(RESUMING TRANSMISSION ON EARTH 3...
LOADING...
LOADING...
In a second Parallel World, One where progress is firmly stuck in Victorian Values, the oppressive State Police called the Paladins have captured Italian Aristocrats, killing one and preparing to do so again!
Outside, a horse-themed hovercycle crashed into an adjacent window, With Gymnastic skill and ability a man in riding gear and his mouth cover with a kerchief land in front of the Refugees he rose from his knees and made a stand back motion to them in motion
IT'S THE PIMPERNEL! PRIORITY ONE! Bellowed a Paladin,turning their laser rifles onto the masked man, the Pimpernel dismounted his bike and pulled of it's handlebars, a secret combination of pressure pads and turns turned them into a pair of shock-sticks.
For 40 Minutes, a fight ensued. blows were exchanged and laser shards dodged.
Leader sent out scrubs to capture the Italians, Thought the Pimpernel "These Boys can't tell I've being using Oracle to count their rounds. and their rounds should be up by...
CLICK
CLICK
NOW!
THUD!
Dusting himself over the downed policemen the Double Door swung furiously and were cleaved from it's hinges. Standing now in corpses of a splintered door was a Mountain of a Man wearing the uniform of the others. The Pimpernel swung his tasers, but this behemoth grabbed them. In his hands he bent them like they were nothing! His Distorted Laughter made the Countess and her father hug in defeat!
TRANSMISSION ENDED!
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR8LFNUr3vw
As you can tell sometimes from my Themes of the Month that isn't a setup for a joke from the dialogue or from the soundtrack, that the song i choose reflects the mood I am in after watching and what you are about to read. So If I ever bust out White Rabbit, like i did just now, it means his months film, was Made From Drugs!
I mean look at the cover!
Taking up half the DVD space is Hill's Head thinking up this film as evidenced by the brainfart on the top of his shiny bald head, there is a lot going on in this film's cover never mind the mobility scooter and helicopter trying to escape the Brainfart!
But Let's Try! we can always try!
From left to Right...
Blackpool Tower is coming out of Harry's Left Ear, Above Sheridan Smith and an actor with his face obscured by the film's logo's shadow are Shellfish people. This Year Sheridan is up for Baftas for her portrayal of English Diva, Cilla Black. Last Year? uncomfortable costume in a kiddie's film!
Over the Title, Matt Lucas is a Balding Ice-Cream Man Hitler who has his dukes up, Beside him is a Hamster Sock Puppet, other side of the Brain Fart, Julie Walthers Scrunched up, mugging face makes her look more terrifying than the film's villains of Lucas and Simon Bird, speaking of Bird, he's looking out at you like (camp voice) "oooh, Get you and your Harry Hill film!"
Peering over Harry's Right ear is the mascot of a certain Online Bingo Site stalking chickens in his ear. It's enough to make your brain escape, hold on, what's that in between Y and the second H? IS HIS BRAIN REALLY MAKING A RUN FOR IT?
okay Maybe I should Rewind and be Kind to my International Readers
Harry Hill is a British Surrealist Comedian, whose Sight and Prop Jokes made his Show, Tv Burp, England's answer to MST3K, A spearhead for ITV, during the months BBC were winning back people with Strictly and Doctor Who! If your Show became the butt of a Harry Hill joke, kiss your renewal contract goodbye! sadly his talents were wasted trying to save the ailing Dandy comic, And narrated the White Trash Showcase that is You've being Framed!, Britain's Answer to America's Funniest Home Videos!
The film starts with the Blatant Lie of "Based On A True Story". Harry races his Nan (Walthers) on mobility scooters, ending with Harry invading an office building, delivering a Baby and foiling a robbery!
At home, Harry realizes he forgot to buy a chicken for dinner so must get one of his own from the coop. The Chickens has none of that, so they open fire on him with machine guns, until a grenade backfire kills a chicken, and somehow makes it ready for human consumption!
During Dinner, Nan brings us to the Plot by exposisting about Harry's long loss brother Otto (Lucas). After his Parents abandoned them by never returning from Butlin's, Nan couldn't cope with two boys so she left Otto to be Raised by Alsatians, also Harry brings up how living with Nan means he can't bring Girls over, but only puts up with it because of Pet, Abu Hamster
You Know, a Play on the name Abu Hamza, the British Terrorist known as "Hamza the Hook" because of his missing hands? Try explaining that Joke to the kiddies!
