This November, CITV will celebrate its 40th Anniversary....By Closing down and being replaced by the ITVX kids App, for the first time since the launch of ITV, there will no kids programming on the mainland ITV. A block of kid's shows is on ITV2, but doesn't look like anything new will be shown for free.
So for the next 5 weeks, in series of posts worked on from August of this year, we celebrate 40 years of Broom Closets, Buckets of Gunge and Brevity.
We will be Traversing Fun Houses, Potamus Parks and Everywhere else in between with shows that made us laugh, Learn ,Cry and became Fetish and nightmare Fuel Years later.
A Few Caveats. We are only looking at Citv's Homegrown Original Programming, Anything that was Made in Conjunction with another country, had to be have being also made in Britain, Otherwise this i'll go until CITV would have turned 50! Also I'm also covering Shows that were shown prior to the launch of its Channel, Shows that were on the Monday to Friday, 3:20 to 5:00 block. No Saturday Morning shows, none from GMTV and no shows from LittleBe as they were, and are treated as Separate entities, though if Shows did appear in the block then they are fair Game! Also shows that were being Syndicated not repeated during 1983 also have a place here!
And For Obvious reasons, Shows presented By Rolf Harris, Fred Talbot and others who were outed as Paedophiles will not be mentioned!
So let's Turn the time machine back to 1983.
A gentle Show that was very imaginative despite its Sets and Puppets created with Household items. It was part of Nick Junior UK classics at Nite block in 2006, As are Others on this list
A Delightful Stop Motion about the Adventures of Rosie and Robin Cockle, a pair Of Fraternal Twins who moved to the Eponymous Seaside town when their Parents open a guesthouse. The Narrator does all the voices as is the style of these shows.
Recently gaining a Reboot with A Big All Star Cast, it was David Jason who voiced the Rodent Spy, along with his bespectacled and Beleaguered coward Mole sidekick Penfold, faced the evil of Baron Greenback.
The Remake is Just as Good, though I preferred Count Duckula as a boy, I hated they made him a villain!
A Drama anthology for Kids which had a different pilot each week. The only 2 to come out of it were Press Gang and The show that became Children's ward, more on them later.
The Marmalade Atkins Series
Sadly only a 3 minute sketch is all that remains on YouTube of 3 series of the Rude Bumbling Girl. You see a lot of Citv's shows have become lost media, I'm afraid.
Emu
The Creation of Comedian Rod Hull, He and Emu were Staples of The Chat Show Circuit for years in Britain. With every Presenter since the 60s have being attacked by Emu. Sadly Hull would Commit Suicide in 2000, after years of Drink and Financial Ruin. Emu is now manned by Toby Hull, Rod's Nephew.
Free Time
The First Magazine show for The Programme. With a band and Various items on things to do and hobbies, as well as behind the scenes of other shows.
Let's Pretend.
A Preschool show that Encourages Imagination and dress up for young kids.
A Stop Motion animation about a Moschop Dinosaur and his friends. As they explore the world around them.
A live action Show where a Ragdoll who lives with a Dressmaker, have Adventures which uses Dutch Angles to hide any Puppeteers.
The First but definitely not last Music Show on the Block.
One of the Biggest shows on itv, that had being remade, and Revised many times. Geoffrey Hayes was friends with Zippy, George the Hippo, and Bungle the Bear, there was a bit of controversy with this show as there was 3 musicians that sang were made of a Married Couple and A Man, Who the wife had an affair with.
Rod, Jane and Freddy on 50 Ways To Leave Your TV Lover - YouTube
The Show was retooled into Rainbow days with a New Presenter in the 90s and Simply Rainbow without Geoffrey later
Fairy tales from Mainland Europe were narrated over actors miming in period costumes. Each episode was in a different country each week with local actors so this was a Big Production.
Gerry Anderson's Uncanny Nightmare Fuel, about the Earth Defence Council's fight against Magical Space Witches.
From the Creators of Postman Pat, comes The Adventures of Portland Bill, a Lighthouse Keeper that helps his friends all named after areas in the British Shipping Forecast or trying to stave off boredom as best he can.
