dull to the pain. 

WHO...OR WHAT ARE YOU....WHY ARE  YOU SO BLASE ABOUT DEATH?

Not at all, i greatly respect him otherwise i would not have come here, with hi....OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW? YOU TRULY DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE?

"YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME WHO YOU ARE...RIGHT NOW" Eamonn said as he swung a punch expecting to hit the stranger with the Dimension Shattering Punch, only for the Plague Doctor to grab his arm and inspect his Hand, His Eyes Bulging with Glee behind the Googles, built into the Gasmask.

ACH MEIN GACHT! WHAT FINE SUTURES ZE MARA CONTRUCTED IN YOUR SURGERY TO REMOVE ZE FRAGMENT OF ZE DVD OF HERR DEVIL! CLEARLY HER MEDICAL ACUMEN WAS EXQUISITE! I FEEL HONOURED TO SEE SUCH CAPTIVATING SURGERY, THAT I FEEL INCLINED TO SHOW YOU MY OWN! 

Herr Doktor raised one of his arms and blasted some knockout gas into Eamonn face, he then Proceeded to take a Syringe out and took a blood sample from his confused preys arm. he then scanned it with his Googles than seemingly had Ai technology to scan Blood.

HOW VONDERBA, THIS IS! YOU ARE A MAN WHO ARE THE FULL OF THE SECRETS, HERR EAMONN, NOT ONLY TO US TO YOURSELF, IT SEEMS!

Eamonn, was wiping off the toxins from his face which were now entering his bloodstream via his Tear Ducts. "Wha..at....d..do you mean....what are you...

....TALKING ABOUT? WE ARE HERE TO FIND A CREATURE ON THE VERGE OF EXTINCTION! THAT CREATURE IS YOU! MEIN FRIEND YOU CAN STOP DEALING WITH THE NATIVE, WE HAVE WHAT WE NEED!

What a shame Doc, we actually having a good gunfight there. I Was nearly getting challenged!

"YOU LEAVE MIS'ER EAMONN A LOAN,!" Cried Joe-Jack as he shot the Stetson off the Cowboy. giving all the humans a true glimpse of his face. The face of a Wooden dummy carved into a  skull.

Now, why did you think you could go and think a cheap move like that would work. Don't you know You Can't Cheat Death, Cause if you Didn't Know, I KIND OF TAKE THAT AS A NOT ONLY A PROFESSIONAL INSULT, BUT PERSONALLY!

And now you know, why we need this specimen. We need to study this Happening. Death, restrain my Patient. As i ready the transport to Ze Grey Area!

And like that, Once again, Eamonn was gone, taken by Supernatural Force, But Joe-Jack would learn this Force would Not be taken lightly as Meddling with it would alter the flow of time.

Find  what will happen in the NEW STORYLINE FOR 2024-25

THE TWO DEATHS OF E!

ONLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!

THREE TICKETS TO HELL: THE SLAMMIN' SALMON PART 2

 (PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE...)

The Earth is Doomed!

Buying into the Gift of Peace that was given to the planet, despite it terraforming and the land and killing all those there into materials for Colleges for her Brand of Heroes. it was all a ploy by Sabaru, to feast on the fear of sentient life, as her Species of Mara tend to do. Frankensteining her kind in a void into a pathagen that causes those frightened to turn into Monsters. All over the world, People are either Monsters or Sucked into Masses of Gelatinous Blobs that where once 100s if not 1000s of lifeforms.

Meanwhile on the Review side of things, 3 Tickets to hell ends with Disappointing Results, as The Broken Lizard Boys are The serving Staff at The Slammin' Salmon, A High-end Restaurant owned by A former Boxing Champion and one that has needs 20 Grand in the space of one night or Yakuza kills everyone! But not before Salmon kills his Manager for Fucking Up! So Rich Lies and tells his staff that The Champ is Running a competition tonight so he doesn't Die. And that's the "Plot" to the Film, A Staff of servers Undercutting each other to win a Prize Under false Pretences. We also have Rich Swallowing a wedding ring and being feed Laxatives, A chef with anger Issues, a Waitress with a Burnt face, and a Man with OCD, Nicknamed "Nuts" refusing to take his Medication in an effort to win! 

We Return to the Story, as the Family of the Pop-star Nutella Played By Vivica A. Fox. (Yes I said something about the name and casting in the last Post, LET IT GO!)

Nutella sits at Tara's table, So Conner flirts with Patty the Receptionist and asks if she will be his plus 1 if he wins....provided he gets the best tables of course!

