The Suicide Squad Review

A Game of Two Halves And No Quarter: Contract Breach.

In The Hidden Sphere, where Sabaru's true form worked her League of heroes behind the scenes, she was scanning all the "Fixtures" dramatic fights with her former compatriots in the Cognitive War, knowing their Exile will be how their silence is assured. It was all about making sure that the deck was slightly out of her charges favour, After all. She played a long game when it came to hope. The others of her kind? Their greed was the reason she was the LAST Mara! Sucking on fear of humans every night! No. She will savour the moment. The League. The Planet Harmonis. The planned Future Academy. See will Savour the Meal. All she needed to do was her heroes to perform.

And fatten up the Planets with Hope!

AND NOW! OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!

SO IT'S 2022! And like the God Janus. We are looking back at what has came and looking forward to moving on. It truly is the month for Endings and Beginnings, Contemplating and Expectation.

 What better way to start January With an Ending as our New Year's Beginning? Let's dig into the Rumoured Last Outing of Margot Robbie's Ass as Harley Quinn in THE Suicide Squad.

Well, The Poster is a Walking Spoiler! As if you couldn't avoid the memes online!

We open with Johnny Cash Folsom prison blues. We are back in Belle Reve Prison, New Orleans, Louisiana. The Elderly Genius Prisoner, Savant has being called from solitary confinement to join the Suicide Squad to shave 10 years off his term. Like before, he has his Brainstem fitted with a bomb should he escape. Our only 2 regulars are Rick Flag and Captain Boomerang, so let's meet our new recruits.

SAVANT-once an heir to an European Count. He was disowned after he was arrested for being a vigilante in Gotham city. Blessed with Photographic Memory and Sporadic amnesia, Savant is an expert on all things lethal and can read movement patterns.

BLACKGUARD- Originally a knight themed villain with super strength and energy weapons, now he's....

just a millennial asshat with a gun!

MONGAL- Mongol is an alien warlord, who once kidnapped Superman to fight other prisoners in his gladiator planet, WARWORLD!

HE'S NOT IN THIS FILM!

ITS HIS SISTER, THE ONE CREATED AS A JOKE

GET IT? SHE'S NOT MONGOL, she's MonGAL!

BECAUSE SHE'S (GASP!) A WOMAN!

ANYWAY TEN A PENNY ALIEN WITH SUPER STRENGTH!

JAVELIN-A German Olympian, who turned to crime to pay for the lavish lifestyle, his niche sport couldn't pay for!

TDK- (Nathan Fillion) more on Harvey from Teenage Witch later!

WEASEL-A College Student studying DNA born with Dwarfism, Bullied and Shot Down romantically until he injected Weasel DNA as an experiment to increase his growth past his limits.

Weasel became a character who was shown in a different light because girls thought he looked cute

"Weasel is so cute" They said.

"He Killed his Bullies and raped and killed their girlfriends"

-I CAN CHANGE HIM!

And off Course, Harley is Back, citing her little adventure in Birds of Prey as "a Road Rage Charge"!

So Harley Flirts with Javelin over his accent, TDK is coy about his name and Blackguard is an idiot! And with that being all the characterization they will get, is it no wonder the Mission Control is running a deadpool on who dies first?

That dishonour goes to Weasel, giving it's a animal power, Animal Weakness deal! Weasels can't swim And he dies off the shore of Corta Maltese. Blackguard had sold out the team to the Army, but gets a bullet in the brain! Ironic end for an idiot! And now it's time to properly introduced TDK.

Arms Falls off Boy, Later the Detachable Kid, is a hero turned Villain who can detach his arms to move them Psychically from a distance, or regrow a new pair to use the old as melee weapons. MonGAL jumps up and brings down a chopper, Killing all of the enemy....and Boomerang, and TDK, Javelin,...oh and Herself!

Oh MonGAL!

You, WOMAN! you!

In fear, Savant deserts the mission, making Waller having to detonate the bomb on his brain!

But it was all part of the plan, to send a SECOND Suicide Squad to invade, who we meet via flashback

ROBERT DUBOIS AKA BLOODSPORT! (Idris Elba) A Mercenary who once shot Superman with a Kryptonite Bullet. Waller is blackmailing him, to keep his daughter out of prison.

