SatanicOstrisch reviews Meet Dave part 2

(Previously on bogger box office....
Depressed on being defeated over and over by Eamonn, Joe-Jack and 80's Lad, Satanic Ostrich Quit his job as Satan! With nowhere to go, Ostrich prepared a job interview of sorts by reviewing Meet Dave to earn his keep!)
(This month's theme, because of the stupid love-plot between Gina and Dave, Robyn's the Girl and Robot aka I'm In Love With A Robot)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfckrfOYAy4
After seeing a painting, Gina asks the robot his name. After a lame joke that most of the world are Chinese, 1 uses the name Dave as his cover, he blatantly tells Gina he is an alien between talking like a dictionary, drinking ketchup like soda and LOUDLY Crushing eggs behind her back, she's too much of an idiot to notice,

After kicking her cat, Dave notices PG FILM CLICHE#1-DEAD PARENT PHOTO And her son Josh holding the meteorite. Gina tells Dave that he is at school and always carries the meteorite everywhere.

Meanwhile, Our subplot is planted as a conspiracy Theorist Cop and his long suffering partner are on his trail.

After more Shameless Advertising, this time for Apple, The crew are beginning to lose their minds. 17 becomes a black stereotype, 2's mind is blown by Humanity's history of disregard for each other, and seeing a couple kiss makes 3 Have deep-set feelings for 1.

Passing the school playground in his white suit makes every child think he's an ice-cream man. Despite not having anything pertaining to Ice-cream, the children still follow him.

And here's me using my Jimmy Saville costume like a sucker!
(AUDIENCE BOOS!)
AHHH FUCK OFF! I'M THE FUCKING DEVIL! I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY SHIT LIKE THAT!

After buying new clothes and causing a scene, Dave replicates money by...Farting some. Stumbling onto Broadway, 4 turns gay by seeing musicals.
YES MUSICALS WILL DO THAT TO YOU! THAT'S WHY I MADE THEM!

Josh is being bullied at school and the meteorite is stolen because of plot convenience. Dave arrives and asks the principal where is the 5th grade class, the principal assumes he is a substitute teacher without ever asking his background.

Wow, Eamonn, That sounds like the Education Policy of your home country of Ireland, AMIRITE?
(AUDIENCE BOOS!)
OH FUCK OFF, YOU PAID!

After giving the class a theorem for renewable Energy, Josh is separated from his class and tells him that the meteorite was stolen by PG FILM CLICHE #2 SEMI RETARDED BULLY who hangs out at the deli after school. At said Deli, Dave diffuses an armed Robbery.
(Ostrich reads from a dictionary)
Incognito: Adj 1 Having a false identity 2 doing things the opposite of meet Dave!

Josh tells Dave the bully left during the robbery but will be at the PG FILM CLICHE#3 CROWDED FUNFAIR tomorrow.

Back at the crashsite, a cast of Dave's face is created by police, after the robbery it's not long til 2 and 2 are put together.

In the ship, the Nilians exposure to human emotions are referred to by Dr. 0 as a virus, 4 adopts a Parlarie(gay) accent, 12 starts to paint, 17 uses Ebonics and we get background on 1 and 3, who have being friends since childhood, they too, despite being the more level headed of the aliens are overcome with emotions after watching It's a wonderful Life. (despite the setting being August, and this not being a Christmas movie, which means it'll be shown on bank holidays for years to come!)

Number 1 has 12 hours to the meteorite before his space-ship dies. So naturally we show him wasting time in a funfair! This leads to PG FILM CLICHE#4 GIFTS=ROMANCE!
This Leads to the ship Dispatching all the food by jettison using Multiple Toilet splashing sound effects.
I Didn't mention it as it wasn't conductive to the storyline of this film, BUT WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FART JOKES? This isn't Thunderpants, though it looks more appealing compared to Meet Dave!

Finally the Plot is back as Josh tries to get the meteorite back from the Bully, Dave wedgies him to obtain it. While 2 wants to absorb the water and leave us Pitiful Humans to die. The other Nilians are having too much fun. After suffering a concussion, the Limited power reserves of Dave take a hit that looks like a heart Attack to humans. In Hospital, a MRI Blows daves cover. Out to dinner number 17 gets drunk on Dave's mojitos and dances out off the ship. Inside the ship, 4 Enshewing his uniform for Camp Gay threads, gives 3 a makeover. 2 is if anything having a Villianous Breakdown. The cops arrest Dave just as 2 takes over the ship, Causing a jailbreak. 2 exiles 1 and 3 out of Dave. After a scene completely ripped off from toy story, 1 and 3 return to Dave. The cops find 17 and helps him get back to Liberty Island.

Let's end this misery.
Number 1 overrides Dave, but the meteorite makes contact with water and begins to syphon it, but Dave sacrifices his remaining 10% of his power reserves to save Earth, But Josh uses the cop's tazer to recharge his batteries, the cop returns 17 as Dave's crew escape from a rescue pod in this foot.

Oh and the Nilian's Planet is still doomed, but hey, every film by 21st century FUCKS must end with sequel bait, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoYWdHe4tQ4
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The Misery from his film fills me with joy!
Does Eddie Murphy have a fetish for terrible CGI? Cos this makes pluto nash look like Black Swan in comparsion. Murphy cannot do an English accent (why?) and his supporting cast are all hams. No two-ways about it. It's a film that's destined to be shown at any and every bank holiday. Like Thunderpants, it thinks that fart jokes will it entertaining to children. And fails miserably.

Very good. And though I may regret it, you can stay, but only if you can get a job. But you can have my spare room.
I DON'T TAKE TOO MUCH SPACE~#!
(Ostrich turned into a puff of smoke and flowed up the chimney, Laughing his wicked cackle!)

CREDITS
Meet Dave was Reviewed as SatanicOstrich, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham
With clips and music from
Tom and Jerry the movie
and The Girl and Robot by Robyn
Meet Dave is property of 21st Century Fox
All clips belong to there respected owners
All rights reserved
NEXT MONTH MYSTERY REVIEW REVEALED OR LOG ONTO MY MAIN SITE, pathofenlightment.blogspot.com for Reveal post.