I made a Mistake.
Usually I would, for Halloween, Scour the Free-to-Air Horror Channel UK on Sky to find a Horror film with a name so ridiculous, it could be anything but a Comedy Horror, And i DID!
...One Problem, When I saw the Name of the film, i was expecting some piece of crap, that just added "Of The Dead" to the name as a cheeky homage to George A Romero, but instead, this film is a legitimate horror film, despite it's low budget...But is it any good?
With That, We have made our Bed, now to DIE in it, This is Bed of The Dead!
So the film Starts Centuries ago in What I might Assume is Reformation Era Europe, Hooded Figures Drag a man to A hanging Tree to be Sacrificed for their Cult Like many others. Years later, Said Tree is chopped and fashioned into woodwork of a Bed....The Bed of the Dead.
Cut to modern day America, and a fire at a sex club has summoned a Hard Boiled Detective Stereotype. The strip Club has being the epicentre for Murders, Suicides and Murder Suicides and with one constant: they all started in Room 18, A ROOM WITH AN ANCIENT BED!
Flashback To Earlier and 4 of the five future Victims, A couple, A John and a stripper. The couple is going through a rough patch so they are convinced that a foursome will sort things out. There are no more rooms but They bribe Workers to use Room 18. Which is abandoned!
So the four has being Polygamous before, but are uncomfortable about it! Getting into Bed, The 2 women Kiss, One sees the other a Croon
Back in the Present, The stripper's Body is Separated from the bed fire, all her bones broken, one body on the bed, one slumped on gas piping over the bed, eviscerated, one under the bed, also eviscerated and one body outside.
Flashback Ren (the John) Hallucinates his childhood Dog and leaves the bed, and when you leave the bed, you die! Ren becomes the body under the bed, he is dragged by an invisible force and eaten alive!, blood gushing on the floorboards. One of the Women throws a bottle of vodka at the window to escape, but time is reversed to make it impossible!
The owner of the Brothel Saunters in Looking for Answers and is Arrested. Forensics Determines only 1 female victim died in the fire.
The second victim is Sandy's Husband Brad is attacked by A Bloody Spider Creature, as he tries to escape via climbing the gas piping on the ceiling as monkey bars, he is killed when the creature lays it's eggs inside him causing him to burst in a rain of blood over the 2 women!
In the present Detective Carter interrogates The Brothel Owner. Flashback shows the fate of the 5 victim, the one outside the room, A Rapist/Murderer looking for more victims on this night, Tricked into Entering the Room after the Bed Caused an Illusion that looked like the women was coming onto him, He's offed outside after being dragged by the ghost of his victim!
Using a Bed-sheet rope to snatch a phone the Rapist dropped, they can't get a signal, In fact they can only make a text...to detective Carter....2 hours afters their deaths! Sandy carves her name in the bed and it materializes in the present!
Pocketing the Piece of Wood with Sandy's Name on it, Carter Plays a jukebox and has a memory of his dead daughter.
In the past Sandy calls Carter an hour before her Death, he confirms it's her remains she is looking at because he skeleton has A Claddagh Ring on her finger.
Sandy tells Nancy the story behind her Ring, Her Fiance before Brad was Shot Dead as he Proposed to her after he jumped to save her. She has being living with the guilt ever since, and is convinced that this bed kills people with Guilt and sins (Ren killed a dog, Brad beats Sandy, the murderer was...well, that would be redundant to say, and Nancy then tells a story about pulling the plug on her terminally ill Mother) Nancy Hallucinates that the tv screen is showing Sandy, Ren and Brad having a threesome, to stop Nancy from dying too soon, she hits her with the bottle of vodka.
In the future, Carter's Past of his Daughter's Murder by a Black man and the Subsequent Extreme Prejudice caused the death of an innocent Black Man comes to Light when The brothel Owner taunts Carter with it. He attacks the brothel Owner and Virgil is off the case.
Nancy is killed by the Hallucination of her mother forces her off the bed and all her bones shattering
Carter is off the case but is tipped by his partner to speak to a Murder suspect who killed her husband on the exact same bed. She is in Prison because the trail found out she had a motive to kill her husband, He was a Pedophile. So she recants the night of half-hearted BDSM, and when she left the room her husband killed himself by tearing out his eyes. Confirming that the bed kills those with Guilty Hearts, however Sandy can call Carter, because David's Death was not her Fault. Brad's Body slumps on the gas pipe, releasing Gas into Room 18, and dropping his lighter from her Pocket. Carter convinces Sandy to avoid her death, and the Bed Reforms as Sandy takes her Second Chance, Only for an hour later Carter calls his partner and His Partner can't believe it....because CARTER'S BODY IS NOW ON THE BED! Carter tells his partner Goodbye has he sits down on the bed and sees his victim so he pulls out his gun and shoots himself!
