(DEVIL'S LINE IN RED)
?????? LINES IN GREY)
(THE STORY SO FAR...
THE EVIL THAT HAS PREYED EAMONN FOR OVER A YEAR NOW, CAUSED HIM LAST MONTH TO DISAPPEAR. SO JOE-JACK DRIVING A (SIGH) NAPPY TRUCK TO FIND HIM, HAS LEFT THE HOME-SICK AND HELPLESS 80'S LAD ALONE WITH THE DEVIL!
DUDE!
IT'S ME!!! THE TOTALLY RADICAL EIGHTIES LAD! I LOVE THE 80'S! THE MUSIC WAS LIKE SO LIKE SO (IMMATURE GUITAR NOISE!) AND THE GIRLS WAS LIKE(IMMATURE BOOM-CHIKA-WAA-WAA! SOUND) THE MUSIC WAS SO GOOD UNTIL SHIT.I.AM RUINED IT BY ADDING HIS POXY LYRICS LIKE THE BASTAAAARRDS! THERE ARE..AND...
(TECHINICAL DIFFICULTIES-PLEASE STAND BY!)
ANYWAY THIS NOT ABOUT CHRISTMAS, THIS IS ABOUT THE COMEDY SCI-FI TIME-BENDER HOT TUB TIME MACHINE!
SO HERE WE GO!
We meet our heroes separetly, Dog-carer and washed up singer Nick(craig robinson) Recently divorced Adam(john cusask) his nerdy nephew Jacob(Clark Duke) and Party animal Lou (Corddy) who tries to fake suicide to get the others together. So to cheer him up they on a skiing trip to their old stompin' ground and are cheesed to find that it like, totally sucks!
Feeling down on themselves, the hot-tub turns itself on, minutes later the four drunk naked men(NO HOMO!) spill Russian red bull on the heat control.
The next day the go skiing down a hill. For reasons they can't explain. they feel so youthful.Returning to Kodiak valley, they find the place swarming with teenagers who weren't their the night before. Asking a girl what colour Michael Jackson is, confirms they have gone back in time.
Looking through the mirror. the 3 older heroes see themselves as teenagers. From nowhere,A Time-travelling Repair-man tells the boys not to change time. That means Adam must split with his girlfriend, Nick must bomb his music career, while Lou must get beaten up by a Snow Patrol member.
At Reception, Jacob finds out his mother was at Kodiak Valley, acting like a slut. Jacob tells Lou he never knew his father.
FORESHADOWING!
So Adam tries to ditch his girlfriend, Nick Bangs a groupie. and Lou starts a fight with the Snow patrol, However Jacob's presense has changed things as the snow patrol steal his bag. In their lodge they go though his stuff and finding 20+year tech and the Russian Red Bull. So Blane thinks Lou and his froends are....DIRTY COMMIES!
Adam is shocked to learn that Jenny was going to split with Adam anyway. Being called up on this Jenny stabs Adam with fork in the eye, anyway!
Lou decides, since he is a massive douchebag,to use his future knowledge to win at the bookies.The Mystic Repairman tells Jacob that the portal closes at Dawn. Adam is reliving his past by doing 'shrooms after his break up.
I candidly say that we all did drugs in the 80's and it had no pschological side effects on me whatsover!
Isn't That Right?, Ghost of John Lennon?
(silence!)
Ghost of john Lennon says yes!...and to kill my family!
Adam and his future ex-wife, break into a chateau and Lou and Nick loses all their winnings when a squirrel they puked on changes the result of a football game, Forcing Lou to give Nick a Blowjob!
After the act is called of by nick bribing the punters with future knowledge, Nick tells Lou that he knows that his wife cheated on him, So lou tells Nick to get on stage and change his destiny. Nick rocks it old-skool! and then claim to have written and then performs Lets get it started by the Black eye peas.
(V-SIGN)
THAT'S FOR RUINING DIRTY DANCING FOR FOREVER!,MOTHERFUCKERS!
Lou prepares for his fight, flirts with Jacob's mother, nick again misses the fight, causing Lou to get this ass kicked again.Confronting a suicidal Lou on the rooftop. Jacob tells the men that they need the Russian red Bull to spill again. Lou bangs jacob's mother and when told to stop. the teen disappears. when they start again, Jacob is conceived and rewritten into existance
FORESHADOWING HAS ARRIVED!
So lets finish this. the gangs the Russian Red Bull back, they return without Lou! And the fure has changed!
lou invented Google,he, jacob and his mother are a family, Nick is a music producer, and Adamis happily married. and so the film ends with Lou rewritting history to front Motley Crue
THIS FILM IS AWESOME!
I WISH I CAN GO BACK TO THE EIGHTIES!
(With a flicker of flame, 80's Lad is teleported by 30 years back in time leaving his shadow that turns into binary code)
WARNING!
ERRACTIC ALGORYTHMN COST=0
DO YOU WISH TO SEARCH FOR PROGRAMME?Y/N
DECLARATION:YES=COULD NOT FIND PROGRAMME!
BEGINING UNIVERSAL DELETION PROTOCOL!
Hello readers Eamonn here with the real review of hot tub time machine. i just thought that 80'S LAD will enjoy this more as we won't hear from him in a while.
ReplyDeleteso the film. yeah it was funny but little immature for my taste but thecomedic timing and great soundtrack made this film work.