CHRIS SMITH AKA PEACEMAKER: A PTSD LADEN Soldier who uses Liberty to justify his murders out of being dismissed. He's played by a certain former Wrestler....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2D-ZO2rGcSA

NANAWAE AKA KING SHARK: (Voice of Sylvester Stallone) Supposedly the Descendant of a Incan Shark God, NANAWAE, a humanoid Sharkman is in Belle Reve's Custody, Since being a 6 foot, 400 pound Cannibal with not only the mind, but the self control of a child is a danger to Society.

RATCATCHER 2: An original character, the Daughter to Ratcatcher, a minor Batman Villain, a cross between Fagin and The Rat King. She Controls and Communicates with rats!

And Finally, Abner Krill, aka THE POLKADOT MAN, another Minor Batman Foe, Abner created a suit than turns simple polkadots into anything (So long as it's Circular, or Spherical in nature) saw blades, shurikens, bees, holes to escape, even blackholes if he wanted to. He's Depressed and seen as a Joke. Has Mammy Issues.

So Waller leads Squad 2 in a Briefing of the real mission. Corta Maltese government was overturned in a violent coup by 2 Generals, I've already forgotten the names of. But the mission is not an Assassination. On the Island there is a facility called Jotenheim, and contained within is "Operation Starfish" Waller has no idea what's inside, only that it's a weapon and Extra Terrestrial in nature.

To present day, as the only 2 Survivors, Harley finds Javelin on his last and so he Bequeaths his eponymous weapon to to her. The other squad camp out before tracking down the inside man the Original Flash's Archenemy, Gaius Greaves, aka the Thinker! Meanwhile Harley is captured by Soldiers and Flag is captured by who I assume are Freedom Fighters.

Abner's powers are now a debilitating illness that becomes Colourful, yet Transfiguring Boils, which he must expunge by vomiting or using his powers. In the colourful lights, Bloodsport sees King Shark trying to eat A sleeping Ratcatcher. Robert shoots warning shots at the Shark, who Huff's like a small child crying "HUNGRY!" Ratcatcher reveals the source of her power is a Bulb. And That Bloodsport is afraid of rats, much to Peacemaker's Amusement.

So the team are tasked on Rescuing Flag, with Waller giving the order to kill with Extreme Prejudice. Which turns into a game of Toppers between Bloodsport and Peacemaker. Only to find Flag alive and well chatting with the leader of the resistance, oblivious that they are now standing in a mass grave.

So as we stand it's a whole trained army between 4 trained Soldiers, a  teenager, a suicidal man, a sharkthing and thousands of rats!

Meanwhile in The Jotenheim Facility, we meet the Thinker (Peter Capaldi), a Villainous Genius who has Supplemented his Brainpower with a "Thinking Cap" Modules of Computer Ram injected into his skull, as his obsession to beat the flash  reached fever pitch. The younger forgettable general, who's name is repeated a lot, so he must be important for now, Mateo asks what The Thinker is working on via a old film projector he found. The Contents on which shows "project Starfish" aka Starro the Conqueror.

Starro is an alien Starfish who once nearly conquered Earth by using parasitic Spores to attack lifeforms and turn them into mindless slaves and extensions of his will. Somehow 30 years ago, Starro was kidnapped by American Astronauts to take photos with it, when it took the Men as it's slaves, somehow landing in the care of The Thinker.

Meanwhile, Harley is in a ditch, Bound by her Javelin, in her underwear, ( Because of Course! It is Harley Quinn's Ass featuring the Suicide Squad 3), until she Is Bathed and Brought To General Mateo. And Harley goes head over heels for him. After a single Montage and Costume Change, Harley is now General Mateo's Fiance.

He exposits that for years he heard rumours that the former regime used a mind controlling beast to quell Resistance to their rule. Now that he hasn't the same power noone will get in his wa....

BANG!

YEP!

Harley kills Mateo, because as of the events of Birds of Prey, She's kind of over Supervillain type.

Fare thee Well, General Mateo!

We Hardly Knew....To Give A Fuck!

# IN THE ARMS OF ANGELS/ FLY AWAAAAAAAYYYY!

NEXT WEEK, THE TRILOGY ENDS! WILL THE SQUAD RESCUE HARLEY? DOES SHE NEED RESCUING? AND WHAT WILL BLOWUP  JOHN CENA'S BRAIN FIRST? THE BOMB IN HIS BRAIN IN THIS MOVIE? OR THE REAL BOMB IN HIS BRAIN THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT PUT THEIR FOR SAYING TAIWAN IS A COUNTRY?

FIND OUT ONLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!