(previously on bogger box office!...
Eamonn reviewed Grown ups and deemed the film to be filled with evil powers like the Other films That's caused world ending misery. However Joe-Jack threw the dvd into a exhumed smoking grave and released a fiery spirit! Siting revenge on Joe-Jack's family.
Mammie was cleaning the house when she heard the explosion. The Blast unsettled a hung portrait of Joe-Jack's Father which shattered the glass!
...Padraig...this has sumpthing to do with you...oh God...she said before fainting)
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
WE have Pound-Shop Ripoff film once again with the review of a Rip off so conniving, You would at first glance think this was the Dreamworks' picture....until you really look at the artwork
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUwYZUFzs7g
Those are some of the ugliest human models I have ever seen! You'll think it our old friends back in Brinquedo, but no.
This Was made by CANAL+!
I KNOW, RIGHT?
FRENCH CARTOONS ARE HIT
OR MISS,
BUT LEAST MOST OF THEM LOOK WELL MADE, NOT THIS THOUGH!
So lets dig into Puss N Boots (despite not being about 2 characters called puss and boots!)
Do you know what i like about the Shrek films? it's soundtrack. It's fanfare and whimsical theme song mixed with classic rock makes it contemporary. NOT THIS! WHAT DO WE GET? PUBLIC DOMAIN SONGS PLAYED WHAT SOUNDS LIKE A CIRCUS BAND! (and i can't find this film or any stills but Phelous did a review of this exact film if you want to hear how bad the music is!)
So the film starts with Charles Perot, the author of this fairy tale, and without any wipe or transition we are plunged head first into the story. In a castle a chamberlain who looks like a midget Shakespeare with Heihachi Mishima Hair, complains about the princess not yet married to her mother, Queen Rosie O'Donnel Look-A- Like! The Princess will only marry a young man who can sing and Dance! The Chamberlain thinks that she is too picky and should marry someone on the castle staff...like maybe...a chamberlain!
We Cut to said Princess and the animation has improved somewhat, though it is a musical scene and I am expecting to see a Caption reading "Press X To Skip Event!"
Under the Princess' Chamber, Little Pete, a Miller's Son has moored his boat to listen the music, that night at the Windmill, Monsieur Perot has arrived as the Miller's Executor. The Miller gives Pete's Brothers the Mill and Pete gets the cat and a skin of Magic Leather! He Then slumps in a mortifying way and breathes his last as his face fades of life!
LOOK AT THAT COVER! IT SAYS ALL AGES!
So Pete makes a Pair of Boots for Puss, who just so happens to be clothed and talking already.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
You must establish 1st that animals living with humans have sapience or not, before doing this! otherwise it's going to be all Pluto and Goofy with your world building! Anyway the Boots Give Puss the Power of super speed and Teleportation, At the castle one of the Princess' Shoes has being stolen, By puss in a plan to help his master. At a Dive bar RIPPED OUT OFF SHREK, the landlady is a copy of Doris, even! The Entertainment is a young Dancer whistling Carmen, Yep Like I had to tell you, that it's the Princess in Disguise! Pete Gets Carried Away and dances. Afterwards Puss embarrasses Pete in front of the Princess about his crush, though you could argue rowing a boat under the tower meant he doesn't know what she looks like. Puss Promises that Pete's life will change forever, But as for tonight, Puss wanted to get Rat-Arsed!
ALL AGES!
In the Castle Dungeon, The chamberlain makes magic sweeties turns anyone who has eyes for the princess into Toads. On the road to the ogre's castle Puss, Pete and A RASTAFARIAN CHIMP CALLED DARK MARCEL ( I MUST HAVE MISSED THAT PART OF THE "TRADITIONAL STORY!") To which Marcel is a servant to the Ogre, who uses his music to calm the shapeshifting beast! As the Princess Manon returns to the castle incognito, Puss Kills 2 Royal Pheasants (For those too old to remember the fairytale this is a PLOT POINT!) So puss uses his superspeed to deliver the birds as a gift from his master the "Marquis Of Carabas"
that was fast! look like this Pussy Doesn't have...LOW MILES!
(CONTENT WARNING!-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ovgq0bDLGZc )
With her interest Piqued, The Queen Invited the Marquis to Princess Manon's Ball But will send an invite to his castle...killing the Ogre has become imperative, so the cat goes and steals some of the chamberlain's magic sweets!
Sneaking into the castle belonging to the the Ogre, His chef is fattening a toad (a former suitor), The Chamberlain is making his creature upset causing his powers to turn him into a squid, Dark Marcel calms the beast by playing Blue Danube on a Cat Piano(?) The Orge can only turn into ugly animals, But the Chamberlain tells the Orge he is working on making a candy that will turn him into a swan thus keeping it in his pocket!