Tara takes Nutella and her four guests order and they want 5 of the most expensive items on the menu. Desperate to make the money after the champ takes half out for the prize, Rich puts Donnie, the Busboy on the  floor, as a waiter. Despite being drinking the Blue food colouring Liquor all night, has enough sense to tell him he's drunk. But Rich needs all the help he can get, even from busboys. Dave has cooked Rich a Lingune Full of Rock Shrimp ("You'll Wanna be Close to the Shitter when you are half way done, I call that my Pants Down Pasta!" ACTUAL FUCKING QUOTE!)

In the Deep end, Donnie pisses off Some Bri'ish Soccer Yobs.

And IT'S NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN!

Meanwhile Guy's now Sworn Enemy, War and Peace Dude is Still Reading while An Obese Family are waiting to be Seated, once more the Scholar orders a drink, some tea, so at least he's paying for drinks! So Donnie gets this table, so he can work his magic on pissing him off!

I dunno, war and peace dude is pretty Zen, Soccer Yobs usually find some reason to cause trouble.

Patty has come up good for Conner, she has landed a party of 6. Unfortunately, it's his former Co-workers, including the one he claimed to have slept with.

Guy feels the Need to go mess with the man with OCD who is nicknamed Nuts.

By the way, Nuts is In last place, Despite all the other men giving him Their tables to help Ryan sweep out his Round Chimney!

Meaning Nuts has Turned into his Alter Ego Zongo which the patrons believe is a piece of performance art.

This puts the dead last Straggler into first place, Amid Concerns by Tara. Spencer Flips off Rich who still has not passed the Ring, until the "Pants Down Pasta" takes effect.

Zongo becomes too out of hand and his Antics now becoming harmful. Spencer is given a Rum and Coke with so much booze, when he see Mia's burnt face carrying a lit Birthday cake decorated with Roman Candles, he Spits out his tipple and burns her face even further, While the other staff force feeds Nuts his medication.

Conner confronts his Former producer about firing him. Turns out Conner was Fired because he was only hired because he was born with a large Nose, that Mr Lobo could write Nose Puns. And what does Conner Do? Blow his First Paycheck on a nose job!

10:25 and Nuts had come to his senses and his shocked to see him winning, So he vomits his pills while in the next booth, Rich finds out how big a 45 Grand Diamond really is when it Gets "Stuck"! Mia decides to endure, now looking like a genderbent Freddie Kruger!

Rich has Finally "Retrieved" the Ring, Sans Diamond. Donnie who's dead last is intimidated by Mr Salmon who is eyeballing him as his next victim ("I'm gonna use your Spine as a jump-rope!") Donnie Runs out in fear but Salmon catches up! Conner meets the actor who replaced him, who has a bigger nose than he was born with, feeling more than a twinge of Jealousy

Tara finds Donnie Crying in the Refrigeration Unit, so she give him one of her regulars. We See Zongo in a dream sequence in a restaurant Serving Kittens, but in reality, Zongo is forcing feeding a man a whole squid with his cock hanging out before Mr Salmon had to punch him out! Rich Plops out the ring, Sans Diamond, but Samara excepts anyway, However being Luvvy-Duvvy all Night with her, Spencer has found out all her Quirks and Foibles and might have second thoughts!

Tara Calls out Rich for being the same Pussy who couldn't stand up to the Champ. There is a reason for this-something they bring up mere Minutes before the end Credits-That Rich is Married to Salmon's Sister and has A set of triplets, who have come to visit-Just Now! Close to Midnight!

AND IT'S NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN!

Desperate to not lose, the new loser is Guy, who has no-one sitting at his section, Falls back on Underhanded tactics. Turns out Mia's Burns are worse than we thought, as Guy blows into her hair and a Blonde clump falls into a glass of water, staining it with blood!

This makes the entire table of heavy-set football football Players Bailout so Quickly they upturn all the tables in Mia's Section, to get out of there! Tara Learns First hand that Alongside being an Idiot, and a thug, Mr Salmon is a Snake Oil Salesmen, who threatens Punches to Celebs and Makes it up to them by fully comping the meals for free, to win this clientele of Celebrity Fans!

So Lets finish this!

It's now 12:30. And Conner Wins. But in a shocking serve, War and Peace Dude tells Donnie he is Dying and his Bucket List was to Read All of War and Peace in his favourite restaurant. Something that Donnie let him Do, not like that other guy! So Donnie gets the man's life savings of 3,000 dollars. he leaves with sentimental music playing in the background....Until he is killed, ran over by a Green screen Horse! When Rich Announces Tara as the Winner, Donnie reveals he gave the table to her as thanks. However there is a problem, the total is 19, 900 dollars! So Salmon takes the grand of the staffs tips in front of everyone. Rich stands up to his Brother in law/boss and in comes the Punchline: Mr Salmon owed the yazuka 20,000 YEN, Not 20,000 DOLLARS!