Hosted by A revolving door of presenters including Tom Baker, the Book tower was a show celebrating books in all forms. They even interviewed Steve Jackson and Colin Livingstone, the creators of the Fighting fantasy Gamebooks.
1984.
With a Base of shows from home and Abroad, the first full year would see a few new shows.
A Concerned Father Feels his 12 year old son is too old to have an imaginary friend, only to learn "Chocky" is an invisible Alien sent to Spy on Humanity. It's rumoured that Stephen Spielberg is going to adapt it into a film.
How Dare You.
Bill Oddie leads a shows with Sketches, skits in front of an audience, and Animations that look too much like those from Python.
The misadventures of a Selfish posh voiced cat with janky Animation.
Puppet Program with a theme song that sounds like an analogue horror.
Folk Singer Ralph McTell, Fresh off his Channel 4 show Alphabet Zoo, hosts a show based around songs and rhymes in the context of a Village shop and post office.
A Precursor to Knightmare, Another Future Doctor who, Sylvester McCoy, plays Wart, the Toady to the Starstrider, An Ineffectual Galactic Despot. This gameshow was hi-tech for the time, 3 teams of 3 had 2 members aid their captains via reference books and walkie talkies, while the end game saw one playing a game on the Commodore. Bless!
1985, the year of my Birth so from know on, provided they were repeated, shows are going to be memories rather than descriptions!
Voiced by Peter "Wallace/Norman Clegg" Sallis, Alias is a Super powered Alien who crashes onto a Medieval planet ruled by one King Arfur. Who is down a Jester and a Knight. Which The alien plays the Double role of.
The Animation Surprisingly holds up after all these years!
Bertha
Fireman Sam wanted kids to be firefighters, Postman Pat wanted kids to be postmen, But in all of Hit Animations' Stop Motion romps, Bertha Romanced Factory Floors with a do anything Assembly line called Bertha.
One of the Many Pure "Y'Know For Kids!" Shows that follows a Conniving Orphan that had issues Of teen Pregnancy, parental Abandonment, and Spousal Abuse!
Billed as "a Comedy"!
With a Theme song sang by Billy Connolly, Supergran went from Frail Crone to Superhuman Septogenerian (The Actress was only 59 at the time!) After she was accidentally blasted by a laser from the villains. A lot of Well known Scottish Actors in this show.
Narrated by Blackadder's Tony Robinson, Tony acts out, usually hurting himself, the Misadventures of a lazy Gardener.
One of the first Big Series that lasted years, T-Bag, intended to be a preschool show, but that didn't happen, T-Bag was a witch how tries to invade worlds for Magic and power only to be thwarted by a different child in each series.
Has a TV Tropes Page!
An animated Interactive Gameshow. The games are various levels for each age group.
Voiced by yet another Doctor Who, this time Jon Pertwee, the Adventures of an alien only children can see. Limited Animation is only saved by good narration and Story.
A Sketch Show that parodied the top shows at the time, like Challenge Anneka and Grange Hill, more on that later!
1986
An Inventor Solves Problem caused by the Malaise and Depression caused by the people he was asked to help in the first place.
C.A.B.
"C.A.B. is the Callsign for Agent John Clearwater, as the youngest Agent for MI5, I must remind you all is not what it seems!"
A Spy drama for kids where the Hero must not only contend with Enemies of the State, but Jobsworth Truancy Officers!
A Canadian British production, and proof one time Canada could write and draw cartoons without being a Fart Joke! Dracula Junior aka Little D (PAUSE!) has come of age, but she doesn't want to suck blood he wants to explore Transylvania. Animation holds up, Sound quality not so much!
The Villainous Bullion Byte and his Mind Control Video game Angel Brain has Enthralled the Children of London with mind control. There is one thing that can stop them. The Telebugs, 3 monitor headed robots.
I forgot this show existed, I was only 1 at the time, but seeing the Title sequence rattled something in there!
Janky Animation that put more into paying Frankie Howard to read the Script than anything of Quality!
Repeated years later on The Teen Centric Trouble of all places, Trap Door follows Berk, a blue Mawla (read if not Irish: Plasticine) blob who is the general dogsbody to detached Voice of the lord to a Gothic Castle. The Eponymous Trap Door Opens at the Worse time and complicates the Problem of the Week before it's solved! Usually by just tricking the creature back below. Had a very catchy outro!
1987
All-sorts.
A Preschool Sitcom is how I would describe the adventures of Jiffy, JJ And Bonzo.
The Sarcastic Box is my Spirit Animal!
Returned in The 90s as Gigglish All-sorts.
You definitely have seen Spoony Chimed happily about this Show. So I won't say anything you don't know, but I will saw this much.
Good God, Real Talk though, some of the teams we had on this show were Thick! Knightmare's What An Idiot Page on TV Tropes is more than half a screen long!
A Puppet show using hand puppets.
An Odd very British Ripoff of The Smurfs, with a Strangely Melonchonic Theme Song.
Created by the Daughter of Spike Milligan, and Narrated by Him, the Adventures of A family of rats was Mostly Ad libbed, with Spike adding insults to any Comedian who owed him money. Like any child would understand who Jimmy Tarbuck or Harry Seacombe was!
Abandoned Shoes gain Sentience via magic and a live in a village. Was Translated into Irish which is the Animation Kiss Of Death!
Lazy Design.
Not only Barely Animated but the most of the Characters had the same Model.
1988
Jim Henson's Mother Goose Stories.
Mother Goose Teaches her Goslings the Stories behind the seemingly nonsense lyrics of Nursery Rhymes, which are them shown in a different scene with Puppets and a child actor. The Stories are completely original. Though given that Humpty Dumpty is about a Cannon, Ring around the Rosie's is about The plague, and Jack and Jill is about Losing Virginity, Probably for the best!
I loved this show when I was 3! Didn't understand a bloody thing because I was three! But Count Duckula also Played by David Jason was the Vegetarian Duck whose encounters with the outside is usually ruined by his Butler Igor and his Malapropism spewing Nanny!
Mr Majeika
"Do you know what happens to Wizards who are terrible at Magic, Mr Majeika?"
"They Teach!"
And thus is the Punishment of Mr Majeika, (Stanley Baxter) banished from his kingdom to become a teacher in an uptight 1930s Village. Loads of laughs in this show.
Palace Hill
A Sketch from Your Mother wouldn't like It. That became it's own Show on the parody of BBC's Grange Hill!
Try-hard Environmental cartoon!
Windfalls.
Windfalls are Creatures from blown leaves in a show using a Collage art style so it's unique so far!
It's a preschool show teaching kids about nature!
A series that last til the 2000s despite its one trick pony premise. A boy is cursed to turn into a dog at involuntary times, only for the Audience know in advance due to Eric itching and a Violin Sting. Before Eric becomes a Shaggy Terrier and a Pile of Clothes. Usually Adventures involved crawling into spaces a human can't and "Borrowing" clothes before the dog becomes a Naked Boy, usually those who knew didn't arrive with their Clothes for a joke. Not you would see anything beyond an angry head out of some bushes!
Ain't no way a show like that, would be made today!
1989
The Decade of the 80's was at an end, but with the First new full decade at hand, Citv is about to explode as this was the Year two live action shows will be launched. A Drama in the North Of England and a Game show filmed in Scotland. I wonder if anyone at the time knew how big these shows were going to be.
Set in a Hospital ward in the city of Manchester. Children's Ward would become the show for Citv to talk about serious issues, Far better than the Caricature of school life over on Grange Hill on the BBC. Children Ward was so much of a influence, others followed suit. And being in a Hospital setting, you could easily discuss abuse, peer pressure, Drink, Drugs, Teen Pregnancy, Suicide and Racism in the Context of a Busy Hospital. Many of the Uk's Most Well known Soap actors cut their teeth on Children's ward.
But there is another show one that surpassed it by one year. And One that was will bring back memories with just a few notes of this theme song!