So the Hamster (voice of Johnny Vegas, doing his worse Billy Connelly) is sick so they send him to the most incompetent vet ever (Bird) after a scary medical montage, the Vet decides to put Abu down, but Harry has a flashback to all his childhood memories of him and Abu, so he saves the hamster, Dr Vets his boss that Abu has left, who reveals to be Otto. But the plan is not revenge for being abandoned and replaced by a hamster, or something sensible, no, it's to stuff Abu...and put him in display in a Hamster town diorama!
Harry Wants to Organise the part last week of his hamsters life, But Rather that respect Abu's wishes (the audience can hear Abu, but no-one else can, making harry speak for Abu when making a decision he wants, a joke that is crucified in this 88 minute film!) so instead meeting Rihanna (which would have demolished Citv's kitty!) they decided to go to Blackpool, singing a song about the Northern Tourist Town, when the Door bell ring to bring the hills back to reality, At said door is Dr. Vet and his 7ft Crossdressing Henchman, Mansfield Dressed as "Fr. Jesus and A nun to perform Abu's last Rites.
But the sock puppet is too much for Dr Vet, Ending with both Henchmen under the bedsheets and Harry arriving and putting 2 and 2 together.
Need I tell you that the Distributing company that thought that was ok for a children's film also produced Golden CompASS? It's even advertised on this dvd?
It's the 1st day of the week to Blackpool and Otto tells his Henchmen to straighten up or he'll feed him to the Alsatians. They then...Perform a number to Tina Turner's Nutbush City Limits, because why?
So Mansfield and Dr Vet trail Harry and Nan's car in A giant Traffic Cone until a low bridge scuppers their plans. After the Sav-Nat bring them to BlackPOLE ("Home Of England's Biggest Black Pole"), Harry chucks it into the ocean and books the cheapest B&B In town, ran by the Indie Band, The Magic Numbers, After a song that could have being used in a real motel ad, Abu has a nightmare about Dr. Vet, the Next day the Hills leave and head to a tour of the Onimous Nuclear Factory in Blackpole,
After bribing a cleaner to pose as a tourguide (Jim "English-Guy-who's-In-EVERYTHING!"Broadbent) The Henchmen attack Abu who flees into a control room is turned into a 50-FOOT WHATEVER! and ramages down the shoreline! It only lasts a minute making it a...
But the Drugs are still in the Writing Pool's Systems. As a walk on the beach is interrupted when a shellfish man asks Harry to save his species children who have being kidnapped by shop-owners, stuck together as ornaments and sold to tourists! His Name...Barney Coll (Get it? BARNACLE? Cos he's made out of shells?)
So Harry is deemed a hero after the rescue of the shell children, by The Shell People where he meets Michelle (Sheridan Smith) and they party into the night but the inter-special flirting doesn't impress her father, King Conch!
But they have eloped to the ocean where they are turned into Marionettes and into another song!
FAST FOREWARD BUTTONS WERE INVENTED FOR THINGS LIKE THIS!
Harry is back on the road again and he's left Michelle, the whole Cross Species Relationship didn't work after all. and they drive into the next trap, a rigged boxing match against Mansfield at a circus for Abu's Freedom! After being Massacred by the 7 foot Mansfield, Harry realized he can't box, because he didn't have a training montage, said montage gives him all the boxing skills..to tickle Mansfield to submission, winning Abu and Stick of Rock Candy
PLOT I-
Harry:"I'm sure this object that doesn't seem important will used to get out a tricky situation later!"
OI! I MAKE THE FOURTH WALL BREAKING JOKES HERE, PAL!
Sadly the the car has ran out of Petrol so the humans leave to get some, the Henchmen can't miss another opportunity like this but still do, despite Harry distracted by an Innuendo laden Carwash musical Number!
Otto is disappointed with constant failures so hires "Le Mastier Du Disguise-a fox in dinner jacket!"
FOXY BINGO HAS GONE BAD!
Because Nan has Drunk all the Petrol they are forced to walk, until a limo drives up with Dr Vet and Mansfield dress as Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez
NURSE! NURSE! I NEED MORE PILLS!
So, does all of Otto's plans lead to a contrived, misjoined Muscial number, because now Dachshunds in afro wigs are dancing to Jackson 5 songs as the Distraction to catch Abu!
Finally the Hills get to Blackpool as "Justin" and "Selena" replace Abu with the Fox, Harry bumps into Michelle who has swam here to Blackpool, (she must have swam through a lot of shopping bags!) to warn Harry about Otto, Despite Nan telling her she hates her for trying to steal away her grandson! Meanwhile Dr vet celebrates stealing a sick rodent
The Disguise is uncovered by an argument in the chipper and it's revealed that the henchman threw the bag Abu was put in into a car boot and assumed he can't get out!
