Ghostbusters 3 was a Unmitigated Failure.
And you know this... Man! - Chris Tucker (Friday) - YouTube
A Forgettable Plot, A Villain whose Intentions were completely buried by Bad Line Delivery and Cringeworthy Dialogue- The All Female Team Reboot was Dead in the Water before it even started.
But the one Thing that Stood out in my mind on A Meta Standpoint was Bringing Back the Surviving Cast Members, Bill Murray, Ernie Hudson and Dan Ackroyd to play various Assholes to the New Cast. This Sent a Message Subliminally to the Audience, That this Film was Shit, And you know it's Shit!
If they Didn't have Mayor Murray tells us "Women Can't be Ghostbusters!" In Universe, it felt like all the Anti Woke Trolls watching the film, felt Justified that their ignored Warcries of "WAMAN NO CAN BE GOHSTBUSTAHS!" was Proven right, by the stars of the Franchise no less!
So Years later Ivan Raitman and his Son Jason Decided to Make Another Sequel, one that should have done what 3 should have at the very beginning, and not Address it in a Blink and you'll Miss it Easter egg.
And that was Pay Tribute to the late Harold Ramis.
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| A whole lot Better than This, to be sure! |
So let's get to the Halloween Special-Time to Load up the Proton Packs and Cross the Streams, This is Ghostbusters Afterlife!
The Extended Spengler Family are Standing Around a Rusted and Worse-For-Wear Ecto-1, Parked in a Cornfield, As a Storm of Green Spirit Energy like those before loom over them. But Everyone is not Confident like the Ghostbusters of long past, in fact, The opposite- Everyone of our new Heroes and Allies are Frightened and Unsure, given the State of Disrepair of Their Grandfather's Equipment.
The Film Starts with a Thunderstorm. Lightning Strikes a Pyramid, which shoots a Lazer into the Sky.
Oh my God! The Goa'uld Have Invaded Earth Again! Quick Someone call SG-1!
Wait a Minute!....
Stargate and Ghostbusters belong to Columbia/Sony
WHY HAVEN'T WE GOT A STARGATE AND GHOSTBUSTERS CROSSOVER YET?
This Pyramid Had Appeared In Shandor Mining Company's Grounds as Ecto-1 bursts from its Gates. And wakes the dead underneath. This is Egon Spengler, who's face is shown in Shadow the entire time, Who had relocated here to Oklahoma as a recluse, who had recovered something supernatural. However, His gear and Technology fail him as he is Killed by a Familiar Foe,
Zull, MotherF...!
In New York, Egon's Family, A Daughter, Callie (Carrie Coon) with a Son and a Daughter of her own Have just being evicted, but learn of Egon's passing and he left his farmhouse in the country to them. And so the Spengler's Road trip to Summerville, Oklahoma! The Armpit of nowhere!
Driving to Egon's home, we see Sheet Metal and Pallets Covered in Quotes from the Book of Revelations. Phoebe, (Grace McKenna) Having Inherited her Grandfather's Aptitude For Machinery, Picks The lock to get in. The House is seemingly Built on a Fault line, so when an Earthquake happens, the Spenglers hide under a table, where Phoebe spots the PKE Reader under an armchair, which Egon dropped when Zull killed him, after the Tremor Passes. The sole Executor of the estate, Janine (Annie Potts) meets the Family as tells them that Egon left a lot of Debt before he died, given the House is right on a Fault line, the house is Dahm near Unsellable.
That Night, The Spenglers Get Food from the only Place in town that probably doesn't sell Alcohol, A Drive Thru, Where the Son, Trevor, (Finn Wolfard) Falls so Hard for a Waitress, He Applies for work there!
That Night Phoebe is Haunted, a chess board is knocked over. She Puts all the pieces in place but Moves a white pawn Forward! Trevor in a Shed Finds Ecto-1 but his flashlight runs out at the last second! A Very Effective Tease!
It's Now the Summer Months So Phoebe's has missed a lot of Attendance Moving West from NYC, So she has to talk Summer Classes. I say "Classes". It's Just YER MAN from Buffy Playing a VHS of Kujo, while he Works in the next room. Phoebe Gets the Attention of A Young Film Director who calls himself "Podcast".
