Friday, July 1, 2016

EPISODE 109-The League of Gentlemen: Apocalypse

(EAMONN'S LINES AND REVIEW IN BLACK
ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM'S LINE IN GREEN
????? LINES IN SKY BLUE

PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...
(FOR MONTHS, WE HAVE SEEN GLIMPSES INTO THE HEROICS OF THE THIEF OF BOREDOM, A MAN CALLED THE PIMPERNEL FROM A WORLD STUCK IN VICTORIAN TIMES! RECENTLY, HE AND A LIVING COMPUTER CALLED ORACLE ENTERED OUR WORLD WITH A SHOCKING TWIST, EAMONN IN HIS WORLD IS A CRUEL DICTATOR WHO USES THE RECENTLY INVENTED POWER GLOVE, GAEDEARG TO RULE! NOW IN HIDING EAMONN CONTINUES TO WRITE REVIEWS, NOT KNOWING HE MUST FACE THE MASKED HERO SOON.... )

The League of Gentlemen
Image result for obi wan
"THAT IS A NAME I HAVEN'T HEARD IN A LONG, LONG TIME!



Not to confused with the film, The League of EXTRAORDINARY Gentlemen, Alan Moore's film equivalent of tearing up the Literary classics to line the bottom of birdcages, This is a film outing of A British Sitcom.
BACKSTORY!
The League of Gentlemen are the trio of British Comedians, Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith and Doctor Who Staffer Mark Gattiss, the series follows the misadventures of village of Royston Vasey, a misanthropic hellhole twinned with Silent Hill, from it's Strange customs to it's xenophobic shopkeepers, from a cannibal butcher who's unshamelessly called "Mr Briss," to Papa Lazaru, a voodoo shaman who is as obsessed with polygamy as he is with calling everyone "Dave!"

Following killing off the central Denton Family at the end of series 2, the 3rd and final series had no plot and was just a sketch show before being cancelled, And that's where we take off from!

The Cover is actually one of the better ones I've dealt with.
Image result for the league of gentlemen's apocalypse

As the boys New Project about Devil worshipers usurping London sets it on fire, and it spreads to Royson Vasey, Edward (Shearsmith) and Tubbs (Pembleton) hold each other as their precious shop burns in the background as they look out into our world and the unknown.  the "heroes" Geoff (also Shearsmith) and Briss (Gatiss) look serious as it up to them to save their World. the caption of the film is matter-of fact and to the point!

The film begins With Michael Sheen, playing a fictionalized version of The League's screenwriter, Jeremy Dyson, in a lighthouse in Land's End as he searches for something frantically as dramatic music plays, turns out he's just searching for his phone and the music was just a ringtone! he has a new idea for Steve as he called Jeremy Back! Jeremy's idea is to put tails onto the characters, because he doesn't want the characters to die yet, he turns to see Tubbs on the toilet and Edward at the door. Chasing Jeremy to a cliff, he intones that they are not real, only for for Papa Lazaru (Shearsmith) to sneak behind "Dave" and push him off a cliff! but into a Hellmouth and the title sequence!

We Cut to Roysten Vasey as an unnatural storm hits the village, at the same time Cannibal Butcher Hillary Bris (Gatiss) kidnaps Gay German Bit Character Herr Lipp (Pembleton) and Geoff (Shearsmith). The Reverend (Shearsmith) shows Pauline (pembleton) and Michael that the events of the storm are part of a prophecy of the end of the world. In the Vestry is a secret room that connects their world with ours and the 3 Dregs have just entered our world, the Reverend says that team one of Edward, Tubbs and Papa has failed, and now a killer and 2 idiots have entered our world, or rather the village of Hatfield, where the show is filmed on location, Geoff is confused why "his" flat is filled with it's real residents, and many people wanting photos and autographs, until Papa Finds them and explains that they need to find the League Of Gentlemen and convince them to make more episodes before Royston Vasey is forgotten about and therefore ceases to exist, However the dregs being sent here may be a blessing in disguise as they can fit in better than the eccentric team one!

We cut to London where Geoff, Bris and Lipp are Staking out Channel 4 headquarters to kidnap the League. the plan is for Lipp and Geoff to start a fire alarm, But in the midst of finding a hammer, some executives (somehow!) mistake their colleagues character of an applicant

Proving that Executives don't watch their own shows!

