(Incoming Transmission From Earth 3...
When we last left our transmission, the hero of this world, the Pimpernel was rescuing some Italian glitterati From the Dictator of this world, simply known as "The Leader", unlike the scrubs the Pimpernel is use to, he his now face to neck with quite the quandry, facing a foe twice his size.
The Giant Paladin roared and guffawed as he threw the Pimpernel's bike handles/shock sticks to the carpet, twisted like deadwood, he made the "bring it" gesture, he only time his smug angelic-themed helmet matched his inward mood!
The Pimpernel turned to his damged bike,
"Oracle, are you alright?"
A liquid metal seeped from the chasis of the bike and formed into a woman in a backless split ballgown, the same fiery red colour as the bike was, the hair brunette and worn in a long braid and a fringe, the damage seemed to affect her systems and had made glitches and freezing translated into her attractive face less so, by forming into verbal and facial tics!
"I'm Damaged, you Ass-sssssssssho-ole! Don't even thi-ink of replacing me-eeeeeeeeeee with a new mod-del-el!
"No one could ever replace you, Oracle, You are one of a kind!" he said with a smile that dissolved quickly, "Well Old Girl! how about your weapons systems they working?"
" All weapon-on-on-ons Systems-ems Offline! So none of your Parlour Tricks!
" Well I still have my Magic Tricks!" he said peeling his left glove from his hand, in his knuckles, that unmistakable scarring, a fragment of a Devil's Dvd! his hand glowed silver as he threw a Hadou-Kara Punch into the giant Paladin's Stomach sending him flying off the balcony the Pimpernel used to enter a few hours ago.
Later, the peaceful dawn broke over New London, though the sounds of workhouses below didn't let up, whatever birds were not choked out extinction, couldn't sing loud enough!
The Pimpernel gave the Countess and her father new clothes to blend with the working masses
"My Pimpernel, What can I Give you in Return of my life?"
-Well, my lady, I can think of one thing!
-"Oh how dare you, I am a Lady!" she blushed
-No. not that! Your Necklace, It's very Important to my lady friend
February 7th
Supplemental
As Surmised by Oracle the Garnet in the countess' Necklace contained Microchips of her memory of her arrival in this world, her hokum about other world's is true (Remind me to apoligise to her) the chips i downloaded contained a battle between Oracle and others like her but in some kind of uniform (was she in some kind of army?) and they were fighting HIM, With my Powers! Oracle who is still not aware fully of her past concluded it's not "HIM"-him! but a "dimensional counterpart of "HIM"" It seems Our 3 destinies are forever entwined unless i can save this other world before the terror has fallen there also!
TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED!
INTER-DIMENSIONAL INTERFERENCE DETECTED!
FORCED SHUTDOWN PROGRAM INITI,,,,
AND NOW, OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
(This month's Theme for the Week that's in it...My Countries Greatest Drinking, song 7 Drunken Nights)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XYL5s1k3ro
Remember in my review of Balls of Fury, I Called this film a knock Off of Dodgeball? THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT COMPARED TO WHAT I HAD TO WATCH!
The Dvd cover should tell you everything without watching this film, The Blurb from the Daily Mail, Coarse, Crass and Crude is some how construed as a compliment, the background is a close-up of a glass of lager, with a sticker of our heroes (and I use that term loosely) dressed as Olympic athletes, Bookmarked and each side, a nameless model and background character is dressed as slutty Durdl Girl and the image has being copied, pasted and side reversed to look symmetrical.
In other words this cover is the very essence of this film, Beer worship, Jingoism, Racism, Sexism and Laziness!
The Film Starts Appropriately enough with a voice laughing at us!
A lowlife Gambler is playing a double or Nothing game of Pennies with an older gentlemen and when he makes a lucky shot to win his money back the gangster gets furious, only when the gambler's brother comes in to stop it, it's revealed that the "gangster" is really...a priest!
