Attention! I have another Confession.
I have No Nostalgia for the Indiana Jones Series.
And It's not like I Don't know who he is, as a Child of the 90s, you were Too early for Memes, But you were ready for Cross-References in Cartoons!
But as for the films, I never watched them as a child, It was only when I moved from my parents House, Was when I could watch them.
For You see, A good chunk of my family are Afraid of snakes! I am Not, so I don't have that issue watching the series. But Growing up I was not allowed.
But Now That I have being living as my own man for most of my adult life?
The Films are Good, Ark is Possibly Peak Cinema in Terms of Practical Effects and Storytelling. With Last Crusade and The first one being a tight race for Second!
But what about The fourth film?
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| "WE DON'T TALK ABOUT SHIA!" |
Aliens? Gobshia LaBueof? The Fridge Scene?
I know you are swimming in N*zi Rat Money like Scrooge McDuck, George Lucas, But get your act Together Son!
So I am going in Blind, Since Disney Plus is something I will not pay Money for, I have not seen any of this nor have I read any spoilers or reviews prior to the Writing of the last Paragraph. So has Lucas Learned his lesson?- EVEN THOUGH HE'S NOT THE DIRECTOR ANYMORE! Let's find out!
Wow, that's a mighty fine looking DVD cover, you have, America!
WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?
THE FOLLOWING FILM IS RATED 12, BUT IS SET IN WWII AND BEYOND, AS SUCH, DUE TO GOOGLE'S NEW TERMS AND CONDITIONS, OBVIOUS WORDS AND NAMES HAVE BEING CENSORED.
We open with Huge Action in the Opening Minute, as N*zis bundle a man in one of their uniforms into a Museum whilst other Greyshirts are moving boxes and Crates out of it. Their Captive is bound and his head is covered in a potato sack, whilst Toby Jones looks on from the Shadows. Gee I wonder who that is?
The Soldiers reveal its Naturally, Indiana Jones, or rather a big money CGI Harrison Ford, it's not a Patch on the CGI they used to make a Five foot Chris Evans, but it's a Serviceable Younger Ford. Indie tells us it's 1944, as he drops that the war is over and H*tler is in hiding.
To one side, A Professor (Mads Mickelson) has exclaimed to the Colonel that they found "it".
The "It" in question, the Lance of Longinus, the Spear which supposedly pierced the Flesh and drew the blood of Jesus Christ during the Crucifixion.
Finding what they sought, the N*zis load up the Treasures but the Colonel, not Convinced Indie had come alone, orders Soldiers with Dogs into the forest to Find Toby Jones. Meanwhile, Dr Jones is to hang And nearly does, if not for his trusty pocket knife, but it's tough going, the rope is a lot Thicker than expected, however a Bomb falls in their Vicinity on a carpet, that breaks The Floorboards underneath, causing a hole and slowly effected by Gravity, the Weight of the bomb causes the carpet to be dragged into the hole, down several floors and it only explodes once reaching impact!
Great, now we need the Mythbusters to come out of retirement to Debunk this scene too!
Anyone not a named character is killed in the blast, that only Blows back Dr Jones. Meanwhile on the Train to Berlin, The N**is have captured Toby Jones who feigns innocence and speaks German while Indie carjacks a ride to get to the train...not knowing it's a cab for Top Generals.
Dr Basil Shaw (Toby Jones) is being interrogated on the train in transit, his story being just a Birdwatcher is found to be a lie when the contents of Indiana's bag is shown, the Trademark Fedora and whip. Indie crashes the car into a motorcycle which was part of the security detail, and zips through the forest on his newly lifted bike to the train to rescue Dr Shaw from Being Tortured, the ineffectual Grunts, if not distracted by a "Hey, You", are convinced that this man who speaks no German is their Commander. Indie retrieves the Blade just as Mads Mickelson tells the Colonel something at the same time to the same Conclusion: The Spear is a Fake! As a Physicist, not an Archaeologist, Dr Schmidt (Mickelson) has Concluded the Alloyed Replica is no older than 50 years old. In fact all the Treasures are Fake...except for one.
The Antikythera....the Eponymous Dial of Destiny!
In real life, the Antikythera is an Ancient, Super accurate Clock that not only tell the time but the phases of the Moon, and even counted for Leap years!
