Before I start, Currently I am Doing a Sister Thread on my Twitter account @RealEnli to coincide with this series. When i bought up Knightmare being cancelled, I did it not knowing the Full Story. So Here is the Link from Knightmare's Fan website and i hope this Settles that!
Why Knightmare Ended | Knightmare.com
It was now the Turn of the new Century. And this was the Decade that despite getting all their Ducks in a row, gaining the Shows from GMTV and launching the Channel. Changes in how ITV Viewed their shows would be Evident in how little original shows they made year to year. It wouldn't be at egregious levels just yet. But Cracks are begining to show. While The Biggest Show in Britain is the Big Studio SMTV, the fact is that it was penultimate show of a now dead Concept. Yes, Frugality is the Word of the day. Buy some Franchises, get some sponsors, Push the Phone-in Competitions, Make Cheap Homemade Shit!
But all with Varying Levels of Quality!
2000
Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids
With The Young Ones' Nigel Planer doing all the Voices. A Macabre Cinema Owner runs the Cinema Scream Screen, to play cautionary tales. The Cinema scenes were Stop Motion, while the "Film" was Animated. While you wouldn't call the Animation "Quality" In any Make, Shape or form, the Stories themselves were so well Done!
Nickelodeon would gain most of Citv's Shows and rework the premise into A jail for lost Souls, Which cramped the Storytelling a bit!
Showing my Age, But I did not like this show. Let me Rephrase that, Teenage Me Didn't like this Show. Two Shape Shifting Aliens, which means you could replace Actors and have a out, Adopt 3 Children. With One Note Personalities, Dumb One, Smart One and Teen Rebel. Innuendo and Just Lame Brick Jokes! Nice Special effects though
The Baskervilles, The Nicest to a Fault Family in all Britain, Move to Underworld, the Worst Amusement park in the world ran by S*tan Himself (Referred to "The Boss") made solely to get piss humanity off! Until they meet The Sickly Sweet Baskervilles.
Despite the starring lead of Rob Byron as Mr Baskerville, the Show has confusing World Building.
In the open Credits. We are told the monsters are either Robotic or Actors. But then we see the costumed Actors never talking off their Costumes, or the robots eating, or sometimes they forget who is a Human in a costume and who is a robot. Is Sat*n himself an Actor, because his Grandfather calls him a "Loony who thinks he's the Devil!"But what those that mean, he's not or he will be once The Grandfather Dies?
The Show is good, it's just Confusing!
Life Size Puppets live in an Abandoned House, despite the Setting, the Show is lovely and Gentle!
Not to be Confused with the Alien Sex Vampire Film. This show Followed a Britain on a Oppressive Government who are trying to track down Psychics that could deny Their Rule.
You know, For kids!
And it was too much for Parents, that the Show was Complained about it after the second episode. It's run would be Completed on the Sunday Block.
No episodes on YouTube could be found, but it does have a TV Tropes page.
Little Grey Rabbit
A Cartoon about A Sweet Rabbit who lives with two lazy animals a Squirrel and a hare (The latter voiced by Hugh Laurie) Nicely Animated and Well paced.
Preston Pig
Based on the Book Series. The 3 little Pigs Books are Turned on its Head by an Energetic Pig.
Timmy Towers
3 years in Development Hell, And Eighties Star Timmy Mallet returned with a Studio Show. Those Poor Kids!
Since I said I wouldn't be covering the Saturday morning show by GMTV (As prior to 2006 they were a separate Entity to Citv!) But in the late 80s Wacaday saw Timmy Mallet present the cartoons in-between Games and improv with fans and a parent. And he would go abroad and tells facts about that city.
Here it's Timmy playing a Fictional version of himself, running a Hotel with Slap stick and Custard Pies.
Yes Exactly what Sooty is doing at the same time.
And I would be remiss of myself if I Didn't Mention the Villain of The Abominable No,Man! was Played by Citv and CBBC Presenter Mark Speight. Who Commited Suicide in 2008. He was 42!
Not a Sister Show to Wolves Witches and Giants, but a French-British joint based on the 3 Factions getting in each other's Way. Though a British book Series, No English episodes exist on YouTube!
2001
While famously a part of Channel 5's Milkshake!, The Show Started on ITV. While the 3D modern episodes look....
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| Strange!... |
....the 2d was drawn well.
You know a Show is gonna Suck when the Heroes Deliberately Call themselves that. Scraping the Barrel of then dead TMNT craze! 3 Scat music named Aliens, Turn on their masters after finding out Earth is pretty much cool. This Show was a Toy Grab, but unlike it's more Successful franchise it shared the Slot with, had more to offer. This didn't!