They cause a commotion so well, they didn't factor that in the real world people have contingency plans and don't run into each other like the sitcom world they come from! so they make do with steal their computer. however Steve returns and comes face to face with his Herr Lipp character stunning him enough for Hillary to smash his head with a poster of Mr Bean the movie!

Disguising himself as his Creator, Herr Lipp has taken his place as Geoff and Bris Kidnap the Comedian, who is not convinced until Jeff shows his actual Gut!, Back with the German, Reece convince he is with Steve bring him back to "his" house where the children run ragged on him! At the Hotel, the stolen computer is rebooted and the characters learn that their existence is threatened by a period Drama called "The King's Evil" Hilary orders Geoff to erase it as he looks for Steve, who just escaped! but Intrigued, the lowly loser reads the script thus bringing it to life for the viewers

Here the Mad King William buries his pet pig in a lavish state funeral (And even though she only has 3 lines, it would be remiss for me to not mention, the queen is played by comedienne Victoria Wood, who passed just months ago!) Here this world's counterparts of Steve, Reece and Matt are Catholic Conspirators who enlist the help of a mutual f(r)iend, a Satanist named Dr. Pea, who with his powers, Matt's toenails, Steve's Drool and Reece's eyes create a poisonous homunculus, however since the eyes were plucked from a shortsighted man, his eyes have the same infliction!

It's the day of the King's Evil, an event where the monarchy believe to have curative powers after coitus! The 4 Conspirators lead a disguised homunculus to be have it's poisonous skin touch by the Mad King William, only for Geoff to shout at the screen , and being fictional, is surprised to find himself wrote into the story and into this world! For saving his life, William makes Geoff a knight, Herr Lipp gets caught up with being a father, Geoff gets kidnapped by Dr Pea on the toilet, Lipp finds scrapbooks of interviews claiming that the League was going to kill off each of the characters, since the 2nd series ended with the deaths of the centric Denton Family, that was a possiblity! as well as Lipp being furious as his existence is nothing more than a bit joke and a bad pun!

Back in King's Evil, Dr. Pea tortures Jeff for Information, when he explains that he and everyone here are characters, the chance to have the divine power to create, well how can a Satanist turn up his chance at that? with the plan comprised Bris takes action Forcing Matt and Reece to Bring Herr Lipp back to Hatfield going through the magic door to a deteriorating Royston Vasey, as well as  Dr Pea and the Conspirators. who blows Steve's head off with a musket! Mister Pea angry that it happened kills the 3 conspirators and uses their bodies to build a new homunculous! Reece Dies trying to clomb the church steeple to safety! Matt is Captured by Herr Lipp and Bris chops of one of the creatures poisonous talons, only for Pea to stab the butcher in the back and kill him, with final words he leaves Geoff with the talons!

Time to finish this
Geoff tricks Mr Pea into holding the talons, But Herr Lipp refuses to let Matt Gattiss go since he won't have any free will, but Geoff disagrees, this morning he was a car salesman, who could have being a pop star, but today he fought against monsters and Satanists. And won! If he can change by himself, so can a pun and a bit joke! Lipp hands over the gun to Geoff who accidentally takes the safety off and shoots Matt a new Belly button! Somehow Royston Vasey remains and is restored-Only to cut a comotosed Jeremy Dyson dreaming of Royston Vasey in hospital, and affecting Reality by giving everyone in the world tails!

THIS FILM IS AWESOME!
The humour is crisp and witty, and whilst known for it's toilet humour, it remains but never devolves into it! some of the jokes are funny (hiding in the OVERLOOKED Hotel, the Devil being a 6 inch Reece making Donald Duck Noises!) The Existential Sub-plot was excellent, here are 2 losers in Geoff and Lipp, One tries to change his life by being a part of a different world where the most pathetic modern man is a wonder in a Middle Ages world! and another who now sees his life as a cosmic joke, wanted revenge on the "God" who made him this way! consider that it's a man who didn't realize his limited English made him SEEM he was Homosexual and that is to why he can never have a family, you can feel nothing but sorry for Herr Lipp! this also had some amazing stop motion in the way of the 2 homuncili, it just added the childhood fear that anyone in it's target demographic had when they were kids!

In short, THE LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN: APOCALYPSE: BUY IT NOW FROM YOUR LOCAL SHOP FOR LOCAL PEOPLE!

(Eamonn comes out of hiding and Faces the Pimpernel.)

I Grant you one mercy, Bermingham! that Mercy is to pray for forgiveness!
If you know who i am, then you know of my lifestyle!
I KNOW YOU ARE DEAD!

(The masked man lunged with a shock stick. Eamonn dodged the weighty cudgel, the energy and heat gave off was unbearable.

they stood facing each other. Their fists each with a fragment of the Devil's DVD in or near them glowed in response, like 2 dogs howling in the night. Waiting. ALONE. WANTING TO DESTROY EACH OTHER!

Eamonn switched the Power glove on, since it was build out of a iron man toy the arc reactors made of plastic and diodes glowed.
" Good, fight with your weapon, don't forget the other one!"
""other" one? Eighties only made one!"
" Neither of you will live to remake that mistake!"

Each attacked with a Hadou-Kara Punch! despite the Pimpernel being a southpaw, they were eveningly match. Eamonn placed his hand over his copy of Black Knight. he used his other power to extract items from dvd worlds. He swung a Broad Axe at the Thief Of Boredom, but he moved his flaming hand in front of his body and a wall of translucent light appeared.

You are magic user? DAHM!
This is Chi, YOU INSOLENT CUR!
AREN'T THEY THE SAME BULLSHIT?
THEY ARE AS DIFFERENT THE LIVING AND YOU, THE DEAD!

THE WALL BROKE LIKE GLASS! Eamonn was now stuck in a glowing light that rooted his feet to the floor. Eamonn's foe walked over.
"WHAT A SHAME!"
" IF YOU ONLY YOU ONLY TOOK MY MERCY, I WOULD JUST PUT YOU ON TRIAL FOR YOUR CRIMES!"

FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT YOUR WORLD'S EAMONN!

NO, BUT YOU WILL DO, YOU HAVE THE SAME ARROGANCE, THE SAME DESIRE TO PUSH ON AND NOW EVEN IN IT'S INFANCY, YOU NOW POSSESS THE TECHNOLOGY!


YOUR Eamonn...he sounds like a real bastard!

.....
Only one Difference between me and him though!
I EMBRACE WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
EDWIN! JOE-JACK! NOW!
(Eighties lad rushed in with 3 Magic Negators he bought at Dr Insano's Garage Sale. Normally the butt of jokes, Eamonn had noticed the Masked Man carried no gun or projectiles. Joe- jack threw Eamonn the length of Silent Hill Dead-Seal Chain, and marked the Pimpernel with his Pump Action!

"No Capture! He threatened your lives! I CAN'T! WONT! STAND FOR THAT!

Eamonn's entire right arm combusted with a silver flame! Eighties Lad heard of this but never saw it 1st hand, the Move he usedto  kill Master Control, the move he used to seal the devil back in hell to restore balance in the universe~! A PUNCH SO POWERFUL, YOU DIDN'T JUST DIE, YOU WERE WRITTEN OUT OF EXISTENCE ENTIRELY!

DIMENSION! SHATTERING! PUNNNNNNCCCCCCHHHHH!


He punched the fabric of time and space! A void opened behind the Pimpernel, at the same time! Joejack was punched by a unseen force into the land of fire! Eamonn saw this and called off the attack! as gravity restored, Eamonn could see a the grey presence at the corner of his eye

"so know you know why he knew your name!"
Dammit! Eamonn thought. I now know that Elephant In the Room Didn't come here for the finger food and company!"

Eamonn approached the injured masked fighter!
"Take off your Mask!"
....
-DO IT! I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU BUT I WOULD HAVE ALSO KILLED MY FRIEND!
....You, are not like him!
-TAKE OFF YOUR MASK! I'M OFFERING YOU MY ONE MERCY!
-VERY WELL!
(He took off his mask, and even though his beard was not as unkempt as Joe-Jack. he was shocked to see his face staring back at him!)

FORGIVE THE LATE INTRODUCTION! My name Is Yusef Jacob Commenman! I am the Thief of Boredom! And I have come to stop The Terror that will overshadow the world!

CREDITS
League of Gentlemen; Apocalypse was reviewed, edited and compiled by Eamonn Bermingham
With Photos from
League of Gentlemen
Star wars episode 4 a new hope

NEXT MONTH: I GOT NOTHING! I NEVER HEARD OF GUNS, GIRLS, GAMBLING! BUT NEITHER HAVE YOU!

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