Eamonn Probes Men in Black 4 (AKA MIB INTERNATIONAL)

(STORYLINE WILL START IN PART 2)

I COULD NOT FIND THE EXACT IMAGE USED IN THE BOXART FOR THE BRITISH RELEASE OF THIS FILM SO MAKE DO WITH THE CLOSEST IMAGE I CAN FIND!

 ....Yeah, After Ghostbusters 3, Maybe Keep Liam Hemsworth Away from Columbia's Franchises, M'Kay?

THE BOXART IS BORING!

It's Tessa Thompson and Liam Hemsworth Standing in front of A Logo that has characters inserted in. Unfortunately, the size of the Stars in the foreground, the shape of the logo, and the blurriness of the White they used makes these characters uninteresting.

We Open with the Columbia Logo, animated to Put Sunglasses on to turn her torch in a Neuralizer, Because just like what we saw In Emoji Movie, enough money was thrown at this to fuck around with the logo!

We Open in Paris 2016, The Eiffel Tower is Really A beacon and Two MIB Agents (Liams Hemsworth and Neeson! have being assigned to the appending Disaster. The enemy is the Hive. A generic Omnivorous Incestoid species. Cutting off the flashback at the most exciting moment. We are put into...another flashback! one twenty years prior! In Brooklyn, New York, a Small Girl obsessed with space, wakes up hearing her Parent confront what was thought to be a wild animal...Except It wasn't. The agents Foreshadow that the Creature, A Transulent, Looks Cute but can quickly become Monsters. Not Bothering to check if the child is Asleep or if the creature is on site, Molly taken by the cute appearance of the alien, Hatches An Escape Plan, Before the creature leaves it says something in his language and Molly says it back to him, as he nods and smiles!

Present Day and Molly Is A Police Graduate, But Believes In Aliens Costing her jobs In FBI AND CIA, to the point she now works in a Call Centre. But It's a cover for her to track Aliens on the Call Centre's Dime. Molly Arrives at a Would be Crash Site Covered By a Construction Site. But Pigeons flying though the fence and disappearing Reveals it's a Hologram Covering up Aliens are real...and they reveal it by showing us the most Amateur Hour Costume Ever!

Seriously?

Is this Hollywood.....Or Ed Wood?

Tailing them in a taxi and wearing her own MIB Suit. Molly sneaks into MIB headquarters only to be Captured by New Controller O (Emma Thompson) Molly Pleads not to Neuralized but recruited instea...OH COME THE FUCK ON!

THIS IS THE PLOT TO THE FIRST MOVIE!

An African American Cop Stumbles into an Alien Conspiracy, is partnered with a white Veteran after a botched mission! IT'S THE FIRST MOVIE!

DID YOU THINK WE WERE STUPID?

Oh and to prove my Point O Gives A VERBATIM! speech Z gave Will Smith at this Juncture, even shovelling in Key Phrases "Scum Of the Universe" and " I look Dahm Good In Black!", Except M(olly) tuts over the Little Cricket, that small put overpowered Gun....Because Will Smith Used that Gun but she won't because this Film is Different to the 1st film, For all of you saying, defending this, "It's Similar, But Different!"

Well....

iT'S nOT tHe sAME, iT'S dIFFERENT! 
iT'S nOT tHE sAME, iT'S dIFFERENT!

So O sends Agent M to London, Where Agent H (Hemsworth) is breaking up an Alien Alcohol Smuggling Ring (And Getting Rat-Arsed From It in the process!) When he is attacked by his hosts when his identity is rumbled. In the Fight, He's Bitten by A 3 headed Snake and Dying of Venom, The Wife of the Gangster, a Humanoid that has 2 Tentacles instead of 2 Arms is about to cure her Husband who is also dying of being Envenomated, when Agent H tells her he'll do ANYTHING for the cure!

Sure Enough, H wakes up after A night of Tentacle Woman Love (12 RATED CHILDREN'S FILM!) As Molly Boards the Train that's really a Spaceship to Europe.

After making the Obvious Joke that the biggest Asshole in British Media an Alien, We Meet T (Neeson) now High-T. The Controller of MIB London Branch, So he's not Dead, but No Longer a Field Agent So my claim of "iT'S nOT tHE sAME, iT'S dIFFERENT!" Still stands!

After first day tomfoolery, M is gifted a Compass by High T to remind her Every Journey Starts with a single step.

And knowing this franchise, watch the compass really be a dwarf star or the Chosen One Golden Child to a race of Compass-People or some shit!