But In this World, the Antikythera is a time machine. Indie Recovers his bag and Gear. Punching Schmidt for just being in his way, as Basil Reveals the Half of the Dial of Destiny they found on his person. As Soldiers crawl outside the sides of the Train to get to Indiana , He, also outside, jury rigged a Rail gun to shoot them All, except the Colonel who Indie has a Knife Fight with on the Roof of the moving train. In the scuffle, Jones tosses a Gun at Basil who shoots the Colonel right between the eyes. Stumbling, Indiana Jones kicks the Soldier off the Train to his death. Dr Schmidt climbs up to demand the Dial of Destiny, only for him to be Knocked off by a post Pole. It's Literally the End of the Line as Both Doctors Jones and Shaw, leap off the Train before it crashes into the Cold River Below.
2 Decades past, and Indie, now played by The real Harrison Ford, is now a shell of his former self. The Great hero now sleeping in his Flat's Recliner, woken by Loud Music, Threatening Those Durn Kids with a Baseball Bat, in his Pants!
It's 1969, as New York city is Gearing up to Celebrate the Moon Landing, as Evidenced by the Bunting up around the City, and the College where Dr Jones is teaching a Bored and Distracted class, save for an enthusiastic Women (Phoebe Waller Bridge). The class is about Archimedes, and while he mentions real Life things like the Archimedes Screw and the Displacement Story, he also mentions the Sun Laser myth. And that he invented the Dial of Destiny. But his class is interrupted by a television bought in to watch the Parade for the Astronauts. So much for Indiana Jones' last Class!
Yes today was Dr Jones' Retirement, he's being working that job for 30 years, they give him A watch, and kick him in the Butt on the way out...
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| "DATS HARD TIMETH, DADDEH! DAT'S HARD TIMETH!" |
PWB Starts to trail the now Former lecturer to a bar, not realising she is being tailed by a Soul Sista. Finding him at the bar, she introduces herself, she is Helena Shaw, Basil's Daughter. She has an Embarrassing Nickname of "Wombat". But I'll just call her Helena!
Across the street in a Hotel, Dr Schmidt and his goons are busy brandishing Guns and looking displeased with the fact a Black man has Served them their room service. After Agent Klauber claims the Physicist in this room created the rocket fuel that was used to power the Apollo, The Bitter N**i, learning that the porter is Former Military, makes a point that "People like You" still serve "People like Him". Klauber gets a Phone-call, the Sista works for them as a field agent. So he and The Big Muscleman, Hawk goes to Kidnap her.
Helena is here with Bittersweet news for her family friend. She is now a Doctor of Archaeology herself, but her father had recently died. Her Area of Expertise, The very same Artefact her Father lost in Alps and Spent his life to recover it: the Antikythera.
After Reciting the Wiki on the OOPart, she wants To invite Dr Jones back to Germany to search for the missing Dial, in one of those great adventures she only ever heard about. Jones however remembers (as far as Helena knows) that losing the Dial and his subsequent search Drove Basil Mad.
The Woman with the Afro, meets up with Schmidt's Goons, And a Little Guy with a Crutch. She mentions the name "Henry Jones" and the Guy with the Crutch has a Double take like he has heard the name before, but that doesn't stop the other Goons from Sprinting Into the bar with guns Drawn.
Finding himself lured to the Backroom of Hunter College, where Dr Jones reveal he had the Dial all the time, that the story of dropping it in the Alps was a cover, before she was old enough to truly understand the truth. However, Jones tells her Basil's Obsession with the Dial's power after finding Archimedes' Notebook drove him to Madness, when he found out that the mathematician Discovered the rotation of Planet was not perfect and his device could predict Storms Disturbing the Skies, But possibly other Disturbances like, cracks in time!
The Black Agent named as Ms Mason, is Accosted by a Secretary, so Hawk shoots her Dead, a Professor who heard the collapse by the silenced bullet gets killed too, Mason is shocked but Klauber and Hawk have direct orders from Doctor Schmidt, As the Elevator Opens to Reveal the Crutch Guy and some Expendable Jobbers for the upcoming fight scene.
