THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY MOUNTAIN DEW: LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE GOAT'S PISS, NOONE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE!
(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...
We started work on the Boys from Broken Lizard's most rated film on RottenTomatoes ever (which is bullshit since Super Troopers, was actually funny!) this is the Story of the Wolfhouse brothers, Jan, or it in Jim or John? and todd, or Tim, or Ted?, honour bound to spread the ashes of their German Grandad, their visit to Octoberfest causes the an international incident, and stumbling across the Secret wold of beer-fest an International Beer Drinking competition, where their Cousins, are Germany's drinking team, But family reunions are out of the question when The Munich Branch accuses the late grandfather of stealing their family recipe for Beer, so the Wolfhouses return to form an American Beer-Drinking team! But need special training, at Grandma Rose's)
After Serving Sausages in a way that would make Nanny Ogg Blush, Expositing RACIST Bullshit that Germans learn to drink since Birth, and the realization that Rose may really have being a whore, they actually take her advice and Drinks Ram's Piss and struggling to do so! they decide to train theGames side of beer-fest by gatecrashing a highschool party and nearly get arrested.
7 months to go and Fink can't figure out how the Germans can drink from a boot and avoid the air bubble that causes choking, Fink Smashes Johan's Puppet that Landfill was using to annoy the Jewish Stereotype, Revealing that Johan (or someone close to him) did steal the recipe, so what do they do? THEY DO THE THING THAT THEY WERE ACCUSED OF DOING, OUT OF SPITE! And actually draft the beer recipe, Because after the Drinking song Fiasco in Part 1, sitting down and talking about it, isn't an option!
2 MONTHS LATER, And the lager is drafted and it is the finest beer they drank, meaning everything the Germans said is true, and even though their cause is unfounded, they still want to face the Munich Branch of their Family, even though their family honour is based on a lie!
3 months to go, and German team in a homo-erotic Fashion, the Colardo Wolfhouse have Manufactured the beer and it makes it's way to Germany, Wolfgang tells his boys that they are going to America to get their recipe back
2 months to go and Barry is so drunk, he doesn't realise that the woman he Picked up was really Rose's Nurse Cherry (Monique)...only for Barry to tell the audience he knew the whole time!
OUR HERO LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!
1 month to go and the Munich Wolfhouse have somehow got a U-boat into landlocked Colorado! The Germans want to buy back the recipe, But Jan refuses, so they propose a game of Ping-pong but Barry's hand starts to shake uncontrollably and quits!
But It was an underhand tactic, as Hammer and Not-Ledger (okay, we learn his name is Artie, but we never learn Not-Cleese and Not-Meany's Names) as Wolfgang fakes a news tip off that blackmails the restaurant, It gets worse, Fink somehow cloned off-screen monkey-frog and got fired, And as Landfill's wife leaves him, he discovers Cherry is a spy for Ze Germans she steals the recipe. After a very graphic male on female fight (this is still suppose to be a a comedy, right?) Cherry throws Landfill into a beer vat, as the idiot dies trying to drink himself out, the others find him! At the funeral Fink Breaks down, and Rose reveals that everything the Germans said was true, she stole the recipe and hid it in Johann's puppet without him knowing! (No one ever asked why Rose didn't retrieve the recipe and make it herself, but the consensus and Word Of God was Johan was such a skilled chef, that they made more money than the beer would have!)
Barry reveals why he can't play Ping-pong, it's because it's now linked to a traumatic event-namely being raped (an act that has being treated as a punchline in this film and this is no exception "they put a paddle up my ass! I've being shitting Pancakes for years! ACTUAL QUOTE!)
With team reunited, they still need a 5th, this is when Landfill's twin brother from out of town inexplicably joins the the team
....
THEY KILLED OF ONE CHARACTER FOR FALSE DRAMA, AND THEY REPLACED HIM WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER PLAYED BY THE SAME ACTOR
.....
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btEpF334Rtc
So Gil wants to be called Landfill in honour, and it only serves that Gil is a hungrier, smarter and more sophisticated version of Landfill (actually sprouting a quite funny "things are getting Sour for the Krauts"! line)
So the boys arrive in Munich, but Wolfgang being the mayor and all, has not given the new password to the Americans, so they Trojan Horse into a Keg! and enter.