In Marrakesh (Because we never would have guessed without Belly-dancer Music Blaring in the background!) The power goes out and as a man fixes a fuse-box 2 cloud like aliens shock the man to death, Melting him into a puddle and Steal his Image, Oh look Aliens Kill a man and uses his image to blend in- LIKE THE FIRST FILM! But it's two Aliens because iT'S nOT tHE sAME fILM, iT'S dIFFERENT!

The twins Go to an Antique Store to request the aliens Being Harboured, Tiny Aliens who's armour and technology Pass as Chess Pieces. These are Assassins and they have being threatened to provide their Services.

Back in London, H has Sobered Up and returned to London Base. We Learn Gustav Eiffel was in fact a MIB agent and his Tower was a Beacon to guide Alien Refugees, Before it was hijacked by the Hive. Speaking Of H and T defeated the Hive years ago. So the Burnout Agent H is still treated as a Hotshot, to the annoyance of MIB''s Quartermaster, C. A Time Controlling Alien Agent uses her powers to slow and reverses his walking past her to check him out until she's scolded, She also has a Northern English Accent!

So the Prince of the Jaibati (as in Jeibated, the gamer term for Hoodwinked, like we were Hoodwinked that this was an original film!) A humanoid Whale Species that can sense Truth from Touch, Is coming to Earth to Party, So he needs a chaperone or Trade between the planets are in Jeopardy. And Surprise, but Not Really, He's the Target for the Chess People and the Cloud twins.

In An Ovivous Twist, the rookie is Straight Laced and the Mentor is a wild-card. M meets her new partner offically by waking him up. After all Banging a Kawaii Cthulu-girl Takes it out of you!

So M and H Meet Prince Fungus in a secret Club where it's implyed that It's full of Aliens and Human Into Aliens....And it does Happen in the Extended Universe, like the Cartoon, But these are Human's going out of there way to Get STDS FROM ETS...which is completely crushes MIB mythos down a sinkhole! M has lied to H about knowing about the culture of Jaibati (Either M wants to prove herself by being teamed with the top agent and get off Probation early or M is likely gonna be written like she's the Martha to his Doctor Who!)

M and H get into an Argument about the lies they told each other (Basically , M did learn about Jaibati culture she would have known, that Females in front of the royals are treated as Gifted Concubines!) Fungus quickly Subdues himself to tell H something important, But H is too Busy Partying. Fungus grabs his hands to shake him but the glow from the tumors on his wrists startle him. The Cloud Twins Enter and Start Dancing...But them Dancing as they keep eye contact on Fungus Raises Red Flags One shoots a Bolt of Lighting that carries a small dart that Heatseeks Fungus and he collapses. He's Bundled into a car and it's less that an mile when the Car explodes and is launched 30 feet into the air, Trapping the Prince Inside. The Agents go to Arrest the Cloud Twins only for them to literally dance over the heroes. The MIB towncar is it's own Garrison, As pulling on Car Parts reveals Shelves of Guns and Ammunition held together by Hammerspace, Too Bad the twins are Cloud which means being Gaseous and incorporeal means that Bullets go through them. That when they use Heat and Magnetism to turn the metal around them into Liquid before forming it into a drill Bit to finish Fungus. Fungus in his dying Breath, Gives M an Amethyst, warning her that Something Evil Lurks in The Men in Black.

Backup Arrives, As soon as they do, the twins are Beamed onto a ship and it flies away. The Morning In the Office (Which has a Picture of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones Fighting the Bugs-The ONLY Mention of the films before it!) The Cloud Creatures are officially the Dynand-A planet Under Hive Control-The Hive are like a combination of the Borg from Star Trek and The Kiratine from Doctor who- A Hivemind that Subjugates a Species from the cellular level and Shares out their abilities to their swollen numbers! Agent C, A bootlicker with a grudge against H, wants to Invoke ARTICLE 13!

NO WONDER FUNGUS DIDN'T TRUST MIB! THE BASTARDS WANT TO TAKE AWAY OUR MEMES!

Actually the Article is just as bad. It's a Mass Memory Wipe and firing.

But M (Not revealing the Crystal she obtained!) points out only a dozen agents knew Fungus was on Earth. There is a Mole in MIB!

High-T Now pairs M with C, AS the Quartermaster needs to arm agents with Weapons Capable of fighting Both Incorporeal and Virulent Beings. High T is sick with of H's Slacking off and Much Like what fungus said, H has Changed. M is off the Case...Not that he listens as he barges into C's R&D Department.

WHAT EVIL TRULY LURKS IN MIB? WHAT POWER DOES THE AMETHYST HOLD? WHAT ABOUT THE COMPASS?

ALL TO BE REVEALED NEXT WEDNESDAY (9/6/2021) ONLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE