To Start where we left off, The army storm into the room to see Harley (Margot Robbie) has shot General Silvio Mateo Dead. and once again becomes a prisoner. Now General Cortez Luna is in Command, as we cut to Polka Dot Man, Relapsing from his Power Incontinence, He tells the other's his backstory, His mother experimented on her own Children in an attempt to make them Superheroes. Many Died. His power is a inter-dimensional Sickness, In short, Expunge the powers, every day, twice a day, for the rest of your life, your body is eaten away by the black hole inside you, sooner! Also he sees his mother in Everyone, including the squad, and i don't want to say that Lynn Ashe, the actress that plays Mrs Krill looks like Chris Chan, But....
 |
| THAT'S UNFORTUNATE! |
So the Squad are Guided by Solidad, the surviving resistance fighter, after the rescue/Dick Measuring contest Peacemaker and Bloodsport had, introduces an Ally, a Cowardly truckdriver named Milton!, who will drive them into town to the red light District to kidnap The Thinker (Peter Capaldi). He also supplies them with Disguises, (Expect King Shark, despite insisting on a Fake Moustache) Back in Belle Reve, Waller (Viola Davis) reminds Bloodsport his daughter's freedom is at stake, an Underling asks if Governess Waller is going to far, She tells him he doesn't know her well!
Like, it's not like she will inject the Future Father of Batman Beyond with Bruce's Wayne's Sperm to Ensure we will always have a batman, right?
Ratcatcher explains her backstory, while her Father was a Coke addict who uses rats to steal to fuel his habit, she still sees his death as a fault of SOCIETY! Bloodsport (Idris Elba) explains his fear of rats come from his strict father locking him a Crate full of rats!
Finally Finding the Red Light District, they Get Rat-Arsed waiting for the Thinker, Even Ratcatcher's Rat Sebastian, gets More Rat-Arsed! Even Abner loosens up, though her sees the strippers as his mam!
Thinker Arrives and Bloodsport Kidnaps Him, Just as the soldiers raid the bar! Bloodsport tells Ratcather and Polkadot Man to take Greaves, while He, Peacemaker (WHO'S NAME IS JOHN CENA!) and Flag are arrested. They are being Brought to where Harley is being held!
We Cut to Harley being tortured ,but being in a Good Mood about it! Once again, this series of films has never stated that Harley has the same invulnerability Joker has from Drowning in the same chemicals he did. OR....
While the other's try to rescue her, Harley rescues herself by having the most Violent Musical Interlude ever, Even finds Her Javelin! Even Surprising Flag, "I can go back Inside if you want!"
So as their Ticket In, Thinker Brings the Squad behind enemy lines, while Peacemaker and King Shark plant C4 on the walls of Jotumheim.
Inside Jotumheim, Sebastian (Ratcatcher's rat) Squeals in Distress. the Reason? Hundreds of Zombies with their Faces covered in Spores, Dead the moment the Spores make Contact, but experimentation on the bodies show them kept Alive even by Vivisection, so long as the spore keeps on the face of the Victim. Flag lets out an exclamation of "Good God!" The Thinker, replies with this!
"GOD? IF STARRO WAS PROOF OF A GOD, THEN YOU WOULD THINK, GOD WAS NOT GOOD AT ALL!"
Starro Has grown giantsize as Thinker spouts some Home Truths
"STUPID AMERICAN SPACE COWBOYS TAKE STARRO TO HAVE A FEW DRUNKEN PHOTOS! YANKIE FUCKING DOODLE DANDY TAKE HIM TO MAKE HIM A WEAPON AGAINST THE RUSSIANS! BUT INSTEAD THEY PICK SOME ROCK NOONE HEARD OF TO COVER THEIR TRACKS! "
Flag had taken a hard-drive as evidence that the Government was Responsible for Starro. But Peacemaker, too narrow-minded in his Patriotism, Is Waller's ace in the Hole, Peacemaker pulls a gun on Flag and Ratcatcher as Jotumheim crumbles around them!
Ratcatcher wakes to find herself trapped with a freed Starro and the Thinker. After 3 decades of Torture and the Rape of his female Thralls, takes it out on Greaves in Gruesome Fashion. Let's just say that if a relationship is that bad for so long some "Splits" are easier than Others!
The Blood Splatter against the window, that was The Thinker, wakes up Flag and Peacemaker, who restart their Fight Over the Harddrive Flag pocketed, ending with Peacemaker Stabbing Flag in the heart with a piece of Shrapnel (Even showing a Horrific External Shot of the Blow!) Peacemaker realizes what he done, with Flag, bleeding from the mouth, utters his last words! (Peacemaker? what a Joke!) Ratcatcher runs in and grabs the hard-drive, only for Peacemaker to aim his pistol at her temple!