In a Hardware Store, Mom Is Buying Paints and Brushes to make Egon's Hovel at least Bearable, But she is slowly learning that her Father "Dirtfarmer" Kept to himself and Ordered Quote "A lot of Strange Shit" from the Hardware Store!
Back At School Another Tremor Causes Phoebe to be the only child that Acts! And Sees in the Next Room Mr Colin Gruberman (Rudd) Studying a Seismograph. Mr Gruberman is Confused that The Readings are Neither Tectonic Or Volcanic-It's Almost like That Something is Exploding!
Phoebe and Podcast Become Friends, Revealing He's a Conspiracy Theorist who believes in Ghosts, while The girl Does Not. To Convince her Otherwise, The Boy Brings her to Shandor Mining Company, This Town was once a Selenium Ore Mining town (HMMMMMM) Who use to Provide Girders to New York Buildings (HHHHHHHMMMMMM!!!!!!) But one by one The miners Committed Suicide by jumping into Mining Shafts!
In a Cliff Wall there are Carvings of A floating Pyramid and 2 Dog like Figures! Its a little Familiar!
Trevor Finds Ecto-1 that day. When Phoebe returns to Dirt Farm, she finds a Chess Piece Had being Moved, and it wasn't A random Piece It was a Proper Chess Gambit. The PKE meter goes crazy as her Door opens by itself going into the Living room as the Meter Gets louder she finds in the floorboards a tile puzzle which Reveals a Ghost-trap!
At School the next Morning, Podcast attempts to Open it with a Crowbar. Mr Gruberman sees it, And knows what it is. In fact, at first he called it a "Replica", Until it started to smoke and spark. It's the real Deal! So the Lazy Teacher had to teach History the only way he knows how-YOUTUBE!
But after having to wait through Unskippable Ads for a Fake Mobile game and A Failed Child Actor Selling Bullshitcoin!
Wiring it up to Bus Car Batteries, Mr Gruberman opens the trap, and after a fake tease, Zuul Roars out and returns to the Carvings in the Mine.
Mrs Spengler and Colin seem to like each other. Podcast Finds Egon's Copy of Tobin's Spirit Guide and Reads a Paragraph about-What else-The Sumarian Death Cult, The Gatekeeper, The Keymaster and Gozer!
Meanwhile all the Stupid Teens in Town Go to Throw rocks at Abandoned Machinery because they're Bored. Sitting in a wooden lift over a Mine Shaft, Trevor and the Girl he likes make Small Talk Until A Zuul explodes Up the mine Shaft like a Pillar of Fire!
Inside the Farmhouse, Gruberman Finds an Ancient Map Written in Mesopotamian. It's 1000s of years old, But he knows what it is- But it's a map of Summerville.
Outside Phoebe is using the PKE Meter to explore the Grounds. In an Outbuilding, she finds a Fireman's Pole. She slides down it and into a Cavern below. So that was his Secret!
Egon was Batman!
No it's a Second lab covering in Machinery and Samples. In a locker, Phoebe finds 4 Jumpsuits and inside Egon's Pockets, A Spare pair of Glasses and a Half Eaten Nestle Crunch Par.
FORESHADOWING!
Egon's Spirit has Brought Phoebe here to fix his Proton Pack. Before Bed, Phoebe is told by Mom, she is going on a date with Garry Gruberman.
I thought his name was Colin!
GREAT CONTINUITY!
The next day Podcast Arranges a Tin can alley in a vacant lot to test the Proton Pack. She Destroys it!
But it gets the Attention of Something that makes a Noise In an Abandoned Factory. Squealing and Munching are heard and There are Puddles of Ectoplasm everywhere. If you thought it was Slimer, you are wrong!
Actually it's a New Mascot, This one is made to look both Cutesy and Sympathetic, So "Muncher" Escapes because the Equipment is Busted.
Trevor Fixes Ecto-1 and Goes on a Joyride. From Seeing his Sister and her Friend they hitch a ride to give chase to the Ghost!
As the Kids Discover the Ecto-1 is tuned to the Police Radio Frequency, Muncher heads to the Safety of the Mountains. One Fun and Exciting Chase Scene which sees parts of Town destroyed by Fission Energy. They catch him in a RC car with a trap built into it, But it's a Short lived thrill when they see that the Mountain they are at is the Mine where the Carving was Found. To make matters Worse, The Kids are Arrested for their Joyride and Destruction.