Indie Grimly tells Helena the last time he saw Basil alive, he took the Dial from him, the 2 had found a Tablet called the Grafikos, A Riddle told in poem that are Directions to the second Half of the antikythera. While Basil had Worked himself up, he was not obsessed with using the dial's power, but fearing those could, would change history, all the while Mason and Klauber have got both Doctors Surrounded, Helena lets slip she knows more than she lets on, but before Jones can get an answer, the agents Close in on them. Mason tries to calm Jones down, But He just grabs her and asks who are you People?
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| "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?" |
But before he can get his answer, he knocks over bookshelves to make space enough to escape,
A chase scene breaks out on the Backdrop of a Busier than usual NYC, As everyone has turned out to welcome the astronauts. Jones could have walked away, but he sees his colleagues Dead, when hours ago there were happily celebrating his retirement. He tries to phone the police But he is caught by the Cannon fodder, worse he can't even land a Punch on the grunts and he is covered by a Burlap Sack, again!-Deja Vu, Huh?
Thrown Into an Armoured Car, the Agents Question Indiana On the Dial and Helena, But the Parade is blocking their Escape, So they have to Traverse by Foot, Using an Anti-war Protest as cover.
Indie starts joining in with the Chants and it annoys Klauber, who takes a Swing, and Jones Blocks it to start powering up his Protag powers to take out the Grunts. He grabs a peace sign to smash over Hawk's head, But it bounces off the Bigman. Feeling besmirched, Klauber pulls out The Glock and shoots it into the Crowd. Jones Finds a Mounted Policeman approaching the shot he Heard to investigate, before he too is assaulted, Jones Sees the Horse on standby and Mounts it to escape through the parade With Klauber on a motorbike and Hawk carjacking Miss World's Limousine!
THIS BETA FOR THE LONG AWAITED GTA6 IS WEIRD!
Indie is Surrounded, until he rides down the Subway, even keeping pace with a train on the horse and onto the train, when he dismounts, Without paying, but he probably has a travel pass at his age!
Schmidt is Interviewed for a Newspaper Article on his part in the space race, prior to meeting the President, when he gets a phone-call from Mason, she has sent a file on Henry Jones to him and Schmidt recognises the face of the man who Punched him for just following orders. So he tells him staff to book a chartered plane to Morocco.
Hours pass and Jones finds a Tv in the window of the Electronics Shop, the news twisted by the agents who have spun the Narrative that Jones killed his co-workers in Hunter's after being Bitter about his Retirement, his divorce and the off-screen death of Sh*tty LaBoof!
He's Running and Screaming from Greenscreen Angels Now!
A drunk Sobers up enough to recognise Jones, until a pair of fists calls Last orders on the drunk's Consciousness. The Fists belong to Jones' old friend Sallah, who has comes to save his bacon, but it's may be too late!
Sallah explains that Helena was on the run from Interpol because she Stole and Smuggled Antiques, Drawing The Ire of the Aziz Family of Gangsters in Morocco, where in a week's time Big Rahim Aziz, owner of the Hotel Atlantique in Tangiers will Host his Auction of Stolen Rarities.
Despite Sallah Warning Indie That leaving the Country will only make the people believe he's guilty, Jones is afraid on who may use the dial, as no Doubt he Believes Some party at the Auction has the second Antikythera Gear.
Reluctantly, Sallah Drives Him to Airport. Whilst at his home to Pickup his passport and Basil's notes, he also Packed his whip and Hat, he wishes that Indiana will "GIVE'EM HELL", Nearly gets Indie ran over.
On the Plane, Indiana Reads The Jumbled Ramblings Basil had sent him For years before his death, He remembers the day he took the dial from Basil who was going to smash the treasure to pieces. Indie lied to Basil when he said he would destroy it himself, Naturally didn't believe in Temporal Storms and Time Travel. And he Still Doesn't. But seeing all the things he has in the past, had made him open to the idea.
We see on a British Plane that Helena is Also bound for Morocco.
We waste No Time as we cut to the Bustling Hotel Atlantique, where Jones' Eavesdropping has Found both the Gangster Big Rahim Aziz and Helena Who Already has started Selling the Gear, and we also found our Annoying Sidekick-A Squeaky Voiced Teen who thinks he's a Hard-man Pilot called Teddy Furam, using the alias of Lewis (it's never referred to ever again). The Argument between both Doctors, who are revealed to be Godfather and Goddaughter, gets the Attention of Schmidt and Hawk, the German claims the Device is his property despite stealing it. Which causes Helena to pipe up with this.