Sure Enough, Abu fashions a key out of Rock Candy, the rest of the cast sing the plot to the style of Rainfall in My Heart just in case any cinema-goers were late to the party!
Nan finds a trail of BBQ Beef Hula Hoops ans Instantly suspects Otto. from a Trail of a Commonly sold, beloved crisps that are priced less than a euro/pound and sold in their thousands, you suspect one person? how did you come to that conclusion?
You Know What? Really don't care! Logic got taken out in drive by hours ago!
So Otto's plan is to stuff Abu dressed as Harry and posed him being beaten up by a Hamster dressed as Otto!
Let's finish this!
Nan use Nan-fu to attack Mansfield, Otto Released Giant Brain Beast to recreate the Raptors in Kitchen scene of Jurrassic Park, but the Shellfish people arrive with the guns borrowed from Harry's Chickens, Otto captures Abu and climbs Blackpool Tower where a fight between him and Harry ensues, Nan arrives in a helicopter and so it ends with Otto Falling off the tower, to serious injury. With all loose ends tied, it's time for the entire cast to sing us out with You've Got the Love and the film tributed to an actual hamster Hill owned as a child
THIS FILM MAKES NO SENSE!
A bugbear from my review of Ant N Dec's Alien Autopsy is why didn't they just do a film of them? We found the answer in this film-the main material has no film inciting qualities-we had to see them make a home life, a villain, a macguffin and a quest for a film based on a show about a man you rags on tv shows for a living! And to be honest, this plot is all over the shop! It's many set pieces were almost like being dragged by an excited, sugar filled child at a funfair
I'd probably sit down and watch this fill again, but only because I've seen worse!
CREDITS
Harry Hill the Movie was reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Music from
"white rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
And Images from
Power Rangers: Super Megaforce
Nostalgia Critic
and Austin Powers
Harry Hill was Produced by Lucky Features Productions and Distributed by Entertainment in Video
All Rights Reserved.
All media used belong to their Respected owners!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...
IT'S A BRAIN CELL KILLING BEERBASH WITH AN 18 RATING AND A 4% PROOF OF ALCOHOL! NEXT MONTH WE CHUG DOWN A FROSTY MUG OF IMMATURITY AND RACISM IN BEERFEST!
LOADING...
LOADING...
In a second Parallel World, One where progress is firmly stuck in Victorian Values, the oppressive State Police called the Paladins have captured Italian Aristocrats, killing one and preparing to do so again!
Outside, a horse-themed hovercycle crashed into an adjacent window, With Gymnastic skill and ability a man in riding gear and his mouth cover with a kerchief land in front of the Refugees he rose from his knees and made a stand back motion to them in motion
IT'S THE PIMPERNEL! PRIORITY ONE! Bellowed a Paladin,turning their laser rifles onto the masked man, the Pimpernel dismounted his bike and pulled of it's handlebars, a secret combination of pressure pads and turns turned them into a pair of shock-sticks.
For 40 Minutes, a fight ensued. blows were exchanged and laser shards dodged.
Leader sent out scrubs to capture the Italians, Thought the Pimpernel "These Boys can't tell I've being using Oracle to count their rounds. and their rounds should be up by...
CLICK
CLICK
NOW!
THUD!
Dusting himself over the downed policemen the Double Door swung furiously and were cleaved from it's hinges. Standing now in corpses of a splintered door was a Mountain of a Man wearing the uniform of the others. The Pimpernel swung his tasers, but this behemoth grabbed them. In his hands he bent them like they were nothing! His Distorted Laughter made the Countess and her father hug in defeat!
TRANSMISSION ENDED!
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR8LFNUr3vw
As you can tell sometimes from my Themes of the Month that isn't a setup for a joke from the dialogue or from the soundtrack, that the song i choose reflects the mood I am in after watching and what you are about to read. So If I ever bust out White Rabbit, like i did just now, it means his months film, was Made From Drugs!
I mean look at the cover!
Taking up half the DVD space is Hill's Head thinking up this film as evidenced by the brainfart on the top of his shiny bald head, there is a lot going on in this film's cover never mind the mobility scooter and helicopter trying to escape the Brainfart!But Let's Try! we can always try!
From left to Right...
Blackpool Tower is coming out of Harry's Left Ear, Above Sheridan Smith and an actor with his face obscured by the film's logo's shadow are Shellfish people. This Year Sheridan is up for Baftas for her portrayal of English Diva, Cilla Black. Last Year? uncomfortable costume in a kiddie's film!
