Ths months theme -keeping in the month and the theme of sentient cameras!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvAYIJSSZY
Mentioned in a trailer during my review of Hobo with A Shotgun, This years choice of the worst that Horror channel and syfy has to offer is this piece of CGI VOMIT! A film where the robots have more personality than any of the humans!
So America was attacked by Zimbabwe ...i mean Pakistan...no wait, ZIMBAKISTAN! (and you thought Qurac was a bit too on the nose!) So a new law is called in, The Freedom Of Surveillance Act, a law to unify all Surveillance and Communications, under the Watch of the Optical Defence Intelligence Network or O.D.I.N. Their weapon against crime, Camera Droids of Various Sizes called Eyeborgs
2 O.D.I.N.Agents, Jack Thompson and Gunner Reynolds, are tracking down Gunrunners until their droid gets struck by lightning, which is kind of stupid since a malfunction does not turn the eponymous machines against man kind. ElseWhere Something just killed a car of Stupid Sexy Teens,the gunrunner has being tracked to a gig where band belonging to the now dead Stupid Sexy Teens are playing. The Droids attack and the O.D.I.N Tells the building full of Teen Idiots to stay calm!
IT WORKS AS WELL AS YOU EXPECT! With one Idiot with a guitar casually walking into the gunrunner's line of fire, until one of the Spider Eyeborgs saves him with a BodyGuard Dive!
The Gunrunner gets arrested, turns out the Idiot who got shot, turns out to be the President's Nephew.
At Odin Barracks, Gunner is Interogating the Gunrunner, who taunts the agent about his family killed in the terrorist attacks, Let on his own with the Cute Little Eyeborgs, they attack the Terrorist with tasers and gardening equipment. It seems that some agents have turned a blind eye to what's happening, and with a little screen tampering, and a lot of human misdirection, the Eyeborgs have organised a Public Execution
Back at With the Presidents Nephew, Gerald, he learns from his girlfriend that the last wedding gig he did for a man who turned out to be a Zimbakistani Terrorist, So the Eyeborgs are making him as he goes to a Guitar Repair shop!
Meanwhile back at O.D.I.N., BLAH BLAH BLAH, REYNOLDS IS A GOOD COP! BLAH BLAH BLAH THE COMMISH IS ON MY ASS ABOUT THIS BLAH BLAH BLAH MAYBE THE GUY WAS RIGHT BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!
Worse for Gunner, an Ambitious Reporter called Barbara Hawkins is on his case, their is no love lost between Gunner and her, as Hawkins Went all Nancy Disgrace and blamed An O.D.I.N. Agent's family's presence for the death of 100s, LATER WE LEARN THAT BIT HER IN THE ASS BECAUSE HER FAMILY DIED TOO! We also learn that it was Gunner and the Now Vice-President who invented the eyeborgs, But it was Vice-president who controls O.D.I.N
PLOT POINT!
Back with Gerald he meets with G-MAN (Danny Trejo) a former soldier who lost a leg to Military Eyeborgs, Gerald tells his friend how an Eyeborg saved him, Danny tells Gerald that's proof they are more than just cameras. Turns out G has done his research, and read the Freedom Of Surveillance Act and learned an Eyeborg can act as a police officer if one isn't available, they could even use Deadly Force if they want to!
Hawkin's cameraman, a recovering alcoholic, has studied the footage of the Terrorists death and discovered something is doctoring the Footage, So the Eyeborgs kill him by staging his death to look like a drink driving accident, even Force Ingesting Booze into the man. Surveilance footage of what looks like Frank stumbling to his car has the same doctoring he pointed up,Gunner, Jack and Barbara are now convinced that something sinister is happening at O.D.I.N.
The President has Deployed Military Eyeborgs in the Middle East. G-man gets Killed by a Spider Eyeborg,It attacks Gerald but gets orders not to kill!
Meeting Gerald in the only place safe from cameras, a sexy carwash/icecream parlour (YES REALLY!) Gunner tells Gerald that the president is in danger. The Eyeborgs kill Gerald's Girlfriend to implicate that the gig he did for a terrorist was actually a kickback for the President and to make her screams for Gerald a plea for mercy, despite Gerald being with Gunner the whole time!
Ronnie Gerald and Hawkins get into contact, Gerald plays the Funraiser but they still need proof, So they find the secret room AT G-Man's, corroborating the fact that the Robots are weaponised, looking at G's files, Thompson asks how the terrorists even got into O.D.I.N.
LEADING TO THIS
"Terrorists? there was never any terrorists! or Election! Or President! The Man on that screen has being dead for months! This goes Straight to the top!...With the VICE PRESIDENT!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVGNJvWnG5E
So lets finish this!
Gerald's guitar is fitted with a bomb, Jack gets killed by a robot punching out his heart, the funraiser was fake to stage this explosion and "Death" of the president, Barbara's new Camera turns into a tank eyeborg, all the Swat team are picked off on by one, Gerald is found being scanned and cavity searched by the eyeborgs, Gunner is shocked by his creations' power to combine, Barbara is mortally wounded, but gives Gunner the Proof of what happened today,before she sacrifices herself by shooting the c4 in the guitar, The Vice President is signed in and war on the oil rich country of Zimbakistan is declared, with Gunner and Gerald in hiding, Barbara's video has gone viral on the net, People are uneasy of the new war, and so the film ends with Sequel Bait, as Gunner Smashes an Eyeborg!