"You stole it, he stole it, and I stole it to sell it! It's called Capitalism!"
Jones pulls the table cloth to bag up the Dial, inciting a Mexican standoff from every Criminal Organisation Rep here. But Godfather and Goddaughter fight off waves of Gangsters and Gendarmes alike, the woman sliding the gear to the annoying Sidekick, who legs it with Schmidt and Hawk in hot pursuit. The Two Archaeologists are Arrested, but the police back off when they see a car drive behind Indie. It contains Big Rahim holding a sword and that must mean he's not happy!
Rahim, revealed to be Helena's Husband out of a marriage of convenience, gets more upset when he learns she pawned her wedding ring. So he orders his bikers to chase them down and kill them, until Teddy steals a Tuk-tuk to rescue them.
One exhilarating car chase later, the 2 big loads steal another Tuk-tuk to get away from Jones, but changes their tune when it's shot up. Catching up to Schmidt, Helena pulls out a Roof hitch brandishing it like a crowbar, but the Engine in this one blows out too.
On a Helicopter, Miss Mason gives Dr Schmidt the Riot Act: 3 people dead, one a police officer, a nationally televised Parade hijacked, the President stood up, and every Mafia, Syndicate, Tong and Triad wants him dead. Schmidt is lucky the president only wants him back in America. The question is: what does America get out of this?
Seemingly nothing anymore, as Klauber, Hawk and Schmidt hijack the Chopper and Kill everyone else on board, as Mason dies from her gun wound, Schmidt reveals his name is Jurgen Voller.
As the sea Stallion helicopter flies over Chocolate flavoured Shia, Teddy asks Indiana if he's old enough to have known the Wright brothers personally.
Naturally, after everything that he's gone through, Jones is not in mood. Turns out not only does Voller have the dial, but all of Basil's notebooks on said. Helena's not worried because she knows where the Grafikos is. Jones moans that even if she does know where it is, she can't read Ancient Greek. But she says the Grafikos won't be in Greek , it'll be written in one of 2 of Archimedes' Code.
Yeah, and when you crack the Code it's going to be in Greek, which you can't Read, as far as this man who hasn't seen you in 20 years knows.
And Annoyingly, that's the hook to get Indie to Chase after the Helicopter, by plugging the Engine with gum and hoping for the best! With Jones' Connections, he knows that Helena needs him, more than he needs her.
Arriving in Athens that night, by way of a van. Indy finds on his diving boat his old friend, Renaldo (Antonio Banderas). One time the greatest frogman in Spain. Much to the Annoyance of Teddy who is not impressed by the Dilapidated Boat and the equally Dilapidated Crew!
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| "DID SOMEONE SAY DILAPIDATED BOAT?-THATS WONNNNNDERRRRRFULLLL!" |
On the long boat journey, Helena Entertains the crew with Magic tricks. When Indie accuses her of folding the cards to make him and Renny pick the same card, Helena explains it more Confidence than trick that she pushed both of her marks to pick the same card via force of her personality, though indie takes offence to being called a mark.
Concerned for his friend, Renny calls it a night. Indie asks Helena if any of Basil's notes Mentions the date of 3 days from now- August the 20th 1969, 30 years and 2 weeks before H*tler invades Poland. The date was all over Basil's Notes and no doubt why Schmidt/Voller is in Pursuit of the Antikyretika in the first place. Helena scoffs that Indie now believes in Magic, he says he's seen too much he can't explain away.
"How did I know I could survive being nuked by hiding in a fridge, and not even get a singe on my suit?"
Helena Asks Dr Jones what he would do if he could travel in time. Jones answer he'd stop his son from Enlisting and being killed.
"I should have told him the Bullets aren't CGI!"
But he wouldn't save him, just have his soul be at peace for is going to happen to his family in the next 20 plus years.
In other words, not even in Universe, noone wants Shia to return!