I found it funny that some TMNT actors ended up on a Rip-off before returning to the show.
Finger tips.
A Make and Do Show with a revolving Door of Presenters including.....of course, the Man who will kill Saturday morning shows for itv! THIS PRICK!
He's Very good with his Hands!
That's why he's still Ant and Dec's Coffee Gopher!
Horrible Histories
No Not this, You'd be so lucky if it was! The cbbc's Show that launched the cast of ghosts was the book series SECOND ATTEMPT On a kids show!
No this Cheaply Drawn Southpark Ripoff, Done By Some Paddy in Da Wesht ov Ireland, Begod! Had Two Annoying Voiced Characters travel Back in Time to live and die in a period of history! Unlike the new show that strikes a happy Medium. This show Dials up Poop and Vomit to a scale of a really bad Adult Swim Show! Was Translated into irish to teach Kids History Which Is ridiculous Because the Different between Our History and Theirs.
Seeing that Bidding over S Club 7 to make Stories centred around their videos would be a game they could lose, CITV Made their own Fake Band with a TV Show. Originally the live action show on SMTV's later Episodes, (Yeah, be honest, you watch SMTV for Pokémon, Ant losing his shit over the rules of Wonky Donkey, and turned it over for something else, then came back for Chums!) 5 "Singers" all giving their initial letters to their Names (Not their Real names) S.T.A.R.S lived in a Garishly painted house where Musical green screen shenanigans abound.
One of the "actors" is now on Hollyoaks and one of the girls I think was a ringer on STIsland!
Sooty returns doing the same thing he always has. But now the Holiday camp Setting, fits with Tired Humour, we now have celebrity guests back, but remember this is itv in Current Year, so it's only going to be Some pondscum from the Essex Me-Am-Thick Show!
Stop Motion Preschool Shows to teach kids about Sharing.
2002
Albie
A series of Shorts that were not advertised in TV mags due to being too short. While Albie and the other Humans look strange with blank Skin, it seems to be a creative choice. As there are many colourful Character's and scenes to grab your attention.
Now we are talking! Big Star Voice cast, A blend of art styles, sharply written Script. The early 2000s really was something else for animation, but sadly this is a forgotten Gem. A family of rabbits, world is turned upside down when A family of Wolves move from Canada to the literal neck of the woods. Must watch, even now 20 plus years later!
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| "AAAAAAH! I CANNAE VOICE-ACT!" |
Not Satisfied with slowly permeating British screens since the 90s, Ant And Dec tried their hands on voice acting! (Ummmm.....)
I know, it's for little children, but these two never really Progressed as Actors as children.
Mr Bean returns in cartoon Form. First as part of ITV 1 Saturday night prime Time, it was moved to CITV to continue its run. It officially ended in 2019, but CITV of course like to churn out it's long runners. Is now part of its Itvx Kids Lineup!
As for the Show itself it's still Rowan Atkinson as Bean, even though some jokes are toned down for Kids, but still Genius!
3 Gibberish Spouting Brothers of Circus Performers. The Lady-killer Xan, The Strongman Adi and Little Person Enk, Travel the World and even through time to Perform Stunts. Which succeed more to luck than any real Skill.
Sir Gadabout
Campy Cheap Comedy with Cardboard castles, about a Incompetent Knight, with a side plot of a princess disguising herself as a Ninja to prove she is capable as the boys. It's Sounds too familiar.
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| Literally the Same Show! |
2 furry proclaimed "Heroes of the Universe" Bing and Bong, travel to Planets via elevated Couch to planets of Nature, Technology Colour Sound, Shapes and Self.
Despite Fur Textures that Aged Poorly, Show Holds up, And having a Self Planet , made it a show tackling Feelings at a very Early Age.
Voiced by Liza Tarbuck, and the hottest Actor at the time, James Nesbitt. Tractor Tom and his voiceless vehicle Friends work on Farmer Fi's Farm with the Help of Mechanic Matt. Maybe it's because I've seen too many let's Plays of Amanda the Adventurer but this show now looks Frightening.
2003
Boobah
One of the most Frightening looking ass Shows. Supposedly for children, the BooBahs wacamole looking asses made the list of 5 horrifying things meant for Children. Maybe it was the Led Eyebrows or the Shifty eyes or its sudden changes of movements. But who at ragdoll thought," not only do need to rip-off our own biggest Creation, but we need to make a More Scary and Less Educational Version of Teletubbies!"
In Distant Space, a Human Girl sees her Father kidnapped by Alien Pirates. So to free him she finds the most Threatening, Bounty hunter in all of Space.....only to find out that Marlon is a Neurotic Hamster in a Suit of Armour. And now the all of his troubles are Cassie's s Troubles too.