In the Sheriff's office, Trevor Tells the Others what happened to him on that Mountain last night. However he claims he heard the Fire say "GOZER"! It turns out Trevor's Crush who is still not named yet , is the Sheriff's Daughter. Phoebe wants her one phonecall and the Sheriff asks her THAT! question.
HE SAID THE THING! MA, GET THE CAMERA! HE SAID THE THING!
So Phoebe Calls a Number in New York, It now belongs to A Bar belonging to Raymond Stanz (Ackroyd) Ray goes to hang up when Phoebe mentions Egon, until she tells him about her Grandad's passing.
So in the last 40 years, The Ghostbusters did their Job too well, soon there was barely any Paranormal Activity in New York. Without Cases, there was no more money, Peter Venkman went back to Teaching and later Works for Sony Teaching their Sales Reps. Winston Joined Wall Street. But Stanz and Spengler Kept Going, Until Egon became a Bible Nut and stole Ecto-1 and all Their Equipment and Moved to Oklahoma on a whim.
Mom, her date now ruined, Signs out Her kids and Podcast too, I Suppose. Phoebe Tries to warn the Police, But once again Noone Believes in ghosts. So Phoebe aims the Proton Pack at the Sheriff, But all that does is have the Police Confiscate the Equipment.
After Callie brings Her children home, Phoebe Confronts Mom about not telling her about who her Grandfather was, But Callie's Upset that Egon would abandon his Friends, his Colleagues, even his Newborn Daughter for a town Noone Cares About! Back in the mine, the Partition falls to reveal the Carvings, the Seal Breaks and it released one of the Demon Dogs and it hunts Garry in a Walmart. But it's is not the only OG Ghost here in the Candy Section bags of StayPuft Marshmallows start to Shake and the Sweets Transform into Miniature Marshmallow Men.
The Marshmallow Minis are a Mix of Cute and Homicidal. I dig it!
Gruberman being a Fanboy knows the Implications so backs up Into Zuul, or is it Nils? Either way Gruberman legs it, But the Creature catches him, no doubt to Possess him.
The Kids Are in What's Left of the Diner With the Map. The Have Uncovered what the Original Ghostbusters did all those years ago! The Mine Belonged to the Architect, Ivo Shandor who used Selenium Girders to built The Apartment Building to Summon Gozer in New York. But this Mine was in fact A Ground Zero for Gozer Worship In America.
So there is no other choice but to investigate the Carvings.
At the Very Bottom of the Shaft is a Ritual Site with Giant Gozer and Zuul Statues surrounding a Death Pit. Podcast finds a Glass Coffin and inside the preserved Body of Ivo Shandor. Phoebe finds a wall of years with one thing In common- Explosions. (Namely, 1883, Krakotoa, 1908, The Tungaska Incident, 1945, Hiroshima, 1984, Gozer's First Attack and now the Current Year of 2021.)
Only for Disturbing Noises to Come from the Death Pit.
From Flames, An Ashen and Incorporeal Gozer tries to rise from the pit, while Shandor Stirs in his Coffin and looks Straight at Podcast, When Suddenly 4 Hidden Proton Blasters Strike The Destructor. Causing Shandor's Body to cease moving.
Phoebe comes to the sad Conclusion that Egon knew about Gozer's Return and Noone Believed him, so Stood Vigilant Until the End.
Mom Finds Egon's Secret Lab and all the Photos of her over the years. But it makes her an easy prey for Zuul. When the Children Return Zuul had Possessed Callie And she asks people of they are the Keymaster?
Speaking of Keymaster, Nils uses Garry's Body to destroy the Hidden Proton Blasters, so his master can return, Causing Tectonic Shifts that brings a Pyramid to the Surface.
Entering the Jail to Collect their Impounded equipment and Ecto-1. Podcast frees Muncher from the RC Trap to eat the Bars their Equipment were trapped behind. The dead Rise again. Even if all we see is a single Zombie Miner. Gozer and Ivo Shandor are Resurrected, With Shandor Mistakenly thinking The Goddess will share in her rule, only for her to rend the Zealot in half.
Well she was not in two minds about it, but you are!