The Next Morning Everyone but Teddy (Because the Sidekick can never be useful!) Are Geared up ready to Dive, until Helena spots something In the water, at first she thinks it's Sharks, but to Indie's Horror it's Eels, as Teddy sing-songs "They look like sna-akes!"
You are the only irritating Character not in a Horror film, that I'm ACTIVELY HOPING GETS KILLED! Never since Jocasta from Last Night in Soho have I wished the death of a Character!
He's stuck on the boat to check the Oxygen levels of the divers, and you'd think that would grant my wish that sidekicks can be useful,....
Do you think I would Trust Monkey D. Doofus here not to Screw up?
In the shipwreck, an Angry swarm of eels attack Helena when she disturbs the chest the Treasure is found. Gathering his courage, Jones saves Helena. The surface Teddy spies a Second boat speeding towards them. As the Divers rise to the surface they see their boat being attacked by guns, the Unnamed fourth diver being killed, as Jones, Shaw and Renny inflate their lifejackets to float up quicker.
They return on board to see Voller, Klauber and Hawk had killed everyone but Teddy. With the Grafikos uncovered, the Physicist still has use for his captives, as he cannot Decipher the code the Tablet is in. Indy refuses, so Voller shoots Renny, who at least goes down swinging before his demise. But this gets Helena to pipe up to save her skin, getting paid in diamonds. So she uncovers the the Riddle "A Place where Wolves learn to walk" the Greek for Wolf sound like the Greek for school. The verb "to Walk" is also used for "to count" so to learn to count you go to a School of Mathematics in Archimedes' home city of Alexandria. As the woman walks around, she slips Indie a Stick of Dynamite. The riddle continues with under the one of nine, Helena states the roof of the School has Statues of the Muses, the Goddesses of art. So it stands to reason The great inventor hid the time machine under the statue of the Muse of History, Clio. The N**i is so focused on the Riddle he did not notice Indiana had moved at all, the Dynamite lit and passed back to Helena who throws it at the villains, the blast doesn't destroy Renny's Boat, but it does stuns the Professor and his Cohorts long enough for the Heroes to steal the Speedboat to sail to Turkey.
Except Helena had tricked the N**is, the riddle only sends the reader to Archimedes' Tomb, not to the Second gear, something they noticed when they removed the "Stone" tablet and noticed how smooth and Light it was. Remembering that the first Gear was sealed in wax, they make a fire and the tablet melts to reveal a Golden Disc that looks like a Star chart. Just by looking at, Indie can tell it's Egyptian (a close-up of the Disc shows hieroglyphics to confirm this). The Disc had a riddle etched on it too, and it bring our heroes closer to the real treasure in Sicily, hopefully they have put up enough of a Subterfuge to Confuse the N**is on a Wild goose Chase!
....Except Voller was Spying on them going west towards Italy and not East towards the Sub Continent.
Location: Sicily During a Church procession, a wedding and a Market day at the same time. The Riddle's answer is the cave of Dionysus, but during the day, it's crawling with Tourists. Teddy is worried that Dr Jones is running the show now and that means that any gains will not be Ill-gotten, Despite Helena saying that's not the case.
The Adults gear up with new backpacks, until it time to ask "Where's Poochie?"
Yes it's time for Replacement Short Round to get a character arc. After the Petty little Sh*t pickpockets a child in a designer suit for laughing at his hat ( Seriously, if they dressed a child like that in real-life, you might as well have him wear a Sandwich board that reads "JUST ROB ME!") He buys ice-cream, looks out to sea and sees the German, he turns and he's grabbed by his goons.
"Oh no....so terrible...."
Jones hears the screeches of the irritating Cutpurse and sees him bungled into a van, it's time for another Car chase! But the only vehicle in their line of sight is a Volkswagen Beetle being decorated as a wedding carriage. So it gets lifted, as the wedding party chases after it.
