Wednesday, October 9, 2019

I WISH I COULD FORGET FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL....

Remember when Russel Brand was A Thing?

You Know, the Former Vapid Pondscum from Big Bugger, the sometimes Comedian, definite sexpest who use to bump the uglies with the Equally Vapid Fake Feminist Katy Perry As a Meal ticket to Penetrate America Like his many Page 3 slags! Long story short, Katy Ditched Brand and Neither side of the Atlantic could give a Monkey's!

And today, of all the talentless actors that have graced BBO for nearly 12 years, I finally Hang Russel Brand's Potrait new to Gervais, Sandler and Grant in my Rouge's Gallery

The Cover is...Well it's Effective!
Image result for forgetting sarah marshall dvd
A disheveled Jason Segel is on A Beach sadly holding a crumbled picture of Brand and Kirsten Bell in an embrace. Over his head a heartshaped cloud and a jetstream makes a cupid's arrow through the heart. The dvd claims that we have the option of seeing an extended version, but we only care about what was expressed to cinema goers, unless they pull another Ella Enchanted on us and conspired to make the real ending a dvd extra!

We Open to a Shirtless Segel eating children's cereal and watching access hollywood about...himself! This is Peter Bretter, a small time composer who works backstage in a show headed by his girlfriend Sarah Marshall (Kirsten Bell). On the same show A song by The band Infinite Sorrow, headed by Alvis Snow (Brand) Think Bono, But A Bigger Wanker, because his actor is a Real-Life Wanker!

Sarah calls Peter and Peter Lazily cleans his flat and changes into a towel, When Sarah breaks with him we see Segal naked and crying (If i decided to watch the extended version all the male nudity would what the scenes extended!)

After Bleaching my Eyeballs, Peter goes on a Downward Spiral of One night Stands and Career Suicide, Eventually his brother has to stop him from commiting Arson, so he tells him to go on Holiday and sort his shit out!

He arrives in Hawaii and he is checked in and checked out by a receptionist played by Mila Kunis. Sarah and Alvis turn up and that's our Premise!

JOIN ME NEXT MONTH WHEN I REVIEW THE REST OF THE FILM ONLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST NOW! SEASON 2 FINALE: REVELATIONS AND KEYS

More Action Openings for Episode 51 Revelations, Under Fire by Mantas in Carthage, Aelita is downloading more Data that Jeremie can use to make an Anti-Virus for her by Cracking the Dairy of Lyoko's Creator, Franz Hopper.

In the cafeteria, Discussing Grade Averages (How would they know THAT?) Aelita reveals her's is a grade average of 93%. When Ulrich let's slip "It because you are Not Human" Aelita doesn't show offence but feels like she knows it all already, like she had learned it all, it's that Feeling of Deja Vu that she had being experiencing since becoming Human in season 1's finale! Odd splits from the group when a text from a mystery girl tells him to meet her in the Dark Isolated Woods where the Haunted House Is....in case it's too subtle for you....
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A tower Has Being Activated on Lyoko, Just as Odd get's Evil Dead'd by a Spectre.

"ODD" turns up and Jeremie teleports with the others on the mountain Zone, he realizes his mistake too late. Xana calls of his attack, now that he has an assassin and fall-guy in the heroes midst. Jeremie activates a tower of his own (Much how Franz Did in Contact in the last episode) For the Extra Processing power to Decode the Dairy

An Ambush and Fake Odd makes it's move, Yumi's avatar Returns to earth, Cut to the Hermitage and Odd wakes up in a Submerged Sewer Drain where is left to drown. The Plan by Xana is to corrupt Aelita's Upper limit of Data recovery and Steal Data via her link to Jeremie's Own Data: the Vechile programs, Franz Dairy, even The Realization Program.

Back on the Mountain Zone, Ulrich boasts to Fake Odd that Real Odd never Beaten him in training. Xana's Response?.....
Ulrich clone
I AM A SHADOW....I AM.....THE TRUE SELF!
Yumi finds Odd at the Hermitage and Rescues him. Xana is about to win...Until the Tower Becomes a White Tower, Franz has come to help and Jeremie Decodes all of the Dairy. During the Brief in his room a Sombre Jeremie Reveals as much, But he Reveals something else...Before Franz Virtulized Himself onto Lyoko, he Virtualized someone else...
His Only Child....
A Daughter!
Aelita 0538
"THAT...THAT CANNOT BE TRUE, JEREMIE! I WAS ALONE IN LYOKO FOR SO LONG I WOULD HAVE NOTICED ANOTHER GIRL WITH ME, UNLESS!"
Jeremie confirms Franz is her father!