Cut to 8 Minutes ago, Harley and the rest of them plant the last C4, As King Shark (voice of Sylvester Stallone, wandered off into an Aquarium, finding alien Squids and play with him. Polkadot man drops some C4, and uses his powers to save the others from attack, accidentally, setting off the explosion in the present day. The Aquarium shatters, flooding all the top floors of Jotumheim, and the alien Squids start attacking Shark for his blood, Oh and Milton is dead!
Jotumheim falls in a cascade of Rubble and Water, King Shark is shot up by Luna's Soldiers only to be eaten by Nanawae! Bloodsport lands right in front of Peacemaker, who have a shot out, Bloodsport's bullet pierces Peacemakers and finds his Artery in his Neck and chokes on his blood! Bloodsport takes the hard-drive from Ratcatcher, hopefully using it as a bargaining chip later!
Free from his Prison, Starro's Conquest Begins, taking Control of Everyone with his Spores, even General Luna. Waller wants the Squad to Stand Down, Destroying Jotumheim was the mission, nothing else! So When the 5 all come down with a Dose of Morality, Waller threatens to detonate the bombs in their heads, Until one of the mission control Knocks out Mrs Waller with her own golf club!
SO LET'S FINISH THIS!
With Bloodsport's biggest Gun, King Shark's Hunger and Polkadot Man's Mammy Issues, they put a dent into Starro, But Polkadot Man Dies by being crushed to death! But Ratcatcher has brought reinforcements, given it's a slum in a 3rd world country-MILLIONS OF RATS swarm the Monstrous Invertebrate. Harley LE PARKOUR's on a roof, Piercing Starro's Single Eye with the Javelin, Swimming inside she leads the rats to eat Starro from the inside. Only for Starro through Luna, to tell the Squad, that all it wanted to do was float in space once more!
BITCH PLEASE!
You Named yourself STARRO THE CONQUERER! Your Species is Called the STAR DESTROYERS! You function by siphoning Energy from planets and its lifeforms. YOUR VICTIM CARD HAS BEING REVOKED!
Despite Corta Maltese's freedom, it's Bittersweet, Yes It's free but all those under Starro's Thrall are also Dead. Yes Bloodsport has leverage against Waller. but he's going back to prison and so the Film ends with the remaining Squad on the chopper tired but now excepting of each other, even Bloodsport allowing Sebastian to curl up on his lap! WE GET 2 STINGERS, Weasel is alive and stuck on Corta Maltese, and So Is Peacemaker ready for this NETFLIX SERIES!
THIS FILM IS GOOD! YOU MAY EVEN ARGUE IT'S GREAT!
You thought I would never have anything nice to say about "Harley Quinn's Ass, Featuring the Sui-SHITE Squad 3", but James Gunn, made it work! Despite the Generals being Forgettable Villains, (Luna has to kill Birds to establish, he's evil!) The film is supported by Broad Characters brought out by great actors and break neck Action! Robbie was no longer the focus of the film, though she did strike the finishing blow, all the characters had resolution. Danelia Mechior, as Ratcatcher 2, despite a OC was played with such heart and Hardship behind it. John Cena with his presence and Pleasant New England Voice was perfectly cast as a flag-waving Psychopath. Stallone was a one man (shark?) Meme Machine! But The nod goes To Peter Capaldi, who picked up the slack in the performance as the repulsive, Morally Corrupt Thinker! Did it veer into Scenery Chewing? Absolutely! AND IT WAS WHAT WAS NEEDED! We Don't know if this is the Last Suicide Squad film, or just Robbie's Last, but Good god, what a way to go out!
CREDITS
THE Suicide Squad was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited in 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on Twitter!)
With Media from
The Suicide Squad
Superman Comics
Batman Comics
The Flash Comic
He-man and the Masters of the Universe
All media used belongs to their Respective owners. All Rights Reserved!
THE SUICIDE SQUAD Was Produced by Warner Bros and the Trademark is owned by DC Comics!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!
A BUNCH OF OSCAR WINNING SUPPORTING ACTORS PICKED UP THE CALL TO HAVE A STARTING ROLE...WITHOUT CHECKING THE CALLER ID SAID SYFY!
IT'S YER MAN FROM THE THING, AND OTHER FANNING IN BADLANDS-ROAD TO FURY!
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