THIS FILM DOESN'T SUCK! BUT THE ACTING IS SO HOKEY TO TAKE SERIOUSLY!
This Premise is lost on the nobody cast-and if Humanity were as stupid as these clowns we deserve to be feed lies like sheep-in a world where every house as a camera, they sure like to exposist their plans very loudly and hold up Macguffins with vital information! But the Real stars are the robots! they have more personality than many of the actors here!
I Don't remember...much...
i don't remember...what happened...before that day....
my name....where i come from....my mother....what if my mother is still alive...and waiting for me to come back to where i came from....
Relax, Oracle...
Sorry, But as you said i was a drone for Master Control, the orb drones attacked the Wedding party i was attending, which explains the red dress i'm wearing and bonded to! anyone who fought back was atomized with lasers!
THEY WERE THE LUCKY ONES!
Me and all my friends were shot with microchips from our Tantanet Phones. I was always suspicious of a network that seemingly came from nowhere with advanced technology from free! But now i knew why! To cover the whole of humanity into compliant cyborg slaves!
i was put in a status pod for god knows how long..eventually the voice of a thousand voices shouted and whispered into my earpiece!
ATTEND FOR NEW COMMANDS! ...YOU ARE NOW DESIGNATED... INFANTRY! OBEY! You and i and joejack and 80's Lad! we had met before! though i was a faceless drone! then came the final days and Master Control was desperate
She Gathered the last few soldiers she had. And opened a portal to another world
ATTEND FOR NEW COMMANDS...ALL AVAILABLE UNITS....YOU ARE DESIGNATED...INVASION FORCE...ALL UNITS WILL DIVIDE INTO TEAMS OF 6...EACH UNIT WILL SUBJUGATE A CONTINENT EACH WE WILL FIND A NEW EARTH WITH ENOUGH MATERIAL TO REBOOT THE INVASION PROGRAM!
And that's when i Met Oracle...
TO BE CONTINUED!
CREDITS
Eyeborgs was reviewed, compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Music and Clips from
Rockwell "I always feel like Somebody's Watching Me"
Eyeborgs
The Daily Show
Eyeborgs is distributed by Momentum Pictures. All Rights Reserved.
All Media used belongs to their Respective Owners!
NEXT MONTH-A FILM WITH SANDLER, WALKEN AND HASSLEHOFF!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDj-cLnHrRQ
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK-IT'S CLICK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvAYIJSSZY
Mentioned in a trailer during my review of Hobo with A Shotgun, This years choice of the worst that Horror channel and syfy has to offer is this piece of CGI VOMIT! A film where the robots have more personality than any of the humans!
So America was attacked by Zimbabwe ...i mean Pakistan...no wait, ZIMBAKISTAN! (and you thought Qurac was a bit too on the nose!) So a new law is called in, The Freedom Of Surveillance Act, a law to unify all Surveillance and Communications, under the Watch of the Optical Defence Intelligence Network or O.D.I.N. Their weapon against crime, Camera Droids of Various Sizes called Eyeborgs
| D'awww! what a cute wittle PSYCHOPATH! |
| THE SPIDER..NOT SO MUCH! |
| SPOILER-THIS IS THEIR COMBINER FORM- INCLUDING A TANK EYEBORG I COULDN'T FIND THE IMAGE FOR |
IT WORKS AS WELL AS YOU EXPECT! With one Idiot with a guitar casually walking into the gunrunner's line of fire, until one of the Spider Eyeborgs saves him with a BodyGuard Dive!
The Gunrunner gets arrested, turns out the Idiot who got shot, turns out to be the President's Nephew.
At Odin Barracks, Gunner is Interogating the Gunrunner, who taunts the agent about his family killed in the terrorist attacks, Let on his own with the Cute Little Eyeborgs, they attack the Terrorist with tasers and gardening equipment. It seems that some agents have turned a blind eye to what's happening, and with a little screen tampering, and a lot of human misdirection, the Eyeborgs have organised a Public Execution
Back at With the Presidents Nephew, Gerald, he learns from his girlfriend that the last wedding gig he did for a man who turned out to be a Zimbakistani Terrorist, So the Eyeborgs are making him as he goes to a Guitar Repair shop!
Meanwhile back at O.D.I.N., BLAH BLAH BLAH, REYNOLDS IS A GOOD COP! BLAH BLAH BLAH THE COMMISH IS ON MY ASS ABOUT THIS BLAH BLAH BLAH MAYBE THE GUY WAS RIGHT BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!
Worse for Gunner, an Ambitious Reporter called Barbara Hawkins is on his case, their is no love lost between Gunner and her, as Hawkins Went all Nancy Disgrace and blamed An O.D.I.N. Agent's family's presence for the death of 100s, LATER WE LEARN THAT BIT HER IN THE ASS BECAUSE HER FAMILY DIED TOO! We also learn that it was Gunner and the Now Vice-President who invented the eyeborgs, But it was Vice-president who controls O.D.I.N
PLOT POINT!