Episode 52, The Key, and everything from 2 seasons worth of mysteries makes sense. Framz posing as a science teacher living in a house on the campus of Kadic academy, why the school has a Nuclear generator, The Tunnels to the factory all over school grounds, The Hermitage, The flashbacks, EVERYTHING!

Jeremie Uncovers the Truth for Aelita. After Unleashing XANA on an unsuspecting world in 1994, Fearing retribution from various governments and fearing for his life, He used the Return to past program 2000 times on the same day (Meaning he lived and worked non stop for 7 years) To build and program the scanners in an attempt for him and his daughter to escape arrest. Turns out Aelita does not have a virus added that is bonding her to Lyoko, in fact it's the opposite a fragment of herself possibly her human memories, is being guarded in Carthage! Aelita's Confusion, and the fact the others have a nonchalant and relaxed attitude since tonight is the night of the End Of Term dance, Makes Aelita question her Identity. After so long they have to remind us that the Ulrich/Yumi/Sissi/William Love square exists, I get it, It's the season finale and all the loose ends must get tied, but it gets completely ignored compared to what happens next.
The Key - Jeremie trying to wake Aelita
Jeremie finds Aelita has shut down the Supercalculator, the pink haired girl slumped on the cold metal floor. Since Lyoko, XANA and Aelita draw their existence from Aelita tried to commit Suicide, basically. Jeremie resets the computer and Promises that he will save Aelita from a Bleak future!

Ulrich and Yumi stood up Sissi and William, Odd has basically become the most hated Man in Kadic due to his mass dating, means they are free to conduct the final dive into Carthage. But Xana doesn't make it Easy: They have 3 minutes to find "The Key" or it is lost forever!
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Revealing a staircase into the depths of Carthage "The Key is Still Heavily guarded. Then the room starts to collapse. One by One, Odd, Yumi and then Ulrich sacrifice themselves to Get Aelita Closer to the key, Even Franz comes out of hiding and takes control of some Mantas to act as steads for Aelita and Ulrich.

But in the end the Key is a fake!
With Aelita all alone, The Sycozoa can absorb all of Aelita's Memories. Xana has Won.
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Jeremie cries as Aelita's Body is disrespectfully tossed onto the ground.
The Key - Carthage is died-1
Lyoko shuts down from the inside out.
The Key - X.A.N.A. is freed-1
 All the towers in the zones turn red and now, No longer bound to The Supercomputer, Xana's plan for world conquest can go unabated and Unchallenged as it enters our world!
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Franz, now just a ball of data visits his daughter as her life...her very short life (as evidenced by her voice actress, Sharon Mann, making Aelita's voice higher pitched and her dialogue more juvenile!) Flashes before her eyes. Happy memories of living at the Hermitage until her Mother Disappeared and the day the CIA came to arrest her father, it was Franz that told Aelita to Hide the Train station Locker key in Mister Puck and the last thing she remembers as a human is being Virtualised before the Supercalculator was shut down, stealing her memories and making her an AI, 9 YEARS LATER!

Franz sacrifices his own data and life to restore his daughter and Lyoko.
The Group
That night They Realize that Franz sacrificed himself so his daughter can continue the fight. Despite Xana no longer bound to the supercalculator, at least neither is Aelita. Despite Nearly Dying Aelita promise to fight on, but her friends tell her it's a fight she will never be alone in!

Despite Artistic and Continuity Errors, Season 2 Builds on the Mystery and Drama. The Action is Ratcheted Up as the 3D graphics improve in resolution and Movement, 13 years later, the 3D graphics from season 2 and beyond are good quality: The models do more than run and jump for 5 minutes, though there is plenty of that still! Whether or not you predicted Aelita was Human after all back in the day, The Reveal was a slow burn, not to the level of the slow burn that will lead into Season 3, but still paced well!

Now to Character Development, Though we are introduced to a few new characters, Sam and Trevor were one-shots and Yumi's family doesn't extend Yumi's home-life any further than Horoki jeering his sister about Ulrich, No, of all the new characters, Let's talk about William!

Establishing his character early as the Love-sick Delinquent Who Graffiti-Tagged his last school with Love Poetry, kind of sets off William as a Complicated Character, He is in love in Yumi at first Sight and Because Yumi is in a kinda-sorta Relationship with Ulrich, he does see Ulrich as a threat. But surprisingly, he can give Ulrich Sage advice when he acts Possessive and Immature, almost like having a code of honour, like stealing another man's girl is not what he wants. He can hold his own in XANA attacks, something that makes his involvement in season 3 important.