THE SABOTAGE, THE LAXATIVES, THE ASSAULTS AND ALL THE LAWSUITS THAT WERE PREDICATED ON THIS COMPETITION.....

AND IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!1!!!

AT4W - Combine Harvester - YouTube

And so after taking the 12,00 Dollars, The film Ends with Mr Salmon throwing the rest of the cash in the air, while everyone wrestles for the flying notes, as Tara and Donnie are a Couple now who have a romantic Kiss, Until "Donnie" starts to grope Tara, because it's Dave, dressed as Donnie Forcing himself onto her!

"KONO DAVE DA!"

BECAUSE RAPE IS FUNNY!

And Because Mr Salmon is a man of his Word (EXCEPT ALL THE TIMES WE SEE HE IS NOT!) And Also Because he Deserved It, Guy gets Punched so hard, he turns into a painting!

GOOD LORD! THIS FILM SUCKS!

This Film is Unstructured, Unmotivated, and just Dumb! Nothing in this film works! The twist that Ryan is Mr Salmon's Brother in law? It should have being half an hour on the story and Ryan's Thread, Not "Fat man eats Diamond Ring and Laxative, because fat people eat will eat anything, because their fat!" But instead, we don't have people to root for, we have the freaks at the Freak Show, arguing about who gets to bite off the head of the Chickens first!

The Characters are jerks and even beyond that all of them are either so lacking in Personality or their Backstories are so Ridiculous (An Actor learns the fact he was solely for his giant nose, and was never told, does he Sue, No! He grovels that he'll get a bigger nose! And that's all Conner's Development!) The Jokes on Body Image, Poop, Mental Illness and Sexual Violence is just Puerile. Michael Clarke Duncan tried to carry this film, but In most scenes, he loses steam very quickly. But I can't solely blame this film's Cast for its failure, 

But the Blatant Lies From the Blurb from AolOnline, claiming this film was "In the top 10 funniest films of 2009!" It wasn't? Do you know what was the Funniest film of that year according to Bing? (The Successor of AOL?)

A film already reviewed by me, for not being funny! The Invention of Lying!

The film where Ricky Gervais invents Religion ! THAT FILM!

This is not only one of the Worst Broken Lizard Comedy films I've seen, it's one of the Worst Comedies I've seen PERIOD!

But you know what?

Still better than Beerfest!

AND NOW OUR CONCLUSION.

It had seem like forever but in all actuality, only a week had went by.

Joe-Jack was starting to Run out, Cartridges for His gun, Food, Patience, Hope. Take your Pick. This Enemy. This Despair Pathogen was far different from anything he had Fought and Killed Before. He  had starting with his father killed innocent people before, but this was Different. This virus turned them from innocent people into Something that could and Did fight back. 

He was Stumbling in a back street when he stepped on a errant rib-bone, weather it was left from a fresh kill or failed Transformation was anyone's Guess.

What Mattered was the bone was stepped on causing a loud snap to ring in the Backalley, Gaining the Attention of want were People know their Corpses rearranged to look like Dogs or extra Limbs, shambled to eat Joe-jack or Convert him into a Monster.

It seemed like the End for him, As a Despair Drone Lunged at him, Only for some Fire that came from behind him to scare the Creatures off!

"YEAH. YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN, YOU PUTAS!"

Satanic Ostrich had saved Joe-Jack. But since Joe-Jack was Heading home to Check on Mammie, The Lord of Sin had some bad News.

The BnB Was Still standing, the Front door still locked. Joe-Jack had hoped that what Satan told him was either a lie or exaggeration.

HE DIDN'T LEARN.

THERE IS NO HOPE NOW!

In the Sit-room, locked by her son to watch tv until he came back, Mammie was exposed to the Newstory that turned everyone. Now hiding under an upturned Armchair. Mammies legs and Torso were seen....Now Attached to a Mass that was once her head , now a Pulsing membrane of Brain lobes and Tumours Moving on Crab Legs, When the Mammie-Drone moved, her Former Body flopped forward or Back like a Ragdoll or a Ribbon tied to a Branch in the breeze.

"JOE-JACCCCCKKKKKK? IT....HURTZZZZZZ!

-oi Know , Mammie, i know!

-HELLLLLP MEEEEE!