Over the Title, Matt Lucas is a Balding Ice-Cream Man Hitler who has his dukes up, Beside him is a Hamster Sock Puppet, other side of the Brain Fart, Julie Walthers Scrunched up, mugging face makes her look more terrifying than the film's villains of Lucas and Simon Bird, speaking of Bird, he's looking out at you like (camp voice) "oooh, Get you and your Harry Hill film!"
Peering over Harry's Right ear is the mascot of a certain Online Bingo Site stalking chickens in his ear. It's enough to make your brain escape, hold on, what's that in between Y and the second H? IS HIS BRAIN REALLY MAKING A RUN FOR IT?
okay Maybe I should Rewind and be Kind to my International Readers
Harry Hill is a British Surrealist Comedian, whose Sight and Prop Jokes made his Show, Tv Burp, England's answer to MST3K, A spearhead for ITV, during the months BBC were winning back people with Strictly and Doctor Who! If your Show became the butt of a Harry Hill joke, kiss your renewal contract goodbye! sadly his talents were wasted trying to save the ailing Dandy comic, And narrated the White Trash Showcase that is You've being Framed!, Britain's Answer to America's Funniest Home Videos!
The film starts with the Blatant Lie of "Based On A True Story". Harry races his Nan (Walthers) on mobility scooters, ending with Harry invading an office building, delivering a Baby and foiling a robbery!
At home, Harry realizes he forgot to buy a chicken for dinner so must get one of his own from the coop. The Chickens has none of that, so they open fire on him with machine guns, until a grenade backfire kills a chicken, and somehow makes it ready for human consumption!
During Dinner, Nan brings us to the Plot by exposisting about Harry's long loss brother Otto (Lucas). After his Parents abandoned them by never returning from Butlin's, Nan couldn't cope with two boys so she left Otto to be Raised by Alsatians, also Harry brings up how living with Nan means he can't bring Girls over, but only puts up with it because of Pet, Abu Hamster
You Know, a Play on the name Abu Hamza, the British Terrorist known as "Hamza the Hook" because of his missing hands? Try explaining that Joke to the kiddies!
So the Hamster (voice of Johnny Vegas, doing his worse Billy Connelly) is sick so they send him to the most incompetent vet ever (Bird) after a scary medical montage, the Vet decides to put Abu down, but Harry has a flashback to all his childhood memories of him and Abu, so he saves the hamster, Dr Vets his boss that Abu has left, who reveals to be Otto. But the plan is not revenge for being abandoned and replaced by a hamster, or something sensible, no, it's to stuff Abu...and put him in display in a Hamster town diorama!
Harry Wants to Organise the part last week of his hamsters life, But Rather that respect Abu's wishes (the audience can hear Abu, but no-one else can, making harry speak for Abu when making a decision he wants, a joke that is crucified in this 88 minute film!) so instead meeting Rihanna (which would have demolished Citv's kitty!) they decided to go to Blackpool, singing a song about the Northern Tourist Town, when the Door bell ring to bring the hills back to reality, At said door is Dr. Vet and his 7ft Crossdressing Henchman, Mansfield Dressed as "Fr. Jesus and A nun to perform Abu's last Rites.
But the sock puppet is too much for Dr Vet, Ending with both Henchmen under the bedsheets and Harry arriving and putting 2 and 2 together.
Need I tell you that the Distributing company that thought that was ok for a children's film also produced Golden CompASS? It's even advertised on this dvd?
It's the 1st day of the week to Blackpool and Otto tells his Henchmen to straighten up or he'll feed him to the Alsatians. They then...Perform a number to Tina Turner's Nutbush City Limits, because why?
 |
| "TOO COMPLEX FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND!" |
So Mansfield and Dr Vet trail Harry and Nan's car in A giant Traffic Cone until a low bridge scuppers their plans. After the Sav-Nat bring them to BlackPOLE ("Home Of England's Biggest Black Pole"), Harry chucks it into the ocean and books the cheapest B&B In town, ran by the Indie Band, The Magic Numbers, After a song that could have being used in a real motel ad, Abu has a nightmare about Dr. Vet, the Next day the Hills leave and head to a tour of the Onimous Nuclear Factory in Blackpole,
After bribing a cleaner to pose as a tourguide (Jim "English-Guy-who's-In-EVERYTHING!"Broadbent) The Henchmen attack Abu who flees into a control room is turned into a 50-FOOT WHATEVER! and ramages down the shoreline! It only lasts a minute making it a...