USA Beats Britain and the French, whilst Germany beats Beats Mexico, and Canada, and Despite the Distractionary Antics of the Bikini Clad Swedish Stereotypes, USA Goes through!
Whilst Taking a Piss! Fink works out how to drink from a boot! you just turn it to make gravity destroy the air bubble
The Final of Beerfest!
USA VS Germany,
Barry looses to Not-Cleese In Quarters, Fink loses to Not-Meany in Monkey Chug, Jan and Landfill 2 loses to Arty and Slammer in Beer Pong and the game to stay in is Table Tennis, A drunk Todd and Barry vs Not-Cleese and Hammer in Some over the top, Balls of Fury-like shit! USA WINS....BANGING ON A TABLE? WHAT?...And Turbo Quarters and surprise surprise, we have a tie and the tie-breaker? WHAT ELSE? DRINKING FROM A BOOT! But When Landfill 2 has his time to shine, Cherry appears and taunts about killing his twin causing him to get angry and losing! But Jan reveals that the recipe Cherry stole is that of a Strawberry Beer! and Since Beer is SRS BSNSS! in this film, it's enough to get Cherry Killed! So Jan proposes a new game, all team members will drink a boot each, revealing that Are Not Left Handed, I Mean, Drunk!
So lets down this Glass of Shit!
Slammer knocked the Yamaduke of Fink and sooner as you can say, "Ja, Let's play Frisbee!" Fink enters a super-offended state called "Eye Of the Jew"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxBH2iBQqZE
But it is Landfill who gets the w, as Slammer drinks all but one drop! and so a year later the new 5 executives of Wolfhousen Brewery are in Holland where Willy Nelson enlists them for Pot-fest the sequel that has being in Developmental Hell and should stay there! and so our fill ends with Bloopers in the Credits because if your comedy couldn't be funny when it was supposed to, then you are doing it wrong!
THIS FILM SUCKS!
I FEEL LIKE KICKING SOMETHING!
What can I say that haven't already said? It's crude, it's insulting, it's humourless! Our heroes are unlikable, Even to the Point where Todd/Tom/Tim/WHATEVER! points out they profited on an age old family grudge, Plus it doesn't help when both sides are Murderous Sociopaths! This film was going to be bad, even it if didn't trigger the Racist Alarm, BUT IT DID!
FOR BEING RACIST AGAINST THE IRISH, BEER-FEST GETS AN AUTOMATIC FAIL!
BUT IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE!
...(TRAIN BLARES!)
As the Express train to Hell slows to a chug! Eamonn gets on, as it does, from nowhere it carreens at pace, knocking Eamonn Down! as it enters a tunnel)
-Who knows what surprises are waiting!
As the train exits the tunnel on the roof, the Pimpernel stands armed with his shock sticks and wearing a fixed bike helmet obscuring his face!
...And So It Begins!
CREDITS
Beer fest was reviewed Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With clips and music from
in Part 1:
Seven Drunken Nights by the Dubliners
Anchorman
and in Part 2
Combine Harvester by the Wurzels
The Simpsons
Beerfest was Produced by Broken Lizard and Distributed by Warner Bros.
Bogger box Office is not affiliated with Mountain Dew, why would anyone drink something with a vague flavour (citrus flavour, CITRUS IS NOT A FLAVOUR! IT'S A GROUP!) and looks like ram's piss is anyone's guess!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!
TICKET TO HELL RETURNS! WITH A SHOCKING REVELATION THAT WILL TWIST 2 WORLDS INTO AN INESCAPABLE OF SPIRAL DESPAIR, A FITTING BACKDROP TO OUR NEXT REVIEW, ONE THAT HAS BEING ASKED BY A CIRCLE OF FRIENDS SINCE IT DROPPED LAST YEAR!
OUR NEXT REVIEW IS....
TICKET TO HELL 5: DA BEES R STEALIN' OUR WOMIN: EAMONN REVIEWS JUPITER ACSENDING!
(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...
We started work on the Boys from Broken Lizard's most rated film on RottenTomatoes ever (which is bullshit since Super Troopers, was actually funny!) this is the Story of the Wolfhouse brothers, Jan, or it in Jim or John? and todd, or Tim, or Ted?, honour bound to spread the ashes of their German Grandad, their visit to Octoberfest causes the an international incident, and stumbling across the Secret wold of beer-fest an International Beer Drinking competition, where their Cousins, are Germany's drinking team, But family reunions are out of the question when The Munich Branch accuses the late grandfather of stealing their family recipe for Beer, so the Wolfhouses return to form an American Beer-Drinking team! But need special training, at Grandma Rose's)
After Serving Sausages in a way that would make Nanny Ogg Blush, Expositing RACIST Bullshit that Germans learn to drink since Birth, and the realization that Rose may really have being a whore, they actually take her advice and Drinks Ram's Piss and struggling to do so! they decide to train theGames side of beer-fest by gatecrashing a highschool party and nearly get arrested.
7 months to go and Fink can't figure out how the Germans can drink from a boot and avoid the air bubble that causes choking, Fink Smashes Johan's Puppet that Landfill was using to annoy the Jewish Stereotype, Revealing that Johan (or someone close to him) did steal the recipe, so what do they do? THEY DO THE THING THAT THEY WERE ACCUSED OF DOING, OUT OF SPITE! And actually draft the beer recipe, Because after the Drinking song Fiasco in Part 1, sitting down and talking about it, isn't an option!
2 MONTHS LATER, And the lager is drafted and it is the finest beer they drank, meaning everything the Germans said is true, and even though their cause is unfounded, they still want to face the Munich Branch of their Family, even though their family honour is based on a lie!
3 months to go, and German team in a homo-erotic Fashion, the Colardo Wolfhouse have Manufactured the beer and it makes it's way to Germany, Wolfgang tells his boys that they are going to America to get their recipe back
2 months to go and Barry is so drunk, he doesn't realise that the woman he Picked up was really Rose's Nurse Cherry (Monique)...only for Barry to tell the audience he knew the whole time!
OUR HERO LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!
1 month to go and the Munich Wolfhouse have somehow got a U-boat into landlocked Colorado! The Germans want to buy back the recipe, But Jan refuses, so they propose a game of Ping-pong but Barry's hand starts to shake uncontrollably and quits!
But It was an underhand tactic, as Hammer and Not-Ledger (okay, we learn his name is Artie, but we never learn Not-Cleese and Not-Meany's Names) as Wolfgang fakes a news tip off that blackmails the restaurant, It gets worse, Fink somehow cloned off-screen monkey-frog and got fired, And as Landfill's wife leaves him, he discovers Cherry is a spy for Ze Germans she steals the recipe. After a very graphic male on female fight (this is still suppose to be a a comedy, right?) Cherry throws Landfill into a beer vat, as the idiot dies trying to drink himself out, the others find him! At the funeral Fink Breaks down, and Rose reveals that everything the Germans said was true, she stole the recipe and hid it in Johann's puppet without him knowing! (No one ever asked why Rose didn't retrieve the recipe and make it herself, but the consensus and Word Of God was Johan was such a skilled chef, that they made more money than the beer would have!)
Barry reveals why he can't play Ping-pong, it's because it's now linked to a traumatic event-namely being raped (an act that has being treated as a punchline in this film and this is no exception "they put a paddle up my ass! I've being shitting Pancakes for years! ACTUAL QUOTE!)
With team reunited, they still need a 5th, this is when Landfill's twin brother from out of town inexplicably joins the the team
....
THEY KILLED OF ONE CHARACTER FOR FALSE DRAMA, AND THEY REPLACED HIM WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER PLAYED BY THE SAME ACTOR
.....
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btEpF334Rtc
So Gil wants to be called Landfill in honour, and it only serves that Gil is a hungrier, smarter and more sophisticated version of Landfill (actually sprouting a quite funny "things are getting Sour for the Krauts"! line)
So the boys arrive in Munich, but Wolfgang being the mayor and all, has not given the new password to the Americans, so they Trojan Horse into a Keg! and enter.