Ulrich sadly gets progressed into a unlikable character, due to William's arrival, coming off as an insecure, clingy, selfish dickhead. His "Relationship" with Yumi is still not official, so most of his Interactions with her are speaking for her, Aping William and being more Emo and Aloof than the Aloof Emo he is supposedly dating. The Limit was Attack of the Zombies, the Heroes were not comfortable with attacking there transformed friends....Until William was turned into a Zombie and then Ulrich couldn't help himself! Let's not Forget The time Ulrich used Time Travel to cheat on the Lottery, Not to help Yumi so she wouldn't move back to Japan, but to Keep her near him!

Spaking of, Yumi gets a little progression, but it's realistic, she hates the extra attention she has from William and Ulrich and from Sissi, She is also Protective of Aelita like during her Night-Terrors. Though treated more like a stock female has a drawback, it seems Yumi is always the first to die on Lyoko, this became the basis to the Running In-Joke "Pick on Yumi Week"

Odd has 3 things going for him in Season 2: His Big Eater Tropes, His Artistic Flair and His Reputation for Being the Schoolyard Cassanova! Having No Upper limit in food, translates to his love life, and if Odd were just 2 years older, that fact would be terrifying to the Mothers of the students! It has bitten him in the ass as seen above. Odd is not the smartest academically, bit makes up for it in Art, and can pass tests if motivated. I am not a fan of him gaining Powers as the plot demands such as shields and being able to swim usually lethal Digital Water

Jeremie has the lion's share of development, Despite Not Taking an Active role in battle, he has an Emotional Investment in the Mission: His love for Aelita. What started as a friendship amongst intellectual Equals in Season 1, became a tender first love, whilst Ulrich and Yumi is toxic, Jeremie and Aeita is pure, Jeremie is devoted to his girlfriend even to the point of when she was Drowning her dove in to save her, no questions asked. Anything that disrupts the relationship is met with raw feelings that sometimes the Jeremie can't cope with (Valentine's Day and XANA'S kiss for example!)

Now that the secret that Aelita is and always was Human is revealed, We can talk about her Lyoko form and it's Deeper Meaning.

Resembling an Elf, A mysterious Creature who is said to be the originators of The knowledge of arts and Music and a Deadly weakness to Iron, Fits Aelita Hopper, a Girl of Germanic Descent with a seemingly Out of Nowhere talent for Music, when she takes up being a Dj, sorry when she takes up being a
Image result for kevin and perry go large dj
DEEEEZHAY!
This knack for Music, becomes weaponized like the others talents On Lyoko, as her Creativity is activated by singing a sustained note, we only learn that She was thought piano by her father. Elves being weak to Iron is possibly a nod to why Aelita is so vulnerable to the threats in her "own" world, Aelita is Intelligent, Formal and Friendly, all thought to be traits from just being an interactive interface for Lyoko, but as time went on other feelings of anger and sarcasm and even sultriness towards Jeremie (though she was brainwashed at the time!) have rising to the surface. Aelita has lost Memories from episode 1, explaining her Clothes, her pink hair, and clothes and being constantly rescued, gave her the nickname princess by odd, it also explains her strange look of one earring, a kimono style top, sarong and a ribbon tied around one leg of her bodysuit. She's "Incomplete" without her human memories something that get's fixed in season 3. as of this season, Aelita's progression from Naivete to the truth is a steady one!

XANA has the Most Development, For an Emotionless Killer Virus, He sure has an Ego, XANA seems to now take it Personally that Teenagers are whooping his ass, his plans now seem to be targeted Murder and Psychological Warfare, over just The Genocide of the Human species! 

AND THAT WAS SEASON 2!

I deserve a break After all this, but no! Join me soon for part 1 of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 
ONLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE AND FOR NOW
WE WILL WAIT UNTIL NEXT TIME IN 2020 For us to
RETURN TO THE PAST
NOW!

CREDITS
Code Lyoko is Property of Moonscoop
Star wars is the Property of Lucusfilms and Disney
Harry Enfield and Chums is Property of The BBC
All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

EPISODE 156: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 2019: BED OF THE DEAD!

I made a Mistake.

Usually I would, for Halloween, Scour the Free-to-Air Horror Channel UK on Sky to find a Horror film with a name so ridiculous, it could be anything but a Comedy Horror, And i DID!

...One Problem, When I saw the Name of the film, i was expecting some piece of crap, that just added "Of The Dead" to the name as a cheeky homage to George A Romero, but instead, this film is a legitimate horror film, despite it's low budget...But is it any good?

With That, We have made our Bed, now to DIE in it, This is Bed of The Dead!

So the film Starts Centuries ago in What I might Assume is Reformation Era Europe, Hooded Figures Drag a man to A hanging Tree to be Sacrificed for their Cult Like many others. Years later, Said Tree is chopped and fashioned into woodwork of a Bed....The Bed of the Dead.