But the Drugs are still in the Writing Pool's Systems. As a walk on the beach is interrupted when a shellfish man asks Harry to save his species children who have being kidnapped by shop-owners, stuck together as ornaments and sold to tourists! His Name...Barney Coll (Get it? BARNACLE? Cos he's made out of shells?)
So Harry is deemed a hero after the rescue of the shell children, by The Shell People where he meets Michelle (Sheridan Smith) and they party into the night but the inter-special flirting doesn't impress her father, King Conch!
But they have eloped to the ocean where they are turned into Marionettes and into another song!
FAST FOREWARD BUTTONS WERE INVENTED FOR THINGS LIKE THIS!
Harry is back on the road again and he's left Michelle, the whole Cross Species Relationship didn't work after all. and they drive into the next trap, a rigged boxing match against Mansfield at a circus for Abu's Freedom! After being Massacred by the 7 foot Mansfield, Harry realized he can't box, because he didn't have a training montage, said montage gives him all the boxing skills..to tickle Mansfield to submission, winning Abu and Stick of Rock Candy
PLOT I-
Harry:"I'm sure this object that doesn't seem important will used to get out a tricky situation later!"
OI! I MAKE THE FOURTH WALL BREAKING JOKES HERE, PAL!
Sadly the the car has ran out of Petrol so the humans leave to get some, the Henchmen can't miss another opportunity like this but still do, despite Harry distracted by an Innuendo laden Carwash musical Number!
Otto is disappointed with constant failures so hires "Le Mastier Du Disguise-a fox in dinner jacket!"
FOXY BINGO HAS GONE BAD!
Because Nan has Drunk all the Petrol they are forced to walk, until a limo drives up with Dr Vet and Mansfield dress as Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez
NURSE! NURSE! I NEED MORE PILLS!
So, does all of Otto's plans lead to a contrived, misjoined Muscial number, because now Dachshunds in afro wigs are dancing to Jackson 5 songs as the Distraction to catch Abu!
Finally the Hills get to Blackpool as "Justin" and "Selena" replace Abu with the Fox, Harry bumps into Michelle who has swam here to Blackpool, (she must have swam through a lot of shopping bags!) to warn Harry about Otto, Despite Nan telling her she hates her for trying to steal away her grandson! Meanwhile Dr vet celebrates stealing a sick rodent
The Disguise is uncovered by an argument in the chipper and it's revealed that the henchman threw the bag Abu was put in into a car boot and assumed he can't get out!
 | ||
| "I'm going to place him in an contrived and easily escapable situation, and assumed he died!" |
Nan finds a trail of BBQ Beef Hula Hoops ans Instantly suspects Otto. from a Trail of a Commonly sold, beloved crisps that are priced less than a euro/pound and sold in their thousands, you suspect one person? how did you come to that conclusion?
You Know What? Really don't care! Logic got taken out in drive by hours ago!
So Otto's plan is to stuff Abu dressed as Harry and posed him being beaten up by a Hamster dressed as Otto!
Let's finish this!
Nan use Nan-fu to attack Mansfield, Otto Released Giant Brain Beast to recreate the Raptors in Kitchen scene of Jurrassic Park, but the Shellfish people arrive with the guns borrowed from Harry's Chickens, Otto captures Abu and climbs Blackpool Tower where a fight between him and Harry ensues, Nan arrives in a helicopter and so it ends with Otto Falling off the tower, to serious injury. With all loose ends tied, it's time for the entire cast to sing us out with You've Got the Love and the film tributed to an actual hamster Hill owned as a child
THIS FILM MAKES NO SENSE!
A bugbear from my review of Ant N Dec's Alien Autopsy is why didn't they just do a film of them? We found the answer in this film-the main material has no film inciting qualities-we had to see them make a home life, a villain, a macguffin and a quest for a film based on a show about a man you rags on tv shows for a living! And to be honest, this plot is all over the shop! It's many set pieces were almost like being dragged by an excited, sugar filled child at a funfair
I'd probably sit down and watch this fill again, but only because I've seen worse!
CREDITS
Harry Hill the Movie was reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Music from
"white rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
And Images from
Power Rangers: Super Megaforce
Nostalgia Critic
and Austin Powers
Harry Hill was Produced by Lucky Features Productions and Distributed by Entertainment in Video
All Rights Reserved.
All media used belong to their Respected owners!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...
IT'S A BRAIN CELL KILLING BEERBASH WITH AN 18 RATING AND A 4% PROOF OF ALCOHOL! NEXT MONTH WE CHUG DOWN A FROSTY MUG OF IMMATURITY AND RACISM IN BEERFEST!
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