-I WILL, MAMMIE I WILL! 

(He loaded his gun!)

-Mammie, afore you get up dere, I wantz ye to know, afore Rose In Dat Heaven tells you herself! 

HER DEATH WOZ KNOT YER FAULT!

(IN THE HALL, SATAN WAS WAITING! HE NODDED HIS HEAD IN SADNESS, AS THE LOUD BANG CAME FROM THE NEXT ROOM!)

Do you need a minute?

Noah, It's just....oi never thought oi would Eva...

(There was a Sound of Scuttling Legs like that of a giant Insect. There was a look exchanged like Mammie had somehow survived!

Bolting through the Sit-room, they saw that indeed Mammie was Still dead, but on top of the indignity of Mutation and death, Mammie was now used as Bait for an Ambush. 

Springing from the chimney flume and upturned furniture, Spider Camera Bots surrounded them, tying them in webbing of Film cells, but surprisingly it had some level of Textile Strength. Smashing through the windows, each of our heroes was put onto the backs of the newly Arrived Camera-Dogs, as were carried off on the Rotten Flesh of the Cyborgs. All the way to their "Mother"

The Heroes College which was once Joe-Jack Front garden, was the Destination. So I would Feel kind off Silly to Just go into all his trouble of Bondage to lead them here.

But That was Sabaru to a fault,

From being A Seductress to a Hypewoman for her Brand of "Heroes"

She Liked Putting on a Spectacle. 

Or Maybe the Right Word was Display. 

Hurled onto the Floor Joe-Jack and Satan was about to rush their captor Until a Glass, like the one Eamonn Stood in Despondent. Joe-Jack was confused to why his gun was not Removed. Then it became Clear when Ostrich blasted some Magic to No avail.

-I Would Not even try, This Glass has being made With Someone's Holding the fragment of a Devil's DVD In Mind. Eamonn is all tuckered Out Because he tried to Use His Dimension Shattering Punch 5 times before giving up!

 -IMPOSSIBLE! THAT THE ENTIRITY OF EXISTENSE COMPRESSED INTO A SINGLE PUNCH!

-DIS GLASS TOOK DA POWA OV 5 EPISODES OF DA BIG BANG THEORY TO DA FACE?

So your Probably Wondering why I did it!

 I killed my kind to cause another Extinction What is my Endgame?

But then you all Figured It out when I Said too Much about Eighties Lad.

The Human, In his RAGE, Who Killed The Cosmic Entity Of Rage, And Took His Place In the Game Of Souls.

THIS IS MY PLAN ALL THE LONG!

To Cause More Despair to Take the Pawns out of The Blasted Cosmic Entities Play all at Once!

This Not Extinction .

This is Apotheosis!

-You Can get Tablets Fer that!

-Moron! It means Becoming a God. All this time Going from World to world gathering Power. 

( Sabaru Pressed a Button on Console that Shown a Map Of her linear Descent to Earth via other Presumably Destroyed Planet. Eamonn Stirred When he saw that one was "Gorgon Planet" he remembered that Gorgon who Went from Hunter to Frightened Prey!

" You have the Scent of an Apex Predator on you! Doesn't believe her lies! Figure out the pattern before It's too late for your planet!)

So It's now time She said as she Received her Throne. The Mass of Tentacles which came out from her Mouth gathered Further and Larger Revealing Connector ports to the Wires for her Dock, which she used to Be connected to her Dimension and Fake Planet all times, Now This Throne which she Straddled with her Mouth agaped in Comprised Position was not used To Drain the World of all the Despair she caused, all the hope that was not there, she Brimmed with Power as on the Screens the Sky darkened, the Seas grew stagnant. Birds crashed onto Land, Forests Rotted and Weather Subsided. In Some Cities, Buildings Crumbled and a drone which was once a child's Body barked, Under trapped some Debris called out for Help, until some Misshapen creatures all once human themselves pulled the Boulder of the young Mutation!

This Caused Joe-Jack to stir himself!

DO YOU SEE? I HAVE EATON ALL OF MY FILL, AND LEFT PLANET AS A HUSK WITH NO  HOPE AND FAITH IN IT'S MISERABLE DENIZENS!, I HAVE TAKEN THE HOPE OF EVERY BEING I ENCOUNTERED. I HAVE CREATED MORE DESPAIR THAN ANY ONE BEFORE ME! 

I TRULY HAVE BECOME A GOD!

(Sabaru detached herself from wires and stood triumphantly, expecting to leave her Body behind in this plain of existence!)

hehehehe......