Back with Gerald he meets with G-MAN (Danny Trejo) a former soldier who lost a leg to Military Eyeborgs, Gerald tells his friend how an Eyeborg saved him, Danny tells Gerald that's proof they are more than just cameras. Turns out G has done his research, and read the Freedom Of Surveillance Act and learned an Eyeborg can act as a police officer if one isn't available, they could even use Deadly Force if they want to!
Hawkin's cameraman, a recovering alcoholic, has studied the footage of the Terrorists death and discovered something is doctoring the Footage, So the Eyeborgs kill him by staging his death to look like a drink driving accident, even Force Ingesting Booze into the man. Surveilance footage of what looks like Frank stumbling to his car has the same doctoring he pointed up,Gunner, Jack and Barbara are now convinced that something sinister is happening at O.D.I.N.
The President has Deployed Military Eyeborgs in the Middle East. G-man gets Killed by a Spider Eyeborg,It attacks Gerald but gets orders not to kill!
Meeting Gerald in the only place safe from cameras, a sexy carwash/icecream parlour (YES REALLY!) Gunner tells Gerald that the president is in danger. The Eyeborgs kill Gerald's Girlfriend to implicate that the gig he did for a terrorist was actually a kickback for the President and to make her screams for Gerald a plea for mercy, despite Gerald being with Gunner the whole time!
Ronnie Gerald and Hawkins get into contact, Gerald plays the Funraiser but they still need proof, So they find the secret room AT G-Man's, corroborating the fact that the Robots are weaponised, looking at G's files, Thompson asks how the terrorists even got into O.D.I.N.
LEADING TO THIS
"Terrorists? there was never any terrorists! or Election! Or President! The Man on that screen has being dead for months! This goes Straight to the top!...With the VICE PRESIDENT!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVGNJvWnG5E
So lets finish this!
Gerald's guitar is fitted with a bomb, Jack gets killed by a robot punching out his heart, the funraiser was fake to stage this explosion and "Death" of the president, Barbara's new Camera turns into a tank eyeborg, all the Swat team are picked off on by one, Gerald is found being scanned and cavity searched by the eyeborgs, Gunner is shocked by his creations' power to combine, Barbara is mortally wounded, but gives Gunner the Proof of what happened today,before she sacrifices herself by shooting the c4 in the guitar, The Vice President is signed in and war on the oil rich country of Zimbakistan is declared, with Gunner and Gerald in hiding, Barbara's video has gone viral on the net, People are uneasy of the new war, and so the film ends with Sequel Bait, as Gunner Smashes an Eyeborg!
THIS FILM DOESN'T SUCK! BUT THE ACTING IS SO HOKEY TO TAKE SERIOUSLY!
This Premise is lost on the nobody cast-and if Humanity were as stupid as these clowns we deserve to be feed lies like sheep-in a world where every house as a camera, they sure like to exposist their plans very loudly and hold up Macguffins with vital information! But the Real stars are the robots! they have more personality than many of the actors here!
I Don't remember...much...
i don't remember...what happened...before that day....
my name....where i come from....my mother....what if my mother is still alive...and waiting for me to come back to where i came from....
Relax, Oracle...
Sorry, But as you said i was a drone for Master Control, the orb drones attacked the Wedding party i was attending, which explains the red dress i'm wearing and bonded to! anyone who fought back was atomized with lasers!
THEY WERE THE LUCKY ONES!
Me and all my friends were shot with microchips from our Tantanet Phones. I was always suspicious of a network that seemingly came from nowhere with advanced technology from free! But now i knew why! To cover the whole of humanity into compliant cyborg slaves!
i was put in a status pod for god knows how long..eventually the voice of a thousand voices shouted and whispered into my earpiece!
ATTEND FOR NEW COMMANDS! ...YOU ARE NOW DESIGNATED... INFANTRY! OBEY! You and i and joejack and 80's Lad! we had met before! though i was a faceless drone! then came the final days and Master Control was desperate
She Gathered the last few soldiers she had. And opened a portal to another world
ATTEND FOR NEW COMMANDS...ALL AVAILABLE UNITS....YOU ARE DESIGNATED...INVASION FORCE...ALL UNITS WILL DIVIDE INTO TEAMS OF 6...EACH UNIT WILL SUBJUGATE A CONTINENT EACH WE WILL FIND A NEW EARTH WITH ENOUGH MATERIAL TO REBOOT THE INVASION PROGRAM!
And that's when i Met Oracle...
TO BE CONTINUED!
CREDITS
Eyeborgs was reviewed, compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Music and Clips from
Rockwell "I always feel like Somebody's Watching Me"
Eyeborgs
The Daily Show
Eyeborgs is distributed by Momentum Pictures. All Rights Reserved.
All Media used belongs to their Respective Owners!
NEXT MONTH-A FILM WITH SANDLER, WALKEN AND HASSLEHOFF!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDj-cLnHrRQ
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK-IT'S CLICK!
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