So the Puss' plan goes the way of the story from the books-Puss tells his master to swim in the river and hides his clothes to make him look like the victim of a robbery before the royal family. As Pete gets done up to the nines, Puss Tries, and fails to kill the ogre! At the Ball, Puss returns the stolen shoe he took from Manon and after a song that sounds like it was written by a 6 year old ("More than turkeys go...gobble gobble/ More than Sheep go...BAAAAA!") Manon doesn't trust Puss so she fetches her magic glasses to see Pete as he is...a poor miller but doesn't seem to mind!
Put Pete's Brothers were also at the party and tell the Chamberlain everything! It's here that the chamberlain gives the queen the idea to come to "Carabas"! Puss needs to think of a way to do in the Orge...But for tonight LET'S GET WASTED! AGAIN!
So lets finish this!
Puss challenges the Ogre to a game of wits! however unlike the original story were the ogre is tricked into turning into a rat and eaten, the ogre sees through this sham and goes nuts turning into a squid! Despite having many chances to tell the truth that the castle doesn't belong to him, Pete learns the Royal family is a title and is no more richer than Pete is! Manon's singing calms the Ogre after Dark Marcel's music fails, long enough for Puss to feed the Ogre with a magic Sweety that turns him into a duck, with his heavy hitter done in, the chamberlain goes crazy and confesses, and so the film ends with Pete and Manon Married and the Chamberlain turned into a toad being chased by the duck!
THIS FILM IS A DISTRACTION FOR HYPER KIDS AND NO MORE!
While this animation's quality is better than anything Brinquedo will ever produce, the fact still remains this wouldn't have existed if they wasn't a big budget puss in boots film doing the rounds. The Music is terrible, the 3D Models look and move Hideous, Despite hiding behind the "traditional Story" gimmick, this film has all the Cutesy and Saccharine of Disney. From a country that has become a Powerhouse of Comic and Cartoon Art, this film is an embarrassment!
CREDITS
Puss N Boots: The True Story! was reviewed, compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham
With media from:
Puss N Boots
Spongebob Squarepants
WWE RAW
Code Lyoko
Miraculous
Titeuf
Supa Strikas
Boyster
Father Ted
and Music
"Low Miles" by Plies
Puss N Boots: the True Story! is Distributed by Optimum Releases. All Rights Reserved.
All Media uses belong to their Respective Owners!
NEXT MONTH:
A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL WITH SHARKS!
STOCK EFFECTS!
20 SOMETHINGS IN BIKINIS!
THE FULL BAD HORROR FILM PACKAGE!
RAIDERS OF THE LOST SHARK!
Eamonn reviewed Grown ups and deemed the film to be filled with evil powers like the Other films That's caused world ending misery. However Joe-Jack threw the dvd into a exhumed smoking grave and released a fiery spirit! Siting revenge on Joe-Jack's family.
Mammie was cleaning the house when she heard the explosion. The Blast unsettled a hung portrait of Joe-Jack's Father which shattered the glass!
...Padraig...this has sumpthing to do with you...oh God...she said before fainting)
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
WE have Pound-Shop Ripoff film once again with the review of a Rip off so conniving, You would at first glance think this was the Dreamworks' picture....until you really look at the artwork
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUwYZUFzs7g
Those are some of the ugliest human models I have ever seen! You'll think it our old friends back in Brinquedo, but no.
This Was made by CANAL+!
I KNOW, RIGHT?
FRENCH CARTOONS ARE HIT
OR MISS,
BUT LEAST MOST OF THEM LOOK WELL MADE, NOT THIS THOUGH!
 |
| Well, most of the time anyway! |
Do you know what i like about the Shrek films? it's soundtrack. It's fanfare and whimsical theme song mixed with classic rock makes it contemporary. NOT THIS! WHAT DO WE GET? PUBLIC DOMAIN SONGS PLAYED WHAT SOUNDS LIKE A CIRCUS BAND! (and i can't find this film or any stills but Phelous did a review of this exact film if you want to hear how bad the music is!)
So the film starts with Charles Perot, the author of this fairy tale, and without any wipe or transition we are plunged head first into the story. In a castle a chamberlain who looks like a midget Shakespeare with Heihachi Mishima Hair, complains about the princess not yet married to her mother, Queen Rosie O'Donnel Look-A- Like! The Princess will only marry a young man who can sing and Dance! The Chamberlain thinks that she is too picky and should marry someone on the castle staff...like maybe...a chamberlain!
We Cut to said Princess and the animation has improved somewhat, though it is a musical scene and I am expecting to see a Caption reading "Press X To Skip Event!"
Under the Princess' Chamber, Little Pete, a Miller's Son has moored his boat to listen the music, that night at the Windmill, Monsieur Perot has arrived as the Miller's Executor. The Miller gives Pete's Brothers the Mill and Pete gets the cat and a skin of Magic Leather! He Then slumps in a mortifying way and breathes his last as his face fades of life!
LOOK AT THAT COVER! IT SAYS ALL AGES!
