Eamonn Reviews Two Night Stand

 (FOREWORD: THE CURRENT STORYLINE WILL BE MOVED TO MY OTHER BLOG, ENLIGHTENEDTOWERS.BLOGSPOT.IE, FOR REASONS TO BE ANNOUNCED THERE ON THE FIFTH OF APRIL.)

Cover is three scenes that look like something out of a women's Magazine ask the Sexpert page, with the last picture looking exactly like the "I bet he's thinking of other Women" Meme.

Let's find out How out of my depth I really am, Let's have ourselves a Two Night Stand!

The film starts with a woman waking up from a one night stand next to a Snoring Young Man. She leaves a note (with no phone Number) and goes to leave his flat, But his front door is set to an Alarm, so she scrunches up her note and puts the blankets back over her.

We cut to sometime Before, and the Woman, Megan (Annaleigh Tipton) lies about her life on a Dating site, as she eats whole gingerbread houses in her footie pajamas, while Exposition News warns us a Blizzard is about to hit the Eastern Seaboard. 

It would be an awful shame if Not-Zendaya who shares the flat has to kick out Megan for not paying her rent, So Faiza laughs at how pathetic she is for starting online dating, She invites the waste of air Megan to a birthday of a single man described as "pretty, but kinda dumb, A perfect one night Stand" It's also a birthday party so, Free Cake!

So Megan, Faiza, and her boyfriend Cedric (the former Kid Cudi) Goes to the Club, Megan is turned away for not having ID, and bumps into her ex with a new girlfriend. So Faiza encourages her to go home and get a hookup via internet dating.

Or.....and here's a funny thought....you could tell her to PAY YOU THE MONEY SHE OWES YOU FOR RENT, YOU DUMBASS!

Back at her flat, full of ennui and red wine, Megan sets her bar low and goes Online dating, Finding Alec, (Miles Teller, Yer man from Whiplash, remember when that movie was a thing?) Neither of them done this before.

So we return to the events after Megan's attempt to peace out, and Alec goes off harder, he turns it off and goes back to sleep til his Alarm goes off with some obnoxious R&B, She calls him the wrong name, she gets defensive when he implies she's done this before, though what he meant was dating in general, for the pretty girl, but turns into an argument with both cursing each other and hoping never to see the other again! But, Wouldn't You Know, Who Won The Pony? But the Blizzard has hit and Megan is trapped in Alec's Building.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQeezCdF4mk

Because it's Christmas week, there is no snow plough or Civil Engineering, for at least 2 days! Faiza and Cedric are no help since they decided to turn the flat into a love nest to forgo their lazy flatmate paying her money, if they wanted to help her (which they don't)

So stuck in the blizzard, the two one night standers have to do the impossible: get to know each other, something the unemployed waster Megan gets defensive when asked about her career, not wanting this stranger to judge her as a stupid idiot!

So anyway, Megan Clogs the Toilet because she is an Idiot....

How it happened is that In the Bathroom, Megan finds Magazines on Dating and Psychological Profiling, and I wouldn't know, I'm not exactly beating women away with a stick, But I don't think Women like being Put under the Microscope, So she Shoves the entire page down the Porcelain Throne, causing it to overflow, During a Blizzard on Christmas. Alec deals with this by getting high.

During A game of Table Tennis,  Alec wants to know about  why Megan Cannot get a Job After Medical School, to which she answers by throwing the ping pong ball into a waste disposal unit.

So is this a Running Joke? Every time she is Evasive about it she will destroy Plumbing?

So to pass the time, What do most 20-Somethings do? Watch TV? Drink?

Bzzzt?

WRONG ANSWER!

The Correct Answer is off course, Build a Pillow Fort and eat lots of Children's Cereal!

We learn that despite doing the Mary Jane, Somehow Alec is an Assistant Manager at a bank, Doing Drugs is his way of catching up with all the rebelling you're supposed to do as a teenager. Megan doesn't partake, Because she once walked on her parents Smoking weed and watching porn. Megan grew up the only one in her class to have both parents living together, so to see them like that, doing things to spice up the drudgery of marriage, may have messed her up!

A song plays on a record and Megan tells Alec not to look, Coyly saying that if she is seen dancing, he'll fall in love with her. But I think it's too late!

Because they need to fix that toilet, Alec tries to borrow a plunger from a neighbour, but since it's Christmas, people are out of town. So they break into the flat, to steal a plunger, Megan bleeding from smashing a glass window belonging to a child's room! Alec gives her a tissue that she gives back bloodied.

PLOT POINT!

Unclogging the toilet, He reads the Offending Article, literally! It was an Article  in a magazine that offended her. So Because they are still convincing each other they will never see each other again they give constructive criticisms of the opposite sex of all the mannerisms they hate. So they have sex again with the criticisms noted, but since this is Sex Scene on a comedy film, there is jokes between foreplay and even him giving her belly a raspberry.

It's the Next Morning and there is no food left so Alec has Stole from the same neighbours. So Megan reveals that she didn't become a doctor because when she was engaged she only to the course to impress those she will meet, she always wanted to be a wife and mother, only for him to cheat for saying she is too career minded and Ambitious. Looking for a sweatshirt to wear, she finds pictures and women's clothing, learning Alec is cheating on a girlfriend with her, after everything she just said, he tells her he found a dear John Letter intended for him, but Megan is still pissed about it.

As the show stops and Civil Engineers get a shift on, Megan comes home, as does Alec's Girlfriend each finding notes that point to the relationship been over. Megan deletes her account and Faiza and Cedric asks Megan to leave....as soon as their party is over!

So let's finish this!

Because dating services can only give full names and addresses to police should their clients commit a crime, Alec has the idea to pin the break in with her blood as evidence. At her soon to be former flat, her Former classmate the cute dumb guy whose birthday it was comes to talk to her, while she is blitzed out of her mind, the police arrest her for the break-in and she refuses bail, so Megan spends new year in jail than speak to the man who put there.

Cedric and Faiza make her bail and Alec arrives with flowers and Balloons to confess his love, telling her one day she'll look it and laugh, she gives him his numbers, and tells him it will never happen. She sees the balloon reads "I AM AN ASSHOLE!" To which she laughs so that means she has to call him, so our story ends with are two star-crossed lovers, jobless, homeless and with previous that will be harder to find, but at least they have each other, right?

Meh!

Sorry for not opening the final chapter with my stolen catchphrase, but this film is Meh! The acting Meh! The premise is Meh, the Direction is Meh!

It's just a big fat.....MEH!!!!!

CREDITS

Two Night Stand was reviewed, Compiled and Edited and by Eamonn Bermingham (follow me on Twitter @RealEnli)

With media from:

Two night Stand

Regular Show

Two night stand was produced by Demarast Films and Distributed by Signature Films.

NEXT TIME ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE AND THE ENLIGHTENED TOWERS BLOGS

AN EVENT THAT WILL SADLY END ONE OF OUR SERIES OF HIGHLY READ REVIEWS.

THE LAST 9 EPISODES OF CODE LYOKO!

IN 4 DOUBLE BILLS!

THIS IS MY STORYLINE EVENT FOR THIS YEAR, LIKE NO OTHER!

TICKET TO......

HEAVEN!

RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW!

Eamonn Reviews Burnt

 A GAME OF TWO HALVES AND NO QUARTER: BUSH LEAGUE HEROES

Eamonn had Returned from Earth secretly celebrating Christmas. but there was no merry-making to be found. Without Eamonn in tow, the Yearly rise of Zombie Tourists at Joe-jack's house was not quelled in October. This led to a big falling out that Eamonn is too involved with a lover and a child and a fake league of Intergalatic heroes.

We open with Said Lover, the Mara called Sabaru. on her planet Harmonis in an office looking at Blueprints and speaking into a crystal Ball with several faces on it. Yes, even magical artifacts have a conference call function.

So I've gone through The books and planning permission and it'll all good. The Planets have bought into my heroes exploits but it's not enough, which is where the Training School and Barracks comes in.

-but you are having trouble convincing the Humans?

-They'll come around, afterall, the feast is only good when you let the meat, Marinate. Correct?

Sabaru, felt a presence. 

Gentlemen, I Must go, A very large Bird has flown into my Crosshairs.

"QUE PASA, BITCH?"

Oh Beelzebub! You've come to visit! Let me Guess, "Earth is my Turf, Bitch!" Something like that?

No, Sabaru, We all know we won't be satisfied with just Earth. And whatever your endgame is. I HOPE! you spare Eamonn's feelings after it all comes falling down.

(Mara's eyes Darted as her Fake Smile became a scowl. For the Briefest of Moments, her eyes were purest pitch black, before reverting to Blue.

What is this, Satan? Professional Courtesy? Are we talking Shop? You jealous a former lackey is doing more to instill hope in the universe in one year, when you have underperformed to bring real despair to your backwater planet of hairless apes?

You are making the same mistake, i have always Made! I Underestimate the humans. I underestimated MY human! And by Making him YOUR human, when he Finds out the truth about his "Children" it will break him. And not in a way you want it to happen. Once he has no excuse to hold back, he won't!

I saw him punch His best friend to death to reseal Reality. Killing Eighties Lad, is what lead him to you. I'm warning you, Not as your former General, as your Friend, Drop this! Train real heroes. Settle for this planet. Live a REAL family life. Or keep going down the road your on, Your choice.

MY, MY MY, Beelzebub! what was that Saying again, the road to hell is paved with Good Intentions? Sorry, But being the last of my Kind, Kind of means i want to leave a parting gift to the world and if i die, why not by being surrounded by the ones i love and my own Kind?

"You're own kind, but didn't JUST you say....WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING?"

"Oh, well that would be telling, but all i'll say is....watch this space!"

SatanicOstrich Folded his Arms and Bowed his Head in Defeated Thought. and as quick as he entered, the flames Erupted under his feet and he was gone.

AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!

So Last Month I reviewed a film, I Was Generally surprised by, Badland. Will My second film i bought out of a Bargain Bin prove that  that Lightning Strikes Twice? Well Let's Dig into Burnt

"BUUURRRRRNT. ZE NU FRRRRRRAAAAGRANSSSSS BY CHRISTIAN DEEE-OR! (WITH APOLOGIES TO FRENCH SPEAKERS EVERYWHERE!)

Seriously look at this cover, It looks like a Aftershave ad! If you saw this, you would have no idea what the plot of this film was. I said it before and i'll say it again, white backgrounds and headshots are terrible covers. For comics and Dvd's

The Plot is that Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper) was a 2 Michelin Star Chef, who Threw it all away because of drugs and Arrogance.

We open in A tram in New Orleans, where we get over the shoulder view of Adam's day as he narrates. Three years ago, he was a hotshot chef in Paris, until SOMETHING! Happened that made him lose everything. Whatever the SOMETHING! was, it caused his father to kick him out of Paris. And Now he's being working in a dive bar, shucking Oysters til he had prepared 1 million, "As a Penance"

hmmmm!

HEY CHEF RAMSAY!

"HEY, BIG BOY! YOU'RE SUCH A BIG TALKER, AREN'T YA? IF YOU PUT AS MUCH ENERGY INTO COOKING AS TALKING, YOU WOULDN'T BE SO FUCKING SHIT!"

THANK YOU!

So After walking through Stock Footage of New Orleans an Airport and London. He finds himself at a hotel Owned by a man he calls "Lil Tony". We get Dumped Exposistion, turns out the SOMETHING! Was Meth, the Death of a Sous Chef, from said drug, and the abandonment of the daughter of his now dead mentor, who he left pregnant!

Big Tony invites Adam for Breakfast to discuss his plan to take over his hotel's restaurant and gain his 3rd star. As he has Breakfast he wants to me the chef he will be under, i mean over in Helene (Sierra Miller) who thinks he is a dick. you know where this going, right?

Exploring London, He Recognizes a French Sous Chef he screwed over called Michel, he runs when the Black man chases after him and attack him wanting to settle some score.

So it Turns out the Arrogant Dick, off his tits on Crank, filled Michel's restaurant with rats and called the Health Inspector. But he's here to forgive him. Back at the Hotel, Adam's Card has Bounced. So he finds a gullible fanboy called David selling Street food and tricks him into living at his house and being paid 100 pounds a week to give David Lessons. His first lesson is free. Be Arrogant, you are a chef. All Chef's are Arrogant Pricks. You need to cook with Arrogance, so your First meal of the night is as good as your last Meal. He also turn's David's kitchen into a workplace and he and his girlfriend into guinea pigs!

As Adam draws from a notebook of contacts for his takeover as he eats from a a Burger King, Helene arrives after he invited her. She is pretty uppity about the place, thus turns into a big Debate about Food Snobbery, That a 2 Euro Burger has the same cheap cuts of meat in the hotel's €20 cassoulet.

He continues on his Pretentious Tirade, Claiming that Helene hates Burger Joints because they are Consistent, and Consistent meals is like Missionary Sex. She Gets Flustered by this Statement. He claims having a Sense of Danger makes Meals Exciting.

It also Makes Adam a huge Hypocrite. Wasn't he just telling David that being a prick will make him more Consistent?

But never mind the Eventual releasing of Sexual Tension. Adam Asks the Favour of a food Critic/Former lover to stick it to Little Tony.

Simone Forde (Uma Thurman) turns up at the hotel and his kitchen is not up to par, when Tony turns and sees Adam In his whites, the penny drops; this is a setup! Desperate, Tony let's Adam have reign over the kitchen after taste the Grouse and acts like the defeated villains in Food wars!

So Adam wants the Restaurant Tony owns in London before he returns to Paris triumphant. He's building a team, David, who's a greenhorn. Little Tony, who hates him, Michel, who hates him less, Max, a guy who will be out of prison in two days, and Helene, Who Tony is worried that Adam will just bang at the drop of a hat!

Tony however sees through his game, and makes sure Adam takes regular Sobriety tests, the Doctor I'd Emma Thompson and Adam doesn't take the thing seriously

"I've taken so much, it's probably stored in my Ankles"

We meet more side characters, the Chef, Montgomery Reese who thrived after Adam crashed and burned, and the aforementioned Max, who was in jail on an assault charge. Soon Langham hotel will open, Despite Little Tony thinking Adam suffers from some sort of OCD about not having Hellene.

So he convinces Big Tony to fire Helene, So she can work for him!

Naturally, Word that Wolfgang Puckwit has Returned had not gone down well with the restaurant reviewers he didn't bang! And now Reese is here to rub it in! Naturally having a rag-tag team doesn't work out. Making a menu solely on Shock value, no longer cuts it with restaurant goers. So the next week, Adam goes in television to announce that he's Cooking at his restaurant on the house for the public for 2 weeks as Helene and her daughter, Lillie looks on!

Tony finds Helene, who is a single mother doing the school run, he tries to justify that Adam being a orphan is an excuse for him being a Douchebag. Helene Returns, But Tony had to fork out for a Sous-Vis Cooker.

Hoping to curry favour with Joe Soap, Adam Recreate a Menu of Simple Gourmet versions of English recipes, Gaining Adam's first Honest Review in years. Much to Reece's Dismay who smashes his restaurant in a Hissy Fit!

Despite the Review, Adam still believes food has to be filled with Passion and Emotion, Leading to A montage of Helene Slowly but, Obviously, Falling for him.

Now that Adam's comeback is known, The Michelin Reviewers may arrive at anytime. Tony explains how they work. Michelin sends two critics, one will stay at the hotel, the other arrives on foot, that is because the 2nd will drink and the 1st will not. One will order from the tasting menu, the other from the ala carte menu. The duo will pull out every trick in the book. Asking servers their food knowledge, ordering food to avoid an allergy, Asking for something as ridiculous as a jug of tap water, even placing a fork in the floor to see if it's picked up. So Adam wants all staff to work like they are in someone else's body. However the The French Mafia still want their Money from Adam. Helene wants the day off for Lillie's Birthday, but Adam can't lose momentum. So Adam makes a cake to make up, while Helene becomes as abrasive as Adam.

As Adam is giving his Blood sample, The Doctor tells him that Tony told her about how much he's pushing his staff and continues to distance People, Tony is worried after all, Tony is Gay and always had a crush on him for the longest time, something Adam didn't even know. He continues to distance from staff, not joining them for staff dinner.

So here's where I think this scene and the scene where Adam Bakes a cake Are out of order. At Service, Someone Orders a Cake and Adam gets Uppity about that person not being able to read that Sorbet is on the Menu and he's not using his kitchen to make a cake. (Though we see him doing that the last scene). Helene says tells Adam not to call her daughter Stupid! Yes, because Helene was not given the day off for Lillie's Birthday, she bought her here as her birthday treat! So Adam swallows Pride and makes this Rose Piped Victoria Sponge, monstrosity (IT LOOKS LIKE AN OLD WOMAN'S SWIMCAP!) And Lillie gives Adam a piece of her mind for him shouting at her Mammy!

The Next Morning, Tony tells Adam his feelings as well as Monty Reese has invited Adam to his reopening.

Adam arrives with Helene as his plus one. the trap is set as Anne-Marie, Adam's Baby Momma turns up, and Adam is upset she didn't invite him to her father's funeral. Anne tells him he had inherited Her father's Knifes.

Finding Adam upset in a fish market, Helene tells Adam about her ex-husband, and how much she thought they would always be together. Adam tells her about how He, Max, Michel and Monty all started together in Big Tony's Hotel and how they thought the same thing! But they are both the same: Both wanted something so much , the moment they put some control over it, it was gone. They and nearly shag, but Adam would only prove Little Tony Right! But only because  the Drug dealers followed him. The next Day at Service, Helene finds Adam Beaten and Bloodied and to make matters worse, A table of 2 gentlemen, had ordered and requested a jug of tap water and the waiter pick up a fork from the floor. The Michelin men have arrived.

So Adam, Angry and Possibly Cooking with a Concussion, Adam is more Belligerent as Usual, Then Disaster happens! The Michelin table have sent back their order for being too spicy.

But then Michel, reveals he put the Cayenne in the dish. He bided his time and got his revenge AT THE WORST possible time! Via Sabotage!

The revelation makes Adam go Laughing Mad. He throws his notebook of contacts into the Thames and Invades the Reece Kitchen, Drunk off his own ass to Insult Monty them tries to Kill himself suffocating himself with the bags for the Sous-vis Cooker! Adam had hit a new low, having his life saved by his enemy

Cooking his rival a Hangover Cure Breakfast, Reece gives him a sobering thought! He is Jealous of him, he cannot comprehend how he is always second fiddle to a S-class Tosspot like Adam Jones. and he figures out why! People gravitate to him because they want him to succeed! That becomes evident when Anne-Marie pays off Adam Drug debt while giving him Jean-Luc's Knifes. At the Hotel Tony has good news. he called  Michelin about Michel's Sabotage and turns out They didn't send any inspectors to London, They were two Cheapos who didn't want to pay for extra for drinks! Adam is so happy he Kisses Tony! getting him a little flustered! 

And so the Film ends with a montage showing a passage of time, when The Michelin Men do arrive. when he is told, Adam doesn't give his team any new orders because he trusts them. The order is up and we fade to black.

When we return, we see Adam and Tony giggling like schoolgirls until Adam returns to the Kitchen, the only dialogue being David announcing it's lunchtime for the staff and Everyone shocked Adam is here too!

So....did Adam win his 3rd Michelin star or.....what?

OR MAYBE THE MICHELIN STAR IS THE FRIENDS WE MAKE ALONG THE WAY!

So my final thoughts on this film and will use Food Critique parlance here. This film was Agreeable.

First the Pros.

The Director, John Wells, Definitely has an Eye for Film. For the intricate little details of the food and it's preparation. From Sienna deftly making spaghetti from dough, to salad having pomegranate seeds added one-by one with Surgical precision, to Vibrant colours to searing flames. This cinematography is Food Porn. The cast of stars are well supported by actors who are big deals back in France. And Sienna Miller can act, whenever the role requires her to wear clothes!

The Only con is pretty Simple. The Film is Boring! The Characters are one-note, the Script Predictable, the Pacing is Pedestrian. and the End which is up to debate just makes the film Hollow. A Pure 3 star film. By Next year you would have forgotten all about it!

CREDITS

BURNT was Reviewed Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (Follow me on Twitter at @RealEnli)

With Media from:

Burnt

Hell's Kitchen

Batman Beyond/Batman of the Future

Star Wars Episode 6: return of the Jedi

Burnt was Distributed by Entertainment In Video. All rights reserved. All media used belong to their respective owners.

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE.

WE CRAWL OUT OF THE BARGAIN BIN, AND REVIEW OUR LAST CATCH FROM IT. SOMETHING CALLED TWO NIGHT STAND!

Eamonn Reviews Badland: Road To Fury (known as Young Ones in America)

I'll Level with you, I never heard of this film. And I'm Sure Many haven't.

So I was planning to Fill out this review with Storyline elements for a game of Two Halves and No Quarter. I HAD NO HOPE FOR THIS FILM I JUST FOUND IN A BARGAIN BIN! 

HOW WRONG WAS I?

....Well you'll find out as you progress onward and downward, as we cross the Badland!

 ....and to the right of this desert, overlooked by a Moon so big, Linkara is foaming at the Mouth, Paul WS Anderson is Filming his wife MULTIPASS! IN THE SHITTY MONSTER HUNTER FILM NOONE WANTED!

We are off to a Bad Start, the Menu screen for the dvd doesn't even have BGM, Signature are not a big studio, but still!

And it's Just as Bare Bones the first five minutes, as it's a Soundless Credit Roll. Black Screen and tiny White Time New Roman Text!

We Truly Open to Stock Desert Footage. The World has being Plunged into Drought and a water Crisis and now Society has Crumbled, we cut 2 men in robes breaking into a Out-Building. 

The Owner of said Building is Ernest Hoult. (Michael Shannon) shoots one of the water-thieves trying to get into the well. the second feign's sadness, even pissing himself, before turning to shoot Ernest, But Dies. the Noise Alerting a Young Mailman with a Donkey who offers help.

Turns out the Mailman is in fact Ernest son, Jerome (Kodi Smit-McPhee), and Ernest is not Fond of him referred to as anything but "Dad" . In the Distant Future, there is still one thing you can rely on! One Constant-EXPOSISTION FM- BROADCASTING PLOTLINES, EVEN IN THE END TIMES!

The Us Government has agreed to Start Re-Drilling in the Western States for water, Just as Ernest's Well gives up the Ghost, But The Government Ran Pipeline is more of A protection Racket than a Service!

So in No Uncertain Terms, The Government are Screwing over smaller farmers for big Corporations, Ernest is also hinted as being a secret Drunk, as Caleb the Foreman makes a comment about how much "Ernest Hates Being Dry"

Matters Become Worse when the Donkey Trips and becomes lame and Ernest has no qualms with Putting a Bullet in the animal as Jerome hides and cries. Ernest not that heartless as he tell Jerome, never to be ashamed to cry if you have to.

Ernest has a Daughter too, named Mary (Elle Fanning) who works as a Waitress prepping Sludge like food rations and they don't get along. She sees him as the reason Mom is the Hospital. They Discuss going to Visit her but Mary sneaks out and leaves via a mystery man's Motorbike!

The Next day the Holt Boys are at a Machine Auction. The Budget of this film has gone into Making Life-Sized CGI of Lego Technic Sets. Including The Mech that will be auctioned off, a Crawler with a Carrying Basket on 4 Pneumatic Legs that give it a Canine Like walk and mannerisms. The Holts Win the Machine in a bidding war against the Son of the Local Gambling Magnate/Mayor, Fleming Lever (Nicolas Hoult) who takes the loss by Pouting at Ernest, AGGRESSIVELY!

They Visit there Wife and Mother at Hospital in Rehab for Broken Legs. She has Prosthetic Limbs over her real Legs and Is Made to stand and walk via a network of Overhanging wires. After Visiting her, they refuel at a gas station, Trying to avoid a freeloading family using their newborn to beg. Ernest only intervenes when he learns that Robbie, the father tried to sell his Baby for Water! Ernest over hears a conversation of Robbie and Jerome, Robbie quoting the sexual Conquest of his Sister by Mary's new boyfriend, ("She Tastes like Lemon, but smells like Shit!")

That is not Why it's called Cloudy Lemonade!

As Mary paints her toenails in the next scene, Fleming comes to talk to Ernest. Actually it's to call the farmer a cheat and to take back "his" Machine. He'll Let Him Rent "His" Machine. Ernest tells him he won fair and Square, Flem can use his machine for free, just radio in a day in advance. Flem tells Ernest to Screw his Bleeding Heart. It was that reason his wive's legs were broken by the Water-men.

Down on his luck, Ernest has no Choice but to work for the same men who did him wrong, to make sure his land is irrigated, so he turns his well into an elk trap. He play-fights with his son, and tells him he has arranged a girl for him, a girl in the city, with ears Sticking  out of long Chestnut hair. he also says How proud he is of his son and how worried he is for his daughter!

FORESHADOWING!

Mary is being Turned against his Father by Fleming, Angry, Ernest hammers Mary's Window shut to keep her in the house. He should have kept a few nails to fix a board onto his shed, because, his Mech gets Stolen.

Talking to Fleming's Father Sam, a Former farmer who now makes more Money hosting Pigeon Races, tells Ernest his son sees being a farmer from Scratch as a mugs Game, and in the end, water, wealth, land, it's all really about Power! He tells his friend and rival that he was heading to the Mountains, claiming the Waterworks have Supply lines there. (We are told early that's not the case. The Watermen Deliver Supplies at a trading Post.)

Ernest sneaks to the mountains to Attack Fleming, only to be ambushed by The water-men. They think Ernest, using the mech that had being Branded with his name and Address, had returned alone to steal more supplies. Caleb and Ernest have a fight, Caleb losing his Switchblade, with his name on it into Ernest's shirt pocket in the tussle. Leaving, Ernest finding his mech, and Flem, Pouting in his sleep. The next Morning Flem, tied up and his Mecha are marched back to the waterworks to settle with Caleb. With no water, but only Vodka to drink. Ernest makes some bad decisions that will spell his end, first he unties Flem, then he reveals he found Caleb's knife on him. Then Flem Starts talking Shit about Mary. ("You only have Mary Around to Cook and Sew. Give her to me and she'll do more than that!") Fleming takes a swing at the drunk but you don't have to see straight to shoot at Point blank Range!

Waking from his Drunk Stuper, The farmer sees a Bloodied and Pissed off Fleming towering over him. Setting up the tied down man as Bottle after Bottle is poured down his throat, Screaming over the screams given by Ernest. Fleming later drives Mary away but Jerome sees a bottle of vodka rations with his father's name on it in his Jacket pocket. Jerome goes to the Waterworks with Supplies as a peace offering, where Caleb, usually Brash and Uncouth, tell Jerome the sad news, there has being an accident involving his Father and his mech

The entire town is shocked to learn of Ernest's death, Now Flem can make his move on Mary! Jerome takes a hammer to destroy the Mech (in a nice touch the air leaving the Pneumatic legs sound like a dog's whimper!), Flem has wormed his way into the Family, and it get's worse. Mary is now Pregnant!

Using Caleb's Flick Knife as Collateral, Fleming Blackmails The Watermen to make them Redirect the Supply through Holt Farm's New Well, As a Gift to the community and a tribute to their Fallen Friend, of Course (!)

Soon, the Fields regrow fresh and green, then blossom into Golden Wheat! Soon Mary marries the Murderer, But his conscience stings every time he sees Knifes and vodka.

But soon Sam Arrives to tell his son, Ernest has had the last laugh: the bank had foreclosed the land for years and now it's profitable, the bank is now interested. So Flem does the unspeakable, he tricks Robbie into stealing the mech to sell and split the money, use said mech as a pram, sell the Freeloader's Baby in lieu of his own to pay off the bank, and Robbie gets shot dead when he realizes it's not the mech that's being sold.

However after the biker gang uses the mech as target practice,  the reason Jerome can destroy the Shadow is that if the Mech gets damaged. It's warranty program will make it return to the address of it's dealership.

The Auctioneer calls to inquire about the Mech, and Jerome starts out to cross state lines, which he can't on his own at age 14.

Luckily he happens across the girl he was promised to, a chicken farmer named Anna, who smuggled him across the border.

So going to the dealership, Jerome learns that the Mech Records EVERYTHING, the murder, the blackmail, The Baby Sale. Jerome is distraught about what he learnt but telling Mary the truth will destroy her. So he just wipes the Mech's memory. He does plan on making Flem stew In his juices. But Fleming Is too slippery for the Honest farmboy, so he plays him at his own game, a Blackmail letter "From Robbie"

So let's finish this!

Paranoid about his power slipping away, Flem has fallen for Jerome's trap, he falls into a pitfall, breaking his legs, with Jerome standing over him. He pleads as Jerome says nothing, he knows dead or alive, In some way he will hurt Mary and the baby and he cries, but once again, Flem can't stop talking, and him calling Jerome "a good boy" repeatedly in a condescending tone, and it causes Jerome to shoot Fleming Dead, and it with that, Jerome returns telling Mary nothing about what he did...A secret he'll keep forever as he erases the Shadow's memory a second time!