So let's finish this.
Phoebe uses herself as a Distraction while Podcast plans to to use the RC Trap to free Mom from Zuul, Given 30 years ago not stopping Dana and Lewis' possessions led to Gozer. Zuul is trapped and Turns back into Mom, Causing Gozer to lose Physical form, but the invasion still Happens as Nils Chases Ecto-1 to Dirt Farm. In the last scene Phoebe uncovered the Entire farm is one large Containment Unit laden with hundreds of traps. Gozer is lured and attacks Trevor But Lucky pushes him out of the way, But gets turned into Zuul as Gozer regains her body.
Oh look they finally said her name on screen! And it's the most Ironic name ever!
It seems all is lost, but then the Calvary have arrived, the Original Ghostbusters, they cross the Streams, But it's not enough. Even Phoebe in her own gives it a try, But she's Not Alone, next to her Egon's Spirit is now Visible. She Blows Gozer back, Podcast and Trevor, who's Equipment was sabotaged by Marshmallow Minis, Re-enter the Fight and blasts Gozer. Mom presses the Pedal on the Porch and hundreds of traps seal all the Energy for good. Lucky and Garry break out of Statues. Ray reveals he is Podcast's only subscriber and before passing on, Egon says his goodbyes to Callie, Phoebe and Trevor, as the screen fades to black with a single line of Text "For Harold". Before closing with the theme Song of course!
But we do get a Post Credit Stinger-Peter is still in love with Dana (Sigourny Weaver) and is Trying to impress her with his Psychic Test with him hooked up to A Shock Device, only for Dana to learn the cards are marked, earning him a few Shocks!
THIS FILM IS FANTASTIC! BOTH A WORTHY SEQUEL AND APOLOGY THR FANS DESERVE!
On the British Cover, there is a Blurb from IGN "Get Ready to fall in love with the Ghostbusters all over again!" And that is not an Empty claim.
Everything they did wrong in 3, they Redeemed in Afterlife. In fact they did it better. The Original Ghostbusters Film, while a Classic, it Failed to have any real Character development, with the exception of Peter. Ray had Childlike Enthusiasm, Egon was the smart guy with the droning voice and Winston was just the Man off the Streets looking for a Job! This time we have Fleshed out Characters, and look at that, we have a Female Ghostbuster, and her story is more than just "Girl-Peter, Girl-Ray, Girl-Egon and Their Random person from the Street!"
I love all the little call backs to the original Film, Selenium Girders, A plot around Ivo Shandor, Incidental Music, A Twinkie in the Glove box. All combined with nods to the film, like Ray answering yes to when Gozer asks him of he is a God!, To Callie's Actresses, Carrie Coon, wearing a Similar (But less revealing) Metallic Dress, Sigourney Weaver wore when she was Possessed, Muncher and The Mini Marshmallow Men being new spins on the classics. Making this a Joy for new and old fans alike!
And the Finale! I've not seen a more Satisfying Finish since last night in Soho! The Original Ghostbusters have a Big Dahm Heroes Moment but instead of Burying the New Cast, their own efforts are not enough, Even Crossing the Streams, the Thing that defeated Gozer the First time, didn't do Squat! It was only the Combined Effort of everyone that saved the day!
Also in a Fitting Tribute, They used Harold Ramis' likeness and not his voice as a spirit. And the last scene was a Sombre goodbye to Egon and a long silence before the theme Song.
With its Tongue Back Finally in Cheek, and it's script going back to brass tacks, Ghostbusters Afterlife finally sees the Franchise Arrive into the 21st Century.
CREDITS
Ghostbusters Afterlife was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Media from:
Ghostbusters Afterlife
Ghostbusters 1
Ghostbusters 3
Friday
Ghostbusters Afterlife is Produced By Columbia. And is Distributed by Sony!
All Rights Reserved, all media used belong to their respective owners!
NEXT TIME ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!....
November would have being the Birthday of the now Defunct CITV so instead of a film, for the next Five posts, I will be remembering all the home grown shows from 40 years of ITV's Children's Brand. From its humble origins of A 2 hour block to becoming a Channel in the 00s, to it's figurative doors being closed permanently. In my five parter, Goodbye, CITV, Starting with the 80's Tomorrow.
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