So Pete makes a Pair of Boots for Puss, who just so happens to be clothed and talking already.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
You must establish 1st that animals living with humans have sapience or not, before doing this! otherwise it's going to be all Pluto and Goofy with your world building! Anyway the Boots Give Puss the Power of super speed and Teleportation, At the castle one of the Princess' Shoes has being stolen, By puss in a plan to help his master. At a Dive bar RIPPED OUT OFF SHREK, the landlady is a copy of Doris, even! The Entertainment is a young Dancer whistling Carmen, Yep Like I had to tell you, that it's the Princess in Disguise! Pete Gets Carried Away and dances. Afterwards Puss embarrasses Pete in front of the Princess about his crush, though you could argue rowing a boat under the tower meant he doesn't know what she looks like. Puss Promises that Pete's life will change forever, But as for tonight, Puss wanted to get Rat-Arsed!
ALL AGES!
In the Castle Dungeon, The chamberlain makes magic sweeties turns anyone who has eyes for the princess into Toads. On the road to the ogre's castle Puss, Pete and A RASTAFARIAN CHIMP CALLED DARK MARCEL ( I MUST HAVE MISSED THAT PART OF THE "TRADITIONAL STORY!") To which Marcel is a servant to the Ogre, who uses his music to calm the shapeshifting beast! As the Princess Manon returns to the castle incognito, Puss Kills 2 Royal Pheasants (For those too old to remember the fairytale this is a PLOT POINT!) So puss uses his superspeed to deliver the birds as a gift from his master the "Marquis Of Carabas"
that was fast! look like this Pussy Doesn't have...LOW MILES!
(CONTENT WARNING!-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ovgq0bDLGZc )
With her interest Piqued, The Queen Invited the Marquis to Princess Manon's Ball But will send an invite to his castle...killing the Ogre has become imperative, so the cat goes and steals some of the chamberlain's magic sweets!
Sneaking into the castle belonging to the the Ogre, His chef is fattening a toad (a former suitor), The Chamberlain is making his creature upset causing his powers to turn him into a squid, Dark Marcel calms the beast by playing Blue Danube on a Cat Piano(?) The Orge can only turn into ugly animals, But the Chamberlain tells the Orge he is working on making a candy that will turn him into a swan thus keeping it in his pocket!
So the Puss' plan goes the way of the story from the books-Puss tells his master to swim in the river and hides his clothes to make him look like the victim of a robbery before the royal family. As Pete gets done up to the nines, Puss Tries, and fails to kill the ogre! At the Ball, Puss returns the stolen shoe he took from Manon and after a song that sounds like it was written by a 6 year old ("More than turkeys go...gobble gobble/ More than Sheep go...BAAAAA!") Manon doesn't trust Puss so she fetches her magic glasses to see Pete as he is...a poor miller but doesn't seem to mind!
Put Pete's Brothers were also at the party and tell the Chamberlain everything! It's here that the chamberlain gives the queen the idea to come to "Carabas"! Puss needs to think of a way to do in the Orge...But for tonight LET'S GET WASTED! AGAIN!
So lets finish this!
Puss challenges the Ogre to a game of wits! however unlike the original story were the ogre is tricked into turning into a rat and eaten, the ogre sees through this sham and goes nuts turning into a squid! Despite having many chances to tell the truth that the castle doesn't belong to him, Pete learns the Royal family is a title and is no more richer than Pete is! Manon's singing calms the Ogre after Dark Marcel's music fails, long enough for Puss to feed the Ogre with a magic Sweety that turns him into a duck, with his heavy hitter done in, the chamberlain goes crazy and confesses, and so the film ends with Pete and Manon Married and the Chamberlain turned into a toad being chased by the duck!
THIS FILM IS A DISTRACTION FOR HYPER KIDS AND NO MORE!
While this animation's quality is better than anything Brinquedo will ever produce, the fact still remains this wouldn't have existed if they wasn't a big budget puss in boots film doing the rounds. The Music is terrible, the 3D Models look and move Hideous, Despite hiding behind the "traditional Story" gimmick, this film has all the Cutesy and Saccharine of Disney. From a country that has become a Powerhouse of Comic and Cartoon Art, this film is an embarrassment!
CREDITS
Puss N Boots: The True Story! was reviewed, compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham
With media from:
Puss N Boots
Spongebob Squarepants
WWE RAW
Code Lyoko
Miraculous
Titeuf
Supa Strikas
Boyster
Father Ted
and Music
"Low Miles" by Plies
Puss N Boots: the True Story! is Distributed by Optimum Releases. All Rights Reserved.
All Media uses belong to their Respective Owners!
NEXT MONTH:
A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL WITH SHARKS!
STOCK EFFECTS!
20 SOMETHINGS IN BIKINIS!
THE FULL BAD HORROR FILM PACKAGE!
RAIDERS OF THE LOST SHARK!
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