Cut to modern day America, and a fire at a sex club has summoned a Hard Boiled Detective Stereotype. The strip Club has being the epicentre for Murders, Suicides and Murder Suicides and with one constant: they all started in Room 18, A ROOM WITH AN ANCIENT BED!

Flashback To Earlier and 4 of the five future Victims, A couple, A John and a stripper. The couple is going through a rough patch so they are convinced that a foursome will sort things out. There are no more rooms but They bribe Workers to use Room 18. Which is abandoned!

So the four has being Polygamous before, but are uncomfortable about it! Getting into Bed, The 2 women Kiss, One sees the other a Croon

Back in the Present, The stripper's Body is Separated from the bed fire, all her bones broken, one body on the bed, one slumped on gas piping over the bed, eviscerated, one under the bed, also eviscerated and one body outside.

Flashback Ren (the John) Hallucinates his childhood Dog and leaves the bed, and when you leave the bed, you die! Ren becomes the body under the bed, he is dragged by an invisible force and eaten alive!, blood gushing on the floorboards. One of the Women throws a bottle of vodka at the window to escape, but time is reversed to make it impossible!

The owner of the Brothel Saunters in Looking for Answers and is Arrested. Forensics Determines only 1 female victim died in the fire.

The second victim is Sandy's Husband Brad is attacked by A Bloody Spider Creature, as he tries to escape via climbing the gas piping on the ceiling as monkey bars, he is killed when the creature lays it's eggs inside him causing him to burst in a rain of blood over the 2 women!

In the present Detective Carter interrogates The Brothel Owner. Flashback shows the fate of the 5 victim, the one outside the room, A Rapist/Murderer looking for more victims on this night, Tricked into Entering the Room after the Bed Caused an Illusion that looked like the women was coming onto him, He's offed outside after being dragged by the ghost of his victim!

Using a Bed-sheet rope to snatch a phone the Rapist dropped, they can't get a signal, In fact they can only make a text...to detective Carter....2 hours afters their deaths! Sandy carves her name in the bed and it materializes in the present!

Pocketing the Piece of Wood with Sandy's Name on it, Carter Plays a jukebox and has a memory of his dead daughter.

In the past Sandy calls Carter an hour before her Death, he confirms it's her remains she is looking at because he skeleton has A Claddagh Ring on her finger.

Sandy tells Nancy the story behind her Ring, Her Fiance before Brad was Shot Dead as he Proposed to her after he jumped to save her. She has being living with the guilt ever since, and is convinced that this bed kills people with Guilt and sins (Ren killed a dog, Brad beats Sandy, the murderer was...well, that would be redundant to say, and Nancy then tells a story about pulling the plug on her terminally ill Mother) Nancy Hallucinates that the tv screen is showing Sandy, Ren and Brad having a threesome, to stop Nancy from dying too soon, she hits her with the bottle of vodka.

In the future, Carter's Past of his Daughter's Murder by a Black man and the Subsequent Extreme Prejudice caused the death of an innocent Black Man comes to Light when The brothel Owner taunts Carter with it. He attacks the brothel Owner and Virgil is off the case.

Nancy is killed by the Hallucination of her mother forces her off the bed and all her bones shattering

Carter is off the case but is tipped by his partner to speak to a Murder suspect who killed her husband on the exact same bed. She is in Prison because the trail found out she had a motive to kill her husband, He was a Pedophile. So she recants the night of half-hearted BDSM, and when she left the room her husband killed himself by tearing out his eyes. Confirming that the bed kills those with Guilty Hearts, however Sandy can call Carter, because David's Death was not her Fault. Brad's Body slumps on the gas pipe, releasing Gas into Room 18, and dropping his lighter from her Pocket. Carter convinces Sandy to avoid her death, and the Bed Reforms as Sandy takes her Second Chance, Only for an hour later Carter calls his partner and His Partner can't believe it....because CARTER'S BODY IS NOW ON THE BED! Carter tells his partner Goodbye has he sits down on the bed and sees his victim so he pulls out his gun and shoots himself!

And so the film ends some time later, with A hapless Couple buying the bed for some Sequel Bait!

THIS FILM IS TERRIBLE ON AN ACTING STANDPOINT, BUT IT IS SCARY!
Absurd Premise and Nobody actors aside, the film is well paced, the story theme decent and Physical effects are gruesome, if unoriginal! Avoid this film you are expecting a light heated parody of Dawn of the dead-DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!

CREDITS
Bed of the Dead was Reviewed And Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on Twitter)
Bed of the Dead is A Production of Grimm Productions!