A Flash animated Cartoon which I never heard of before today. But one with something for all Ages.
A show adapted from the Books by Jacqueline Wilson, about things that Teen girls would worry about, Body Image, Boyfriends, Step parents and such. Of all the shows that they had doing this, they always ended the Show with the number for Samaritans.
Meg and Mog
The Beloved 80s story books get animated. About the adventures of the Witch and her black Cat.
Created by the team behind Maisy Mouse, Paz is a Penguin who teaches Social Skills.
Star finder.
Not a Ten-a-Penny talent show, but British Teenagers Competed to win a Scholarship to Russia's Star City to learn to be Astronauts.
Yoko! Jakamoto! Toto!
A Preschool Cartoon inspired by Tribal Art Following A monkey, An Anteater, and a bird-of-paradise. The Dialogue is sounds and Pokémon Speak and the story is easy to pick up from episode to episode
2004
Barking!
It was only at matter of time, when Citv would hit on the Talking Dog show! No Episodes can be found on YouTube. But at least it's better remember than....
Lets Roll with Roland Butter
Only a Wikipedia page exists to Denote that this was once here. Google images and YouTube doesn't pick up anything. Only that the Wikipedia Page tells us that this "Comedy" follows a Fat man trying and Failing at Sports. And that's why this decade is known for a Double Standard. We can't have a Scary Live action Show where Fascist Government threaten death, but we can have Cartoon children Eaten. We can have a show trying to make sense of Body Image problems, but we can also have Fat Children Told, Don't even try to lose weight, you'll look at stupid as this fat man! We can't talk about sex, but we can Hire a Lingerie Model Who's Sole Purpose is wearing a Spaghetti Scraped Crop Top and have it covered in Water, so Daddy and Big Brother have a reason to watch Ministry Of Mayhem!
My Life as a Popat!
Obnoxious Family Comedy, with Gurning Actors and Asian Stereotypes so Tired, Even The Producers of Citizen Khan would say "Good Lord, tone it Down!"
2005
Now Considered Lost Media, Only 3 episodes online were found of this preschool show. The Dapper Mister Perfect likes to show us he is very Diligent and Meticulous at his job this week....If only if it weren't for these Macroscopic Bacteria called Blips which seem to be Obnoxiousness on a Viral Scale. When they are ever the Blips appear they drive Mr Perfect to Distraction and to the Unemployment line!
The Giblet Boys
Obnoxious Family Comedy with Gurning Actors and Working Class Stereotypes so Tired, Even The Producers of Shameless would say "Good Lord, Tone it down!"
Who calls their Kids Pod and Scurvy?
not only starring in The Biggest Show on Saturday nights, Harry Hill did a Show for kids who didn't get his jokes on Tv Burp. Not a fan of getting a boy from the audience to play a girl in drag, though
The late Rik Mayall did his best Ricky Gervais Impression to play this Idiotic Version of King Arthur who trying to win the Hand of a Selfish Guinevere...to no avail.... but it's actually funny....while a Show like Charlie Brown and the Football scene was just Yanking the Chain.
A 3D Reboot of Gerry Anderson's Dark Show about Earth Slow Invasion by the Alien race the Mysterions, who's lights can resurrect the dead into Sleeper Agents. But they created a Rod for their own back when trying to convert our hero, They made an Indestructible Agent. Far better than Thunderbirds ever was.
In 2005, however, Gerry Anderson was quoted to say he was Angry that Itv didn't Push his Show more. Granted any show that was on the Saturday Morning show was going to be seen by half the population, but this was not the era of SMTV, this was the show that would kill the Magazine show, the much Despised Ministry of Mayhem, So not only did you have to watch THIS PRICK!...
But THIS PRICK! Dressed as Captain Scarlett groping The WilloughBoobie, Dressed as a Silver Angel.
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| "KID'S SHOW!" |
The show would appear as Part of the Channel, but for reasons I will get into in the paragraph for next year, the damage was done!
Planet Sketch.
We found a big Horse Dropping in Aardman's Stable, and it's not Chop Socky Chucks!
ITS WORSE!
You know what your in for when the Title Screen is picked from a nose like a snot! And the rest of the Show is Fart Jokes or Casual Sexism!
Tricky TV!
Did you know! That THIS PRICK!
IS A MAGICAN?
I KNOW, HE KEPT THAT A SECRET!
Birthday Party Magic from Mulhern the Man-Bitch!
He has a whole garage full unsold magic kits!