Under a pantheon like template, they find the Cave of Dionysus. "The Ear that hears Whispers like a Hurricane" according to the Riddle. Helena hearing her echo, works out the Gear must be buried where the Echoes are at their loudest. Except it isn't buried, when they find the apex of sound on a cliff face, which when the light of the setting sun hits the cave in such a way, causes the light to project the Crescent moon from the Grafikos onto it. So not only does Indie have to climb, he also gets to complain about having to climb. The N**is arrive, Just as they uncover a secret cave behind a waterfall, because of course. Helena tells Indie Teddie's Back Story as he was a thief that tried to steal from her whilst she was on a job herself, and they gave being watching each other backs since. They then get covered by every insect known to man, and run foolishly into a Room that pumps methane that has an Atrium pool and column pieces around the room. Remembering that this was a puzzle built in honour of Archimedes, The Puzzle to open the door is Water displacement. Tossing the Pieces of Columns into the pool to open the doors before they Succumb to the gas.
The Atrium Slants into a waterslide, into a hidden passage. Teddy tries to escape, but is handcuffed to the Big Goon, Hawk. The Brute Gingerly tries to cross a Rickety Rope Bridge, but his resourceful prisoner grabs the key to the cuffs, bites onto it and forces himself and his giant Jailer into the White Rapids below. The two hit a sluice gate but it has rusted enough to allow Teddie to swim out, but not before freeing his restraints and Cuffing Hawk to the gate to drown.
What was that about Not being able to Swim?
Meanwhile Jones and Helena Finds the Real Tomb of Archimedes, His Skeletal Remains Lovingly Holding the Second gear, Observing the Sarcophagus and the corpse, they determine the artwork showing a phoenix with propellers and the body has a Rusted watch on his wrist-Confirming That Archimedes must have used the dial to travel to the Future in his life time. Just as Voller Reveals himself.
With Helena taking As Hostage, Jones Begrudgingly Gives Voller the second gear, the Villain combines the two to recreate some kind of console, But before Voller can press the button, Teddy, who was spying on them, leaps onto the back of the German and the doctors fight them off!
Helena gets Teddy out of the cave, But Jones gets Shot in the chest, as the villain Round him up. Stealing a Motorbike, they trail the blue van. In a twist to the trope, Jones finds out The evil plan to have the allies Lose the war is to assassinate...AD**F H**LER?
But it's understandable-Voller is a man of Science and reasoning, H*tler was so obsessed about the Occult and Fortune Telling, those beliefs bled into his more insidious ideology, to the point he sent troops to North Africa to grave rob Pyramids or Viking Burial grounds in Scandinavia to find some kind of Ar*an Birthright. But With the N**is under someone who lived with those mistakes, They will make sure not to make them in the first place.
It's Time for Teddy to put up or shut up all his big talk about piloting a plane, as the Na*is in Full regalia, invade an airship, as Helena jumps onto the Landing Gear of Voller's plane from a speeding bike. And crawls Inside as the Next scene below plays out.
That's when Indiana realizes something Voller didn't calculate for-Continental Drift over 1000s of years, it was not a concept at the time, The Coordinates will not put them anywhere near Munich 1939.
As the Physicist realizes this to be true, the plane cannot veer or turn away it's being Drawn to the Crack in Time, much like a Black Hole's Event Horizon.
When the two planes fly out of the Brilliant light, The Na*is, Jones, Helena, Teddy and the guy who owns the plane teddy hotwired who was asleep in the cockpit, End up.....Over Sicily.....Where they were to begin with.....
.....It's only when they get closer they realize their mistake. Not seeing Italian Battleships, But Roman Warships. They went too far back!
So far Back, That Archimedes himself realizes That Someone used his Antikytera in the future to come here, when his students talk about Dragons!
Jones realizes Where and When they are, After all His last Lecture was on this Subject: They are In 214BC, During the battle of Syracuse. As Voller has a Mental Breakdown, Klauber Smashes a Window to shoot a machine gun, when Both Pilots are Skewered by Ballista Arrows. Helena Reveals herself in a "Hello Boys" Fashion, and Makes all the Unnamed Grunts fall to their Deaths by Trap Door, Only for her To be Pulled Down by one enemy to Dangle for her life. Voller attacks Indy when he grabs the last Parachute, But Helena Shoots Voller away. She and Indie land Safely While Voller and Klauber can only look at each other as the plane smashes into Sicily as a burning Wreck!
The Mathematician Finds the Wreckage and inside It, Pilfers Voller's Watch-The Watch Archimedes will be buried with-and puts it on his wrist., while his Student holds up the Antikythera.
