Wednesday, April 24, 2019

TICKET TO HELL-MILLENNIAL CREATION MYTHS: EAMONN REVIEWS POKEMON MOVIE THE RISE OF DARKRAI:

(EAMONN'S DIALOGUE AND REVIEW IN BLACK)
(GRINDSTONE'S DIALOGUE IN PURPLE)

PART 1: NIGHTMARES
(An Unconscious Eamonn slept as a flickering light Unsettled his Slumber-Only he didn't remember falling asleep....

He also Didn't remember coming to this place....where ever "This Place" was. It was a Dark Place, cold and flat, the ground beneath him was hard and just as black, The was the thing, The Space Between him and the unseen horizon was not a night sky black or a dark room black, But a complete Perfect black, devoid of any light...except of the light that flickered beyond!

Eamonn Wondered how far the floor was to the roof, if there was a roof to begin with
(ching...)
Eamonn thought he heard a chime, he was more sure of the white Pebble he just nearly tripped over!

He picked up the pebble and looked at it. It was an unassuming stone....if it had being anywhere else, But in the in void where the only other thing was a light in the distance. This sparked Eamonn's Curiosity. he hurled the stone upwards, as it whistled out of view, the Stunt confirmed this place had  a high roof, only confirmed as it landed in the vicinity of the glow, that he was not alone

"BONK!"
-OW! Ah fer fucksakes, oos throwin' stones?

Eamonn Ran towards the fire the air went from cold and silent to sweltering and cacophonous, the fire, several feet in height...was screaming in pain. 2 beings at it's side was pleading for the flames to spare them.

One was a 2 dimensional but humanoid creature, it looked like a shadow but in this void and the only light coming from the flame, Eamonn could make out it's outline made the creature look male, and though faceless, the sad looking orbs that were it's eyes made in look friendly.

The same couldn't be said to the second Being, One Eamonn knew in passing. A Rotund, Balding man who barely fit into the dusty Jump Suit he wore, on his greasy forehead, a conductor's hat that had the word Gaffer stitched to it. Over this shoulders a length of chain held what adorned his chest, A miler's Grindstone. His Conical Nose had cast a Shadow Pointing down to his enraged scowl)

YOU!
DIS IZ YER FAULT DAT WE ARE STUCK 'ERE!

HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?

The Flame expelled it's longest as it's Brightness reached a Crescendo, the darkness failed a revealed the place they stood in had a shape

THAT OF EAMONN'S OWN HEAD!

AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!

Last Month, Nintendo Announced That Pokemon's 8th Generation to it's worldwide Phenomenon, Will Launch this Christmas, In conjunction with The DVD  release of Detective Pikachu, Which has already set a new standard of film Animation. Which Brings me to this point. No Other Japanese Game I can think Of has Permeated Western Culture and Remain somewhat Unscathed By Western Influence (Jelly Donuts not withstanding!)

But with the love of the games comes the cynicism of the 20+ Movies. These Movies are solely made to advertise the Monsters, Hidden behind Code in Whatever game is on the market. and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT(!) Gamestop is holding an event to unlock these Legendaries (For money Of course!)

This Year's Ticket to Hell Features all 4 films of the Gen 4 Movies. Generation 4 consisting of Diamond, Pearl and Platinum and is my favourite gen.

And solely overlooked in the remake department!

It also Introduces the most Powerful Pokies to date!-As we review the Diamond/Pearl Special Edition Metal Case, so no Individual DVD covers to critique since i'm reading from a trade almost!

So A little of Lore for the Uninitiated

Ash Ketchum and his Pikachu travels the world on a quest to be A Pokemon Master, Consisting of doing what the Player does in the game: Capturing Monsters, training them to level up, teach them moves and win Badges from Gyms to prove himself worthy of challenging the Region's Champion.

...And fail every time!

While in XYZ his loss to Trevor was a close call, In every other Region some contrived Plot Point will always snatch Victory from Ash.

And if it wasn't for the events of this movie, what will cause Ash to lose the Sinnoh league would make fans extra Salty!

After a Narration Showing us the the Previous 3 generations of Legendary Pokemon (and 2 Pseudo-Legendaries in Unown and Lucario) We cut to Our Heroes Ash, Thirsty Singleton Brock and Dawn Still Journeying through Sinnoh, Oblivious That in the town they are going to, Literal Gods are GOING TO REKT THEIR SHIT!

We cut to a Young Researcher Reading an Old Diary of an Architect called Gordi, chronicling the last time Dialga and Palkia squared up! Only for his Equipment to go off and cause a tipped over hourglass to freeze in in free-fall!
SYMBOLISM!
In a Pocket Dimension Dialga, the Pokemon who is Time made Flesh, attacks Palkia, Basically Existential Godzilla, The Battle causes Rifts in Time and Space and when Palkia gets Damaged, The Hourglass continues to fall and Shatters!
SYMBOLISM!!!
So our heroes Head to the Site of Dawn's Next Contest

BACKSTORY!
Introduced in Generation 3, Contests were a side quest to collect Ribbons, Whilst Badges were Important to move the story along (ie: you HAD to compete for Badge, to unlock unassailable parts of the map!) Contests were added to scratch that 100% Completion Record! Dawn's whole arc is competing in Contests...Because her whole Personality Trait is The Smurfette Principle: she is the only girl so her only development is to do girly things! Contests are presented in Universe but not in game as Beauty Pageants/Dog Trick shows, it fits with her Personality. Or lack thereof!

They Run to their Next Destination, Alamos Town, Only for Brock, Their Guide to omit an Important Detail: Alamos Town is Built on a Massive Steep Island that can only be reached by Balloon

So Their pilot, Alice is not just a pilot but a Music Student

...This is going to be one of those Power of Friendship films to counteract how badass the villain is isn't We also have Team Rocket, the Bumbling Comedy Villains making their presence felt!

Alice's Balloon flies over the site of the Contest Festival, The Space-Time towers, when a gust of wind from said Building causes Turbulence, causing the researcher to Run to warn people.

During the Montage we have some world Building, Alamos Town has a Old World Charm to it, Marble Arches, Vineyards Terraces and Canals, Kinda like if Italy became the inspiration of a Region, Also compacted by the Italian Names of the characters and the Renaissance era buildings

So the Towers have a Garden, really an Excuse for the Animators to let loose with Slicker Animation to draw the antics of the creatures (Sadly i am only focusing on the pokemon that impact the film in anyway!) The Towers and Garden were Built by Gordi,  the author of the Diary the Researcher was Reading.

A fight over food is broken up by Alice who uses a Leaf to play a soothing song to calm everyone down. Alice's own Pokemon Gallade, A gladiator-gender blend (it starts female but you can CHANGE IT WITH STONES!) warns Alice something has destroyed part of the Garden, This Reveals The Baron of this land Alberto (who is CERTAINLY NOT! a villain!) He blames Darkai for this Damage, and Quickly uses his Lickilicki, A pink Hentai Monster to Attack the Researcher who is named Antonio.

As Leader of the Entire Island Antonio has come to Alberto for Help. He studies the Damaged Columns and upon Touching one, the Stone dissolves into sand, like it had aged over time!

Also Alberto and Antonio have being vying for Alice's Heart since pre-school, We also get a piece of a flashback of a young Antonio finding an Unconscious Alice!

Meanwhile Dialgia and Palkia Continue Their Scrap Causing more Tears in Reality, This time Dialgia gets hit meaning Space (Palkia) is altered as Time (Dialgia) Gets Weakened, Space caused a tombstone to be cut in half, Freeing The Nightmare Pokemon, Darkrai

For a Game for Children Making What's Essentially The Grim Reaper A character a ballsy move. Darkai looks the part, A head of wispy, white smoke on a black Muscular floating body, the white face ending in a hood over one eye, his arms ending with a black wisp on each side looking like Death's clocked robe. To add to the contrast of black and white, a Scythe shaped red Jaw covers the neck and shoulders in a nod to the source material.

Baron Alberto Attacks Darkrai who shoots a ball of Dark Void, a move that hits Ash and Puts him into a Nightmare he can feed on! In said Nightmare World, Darkrai shows Ash images of Palkia, before Pikachu shooks his owner back to life in Hospital, where he is told he has being having violent Nightmares the whole time. Antonio Leaves to research the Diary further!

That Night as the rest of Alamos host the Contest Festival, Antonio Reads more of Gordi's Diary, we learn Gordi was friends with Alicia's Grandmother, Alicia. He reads about the time Alicia saved Pokemon from Darkrai's Nightmare, however Darkai is hovering around like a staving animal. Gordi arrives to see Alicia Playing a leaf flute to calm sleeping Pokemon and Darkrai finding a home in the Garden. The Young Researcher Also finds a blueprint to the Space-time towers while on the back of the blueprints the audience sees Music notes on the back
FORESHADOWING!
The Blueprints also have a cryptic message: if two that were not to meet, fight again, Harrasion with rise once more!

Team Rocket Pose as Journalists after Baron Antonio publicly announces he Defeated Darkrai, but announces he will lead a posse to capture or kill  cause Darkrai to faint once and for all!

The next Morning, Alice takes The heroes on a tour of the Space time Towers, Alicia tells the others that Antonio is Gordi's grandson, They find the researcher on the floor asleep from an all-nighter!

Antics by the pokemon uncover music discs, The time and space Towers are in fact a Giant Mechanized Music Box
PLOT POINT!

As our heroes descend, Palkia Breaks through to our existence, Summoning Darkrai, Baron Alberto attacks the Nightmare Pokemon who starts hitting all Pokemon with Dark Void to build his power, Darkrai's Reality warping powers, along with the presence of the God of Space causes Ghosts of the victims to float over town, and turn Alberto into a LickiLicki, Antonio Surmises that the dream world is merging with our world. On top of that The entire island is stuck in a fog that Stops anyone from Leaving!

POKEMON: SILENT HILL VERSION!

Alberto, now looking like a cross between Mr Blobby and Gene Simmons, leads a posse to attack Darkrai, who quickly curb stomps everyone. Antonio's equipment picks up Palkia Floating above the towers, convincing everyone that Darkrai was saving everyone from Space Godzilla, and attacking those who got in his way! Darkai frees his victims and turning Albero back to his human form, but his celebrations on getting his looks back is short-lived as The sky turns into a galaxy as PokeCronus also breaches this world!

Palkia's presence alone dissolves matter and freeze time. Soon, the entire Island is Engulfed slowly in a Singularity!

Darkrai Protects Alice on the mistaken Identity of her Grandmother, Sparking the Flashback again with Young Alicia being Rescued from a fall by Darkrai before found unconsious by a young Antonio.  Antonio Tells Alice about "Harrasion", turns out it's the name song that sooth pokemon that Alicia thought her. So that is why the Towers are a Music Box: to stop This from Happening again! Inside and working out cryptic clues in a monument to Alicia, they find the Music Disc to play in the tower

So let's finish this!
Despite the escalating Battle, Dawn and Ash Pit the Disc into the Control Bay. Darkai Takes Dialgia Roar Of Time, Basically a Death Ray of concentrated time, at point blank, Harrassion is stuck and doesn't play, Darkrai is found, Dying, Until Darkrai makes a Heroic Sacrifice by binding himself, Dialgia and Palkia in a Dark Void. With Pikachu's Thunderbolt, the tower Plays Harrasion calming the two Gods down, The Space Time Tower Transforms into a Mechanical Bird Made of Duex EX Machina, and Alamos is Restored, Palkia's Wound is healed and Ash pleads with Palkia to Reality Stone this BITCH! and return Alamos from the Dream World. But At a cost, Darkai is Dead...OR IS HE?

Yep, Darkrai is still alive thanks to Ash...Only For A Cheap Bitch called Tobias later Catch Darkrai and screw Ash from Winning The Sinnoh League later on!

You save a guys life and that's the thanks you get?

THIS FILM IS SURPRISINGLY GOOD!
The plot has a Beauty and the Best story filled with Kindness, Prejudice, Social Justice, Forgiveness and Redemption. 3D renders of the Space Time Towers, and Reality being warped meld seamlessly into hand-drawn 2d art, which is slicker than the tv show, The Story was written with clever plot points (Like Antonio looking a a warped wooden floorboard to figure out what what was happening! and the Fight scenes)

One Bugbear that needs to be addressed now before the rest of the Series! And that is The Chosen One Immunity of Our Heroes, it's bad enough that Ash and his varying friends has stumbled into encounters world altering implications 20 times, but one instance the staircase made of Stone dissolves from Palkia's presence, so Dawn and Ash use Water Gun and Ice Beam to build an ice staircase, that doesn't even start being dissolved by Palkia's matter dissolving presence, Despite Ice being made of matter too!

Next Month Whiny Hedgehog Vs Poke-SATAN!

CREDITS
Pokemon: The movie: the Rise Of Darkrai was Reviewed and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
Pokemon: The Movie: The Rise Of Darkrai was Produced By OLM AND Distributed By Toho.
Pokemon is a trademark of Nintendo, The Pokemon Company, And GAME FREAK. All rights Reserved!

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