2006
And the Channel is launched. And Citv's Block on itv, the Weekend Shows on GMTV, And the Saturday Show were all under the Citv banner. But costs had to cut. First the GMTV show Toonattick had its show cancelled, after Disney decided to cut ties with ITV. Then after low Ratings, Not only was Ministry of Mayhem Cancelled, the Timeslot will never see Magazine Show on Mainline ITV ever Again; With CBBC and S4C still doing theirs on their sky channels. From 6am to 6pm. With the Exception of the pre-recorded Character monologue on what ever the hell Action Stations was Supposed to be, the Show had no presenters, just played the shows on time after 10 minutes of Advertising on each side, because without Presenters pushing phone-in Competitions, CITV had to make money somehow, and as you'll see, In the Coming years The ratio of Homemade shows will diminish greatly by decades end. And while you would think not having Presenters would make me happy, the Difference was the Idents from 1993 to 97, were interactive and caught Attention. They had facts and Character Profiles to make you ready for the next Program, now it was Radio Silence, like an Angry Parent throwing a Sandwich and to say "You'll eat this and like it!" It felt Cold. While the Idents in The 90s felt like a different world. 2006's Ident choose to be a box. But what of the Shows?
Bel's Boys
The one and only time, ITV picks up a Ulster show, and they probably went and told them "No Politics, No Culture, and Don't make us piss away money we don't have on Subtitles!" So Bel's Boys are a Band who is shot down by a big Music Manager, but his Daughter, Bel, Sees Something that her father doesn't. It's ok! This came From a time where Itv and BBC were trying to One-up each other. BBC did it better with Custer's Last Stand-up! As the first of their 3 kids show from Ireland!
Beanbag things that lived at the end of the Rainbow. Not winning any Oscars with its CGI, but show seems Harmless Enough.
Now, Long time readers will know or even started reading my reviews after my Review of the Horrid Henry Movie, Adapted From Francesca Young's Pulp Fiction Sold at the petrol station.
And this Adaption is just as Annoying! Complete with all the Posh Pronunciations, Alliterative names of Adjective of One note trait/Middle England name and Do Nothing Parents who would still scold Henry in episodes. Even when he's the right!
Jim Jam and Sunny
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| "COME PLAY WITH US....FOREVER....AND EVER!!!!!!" |
HOW COULD ITV MAKE THIS AND THINK LITTLE BABIES WOULDN'T BE FRIGHTENED BY THIS?
2007
My Hero Academia With a Budget. Henry Normal is the new Student at Superhero high, except for one thing he had no powers but with Will, Determination and Some Forward Planning, He and his Team, Save the day usually from the Similarly Under powered Mr Bad! What sinks this Show is that at this point, Citv have been importing Cheap shows at a loss and Repeating it's Back Catalogue of shows whenever a 3rd Party Franchise rubs it's Course. And now whenever a Cartoon Network show finishes it's Current Run before CN can supply new episodes after they are done with them, they replace it with 3 Similar Looking Corus Shows! I've said enough about Canada's Cheaply Made Fart Jokes! But Spoilers on Part 5! All of Citv's shows before Shutdown were Cheaply Made Fart Jokes! And Even ITV had this Show Stoop to that Level.
2 Hyena ask Medical And Biology Questions Puppets to Child Actors in a Fake Gameshow, because no prizes are ever mentioned apart from not Getting Eaten!
2008
A very Limited Cast of Actors (To the Point one actor per Episode Has to Play the episode's Villain and then a Citizen in the next scene!) In the last original Pre school show ever made by Itv. It tries to teach kids that noone is bad as long as you Forgive them, But Personally, I think that's A Terrible thing to teach them! While telling kids that bad people are Irredeemable is just as bad, Telling them everything is okay as long as you say you're Sorry, Given that name-calling never came up as a Topic, is kind of irresponsible!
5 teenagers, 3 of them Aliens save Earth from Dorks, Aliens who might as well treat being assholes in public like it's their culture's religion!
Trying too hard be Totally Spies with a British Accent, The Character of Jen, the pink haired one was there to be fanservice and to be the damsel in distress.
Now I want to see a Death Battle between Jen from this Show, against Aelita from Code Lyoko and Cheza From Wolf's Rain for the crown of Useless Pink haired Waifu!
And if not, WHY NOT? BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS AWESOME FOR AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE!
2009
Yes you read that right! ONE NEW SHOW! and it wasn't even A New Show! The English Dub of S4C's Beloved Welsh Fireman was briefly done by ITV before Channel 5 bought the Rights. As for the Show it's the Transition from Stop Motion to 3D for the Show Teaching kids Safety, usually rescuing the instigator for attention, Norman Price!
And that's were we leave it for another Decade, next time, Amidst the never Ending Advertisements, repeats and Corus' Crap. Shows were still being Homegrown! For wait it was worth!
We slide ever closer to Closing when we review the 2010s!
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