Yeah, I'm An Atheist living in a country where the State News Kowtows to the church before it's bulletins, so Same Difference!
These two brothers are the Wolfhouse Brothers (their names change through the film before settling on Jan and Todd) Grandsons to the man of the funeral they are attending, a German Restaurateur called Johann, (Remember when Donald Sutherland was a respected Actor, THOSE WERE THE DAYS!) After inheriting the Restaurant and Johann's Childhood Puppet (PLOT ITEM!) After the Cremation Grandma Rose exposists that Johan wants his ashes to be spread over the Bavarian Octoberfest, there they will met a minister who will be their guide.
After title Drop the 2 Wolfhouse Brothers arrive, they watch a singing contest between Aussie Stereotypes and British Chavs, when they stop and think that the Tourists are a team and are offended by 99 Bottles of Beer on the wall", Rather than, say, I don't Know, CALMLY EXPLAINING THAT THEY'RE NOT, A domino effect ensures that causes a riot, multiple sexual assaults and deaths, as well as harm to the mayor's grandson, all from Jann trying to dodge a punch!
It's like a Game of Mouse-Trap That was sanctioned By Maxim Magazine!
They are saved the Minister they were waiting for and In Hiding in an Asylum, the only place no-one would look for Unsanctioned World Drinking games called Beerfest
Thinking the Urn is to adorn the hall of fame, the Wolfhouses are pushed by the Minister to watch a Drinking Contest Between Germany and....(Angry Breathing!) IRELAND!
(RACIST ALARM!)
So the German Team beats Ireland (making my tirade on countries that have a worse Drinking Culture to justify Directors to NOT use Drunken Irish Bastard Tropes from my Leap Year review, ring true!) The Wolfhouses learn that the 3 of the German team are Their Cousins, before the Minister is taken and shot for revealing beerfest, The Germans (who are never named but given their faces and degree of German accents are referred from now on as Not-Cleese, Not-Ledger and Not-Meany) reveal that their grandfather stole a beer recipe and throws in insults that rose was a whore into the mix.
A drinking Challenge by the American Wolfhouses is excepted, to prove a point, The Germans make Jann and Todd face their weakest members, 2 bodybuilders called Hammer and Slammer, neither of the Yanks make a dent in their Stein glasses and the yanks are Pelted with cabbage , the Munich Branch reveals that their Grandfather is the Mayor of Munich, Wolfgang Van Wolfhouse...or would if the boy playing his grandson didn't run across the screen ruining the reveal
"I'M ACTING"
Demanding the recipe Johan Stole, the Americans are pelted with Johan's ashes and Jan gets Punched after all! the 2 brothers leave Munich in Shame...
GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!
CREDITS
BeerFest was Reviewed Compiled and Ed..THUD!
Oh Yeah, i forgot that Joe-Jack chains the doors with a Silent Hill Magical deadlock seal, I'm stuck til I finish this!
So the Wolfhouses decide to enter an American team into BeerFest to defend the Colorado Branch's honour, recruiting a competitive Eater called Landfill, a Jewish Stereotype called Fink who..."extracts" male frogs...vital fluid for research called Fink, and Barry, a gigolo Coin-tosser and games-master with a lost touch...whilst sober and a terrible secret to why he can never play Ping Pong ever again!
Naturally we get a drinking Montage with a keg of Beer that ends with Landfill face down in food, Fink too exhausted to wank off frogs at work, Barry naked and next to a dead deer, and the worse Realization, they only drank half a kag between them, so Jan says they need special training at Grandma's!
HOW CAN ROSE HELP THE AMERICAN TEAM TRAIN? WAS SHE REALLY A WHORE IN HER PRIME? DID JOHAN REALLY STEAL THE FAMILY RECIPE? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHO IS THE PIMPERNEL OF EARTH 3 AND WHAT CONNECTION DOES HE HAVE WITH EAMONN AND CREW?
FIND OUT IN APRIL, ONLY, ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!