Landing on the Beach, and seeing Teddy flying Towards them, Helena Gasps in Horror when she see's the extent of Indie's Gun wound. Indie Pulls out a piece of Paper. It's Coordinates, He tells his Goddaughter that she and Teddy should find Archimedes, and reverse the numbers to get home-without him. That's when Archimedes Reveals himself when his Students Armed with Bows and Arrows save them from an Ambush.
The Great Inventor Tells Us this Meeting is a Canon Event, the Antikythera is a fixed point in time, It can only go to 214 BC In a attempt to save Greece. Indie wants to die on his own terms: to see his life work on the Battle of Syracuse Validated First Hand, But Helena has other ideas when she Knocks his Ass Out! And he wakes in his flat, In a clean bed and even cleaner Bandages.
In the Time Indie was In a coma, Helena and Sallah Convinced Marion Jones, Indie's ex-wife to Stick around until he Pulled through, So Everyone So the Jones can have their Moment, As Marion's Theme plays out as they kiss, The camera cuts to and pulls away from the second bananas making their leave, the camera rises to The balcony of Indie's Flat, where his hat is on a clothesline, a fade out bubble encircles the hat, only for Indies hand to grab it, the only reference they didn't use at this point and we see no more!
MEH!
I Cannot be nicer or Allow Myself to Nit-pick this Entry anymore than I have to this point. Yes, Ford is getting on in Years. Yes, Mads is Typecast as a villain. Yes, Waller-Bridge is overrated and Everywhere. But One thing that is wrong with Modern Star wars is a thing that is bought over to Modern Indiana Jones, The theme is overused when action scenes or When Nostalgia Hook is used. It's blasted all through the film and it loses it's impact and meaning!
But You know what?-It's better than Crystal Skull! And that in itself is a glowing recommendation!
CREDITS
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham.
With Media from:
The Simpsons
Disney's Encanto
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Wikipedia
NWA
Family Guy
Ironic by Alanis Morrisette
The Critic
WWE RAW
All rights reserved. All media used belong to their respective owners.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny was Produced by Lucasfilm LTD and Distributed by Disney.
NEXT TIME ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...
Something.... Something.... Ezra Miller is an A-Hole!
Next month we review the Flash.
AND NOW THE CONTINUATION OF THE STORYLINE!
THE 2 DEATHS OF E!
CHAPTER 3-Death and Extinction are 2 different things!
(Eamonn continued to walk under the duress of his kidnappers through the Grey Area- a Pocket layer of Existence that looks like our world in greyscale, but is the place where Thoughts go to be Forgotten. Still walking with Death's Pistols cocked and ready to fire, Eamonn looked towards the Plague Doctor, who was also his kidnapper.)
"Actually, you didn't answer all of my Questions."
"oh?"
"No, you didn't. You didn't tell me why your Masters want me Dead!"
"OHHHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" That laugh was so effeminate, coming from that body, it was actually alarming!
"And who said we Vanted to kill you? Killing something that is going extinct will be so cruel, unt mien friend has a bad reputation already!"
"But that is the..."
"-Same thing? " Was this what you were about to be saying? No! We don't Vant to kill you, we don't even have the power, or Authority to save you!" ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT, But in our experience, Not Even our previous Quarries could or wanted to, they just...let it happen!"
"You said you worked for these, Appraisers. But what Exactly is going on? What is Capturing me when you could have captured any other Human, set to accomplish?"
"Fine, I'll tell You!" said the Puppet shaped like Death. "We work for the Appraisers, Y'all know that much, But their full Title is The Appraisers of Will. All Creatures who's powers come from observing and Continuing the flow of time answer to them. They are the literal Gears of Time, that keeps time chuggin' along! But what they want with you, Knowin' that you will, and have being Sticking yer nose in our business, is Their Business!
"And the form of a childhood memory, that frightened me?"
"Perception Filter, Psychically linked to trigger your Amygdala, the Fear Centre in Your Brian. An insurance Policy for when I'm on the job proper. Come on Take a swing, I bet you can't, Don't worry about it, I KNOW YOU WON'T! C'mon times-a-wasting! We Need to Deliver you to the Appraisers already!"
THE 2 DEATHS OF E WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEXT REVIEW!
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