-WHAT IS SO FUNNY? WAIT OF ALL THE PEOPLE I EXPECT TO HAVE AN ATTEMPT ON A HEROIC COMEBACK, I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU! SO THEN LET ME HUMOUR YOU ONE LAST TIME, IDIOT, BEFORE I RELISH RIPPING YOU APART!

YERE DA FUCKIN' IDIOT SUBURU!

I SEE YOU CANNOT GET MY NAME RIGHT, EVEN MINUTES BEFORE YOU DEATH!

(Joe-jack Raised his Gun to Sabaru's chest!)

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! YOU SAW BEELEZEBUB STRUGGLE TO BURN THE GLASS PRISON YOU ARE IN. YOUR HERO COULDN'T DO ANYTHING AFTER HITTING WITH THE POWER OF 5 BIG BANGS TO IT, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOUR PATHETIC LIL' PEASHOOTER COULD DO ANYTHI-

(BANG!)

(SHATTER!)

(Sabaru, stood there all Shocked, a bullet wound in her chest, bleeding out!)

HOW......DID....I.....LOSE.......THE......GLASS.....WAS.....NOT.....SUP.POSE......

It woz all yer owen Fault, truth be told! Ye Had all da faith in da Worl, that Dis glass wouldn't Break!

"ALL THE FAITH IN THE WORLD!" Sabaru breathed out, Realizing what she had done!

"SEE IT WORKS BOTH WAYS DOES FAITH, IT DOESN'T CARE IF YA GOOD OR BAD! SO IF YOU REMOVE ALL THE HOPE AND FAITH IN THE WORLD, PLACING STOCK IN ANYTHING IS A BAD IDEA!

NO....YOU LIE.....I....AM A GOD...I'M TURNED MOST OF HUMANITY INTO THE  SAVAGE MONSTERS THEY TRULY ARE....I.....WON!

NO YA DIDN'T! WE ARE MONSTERS ALL DA TIME ARE PEOPLE, BUT EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS THAT WE CAN BE PRICKISH TO EACH OTHER, EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS AN EVIL SPRINGS UP DESPITE BEING WARNED ABOUT IT FOR EVER, EVEN IF IT SEEMS WE DON'T DESERVE IT! 

WE ALWAYS FIND OUR WAY OUT OF DESPAIR TOGETHER!

NOW I ALREADY KILLED SOMEONE TODAY I COULD HAVE SAVED, SO I TELL YA NOW REVERSE THIS  WIF DA TIME YOU HAVE LEFT, COZ YE R DYIN' WITH A BIG L, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

....I CAN'T! EVEN I COULD, I WAS EXPECTING HAVING THE POWER OF A GOD TO DO THIS OVER AND OVER!

-That can be Arranged. I'm pretty sure, the Cosmic Entities are not too pleased with a Loophole in their game....

(A Glowing hand pushed the entire universe, the same way a player discards all the pawns to reset.)

All but one who opened her eyes as she was lying on a "Ground"

HELLO? Is anyone here? she Asked as she got up standing in a white void!

Hello. Sabaru of the Mara! said a young man in 3d glasses and Time displaced Clothing.

Wait?  I KNOW YOU! YOU'RE EIGHTIES LAD!

GUILTY AS CHARGED, BABE! WHICH IS WHY BOTH OF US ARE HERE!

AND WHERE IS HERE?

NOT SURE REALLY,! Limbo, Purgatory! My theory given that we Broke the rules of the game, We are in some kind of Discard Dimension, while they figure out what to do with us!

And how long will that take?

I Killed Rage 4 years ago, and the reason I call this place a discard dimension Is They used my body to incubate a new Rage in my image and I was sent here. So definitely not 4 years!

.....WE ARE NEVER GONNA SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN AREN'T WE?

-PROBABLY NOT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE A FEELING YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE HOPE! I MEAN LOOK AT THE ALTERNATIVE? YOU'RE NOW HERE!

THE END.....FOR NOW!.....THE END OF THIS STORY.....THERE IS NEVER REALLY AN END.....BECAUSE.....YOU JUST ACCEPT.....THAT THINGS END.....BUT.....I WONT....END.....JUST......THESE STORYLINES....FOR NOW!

CREDITS 

The Three Tickets to Hell Event Comprising of the Films Contained in Anchor Bay's Comedy Collection was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited into 4 parts by Eamonn Bermingham. (@RealEnli on Twitter)

With Media from:

In Part 1-Stan Helsing

Stan Helsing

Saturday Night with Jonathan Ross

Phelous and Linkara Crossover the Airzone Solution,

Superman Returns

Ace Attorney

In part 2-Big Fat Important Movie

Big Fat Important Movie

Christine Teigen's Twitter Account.