USA Beats Britain and the French, whilst Germany beats Beats Mexico, and Canada, and Despite the Distractionary Antics of the Bikini Clad Swedish Stereotypes, USA Goes through!
Whilst Taking a Piss! Fink works out how to drink from a boot! you just turn it to make gravity destroy the air bubble
The Final of Beerfest!
USA VS Germany,
Barry looses to Not-Cleese In Quarters, Fink loses to Not-Meany in Monkey Chug, Jan and Landfill 2 loses to Arty and Slammer in Beer Pong and the game to stay in is Table Tennis, A drunk Todd and Barry vs Not-Cleese and Hammer in Some over the top, Balls of Fury-like shit! USA WINS....BANGING ON A TABLE? WHAT?...And Turbo Quarters and surprise surprise, we have a tie and the tie-breaker? WHAT ELSE? DRINKING FROM A BOOT! But When Landfill 2 has his time to shine, Cherry appears and taunts about killing his twin causing him to get angry and losing! But Jan reveals that the recipe Cherry stole is that of a Strawberry Beer! and Since Beer is SRS BSNSS! in this film, it's enough to get Cherry Killed! So Jan proposes a new game, all team members will drink a boot each, revealing that Are Not Left Handed, I Mean, Drunk!
So lets down this Glass of Shit!
Slammer knocked the Yamaduke of Fink and sooner as you can say, "Ja, Let's play Frisbee!" Fink enters a super-offended state called "Eye Of the Jew"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxBH2iBQqZE
But it is Landfill who gets the w, as Slammer drinks all but one drop! and so a year later the new 5 executives of Wolfhousen Brewery are in Holland where Willy Nelson enlists them for Pot-fest the sequel that has being in Developmental Hell and should stay there! and so our fill ends with Bloopers in the Credits because if your comedy couldn't be funny when it was supposed to, then you are doing it wrong!
THIS FILM SUCKS!
I FEEL LIKE KICKING SOMETHING!
What can I say that haven't already said? It's crude, it's insulting, it's humourless! Our heroes are unlikable, Even to the Point where Todd/Tom/Tim/WHATEVER! points out they profited on an age old family grudge, Plus it doesn't help when both sides are Murderous Sociopaths! This film was going to be bad, even it if didn't trigger the Racist Alarm, BUT IT DID!
FOR BEING RACIST AGAINST THE IRISH, BEER-FEST GETS AN AUTOMATIC FAIL!
BUT IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE!
...(TRAIN BLARES!)
As the Express train to Hell slows to a chug! Eamonn gets on, as it does, from nowhere it carreens at pace, knocking Eamonn Down! as it enters a tunnel)
-Who knows what surprises are waiting!
As the train exits the tunnel on the roof, the Pimpernel stands armed with his shock sticks and wearing a fixed bike helmet obscuring his face!
...And So It Begins!
CREDITS
Beer fest was reviewed Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With clips and music from
in Part 1:
Seven Drunken Nights by the Dubliners
Anchorman
and in Part 2
Combine Harvester by the Wurzels
The Simpsons
Beerfest was Produced by Broken Lizard and Distributed by Warner Bros.
Bogger box Office is not affiliated with Mountain Dew, why would anyone drink something with a vague flavour (citrus flavour, CITRUS IS NOT A FLAVOUR! IT'S A GROUP!) and looks like ram's piss is anyone's guess!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!
TICKET TO HELL RETURNS! WITH A SHOCKING REVELATION THAT WILL TWIST 2 WORLDS INTO AN INESCAPABLE OF SPIRAL DESPAIR, A FITTING BACKDROP TO OUR NEXT REVIEW, ONE THAT HAS BEING ASKED BY A CIRCLE OF FRIENDS SINCE IT DROPPED LAST YEAR!
OUR NEXT REVIEW IS....
TICKET TO HELL 5: DA BEES R STEALIN' OUR WOMIN: EAMONN REVIEWS JUPITER ACSENDING!
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