THIS FILM IS SUPERB

Forget that this film was shot at a budget, Forget it was Shot in a Desert to save money, Forget Nicolas Hoult is as Physically Imposing as a barking Chihuahua, This Film is Superbly cast and Acted, and Curse my own Artistic Bias for thinking this would be a one-and Done review, just because i found it in a Bargain Bin. This was a good Post Modern Western. and Not all Westerns have to be Horses and Genocide, Good Westerns are like the Good Sci-Fi, They are Human Stories! The Searchers, There will be Blood, True Grit, The Grapes of Wrath, and Now this. Stories of Hardship and Hope and Conniving Villains and The Grit and Urge to Survive. That makes a good western. and overall a good film. This film receives a lot of 3 stars and Above Average ratings but really this film needs more love!

CREDITS

BADLAND: ROAD TO FURY (known as Young Ones in America) was reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)

With Media from

Badlands Road to Fury

MST3K

Badland: Road to Fury was Produced by Signature Films

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. All media used belong to there respective owners.

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!

THE EMOTIONS IN THIS FILM ARE RAW! IT'S RAAAAAAAAWWWWWW! IT'S FUCKING RAW! WHO MANY GORDON RAMSEY MEMES CAN I FIT INTO MY REVIEW OF BRADLEY COOPER'S BURNT?

THE Suicide Squad part2

 To Start where we left off, The army storm into the room to see Harley (Margot Robbie) has shot General Silvio Mateo Dead. and once again becomes a prisoner. Now General Cortez Luna is in Command, as we cut to Polka Dot Man, Relapsing from his Power Incontinence, He tells the other's his backstory, His mother experimented on her own Children in an attempt to make them Superheroes. Many Died. His power is a inter-dimensional Sickness, In short, Expunge the powers, every day, twice a day, for the rest of your life, your body is eaten away by the black hole inside you, sooner! Also he sees his mother in Everyone, including the squad, and i don't want to say that Lynn Ashe, the actress that plays Mrs Krill looks like Chris Chan, But....

THAT'S UNFORTUNATE!

So the Squad are Guided by Solidad, the surviving resistance fighter, after the rescue/Dick Measuring contest Peacemaker and Bloodsport had, introduces an Ally, a Cowardly truckdriver named Milton!, who will drive them into town to the red light District to kidnap The Thinker (Peter Capaldi). He also supplies them with Disguises, (Expect King Shark, despite insisting on a Fake Moustache) Back in Belle Reve, Waller (Viola Davis) reminds Bloodsport his daughter's freedom is at stake, an Underling asks if Governess Waller is going to far, She tells him he doesn't know her well!

Like, it's not like she will inject the Future Father of  Batman Beyond with Bruce's Wayne's Sperm to Ensure we will always have a batman, right?

Ratcatcher explains her backstory, while her Father was a Coke addict who uses rats to steal to fuel his habit, she still sees his death as a fault of SOCIETY! Bloodsport (Idris Elba) explains his fear of rats come from his strict father locking him a Crate full of rats!

Finally Finding the Red Light District, they Get Rat-Arsed waiting for the Thinker, Even Ratcatcher's Rat Sebastian, gets More Rat-Arsed! Even Abner loosens up, though her sees the strippers as his mam!

Thinker Arrives and Bloodsport Kidnaps Him, Just as the soldiers raid the bar! Bloodsport tells Ratcather and Polkadot Man to take Greaves, while He, Peacemaker (WHO'S NAME IS JOHN CENA!) and Flag are arrested. They are being Brought to where Harley is being held!

We Cut to Harley being tortured ,but being in a Good Mood about it! Once again, this series of films has never stated that Harley has the same invulnerability Joker has from Drowning in the same chemicals he did. OR....

While the other's try to rescue her, Harley rescues herself by having the most Violent Musical Interlude ever, Even finds Her Javelin! Even Surprising Flag, "I can go back Inside if you want!"

So as their Ticket In, Thinker Brings the Squad behind enemy lines, while Peacemaker and King Shark plant C4 on the walls of Jotumheim.

Inside Jotumheim, Sebastian (Ratcatcher's rat) Squeals in Distress. the Reason? Hundreds of Zombies with their Faces covered in Spores, Dead the moment the Spores make Contact, but experimentation on the bodies show them kept Alive even by Vivisection, so long as the spore keeps on the face of the Victim. Flag lets out an exclamation of "Good God!" The Thinker, replies with this!

"GOD? IF STARRO WAS PROOF OF A GOD, THEN YOU WOULD THINK, GOD WAS NOT GOOD AT ALL!"

Starro Has grown giantsize as Thinker spouts some Home Truths

"STUPID AMERICAN SPACE COWBOYS TAKE STARRO TO HAVE A FEW DRUNKEN PHOTOS! YANKIE FUCKING DOODLE DANDY TAKE HIM TO MAKE HIM A WEAPON AGAINST THE RUSSIANS! BUT INSTEAD THEY PICK SOME ROCK NOONE HEARD OF TO COVER THEIR TRACKS! "

Flag had taken a hard-drive as evidence that the Government was Responsible for Starro. But Peacemaker, too narrow-minded in his Patriotism, Is Waller's ace in the Hole, Peacemaker pulls a gun on Flag and Ratcatcher as Jotumheim crumbles around them!

Ratcatcher wakes to find herself trapped with a freed Starro and the Thinker. After 3 decades of Torture and the Rape of his female Thralls, takes it out on Greaves in Gruesome Fashion. Let's just say that if a relationship is that bad for so long some "Splits" are easier than Others!

The Blood Splatter against the window, that was The Thinker, wakes up Flag and Peacemaker, who restart their Fight Over the Harddrive Flag pocketed, ending with Peacemaker Stabbing Flag in the heart with a piece of Shrapnel (Even showing a Horrific External Shot of the Blow!) Peacemaker realizes what he done, with Flag, bleeding from the mouth, utters his last words! (Peacemaker? what a Joke!) Ratcatcher runs in and grabs the hard-drive, only for Peacemaker to aim his pistol at her temple!

Cut to 8 Minutes ago, Harley and the rest of them plant the last C4, As King Shark (voice of Sylvester Stallone, wandered off into an Aquarium, finding alien Squids and play with him. Polkadot man drops some C4, and uses his powers to save the others from attack, accidentally, setting off the explosion in the present day. The Aquarium shatters, flooding all the top floors of Jotumheim, and the alien Squids start attacking Shark for his blood, Oh and Milton is dead!

Jotumheim falls in a cascade of Rubble and Water, King Shark is shot up by Luna's Soldiers only to be eaten by Nanawae! Bloodsport lands right in front of Peacemaker, who have a shot out, Bloodsport's bullet pierces Peacemakers and finds his Artery in his Neck and chokes on his blood! Bloodsport takes the hard-drive from Ratcatcher, hopefully using it as a bargaining chip later!

Free from his Prison, Starro's Conquest Begins, taking Control of Everyone with his Spores, even General Luna. Waller wants the Squad to Stand Down, Destroying Jotumheim was the mission, nothing else! So When the 5 all come down with a Dose of Morality, Waller threatens to detonate the bombs in their heads, Until one of the mission control Knocks out Mrs Waller with her own golf club!

SO LET'S FINISH THIS!

With Bloodsport's biggest Gun, King Shark's Hunger and Polkadot Man's Mammy Issues, they put a dent into Starro, But Polkadot Man Dies by being crushed to death! But Ratcatcher has brought reinforcements, given it's a slum in a 3rd world country-MILLIONS OF RATS swarm the Monstrous Invertebrate. Harley LE PARKOUR's on a roof, Piercing Starro's Single Eye with the Javelin, Swimming inside she leads the rats to eat Starro from the inside. Only for Starro through Luna, to tell the Squad, that all it wanted to do was float in space once more!

BITCH PLEASE!

You Named yourself STARRO THE CONQUERER! Your Species is Called the STAR DESTROYERS! You function by siphoning Energy from planets and its lifeforms. YOUR VICTIM CARD HAS BEING REVOKED!

Despite Corta Maltese's freedom, it's Bittersweet, Yes It's free but all those under Starro's Thrall are also Dead. Yes Bloodsport has leverage against Waller. but he's going back to prison and so the Film ends with the remaining Squad on the chopper tired but now excepting of each other, even Bloodsport allowing Sebastian to curl up on his lap! WE GET 2 STINGERS, Weasel is alive and stuck on Corta Maltese, and So Is Peacemaker ready for this NETFLIX SERIES!

THIS FILM IS GOOD! YOU MAY EVEN ARGUE IT'S GREAT!

You thought I would never have anything nice to say about "Harley Quinn's Ass, Featuring the Sui-SHITE Squad 3", but James Gunn, made it work! Despite the Generals being Forgettable Villains, (Luna has to kill Birds to establish, he's evil!) The film is supported by Broad Characters brought out by great actors and break neck Action! Robbie was no longer the focus of the film, though she did strike the finishing blow, all the characters had resolution. Danelia Mechior, as Ratcatcher 2, despite a OC was played with such heart and Hardship behind it. John Cena with his presence and Pleasant New England Voice was perfectly cast as a flag-waving Psychopath. Stallone was a one man (shark?) Meme Machine! But The nod goes To Peter Capaldi, who picked up the slack in the performance as the repulsive, Morally Corrupt Thinker! Did it veer into Scenery Chewing?  Absolutely! AND IT WAS WHAT WAS NEEDED! We Don't know if this is the Last Suicide Squad film, or just Robbie's Last, but Good god, what a way to go out!

CREDITS

THE Suicide Squad was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited in 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on Twitter!)

With Media from

The Suicide Squad

Superman Comics

Batman Comics

The Flash Comic

He-man and the Masters of the Universe

All media used belongs to their Respective owners. All Rights Reserved!