Patton

The Simpsons

Part3 and 4-The Slammin' Salmon

The Slammin Salmon

Family Feud

Donkey Kong Country

Gravity Falls

Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Part 1: Sunlight Overdrive

One Punch Man

All Films Are Property of Anchor Bay Productions.

All Rights Reserved.

All Media used belong to their Respective Owners.

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE:

In one of the most slated films in Recent Memory, Will Ferrell Doesn't Play Sherlock Holmes, he Plays Will Ferrell Playing Sherlock Holmes! CONFUSED? WELL TOO BAD! HOLMES AND WATSON IS THE NEXT REVIEW IN JULY!

3 TICKETS TO HELL: WILD HUNGER PART 3: THE SLAMMIN' SALMON-PART 1

 Wild Hunger part 3: The Truth, in All it's Repugnant Glory!

(SABARU'S MONOLOGUE IN GOLD)

"There is a time in a person's life, where that person, realizes even if they had the best intentions, Someone Suffers!

And that's what HUMANITY Had done to Demons! You MADE US! WE ARE AS VALUABLE TO THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE, AS YOUR ART, YOU INVENTIONS, EVEN YOUR GODS!

BUT YOU BOUGHT THIS ON YOURSELVES! SCRABBLING AROUND STILL, LIKE ROACHES IN THE DARK, EXCEPT, YOU NO LONGER FEAR THE DARK, YOU HAVE CONQUERED THE NIGHT, YOU HAVE CROSSED THE SEAS AND YOU HAVE DEVELOPED DISTRACTION AFTER DISTRACTION TO NUMB THE FEELING IN YOUR MINDS THAT NAGGING FEELING THAT YOU ARE NOT SAFE!

BECAUSE!

YOU ARE NOT SAFE!

YOU REALLY FELL FOR IT! I'M THE WOUNDED SNAKE, AND YOU ARE ALL THE NAIVE FARMER! I TOLD YOU ALL! MY KIND ARE MARA, THAT I FEED ON NIGHTMARES AND FEAR, AND YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME? BECAUSE I WAS BRINGING YOU HOPE?"

(Sabaru's TV feed flicked over to Images of Creatures, once familiar to our eyes, Now Twisted to Attack all around them, Giant Blobs of flesh, Amalgamated from crowds of People who were infected at the same time by the Despair Pathogen, Shot by the Galactic G-men's laser weapons only to find out that the weapons supplied by The Mara, were ineffective from the start. Gruesome Tentacles grabbed a Soldier Transforming under the Pathogen after losing Hope, the Victim was forced into a Open gash in the Kronenburg, and the Transforming Victim Became Flesh and Boils to match it's captor, What ever that man was, what hopes he had, what family he left behind, His past his future, Gone, his fate was sealed as a Skin Graft on the Ever expanding Blob!

The Screen Returned to Sabaru in a room held by Pillars, under a Glass dome, Eamonn stood Ashamed on what he Did!

YOU ALL FEEL FOR IT!.....This Idiot fell for it....

 She said as she walked behind a Pillar "ALL I HAD TO DO WAS GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANTED... 

(She emerged as Eamonn's Daughter)

AND YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE DO ANYTHING!

(She walked past another Pillar, turning into her Adult Form.)

BUT ENOUGH LIES! IT'S ONLY FAIR I SHOW MY CHILDREN WHAT MOMMY REALLY LOOKS LIKE. 

(Sabaru dropped the spell and started to Transform, Her Peachy Skintone, became that a gangrenous shade of blue, with Liverspots all over, Her nails turned black and pointed outwards into Long Talons, her sundress turned into a metal chasis that covered her modesty, though it was now rusted in places, like the hem of her Skirt. And Finally Her face Framed by Frail and Decaying long white hair, her Beautiful face was the Same, until Eamonn realized it was a Metal Mask , Held on the Head by 2 bolts on the Check Bones, And the One in the Forehead. The first 2 Bolts were Unfastening the Lower Jaw by the transformation. The Metal Jaw hung to one side as the Mara ripped it off fully, Her True Jaw, another Writhing mass of Tentacles.)

AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION.

We End our Grindhouse With Broken Lizard, the Comedy Troupe with only one critically good film under their name-And you've all read the title, This film is not Supa Troopers.

We Open on a blank screen For a boxing scene they can't afford, as an Announcer has Declared that Cleon "Slammin'" Salmon remains champion of the world With a Devastating Knockout Punch.

Years later, A graphic Morphs into a Yelp! Review of Salmon's Namesake Restaurant, Which if the over-use of Boxing Puns are anything to go by-The Food is okay, but the portions are Fucking huge!

We Open with a Rich Bell-end being rude to his date and Server. He tells the server, Rich to take back his Date's Sashimi and "Cook it Nice". When the Server tries to explain what Sashimi is, the Jerk interrupts and tells him he doesn't need advice from some loser who waits tables!

Oooooh! Big Mistake, Asshole! 

You may do that shit your Greasy Spoon Owner, or High school McDropOut, But this is a High-end Restaurant Meaning (And we covered this In my review Of Burnt) That Servers have to Have a great deal of Culinary Knowledge of the Menu.

So the Jerk throw some butter in Rich's face for good measure. Pissed Off, Chef Dave burns the Tuna and The Guido force feeds The Waiter and tells them to get them Swordfish instead!

To make matters worse the Server comes afoul of the Jobsworth Middle Management who doesn't believe what he's told despite witnesses. The Waiter wants to quit, but Carl tells Rich he doesn't have to tell him, he has to tell "The Champ". The Utterance of Mr Salmon's Name cause fear to all staff in the room. But Carl says he doesn't have the guts!

Doug loses his Courage when the corridor leading to Mr Salmon's office (The Late Michael Clarke Duncan) is laden with pictures of his many knockouts!

Back on the floor, Rich exclaims loudly to Carl he is no quitter, Only to trip over a shoelace, fall off a stairwell and breaks his legs!

It's a year later and through Perseverance, and Possibly a huge Lawsuit that cost Carl His job, Rich is now walking again and is now manager. We also have a new generation of Staff. Guy, a Playboy, Nuts, an Indian teacher who took a second job to make ends meet, Conner, a failed actor, Mia, a Playful And Flirty Ballerina (This scene is nothing but character establishment and Mia does Ballet stretches in her lingerie for no good reason!) and Tara, (Cobie Smulders) The....Girl!

We also have Donnie, Dave's Identical twin bro....Yeah its a green screen effect....A very cheap and shoddy one, even by 2009's standards!

Conner makes his entrance, and we get Plotlines: Guy hates Dave because of his anger issues, so he bullies Donnie for looking like Dave, Guy and Conner are best friends and Conner and Mia use to date!

Conner Got fired from his acting job for Sleeping with his Co-workers, So it eases the pain telling stories of his exploits, since noone believes he was on tv!

Soon A ring-Bell starts chiming and in with Bodyguards and Entourage is Cleon Salmon meeting his Public.

So we finally get to the Plot, Salmon has lost a bet to the Yazuka and Needs Funds to pay off the debt: The Restaurant must make 20 grand TONIGHT! Or everyone is dead! And if the Yazuka doesn't Kill Rich and Salmon, Salmon will kill the manager himself! 

So Rich Lies to his Staff that he and Mr Salmon are Running a Best Server competition For Nora Jones concert tickets he had bought for his wife in the Scene previously. 

So that's the plot! Given what antics will happen to the food and customers, This film should have being called Customer Service Myths: The Movie!

So Mia uses her Womanly wiles to get "Service" (HUR HUR HUR!) Conner Schmoozes Actors and Luvvies (With a cameo by Olivia "She can't Act as a Complex Character like Psylocke, But at least she can fill out a leotard" Munn!), Donnie breaks a plate and Conner hazes him with Blue lip staining liquor. The Bottle that Donnie is Serving on the dvd cover in fact all the Dishes are On the cover are Plot points!

The Actor Conner is serving, Spencer, wants to propose to Samara (Munn) by Hiding this VERY EXPENSIVE, AND CUSTOM MADE RING! in her Dessert. The plot points on the dvd short Conner holding a chocolate moose and Rich holding the brownies the ring was put in.

(Look up in the air!)

You know, the more I look at the joke, the More it looks like a Bric....

(THUNK!)

There even more to this, if a dessert is ever sent back, The Staff have a full Understanding to eat it!

FORESHADOWING!

Mia has a Hateful Make-out session with Conner, as Donnie asks Nuts why he has that Name, And while it may be a Shortened name, Donnie is lead to believe a story about Nudity, Peanut Butter and dipping his balls into food!

Everyone is having a great service, except Guy, who is serving a Scholar reading War and Peace, and after an Hour, orders "Hot Water with Lemon"

Rich Sees that Despite the Great Service, the Total take So far is two Grand, Service started at 6pm 30 minutes ago and the Yazuka want their 20 Stacks tonight at Midnight. So Rich calls a Spa In Florida that the Champ frequents, (Pretending to be Salmon ) and books His usual Suite. It's now 7:30 and To make bank, He wants staff to sell the fourth Plotpoint item a 100 dollar full Cod. With that, there is now an element of Backstabbing now.

Meanwhile Connor returns to Spencer and Samara's Table and Order of a Brownie is made. As he passes Mia Flirting with Customers, While not happy he does help her. He wants them to work together to win the Spa Break. But Rich thinking its a call back, Eats the Brownie and swallows the ring! Because fat people will eat anything because they're fat!

FORESHADOWING HAS ARRIVED

Meanwhile, Observing Nuts' and his emerging OCD, The Med Student Tara realizes Nuts has not taken his medication. Guy uses a Stud finder to detect that the ring is on a slow Bus Journey to Brown Logs Pass if you know what I Mean!

Tara, being a Med Student asks Nuts did he take his Meds he says he has But he has not factored for Daylight Savings (We Are not told Which!) but the premise is that the Dosage he takes (Which he did forget) will not be strong Enough, But Since Connor, Guy and Donnie have to help "Retrieve" the Ring, and there is still a competition at stake, Nuts Doesn't take his meds and takes over their tables.

ONLY GOOD CAN COME OF THIS!

It's now 8:45, and Naturally Spencer wants to Know what's taking His Dessert so long, So Naturally The Soapstar is none too pleased to find out the Manager and the Dumb Fuck who ate a dessert bought and paid for with a 45 stacks Diamond inside is one and the same!

Donnie's constant drops and fuck ups means he's now drunk off the Blue Liquor. Something that pisses of the Already incendiary Dave, Causing a fight between the Actor and a stunt double in a Dubious Quality Wig. Conner in a Veiled message to Spencer that the "Souffles" will be ready in an Hour! 

Meanwhile Mia Is Flirting with every table and is feeling good about herself, that she actually does a dream sequence where she can actually do Some Ballet! However even I know, you can only do so much in Heels. The Sequence falls back into Reality when Guy Spills Microwaved Bisque onto her as she Arabesques into the kitchen!

Tara Performs First Aid on the Figuratively, Literally and Actually Red Faced Mia. Who despite First degree Burns, she still wants to win the contest.

Rich has more bad news coming his way, Not only, despite taking every Laxative known to man, The Diamond Ring is still taking the Grand tour of his colon, and stopping to take pictures, here comes Mr Salmon on a horse. He has a guest with him, a Japanese businessman who wants to Franchise his restaurant....into a Fish flavoured Candy bar!

You laugh, But here in Ireland, Denny's sells meat in supermarkets, not in a franchised restaurant!

With her Burnt face, Salmon tells Mia he wants " Other Girl" to serve him and his guests while Dave Struggles to kill a Swordfish Mr Salmon caught to feed his guests and Customers, as Rich bemoans that the Laxative is taking too long!

Salmon goes into the kitchen and Punches the Swordfish to death!

(Then Why didn't he do that to begin with? Oh right to remind the Viewer what happens to those who piss him off!)

Rich has the Numbers for the champ, It's 12 grand with 3 hours remaining. So Salmon gets his staff inside his office after learning the scam Rich is pulling, but instead adds to it, the losing server will be punched by Mr Salmon at the end of service!

Yes, Even the Women, if it comes to it! There is also a new prize 10 grand! (Yes, if you are reading this this Sentence, I see the problem, Too!) He lightly taps Guy with a Jab by accident and sends him into the wall, behind him. ("See? And I barely Touched him!) 

With Money and the Fear of Public Death as a  Motivator, The Staff begin to Sabotage and undercut each other to make 20 grand in 3 hours! They all use a table where a young couple are sitting and tell the Surrounding tables a different story to make sure "That Hero" gets a bottle of champagne on them- Only for the "Joke's" Punchline Being he's a John with a hooker, so when the restaurant applaud for him, he thinks he's being set up on a camera show and walks off, screaming he can't even get laid if he paid for it!

AND IT'S NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN!

It's a Two person race between Connor and Guy, with the women racing for third and Nuts dead last!

We have more Plot that's late to the party, as in comes Vivica A. Fox as the world famous popstar, Nutella!

DID..... DID THEY JUST NAME A CHARACTER PLAYED BY AN AFRICAN AMERICAN.... AFTER A CHOCOLATE SPREAD?

Find out how more stupid this film can get, 

NEXT WEEK,  ONLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!