When we last left our transmission, the hero of this world, the Pimpernel was rescuing some Italian glitterati From the Dictator of this world, simply known as "The Leader", unlike the scrubs the Pimpernel is use to, he his now face to neck with quite the quandry, facing a foe twice his size.
The Giant Paladin roared and guffawed as he threw the Pimpernel's bike handles/shock sticks to the carpet, twisted like deadwood, he made the "bring it" gesture, he only time his smug angelic-themed helmet matched his inward mood!
The Pimpernel turned to his damged bike,
"Oracle, are you alright?"
A liquid metal seeped from the chasis of the bike and formed into a woman in a backless split ballgown, the same fiery red colour as the bike was, the hair brunette and worn in a long braid and a fringe, the damage seemed to affect her systems and had made glitches and freezing translated into her attractive face less so, by forming into verbal and facial tics!
"I'm Damaged, you Ass-sssssssssho-ole! Don't even thi-ink of replacing me-eeeeeeeeeee with a new mod-del-el!
"No one could ever replace you, Oracle, You are one of a kind!" he said with a smile that dissolved quickly, "Well Old Girl! how about your weapons systems they working?"
" All weapon-on-on-ons Systems-ems Offline! So none of your Parlour Tricks!
" Well I still have my Magic Tricks!" he said peeling his left glove from his hand, in his knuckles, that unmistakable scarring, a fragment of a Devil's Dvd! his hand glowed silver as he threw a Hadou-Kara Punch into the giant Paladin's Stomach sending him flying off the balcony the Pimpernel used to enter a few hours ago.
Later, the peaceful dawn broke over New London, though the sounds of workhouses below didn't let up, whatever birds were not choked out extinction, couldn't sing loud enough!
The Pimpernel gave the Countess and her father new clothes to blend with the working masses
"My Pimpernel, What can I Give you in Return of my life?"
-Well, my lady, I can think of one thing!
-"Oh how dare you, I am a Lady!" she blushed
-No. not that! Your Necklace, It's very Important to my lady friend
February 7th
Supplemental
As Surmised by Oracle the Garnet in the countess' Necklace contained Microchips of her memory of her arrival in this world, her hokum about other world's is true (Remind me to apoligise to her) the chips i downloaded contained a battle between Oracle and others like her but in some kind of uniform (was she in some kind of army?) and they were fighting HIM, With my Powers! Oracle who is still not aware fully of her past concluded it's not "HIM"-him! but a "dimensional counterpart of "HIM"" It seems Our 3 destinies are forever entwined unless i can save this other world before the terror has fallen there also!
TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED!
INTER-DIMENSIONAL INTERFERENCE DETECTED!
FORCED SHUTDOWN PROGRAM INITI,,,,
AND NOW, OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
(This month's Theme for the Week that's in it...My Countries Greatest Drinking, song 7 Drunken Nights)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XYL5s1k3ro
Remember in my review of Balls of Fury, I Called this film a knock Off of Dodgeball? THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT COMPARED TO WHAT I HAD TO WATCH!
The Dvd cover should tell you everything without watching this film, The Blurb from the Daily Mail, Coarse, Crass and Crude is some how construed as a compliment, the background is a close-up of a glass of lager, with a sticker of our heroes (and I use that term loosely) dressed as Olympic athletes, Bookmarked and each side, a nameless model and background character is dressed as slutty Durdl Girl and the image has being copied, pasted and side reversed to look symmetrical.
In other words this cover is the very essence of this film, Beer worship, Jingoism, Racism, Sexism and Laziness!
The Film Starts Appropriately enough with a voice laughing at us!
A lowlife Gambler is playing a double or Nothing game of Pennies with an older gentlemen and when he makes a lucky shot to win his money back the gangster gets furious, only when the gambler's brother comes in to stop it, it's revealed that the "gangster" is really...a priest!
Yeah, I'm An Atheist living in a country where the State News Kowtows to the church before it's bulletins, so Same Difference!