THE SUICIDE SQUAD Was Produced by Warner Bros and the Trademark is owned by DC Comics!

NEXT MONTH ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!

A BUNCH OF OSCAR WINNING SUPPORTING ACTORS PICKED UP THE CALL TO HAVE A STARTING ROLE...WITHOUT CHECKING THE CALLER ID SAID SYFY!

IT'S YER MAN FROM THE THING, AND OTHER FANNING IN BADLANDS-ROAD TO FURY!

AVENGERS CONFIDENTIAL-BLACK WIDOW/PUNISHER

 So is this a film or PS1 Video Game?

Why does Iron-Man look more emotive than Thor, Why does Hulk look like he's reacting like he nicked himself shaving? And why is Black Widow waist smaller than her head? What is this Cover?

Well I can tell you what this cover is.

False Advertising!

As this film is not 3D, But a 2D Anime.

We open in Seattle, In One of Many Safehouses of the Vigilante Frank Castle, Aka the Punisher watching A News Report on a Mass Shooting, At the same It's Been Monitored By Black Widow.

After a sped through Opening Sequence, We Open With Solid Frank in level one of Metal Gear Punisher! Told you it was a Video Game! Complete with Gratuitous Violence and Loud Screeching Guitar Music! 

Punisher has Shook down an Arms Dealer called Kane, Much to the Annoyance of SHIELD, Who were tracing him whoever was supplying him Weapons.

Black Widow Confronts Castle, But he Blows her off, and tries to Leave But a wind blows behind him and Widow is in front of Punisher again.

For the Record, Black Widow does Not have teleportation Powers, So this was either Artistic Licence to show how fast she is, Or It's the Trademark Bullshit of the executive Producer, Joe "One More Day" Quesada.

So the Mercenaries fight, Until Fury arrests Punisher. Castle Badmouths Fury, until Widow Shoots him with Tranquilizers. In the Commotion, Kane has Gotten Away.

When Frank comes to Nick tells Castle so stay out of Shield's Business. Castle tells Fury that Shields by the book lawfulness Doesn't cut it on Street level. Fury tells Castle who he just pissed off. LEVIATHAN (The Splinter Cell of Hydra)

There is a Mole in Shield, Leviathan has stolen Schematics of the Wakefield Lazer Rifle, A gun with a core that shoots Plasma, Not Light. They have Manufactured them and Kane has sold them on Street level. Fury wants to know where Kane is getting the weapons, So Punisher says he will Tell Fury all he knows about Kane, for his freedom. But since We are making offers, Fury Counter offers his freedom, but Black Widow keeps an eye on him.

We Cut to Skovena, a former Commie Block, Where Black widow gives us an info dump on Leviathan.

They Stumbled to a lab which was used to make Biological weapons, that was officially closed 20 years ago after an accident. But here it is, seeing use. Sneaking inside, they find Kane and 1000s of Canisters Containing Humanoid Bodies! Punisher wants to settle it with Kane, So Castle and Widow have another fight

Or Should I say, THE EXACT SAME FIGHT? Since they refused Scenes from the first fight! I GET IT! Animation costs Money and reusing Scenes is a necessary evil, But thing is not a cheaply made cartoon! this is Not one of Corus' Unfunny Fart Jokes, This is a Film by Marvel Co produced by Sony. 

WHERE YO MICKEY MOUSE AND MINIONS MONEY AT, BITCHES?

Capturing Kane, Punisher demands answers. Until Kane Blinds him with his Light Mode Phone screen. When Punisher comes too, he only finds the phone.

Black Widow Infiltrates the lab further, Until she is Attacked by a man clad in Red Armour. She finds out that it's Elias Starr, Her former Lover, assumed dead. So he was the Traitor. So turns out He's Taken Leviathan's offer so he can be a SuperSoldier level Human like Natasha, Who is shocked on why he thought doing all this would impress her?

So Because Eli-ASS here has been told not to wait up at night too many times, He's Joined the Comunazis, thinking Widow will buy his excuse of "I Have Superpowers too!.....

But since Natasha is good at her job, She uses Elias to get an audience with Orion, the leader of Leviathan. Elias tells Widow that the Canisters contain Volunteered Spies and Soldiers from all over and the liquid is  his own Concoction of  Super Serum. But Too angry with him, she Knees him in the Junk. So Elias and widow have their recycled Fight Scene. Elias maybe a pussy, but he is Tough!

Shield's On Field Equipment is not powerful enough to trace Kane's Phone. Luckily, SHIELD has something in it's Istanbul HQ that can help.

More like Someone.

Amadeus Cho, Boy Genius and Tech Guy of the New Warriors, aka the Junior Avengers. At this Point he's Still Human, not sure if he's the Iron Spider.

 

But Nowadays he's Now The Kid-Hulk.

Trivia aside, Amadeus can decode Kane's Phone, But all it does is cause a countdown and the White Flash of Light, Turns out the Flash is a Mind Control Program, But they all took it head on and only Castle was Affected. Looks like The flash cannot work on Modified Humans like Widow, Or Geniuses like Cho. In other words, Man-With-A-Gun-Man starts whaling on everyone, Killing 3 men in the process.

Cho doesn't know how to Deactivate the Phone so he just Jettisons it. When the timer reaches 0, Castle Snaps out of it. Shocked, Castle allows himself to be Arrested. Widow Briefs Fury, Who knew about the Brainwashing. Which Is why he Put Widow and Castle together for this mission, Fury couldn't allow the More Powerful Avengers like a Thor or Hulk to be compromised, so if they were mindcontrolled, they would be easier to kill. Fury does have a valid Point, Since It seems to only effect Normal People. If Kane were to use it on the General Population, he could amass an army. Fury also reveals that Elias Star also stole the Hulk's Blood sample to make the Bio-Soldiers!

Punisher is broken out of Prison by Black Widow to speak to an informant in Hong Kong, he tells him that Leviathan is running an Auction In Mandipor, Tonight. On a tv screen, A single Bio-Soldier, Destroys Dubai.

In Mandipor, Many Supervillians (The Manticore, Doctor Doom, Avatar, Dracula and Baron Zemo) have an interest in a Army of Bio-Soldiers. The two arrive to stop the auction with Punisher killing the Bio-Soldiers. But Natasha says not to, they are innocent Men who were experimented on. No, we are told that they are Spies who volunteered to be experimented on , so they may have blood on their hands also. Luckily the Hulk and Cho arrive and Give Castle a Visor that coats the eyes in Nanotechnology.

Hulk and Punisher deal with the Biosoldiers while Widow has unfinished with Eli-ASS! Elias with all the Nice Guy, Smol PP Energy is the world is now match for a Woman Scorned. So Elias Gets the Evil Bitch-slapped out of him!

Let's Finish this!

The other Avengers arrive and beat up Doom, Manticore and Avatar like a bunch of No-names. (Seriously Doom is the most famous of the 3 and he's given no lines!) Elias and widow Confront Orion a Putz in a Knock-off Iron man Suit, So Naturally he gets Stomped, Being Stupid enough to mentally bond The Bio-Soldiers to his will, When he's Knocked out the Bio-Soldiers DIE! When Orion comes to. he blast Natasha with a laser, which Elias takes instead In a Heroic Sacrifice. Punisher kills Orion as Elias Bleeds out and Apologizes to Widow. Fury is pissed that Orion was to be taken alive so he arrests Punisher. But Widow Frees him....with ARMED SHIELD AGENTS IN EARSHOT! And so our story ends with Castle finding Kane and Shooting him dead!

THIS FILM IS....OKAY!

The artstyle is a jarring mix of Uncanny Anime and Liefieldesque Thick Black Lines, The action feels like a videogame Cutscene or An AMV, scenes are reused despite now being owned By the Evil Empire, Orion is a disappointing Villain to build up to. The only thing that's carrying this film is the voice acting.

CREDITS

Marvel Avengers Confidential was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)

With Media from

Marvel Avengers Confidential

Steel and steam Productions on Youtube

Marvel

Jontron

Marvel Avengers Confidential: Black Widow/Punisher is Distributed by Marvel Studios and Sony

The Avengers Is Property of Marvel Comics

All rights reserved. All Media Used Belong to their respective owners.

Meanwhile in Solar System.....

a Galactic G-Men Crusier Sped out of a wormhole. Eamonn woke from Cryosleep to look at the Blue Planet.

"Computer, Set a Course to the Alpine Temperature Land mass the Locals Name Ireland...Oh, and keep this trip on the downlow!"

I'm Coming home....For Christmas!  

NEXT MONTH....

IN THE YEAR ENID BLYTON GOT CANCELLED SIXTY PLUS YEARS AFTER HER DEATH, I UNVEIL A CRACK REVIEW OF A RANDOM NODDY DVD!

"GOD GOOD I HAVE A BUSY MONTH!"

Eamonn Reviews Fighting With My Family part 2

 In the End, Paige (Florence Pugh)  is the only one to will go to Florida To Train. Paige Confronts Shane (Vince Vaughn) about not picking Zack (Jack Lowden). Zack tells his sister to do it for herself and not the family. Paige concedes, but she's not happy with it!

The Family are both shocked and delighted that Paige is going, So she goes to her room to pack. Here we have Glaring Inaccuracy number 3. this time the wrong female belt is used. Paige picks up a homemade childhood version of the Defunct Diva's Title and when Paige was a child the belt was the now reinstated Women's title! They could have given us 1 minute of dialogue to explain that, but no!

Ricky (Nick Frost) and Jools (Lena Headley) say their goodbyes at Luton Airport, But not Zack, he couldn't bring himself to say goodbye. And soon the Pylons of Norwich, "the Mustard Capital of the world" is replaced by The Palm trees of Tampa Florida, "The Sunshine State" She enters the shared flat and meets her room-mates, 3 Bikini Clad Bimbos, all using Original names, including one called Jeri Lynn as a joke to the Indie Veteran. He even tweeted about. It's because they don't want the three real life Women, (and wrestling fans have a fair idea who they might be!) to sue over being portrayed as the check-chasing Cum Dumpsters that they were.