(1) Fun House Theme Intro - YouTube
Friday Evenings For 9 months of the year it was Fun House or Nothing! Anything on the Summer months Didn't hold a candle to the Show hosted by DJ and Comedian Pat Sharpe aided by The Twin Cheerleaders, Melanie and Martina Grant
I have previously spoke about the show years ago on my Starter for Ten Theme month on Game Shows
The Premise was Simple.
Two teams of two, a boy and a Girl aged 10 to 13, Play to gain points to be the team that enters the Fun House.
The First Is a one on one of one gender where the contestants gather as many items whilst being covered in Gunge as possible. With a general Knowledge question pertaining to the Game theme following afterwards.
Round 2 was the same with the opposite gender. Followed by a 2 on 2. Then the round that every child wanted to do more than the Fun House itself the Go Kart relay race to decide the final.
Finally the Fun House. 15 obstacles that could not be done in one go, so tagging your partner to take another path to collect all the Tags for different prizes was the way to go. And if you heard the cock crowing that meant you were in the running for the All or nothing Final Question risk all your prizes for A Big Prize usually a trip to Disneyland Paris!
Sharp would bring up years later on I love the 90s that the Show must have had one hell of a Budget because none of the Gunge Filled Games used the same Props and the Fun House would change every season too. In the End the Budget is what ended Fun House in 2001, Despite being it's biggest show, Citv would focus into third party cartoons for toys and Corus Animations Badly Drawn Fart Jokes!
A Stop Motion Pig with a love of Dress Up Imagines his life as the things he dresses as.
Ughhhhhh!
This Show infuriated me. It was one of those shows that was Bad, obviously Bad, but if it wasn't the thing that was directly Infront Of Fun House on Citv or The Simpsons on RTE you had to watch the adventures of A Juggling Adult Alien and his Petulant "American" Human Friend named Mike. The Adventures usually revolved around an Invention that usually put Mike In a Situation where his nose is Bigger than usual or turn invisible on the day the his parents visit or travels in time, Despite his protests.
This crap went on for nearly 10 years!
A Live action Show that pushed the Envelope on what a Kids Show should say or Do, As long as a Moral is told by the end of the episode. The story of the Rivalry and obvious Sexual Tension between two Junior reporters. The Uptight Lynda Day (Julia Swadia,) and Fake American Spike Jackson (played by Dexter Fletcher) who headed the Junior Gazette a Youth Newspaper which was created to keep "Problem Children" Out of Trouble, But More often than not the Gazette got themselves INTO trouble, usually with Stories on Glue Sniffers and Shady Politicians. All in a Sharp Script written by Future and Former Doctor Who show runner, Stephen Moffatt.
Famous for its Cliffhanger Ending, where a Gunman storms the Gazette and Burns it's to the Ground with Lynda Inside. That night Spike is in Bed when he is Visited by the Ghost Of Lynda, who claims that she is very much alive, despite Evidence of the Contrary. Spike goes to kiss her to see if she is alive, only for the screen to fade the black before the kiss happens leading us to draw our own conclusions!
Typical Fucking Moffatt!
The Wind in the Willows.
A Charming Stop Motion Based on the Classic. The premise of this version would become the basis of the live action With Matt Lucas as Toad!
Marjorie Dawes (Summer Wine Actress, Victoria Adams) lives on Riddleton Lane, Home to these Humanoid Puppets, Trolls who tell Riddles and Give Advice by "Riddling out" Morals of Stories.
Was Retooled somewhat to be more about the Riddlers going to places in the South Coast and West Country to learn about the outside world.
Doc Croc, the Mean Editor of a Comic Publisher in the Sewers welcomes you to his "Electronic Comic Book" Filled with Parodies of The Top Cartoons at the time. Holds up after all these years!
And that does it For the 80s.
Next Week CITV goes through its first decade. BBC and ITV go through a ratings war, Removes Presenters for its own identity, only to bring the most annoying prat into existence!
BY THE WAY! Most of the shows can be found on Youtube if you feel like watching them yourself!
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