These two brothers are the Wolfhouse Brothers (their names change through the film before settling on Jan and Todd) Grandsons to the man of the funeral they are attending, a German Restaurateur called Johann, (Remember when Donald Sutherland was a respected Actor, THOSE WERE THE DAYS!) After inheriting the Restaurant and Johann's Childhood Puppet (PLOT ITEM!) After the Cremation Grandma Rose exposists that Johan wants his ashes to be spread over the Bavarian Octoberfest, there they will met a minister who will be their guide.
After title Drop the 2 Wolfhouse Brothers arrive, they watch a singing contest between Aussie Stereotypes and British Chavs, when they stop and think that the Tourists are a team and are offended by 99 Bottles of Beer on the wall", Rather than, say, I don't Know, CALMLY EXPLAINING THAT THEY'RE NOT, A domino effect ensures that causes a riot, multiple sexual assaults and deaths, as well as harm to the mayor's grandson, all from Jann trying to dodge a punch!
It's like a Game of Mouse-Trap That was sanctioned By Maxim Magazine!
They are saved the Minister they were waiting for and In Hiding in an Asylum, the only place no-one would look for Unsanctioned World Drinking games called Beerfest
Thinking the Urn is to adorn the hall of fame, the Wolfhouses are pushed by the Minister to watch a Drinking Contest Between Germany and....(Angry Breathing!) IRELAND!
(RACIST ALARM!)
So the German Team beats Ireland (making my tirade on countries that have a worse Drinking Culture to justify Directors to NOT use Drunken Irish Bastard Tropes from my Leap Year review, ring true!) The Wolfhouses learn that the 3 of the German team are Their Cousins, before the Minister is taken and shot for revealing beerfest, The Germans (who are never named but given their faces and degree of German accents are referred from now on as Not-Cleese, Not-Ledger and Not-Meany) reveal that their grandfather stole a beer recipe and throws in insults that rose was a whore into the mix.
A drinking Challenge by the American Wolfhouses is excepted, to prove a point, The Germans make Jann and Todd face their weakest members, 2 bodybuilders called Hammer and Slammer, neither of the Yanks make a dent in their Stein glasses and the yanks are Pelted with cabbage , the Munich Branch reveals that their Grandfather is the Mayor of Munich, Wolfgang Van Wolfhouse...or would if the boy playing his grandson didn't run across the screen ruining the reveal
"I'M ACTING"
Demanding the recipe Johan Stole, the Americans are pelted with Johan's ashes and Jan gets Punched after all! the 2 brothers leave Munich in Shame...
GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!
CREDITS
BeerFest was Reviewed Compiled and Ed..THUD!
Oh Yeah, i forgot that Joe-Jack chains the doors with a Silent Hill Magical deadlock seal, I'm stuck til I finish this!
So the Wolfhouses decide to enter an American team into BeerFest to defend the Colorado Branch's honour, recruiting a competitive Eater called Landfill, a Jewish Stereotype called Fink who..."extracts" male frogs...vital fluid for research called Fink, and Barry, a gigolo Coin-tosser and games-master with a lost touch...whilst sober and a terrible secret to why he can never play Ping Pong ever again!
Naturally we get a drinking Montage with a keg of Beer that ends with Landfill face down in food, Fink too exhausted to wank off frogs at work, Barry naked and next to a dead deer, and the worse Realization, they only drank half a kag between them, so Jan says they need special training at Grandma's!
HOW CAN ROSE HELP THE AMERICAN TEAM TRAIN? WAS SHE REALLY A WHORE IN HER PRIME? DID JOHAN REALLY STEAL THE FAMILY RECIPE? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHO IS THE PIMPERNEL OF EARTH 3 AND WHAT CONNECTION DOES HE HAVE WITH EAMONN AND CREW?
FIND OUT IN APRIL, ONLY, ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!
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ReplyDeletehttp://awriter.org/ !