1st Day of Training and Paige is impressed by the Gym, This is not the Rinky Dink Promotion her dad owns. Shane returns as a Coach. Paige is pushed to her Limit, while in England, Courtney gives birth to Zack's Child, who is happy, but he worries about the Future!

The Next day, And it's Promo Training and Shane tells Paige her Stolen Promos from 20 years ago, will not fly with American Fans who heard it before! She needs a catchphrase that no-one has heard before! 

*SPOILERS* (BUT NOT REALLY!) But i wont tell Paige to put a patent on the Phrase "THIS IS MY HOUSE!" JUST SAYIN'

Meanwhile, Zack is taking Hardcore Matches to make ends meet, after one nasty match with him being slammed into thumbtacks, He Calls Shane to Asking for a Second Chance, Shane Coldly tells him to let go and work on being a father when Zack Brings up his child.

Paige is In Training with the stand-in character for whoever was stupid enough in real life to throw a real punch and got hit with a real punch from Paige a second time she did it. Because A person who doesn't know what they are doing in wrestling is Dangerous.

As Opposed to Sasha Banks, Who Did know What she was Doing!

When Krysten Botches again, Paige slaps her as a "Receipt", Or Revenge. This Brings in Shane who tells Paige to Apologize, Even Getting Angry with Paige.

That Night's Video Call to her Family, It's Revealed Zack's Son is called Calen. Saraya Tells Paige not to Worry about the other Girls. They are Just Bikini Models who were just hired to be Tits and Ass! Ricky tells Paige In earshot of Zack, That They'd hire any Idiot. I would say Ricky Bevis would not win Father of the Year, but then again the Real Ricky Bevis thinks Child Labour Laws are Child Labour....SUGGESTIONS !

Just as I say that, it's revealed the Wrestling class is now a Sweatshop for Paige Dolls!

Though she's Worried about Getting to the" Main Roster"-i.e, the Televised Shows. If Paige fails now it would be like she never existed. But her family are proud of her, now matter what!

A House Show In Florida and Jeri, Madison and Kirsten are introduced to a lecherous crowd of Teenage Boys and Men. When Paige comes out in an AC/DC t-shirt and Shorts the Crowd go silent. All the Body Issues and Heckles get to her, and she chokes. She leaves the Arena alone, passing the bimbos giving out autographs to the fans. On Both Sides of the Pond, The Bevis Children are Suffering. Paige Dyes her hair Blonde out of an Identity Crisis and Gets rid of her Goth Makeup and Piercing. Zack Takes to the Drink even More and Ignores Calen's Cries. Shane hates the Change Paige makes and it has affected her way she works, failing in a simple training exercise.

On the Bus Journey Home, Paige assumes the 3 Bimbos behind her are laughing at her behind her back. Kirsten Reveals she was showing the others pictures of her daughter. Paige is shocked that Kirsten even has a child. But Of Course Paige wouldn't know, she doesn't know anything about anyone else, after all, Kirsten, and the others are just "TITS AND ASS!" Quoting Paige's Mother!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCjNlmyMgEI

Stopping at a Gas Station, Shane Explains why Zack Didn't get picked. He's a Journeyman, he's picked up to many bad habits from working in the Indies. And it has made Zack take the Hardcore matches to please the fans back home and one day it's gonna lead to him "Jumping off a 30ft cage just so people can talk about him!"

OH, YOU MEAN LIKE EVERY SHANE MCMAHON MATCH, EVER?

.....At least Film Shane Brings up that's exactly the case, the Problem is that a problem that many films have had Before. "Show, DON'T Tell" and the thing is in the 2 Montages of wwe clips, i don't remember if they included any clips of Shane!

It's Close to Christmas and everyone is heading home for the Holidays. Shane tells her to mull over her life during Christmas.

Back Home in Norwich and Ricky and Saraya Put Paige in a match against Zack. Backstage Zack is told by Paige she wants to Quit, which makes Zack Very Angry. Angry enough not to stick to the Script. the Jealousy comes out in a rotten Way, not only by Winning the match but by winning using a Piledriver, a move that is banned in Indie Promotions like Ricky's for Concussion Issues. When the Other Family members call out Zack, He tells them what he was told, that Paige wants to quit, she wants to let the family down, more than he ever could! Paige Clarifies by saying she wants to quit wrestling outright, that she has no Identity beyond wrestling. Hell She was doomed at the start: her Birthname is her mother's Ringname!

Paige is Moping in her Childhood room, when Saraya comes in to tell her that Zack is Missing. In the Van, Saraya berates Ricky for pushing his children too far, Roy's in Prison, Zack thinks he's failure and Paige is Miserable! They Find Zack in a bar picking fights, as a jukebox plays Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and wine, a song about Goodwill and Human Kindness.

Zack Confronts Paige throwing away his dream. Paige tells Zack why he wasn't picked. So Zack won't be WWE champion. But look at the things he has. He has A wife and baby who loves him, a school of students who hang on every word. He's teaching a blind boy how to wrestle, how many World Champions would be capable of that? She Finishes by saying that she was always reluctant to follow in the family's footsteps, but this was HER dream too!

With a lot to contemplate, Paige return decides to Return to Florida, Striking a Happy Medium, Her Black hair and Gothic look with Ring Gear that shows off her Midriff. It's also a change in attitude, as she goes from Class-Know-It-All to Locker Room Leader, Helping out the Other Girls. Soon they are having Competitive matches. and Soon 8 trainees become 6 and they will be having a Dark Match, or Untelevised Match at Wrestlemania 30, (Which the next night, The Real Paige did Debut on the raw tv show after That event, so they got that one right at least!)

Meanwhile, Roy Knight from his stint in prison. During the show, and after the match Paige had, She meets the Rock again and they call Paige's Parents. At first Ricky thinks it's a prank call, and hangs up! Paige redials and the Rock tells the Knight family some big news. Paige's time in NXT is over....Because tomorrow night on Raw, On worldwide Television, Paige is not only making her debut but facing the Diva's Champion AJ Lee for her title.

WHY IS THE ROCK TELLING THEM THIS AND NOT SHANE?

The Rock is, and also at the in 2009, a part-timer and even then, had no sway in hiring people or Booking matches in any way!

So Paige will Face the Longest Reigning Diva's Champion at the time, Aj Lee (WHO IS NO LONGER THE LONGEST CHAMPION EVER, IT'S NOW JOHN CENA'S FORMER CUMDUMP, NIKKI BELLA!) AJ Lee like her Husband, CM Punk, are now considered firebrands by wwe management, (April "AJ LEE" Mendez-Brooks would release a autobiography after her retirement "Crazy is my SuperPower" Claiming Everything from systemic Bullying and Trying to Make her Real -Life Manic Depression into a Gimmick, so naturally they had to get a stand in, Played by Current wwe Wrestler Zelina Vega...Dressed as Zelina Vega. This is what Zelina Looks like in her ring gear.

Not Pictured: Traditional Knee Caps and Wrestling Boots, which most wrestlers wear as standard!

This what AJ LEE LOOKED LIKE AT THE TIME!

Seriously, they couldn't find Zelina a Grateful Dead T-Shirt, Jean Shorts and Black Tennis Shoes to wear? The Only thing they got Right, was the Hair Colour and Skin Tone!

So Meanwhile, in England Zack is keeping Roy on the Straight and Narrow, and both feel Proud when Callum, the Blind Boy, Does a Moonsault (A Backflip off the toprope onto a prone person!) This ragtag Promotion may make it after all...That is until the next time Ricky Knight has summons for Breaking Child Labour Laws!

And So Our Ends with With Paige having a Panic Attack before her Debut. Until Zack Rings her to wish her luck. Aj Lee make an Open Challenge and...YOU KNOW THE REST!

Ok, for those who Don't Paige beats AJ Lee, breaking her 300+ day reign as champion. Becoming the youngest champion in wwe ever, Using what was Zack's finisher, now forever known as the Paige Turner!

THIS FILM IS OKAY!

First, Kudos To Florence Pugh for actually Getting in Shape to do close up wrestling shots though she did have a stunt Double. The Jokes are funny, the Story Touching and Grounded despite the Niche Circle that is Wrestling and you are rooting for the Underdog from Minute one.

Unfortunately, if you do watch Wrestling, the Inaccuracies will just Piss you Off! and the Layer of Sacchirine and Rose-Tinted Glasses about Paige's Childhood and her Scummy Parents are reaching Levels Not seen since the Film, The General! They are Trying to Portray Ricky Bevis, Just like They Did with Martin Cahill in the General, as Family Men, trying to provide for their families.

With This Being said, this was Florence Pugh's Starmaker Film, Her next film Role was The remake of Little Women, which always makes a Tidy Sum. Not a Bad First Outing as a producer By Dwayne Johnson, But Just like his Show, Young Rock, Johnson doesn't Let something like the Truth get in the way of a good story!

CREDITS 

Fighting With my Family was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited By Eamonn Bermingham (RealEnli)

With Media From In Part 1:

Bleacher Report

E!

Fighting With My Family

Superman Returns

WWE

AND IN PART 2

WWE

Dragonball Z Abridged

Bad Movie Beatdown.

Fighting with My Family was Co-Produced by Film4 And WWE Studios and Distrubuted by Lionsgate and MGM. All rights Reserved. All Media used belongs to their Respective Owners.

NEXT TIME!

IT'S THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL AND OUR OLD PALS AT HORROR CHANNEL COULDN'T DECIDE TO RIP-OFF JURASSIC WORLD, THE HUNGER GAMES OR READY PLAYER ONE!

SO THEY RIPPED OFF ALL 3 AT ONCE!

NEXT MONTH THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL IS THE JURASSIC GAMES!

EAMONN REVIEWS FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY, THE FEEL GOOD STORY ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO F##KED HER LIFE UP STRAIGHT AFTER IT'S RELEASE!

 (PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE)

Eamonn has left Earth to join the Galactic G-men. A police made of Being from other realities and Planets, in actual fact it is a League Of Heroes. Using their Exploits to won the Hearts and Minds of Millions of Sapient Worlds. When we Last Left off. Eamonn was on a Desert Planet. Hunting a Gorgon and inadvertently woke the She-beast. 

Hiding behind a hoodoo, letting off a girlish scream, Eamonn turned to fire a few shots from his laser pistol. He just hits air. He reaches his Comm-Link by Pressing button on his visor.

This is Lt. Bermingham of Earth, I have lost Visual on Gorgon. Requesting Pickup.

"REQUEST DENIED! PROCEED AS INSTRUCTED! "

...Shit....

Around Eamonn all he heard were Hissing and Mocking Laughter. He turned to see The Gorgon. Using it's tail like a chair it posed like it was waiting for Eamonn to finish his call. she then waved like a friendly Girl. It was supposed to be disarming. But the tress of Snaked Headed Hair coiling making jabs at Eamonn with their Fangs, was Disarming Enough.

hi there Terran....Aren't You Lost? she asked seductively, a blue Substance pooling behind  her lips.

"ERR...I supposes any attempt on Conversation or Confrontation will Not end well?"

"MMMMM.......Very Clever for A Human...It's so long I had to work for a meal" she said as she tackled Eamonn to the Ground. Getting closer to the Prone Human she inhaled his scent. and then got up in terror. Her snakes in confused Disarray."

"You...REEK OF AN APEX PREDATOR...." Her attitude changed when he opened to the Cognitive Void.

"NOOOOO! I WILL NOT GO BACK I WILL NOT BE HUNTED, PLEASE YOUR APEX IS A LIAR! SEEK OUT THE OTHERS! FIND THE PATTERN BEFORE IT DOOMS YOUR PLANET!

(The Portal sucked her back into the Void, causing a heavy breeze that took to Eamonn's Poncho.

"And what the hell was that all about?"

AND NOW, OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!

This Month Both of My World's Combine Once more as I review A film about Wrestling, Produced by, and Featuring, Dwayne Johnson, A former Wrestler in the story of a another Former Wrestler.

Saraya-Jade Bevis, Professionally known as Paige, was WWE's First British Women's champion, as well as the 1st champion to be born in the 90S. She is a second generation wrestler and this is the feel good story to that point in time that she won the belt from AJ Lee for her first reign!

...Then in the Year this film was released, Paige career was ended after taking an unprotected drop kick to the back of her head, her sex-tape was released, she was fired from her cushy on-screen general Manager role because of it, and went on an abusive coke-fueled affair with former wrestler Alberto El Patron, and Now....

Our cover is a group shot of our 6 key Players. With Florence Pugh as Paige, Leaning against the  Ropes and turnbuckle, Oozing confidence, with the other 5 standing behind her. For those saying this could be Better if there was a crowd behind her, this is fine, this film is about her rise to stardom, not as her as a star. Also I like the Font used for the Title Logo. It reminds me of the old school wrestling and Boxing posters. One thing i don't like is the Director. It's the Unfunny Giant, Stephan Merchant. So will this film be filed under the Unfunny Films of Ricky Gervais and Stephan Merchant? Well,Let's ring the bell, Son!

5 seconds in and the Producer has a mandate! See we don't open with Paige. We open with Zack Bevis as a child watching the Rock and fawning over how great the Rock is.

First film he ever Produced is a wrestling Biopic not about himself, but he still managed to make it a vanity Project. Jesus Christ.

2 things they get wrong in this scene, Young Zack is holding a toy version of the current wwe belt, even though if this is supposed to be the late 90's, early 2000s. The wwf title was the "Eagle Wing" Belt. Two. A young Saraya comes in to change the Channel to watch Charmed, implying later on that Her ring Name comes from Rose McGowen's Character.

Paige, the name WWE gave her, Was because Originally the character was going to be a hacker who caused Distractions on the big Screen before she Debut and her name was going to be Paige Webb

GET IT? "WEBPAGE"? DO YOU GET IT? DO GET IT? HUH? HUH? DO YOU GET IT?

For Comedic effect, The Bevis/Knight Family are a family Of Wrestlers. In Real Life, Ricky Knight is thug who washes his hands with Child Labour Laws and has put all his children in the ring for profit before they could Shave, or in the case of Paige, Shave her Legs! Ricky even had a match over Legitimately Scamming Money from another Son and ended up in a bloody fight that put both of them on Tag!

So young Saraya has a match with Zack (whose in Drag as a pink Power Ranger) in a hall with 40 Drunk Randos, Flash forward 10 years and Saraya is now wrestling her mother, Saraya(SNR)

Yes I know it's confusing, but I'm not calling her Paige until her wwe Years. So Saraya-Jade/Britney/Paige (Florence Pugh) is taking hits from Saraya/Jools (Lena Headly), as Ricky (Nick Frost) tries to run in to help Saraya SNR, Until Zodiac Zack (Jack Lowden) comes out, it's all framed as Hokey, Rick even makes the Scooby Doo "Ruh-Roh" sound when Zack jumps through the Curtain and poses like a superhero.

Packing Up a Ring into a White Van, The Knight Family ring the office's of WWE to Inquire about the Audition Tapes Ricky sent of his children, to No Reply.

It's A Hard Struggle, this is a Wrestling scene in Middle Class Norwich. Which is like saying the Rap Scene in Mostly White Ireland. Just because it's 1% of the people represented, Doesn't mean it's not There!

Zack sees a Drug-dealer and chases him down, But Not out of Civic Duty, No, He's on the Payroll! He doesn't help his Character a scene ago either when he Picks up a Bunch of Children who they pay to set up the ring, in lieu of Payment for Wrestling lessons. Saraya, who's passing out programs is insulted by girls her age who foreshadow her brother "Who went Mental and was sent to jail"

While Ricky and A Black Big Daddy Rip-Off do really bad Slapstick, Paige convinces a Blind student to take part. In the Back Ricky finds out the Promotion is in the red. If they have more shows like the ones they had recently. Ricky will go back to Burglary. Jools says she won't let Ricky go back to Thieving....HE'S TOO FAT TO FIT INTO THE WINDOWS! HAVE ZACK DO IT INSTEAD!

And that would have being funny, if it weren't True.

Well, it looks like Zack won't be going through no window either, as a blond girl, Takes Zack to behind the building with Saraya to tell them something in a speechless scene. Saraya Hugging them both and the Girl holding her Belly and it's pretty obvious what was said! A scene cut to a Kitchen and a well dressed Zack tells Ricky that he wants to make a good impression with Courtney's Parents (The Dad being The Unfunny Giant!) So No Booze, no Swearing!

....Until Courtney's Mother makes the Cardinal Sin...Calling Wrestling "FAKE"! Zack Changes the Subject and Courtney's mother asks Ricky and Jools how they met. It's a story of Assault, Suicidal Thoughts, Gunrunning and Coke that landed Them both in 8 years of prison. To the mortification of Courtney's Parents. The phone goes off and Paige answers it. She recognizes the Number and puts it on speaker. WWE has Gotten the tapes and want to offer Zach and Britney jobs. Zack is gobsmacked and lost for words. Courtney seeing a future for her Baby, accepts on his behalf. The voice tells them to come to the smackdown taping in London's O2 stadium in November for tryouts, though Saraya needs a new name as they already have a Britney. Courtney's Mother doesn't even know what "WWE" is, though understandable if you only ever heard of it called WWF.

So Paige and Zak Explain what wwe and "Tryouts" are. WWF's brand of wrestling is "Sports Entertainment" and Like a Sport it's A fitness Evaluation and on the Entertainment side, It's an Auditon! This Brings up Saraya's and Zack's brother, Roy, who after failing his, took to Drink, and got into a fight where he put a man in coma throwing a lump of Tarmac at him! Funny if this wasn't a true story! Of course Courtney's Mother is still unsure on the family her daughter will marry into.

We cut to London's 02 stadium, where as part of the Biannual UK tour, Friday night smackdown is being filmed. Of course, Dwayne "The Producer" and his Big Johnson is here to put himself into a cameo, where Zack and Saraya ask for his advice and tells him to be aggressive and roasts them "Rock-Style" calling Paige Twillight and Zack "Harry Potter". But Rock had a point, his persona is nothing more than Dwayne Johnston, Magnified to the NTH Degree. The crowd knows who's real and who's not, even if you are playing a gimmick, Putting your heart into it also works. He's interrupted by a voice telling Rock that they need to change into their Gear. This voice belongs to Shane McMahon (Vince Vaughn)

Shane is the Son of Vince McMahon, the Chairman of WWE. Shane's Official title is not Well Defined, He's being head of Marketing, R and D, And if he happens to be in town, he leads the Tryouts. He also wrestles from Time to Time

....LEADING TO THAT ONE TIME IN THE SAUDI PROPAGANDA SHOW, WHERE HE INTERJECT HIS NAME IN AND WON THE TITLE OF BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD. 

A Remarkable Feat for someone who sweats bullets just by doing the Ali Shuffle!

In a speech to all the Contenders. Shane tells them you want need one more thing than talent. You need the ambition to be famous. If you see yourself as the wwe champion. as an Action figure, you belong in WWE.

The Newly Christened Paige, comes of as timid, but she still has a mouth on her to call Col. McSweatyBollox (hi Cultaholic!) a Tosser!

Now it's time for the Tryout, AS There is 10 wrestlers, They are put in a mock 5 on 5 tag match. And as the only women, Paige has to try harder. Shane is not Impressed by what her sees, until Paige sells for Zack, including taking Zack's finisher, the Zack Attack, a Foot Facelock Neckbreaker, with a Leg Catch.

That move will be known as another name, but that's a story for a fortnight's time! Join me in September when we will be finishing this review.

ONLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!

Eamonn Continues to probe Men in Black International

 (PREVIOUSLY ON MEN IN BLACK 4....JUST WATCH MEN IN BLACK 1, ITS THE SAME FILM EXCEPT THE BLACK MAN IS NOW A BLACK WOMAN!)

H and M go to the Safehouse that Holds the Chess People. The Newly Christened "Pawny", played with Typical Annoying Fashion by Ken Jeung- Gives a sarcastic answer to why his race has being wiped out!)

Trust me, the character is so Annoying You wish M and H would finish the job! A pawn is useless without queen, so Pawny Histrionically Threatens to off himself.  Meanwhile Everyone who just watched this films action grind to a halt because of this universe's answer to Jar-Jar Binks just want him to...

H had pickpocketed the Stone from M's Pocket and wants to know what it is, So does MIB, Who arrive with a blockade of 5 armoured cars and 20 agents. C is planning a coup and High-T is being scapegoated. However,  High-T has warned M and H to escape. Whatever the jewel really is, Fungus was too afraid to trust MIB with it!

H draws away the traitors as M escapes with the stone, as the Dynand Return. H " Borrows" Hassar's Space Bike, as Hassar gives M a flask of water for the desert. Keep in mind Beard is nowhere to be seen, as the agents speed around uninterested Extras. Jumping over the agents they Hyperdrive into the Sahara desert, the rock reacting to sand as it reveals itself to be a shrunken Blue Dwarf Star in a crucible. 

Blue Dwarf Stars are real. And really powerful. To put it into Context, the smallest Blue star In our universe, R136a1 has a solar radius of 26 Suns using our Sun as the unit of measurement.

No wonder fungus was scared. A power source lowballed at 26 Suns, it nothing to be sniffed at....so anyway, H and M shoots off a low setting blast powered by the Blue Star for funsies, and cause a trench where the Sahara use to be!

After the failed coup, High-T dismisses C. M tells H that Fungus gave her the blue Giant Star, Because H sensed that H had changed since Paris. M calls out H on his arrogance.

BUT NEVERMIND FINALLY REVEALING WHAT HAPPENED!

Beard, who was hiding in the flask, Steals the Blue Star and escapes on Jetpack, telling the agents that "She" will pay nicely when "She" arrives.

The She in Question, is of course the Aforementioned Riza, who is revealed to be a murderer, as well as an arm's dealer. H reveals that he was on the trail to arrest Riza But Something Changed. He fell in love, but M knows that, why did M team with H off the Bat?

BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO USE YOU AS A STEPPING STONE TO BE A TOP AGENT WITHOUT BEING ON PROBATION LONGER THAN SHE WANTED!

But no, turns out calling her Martha Jones to his Doctor Who was right. We have gone into the realms of Self-Insert Romance Fanfiction that we might as well call it Code Lyoko Evolution!

With the Bike fixed, The Agents hit Riza"s Fortress on Earth, Naples. 

We Finally see Rebecca Ferguson's Riza and PPFFFFTTTT,!!!!!!!

THAT'S!? What we're building up to? Someone with Giraffe Neck who looks like a Cougar who dyed her hair to pick up Young Men at the Alt Club?. She is a gorgeous woman IRL, but this wig and Nightgown patterned dress, coupled with her long neck bones and crow's feet, makes her look like Mutton Dressed as Lamb! Couldn't they just have made her CGI?

As M climbs the cliffs of Naples, H sweet talks the despot as her Bodyguard, Luca who is a full grown Transulent, looks on. (PLOT POINT?) Riza doesn't fall for it but does confirm that she has the Blue Giant Star.

H dispatches the Human Guards, Deactivates the security system as M and Pawny infiltrate the island, as Riza tries to sell the star. Riza finds m and fights her, as H fights Luca. Riza's species has a third arm and M ties her up in a bookcase and gym Equipment, before knocking her out. H is not so lucky as The Transulent hands him his ass!, But I'm a twist everyone saw coming, the hulking beast is indeed the small teddy bear like creature M saved as a little girl.

Turns Out The Phrase Luca said before he left was a blood oath, and that's all it took for Luca to have a face turn. And Riza, the most Feared Arms Dealer in the Universe, to fold like a Kleenex!

Do You Know what Riza Really Needs?

An Island Fortress filled with Alien Weapons!

The Dynand Twins Attack the Agents, Who are Destroyed by High-T'S Electro-Gun. But Not before Saying they will protect their Planet. And so the Earth is saved, but something isn't right. The Dyands said they wanted the Blue Star to "save their planet", A Planet under Hive Control, then High-T arrives with a weapon specifically for killing Gaseous Beings. H checks the File for The Dyand species...only it's now erased by someone higher up! Even C has worked it out! M's Compass, yeah it had a tracking device, which is why High-T, who is no longer a field agent, just happened to be in Naples! And Now the Blue Giant Star is Missing and High T is going to Paris!

So Let's Wrap this up!

The Hive Invade Paris, And It's Revealed that the Invasion did not get Thwarted, In fact H had is memory wiped, Because he could never go into detail on how he defeated the Hive. Because High-T is Dead!

His Body Assimilated into the Hive as a sleeper Agent, Biding their time til the Blue Star was on Earth. With the Dynand planning to turn on them, the Hive had to Reveal themselves, But with the Bluestar powering the Portal, all worlds can be Assimilated at once. M is thrown into the portal and the vastness of space. Until Pawny rescues her with his jet pack and Grappling Hook. H gets through to High -T long enough for Molly to use the Blue Giant Star to blast the hive to Kingdom come!

And So M is made Full Agent in New York and  H is made H is London. The Partnership is over-But at least they can have a Little Road Trip Solving Mysteries on the Downlow!

THIS FILM SUCKS!

Just like Ghostbusters 3, This is Nothing More than a mean-spirited Remake for the "Woke" Generation, Nothing as extreme as bringing back the original cast to tell the new cast how much they suck! Actually the Movie is like Power Rangers Megaforce and how that show was a failed Anniversary for that franchises 20 year anniversary: Buzzwords, catchphrases, scenes and Iconography of the Mib franchise, shoehorned in without explaining WHY! they are Iconic. Legacy Characters like Frank the Pug And the Coffee Worms get cameos and play no part in the Story. Even Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith are reduced to a 5 second Easter Egg. who had to pause your Dvd to see! Even Rip Torn's Z (RIP!) is not mentioned. As Mentioned constantly, the film is nothing more than the First film. Tessa Thompson is bland and one dimensional, Hemsworth chews scenery, Emma Thompson is wasted as just the exposistion character. And Riza looks like A granny in her frumpy dress and silver blue wig. The Mole storyline is good and Neeson keeps it afloat for a while But collapses by Every Grievance I mentioned. The production was Doomed from the start, because the Director and Producer argued on the content of the film, (It was pitched that the Dynand be 4 aliens that looked like the Beatles!) and it shows! Also i wish Pawny Died!

CREDITS

Men In Black 4 aka Men in Black International was Reviewed Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham

With Media From:

In Part 1

Men In Black 4

Spongebob SquarePants

Code Lyoko

Grand Theft Auto

Doctor Who

And Part 2

Men in Black

The Today Show 

Men in Black 4 is Produced By Columbia-Tristar and Property of Sony. All rights reserved. All Media used belong to their respective owners!

NEXT TIME ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!

The Storyline Continues In August with the reviewer of Dora the Explorer: Live action Movie! But July contains Bastille Day, and you know what that means! More reviews of Code Lyoko as we edge closer to the Season 4 finale!

AND NOW THE FIRST CHAPTER OF A GAME OF TWO HALVES AND NO QUARTER

Chapter 1: The Gorgon!

On a Desert Planet, Sabaru's Camera Droid Floated over a Rock Formation Broadcasting "The Game" to every planet in the Universe. The game is particular? A Demon Hunt. To prove her dying species are on par with the Cosmic Entities who play with the Souls and fate of Men. Sabaru Formed a League of Souls of Heroes to do  Challenges and arrest quarries too dangerous for the So called gods to thwarted.

Part-Spectator Sport, Part Smear Campaign!

Eamonn and 3 other Galactic G-Men. A Bird-like Human, An Troll and an Elf, Descend their airship!

"Our Target is a Gorgon, Be very Careful, The lack of any rivers or reflective Surfaces will hinder you, so stay on your toes."

It was 6 hours walking and the Gorgon was always a step away. Soon the Blistering Heat of the Sun, Became the frigid heat-Vaccuum at night. The others returned to the Ship for warmth, but Eamonn could not return with a failed first Mission. He uncovered a cave filled with Statues of Amimals with parts removed and faces of shock or Fear on them. With their Stomachs Cracked or Limbs Removed, if they could be returned to live they would have perished on the spot!

In a Quarry like Pit, the Gorgon Sleeped on a Makeshift Bed of Peeled Furs. Naked Her Skin A Gangrenous Shade. Her Breast Torn out by Sharp Claws Possibly her own. Her Stomach well Toned and Pink-tinted like a Human, contrasting her Top Body and the legless form that tapered into a green Tail, which she was holding with her clawed hands. Her Hair of snakes Vibrated like a Hive on every movement of the creatures Breathing, Her Putrid Blue lips would pull back to reveal fangs and a forked tongue from time to time!

"Ok. Found you time to cal you in..." Said Eamonn, Threading on a mouse's Skull that Broke underfoot and echoed Loudly! 

The Breathing Stopped!

(Storyline continues in August!)