And so the film ends some time later, with A hapless Couple buying the bed for some Sequel Bait!
THIS FILM IS TERRIBLE ON AN ACTING STANDPOINT, BUT IT IS SCARY!
Absurd Premise and Nobody actors aside, the film is well paced, the story theme decent and Physical effects are gruesome, if unoriginal! Avoid this film you are expecting a light heated parody of Dawn of the dead-DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!
CREDITS
Bed of the Dead was Reviewed And Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on Twitter)
Bed of the Dead is A Production of Grimm Productions!
Usually I would, for Halloween, Scour the Free-to-Air Horror Channel UK on Sky to find a Horror film with a name so ridiculous, it could be anything but a Comedy Horror, And i DID!
...One Problem, When I saw the Name of the film, i was expecting some piece of crap, that just added "Of The Dead" to the name as a cheeky homage to George A Romero, but instead, this film is a legitimate horror film, despite it's low budget...But is it any good?
With That, We have made our Bed, now to DIE in it, This is Bed of The Dead!
So the film Starts Centuries ago in What I might Assume is Reformation Era Europe, Hooded Figures Drag a man to A hanging Tree to be Sacrificed for their Cult Like many others. Years later, Said Tree is chopped and fashioned into woodwork of a Bed....The Bed of the Dead.
Cut to modern day America, and a fire at a sex club has summoned a Hard Boiled Detective Stereotype. The strip Club has being the epicentre for Murders, Suicides and Murder Suicides and with one constant: they all started in Room 18, A ROOM WITH AN ANCIENT BED!
Flashback To Earlier and 4 of the five future Victims, A couple, A John and a stripper. The couple is going through a rough patch so they are convinced that a foursome will sort things out. There are no more rooms but They bribe Workers to use Room 18. Which is abandoned!
So the four has being Polygamous before, but are uncomfortable about it! Getting into Bed, The 2 women Kiss, One sees the other a Croon
Back in the Present, The stripper's Body is Separated from the bed fire, all her bones broken, one body on the bed, one slumped on gas piping over the bed, eviscerated, one under the bed, also eviscerated and one body outside.
Flashback Ren (the John) Hallucinates his childhood Dog and leaves the bed, and when you leave the bed, you die! Ren becomes the body under the bed, he is dragged by an invisible force and eaten alive!, blood gushing on the floorboards. One of the Women throws a bottle of vodka at the window to escape, but time is reversed to make it impossible!
The owner of the Brothel Saunters in Looking for Answers and is Arrested. Forensics Determines only 1 female victim died in the fire.
The second victim is Sandy's Husband Brad is attacked by A Bloody Spider Creature, as he tries to escape via climbing the gas piping on the ceiling as monkey bars, he is killed when the creature lays it's eggs inside him causing him to burst in a rain of blood over the 2 women!
In the present Detective Carter interrogates The Brothel Owner. Flashback shows the fate of the 5 victim, the one outside the room, A Rapist/Murderer looking for more victims on this night, Tricked into Entering the Room after the Bed Caused an Illusion that looked like the women was coming onto him, He's offed outside after being dragged by the ghost of his victim!
Using a Bed-sheet rope to snatch a phone the Rapist dropped, they can't get a signal, In fact they can only make a text...to detective Carter....2 hours afters their deaths! Sandy carves her name in the bed and it materializes in the present!
Pocketing the Piece of Wood with Sandy's Name on it, Carter Plays a jukebox and has a memory of his dead daughter.
In the past Sandy calls Carter an hour before her Death, he confirms it's her remains she is looking at because he skeleton has A Claddagh Ring on her finger.
Sandy tells Nancy the story behind her Ring, Her Fiance before Brad was Shot Dead as he Proposed to her after he jumped to save her. She has being living with the guilt ever since, and is convinced that this bed kills people with Guilt and sins (Ren killed a dog, Brad beats Sandy, the murderer was...well, that would be redundant to say, and Nancy then tells a story about pulling the plug on her terminally ill Mother) Nancy Hallucinates that the tv screen is showing Sandy, Ren and Brad having a threesome, to stop Nancy from dying too soon, she hits her with the bottle of vodka.
In the future, Carter's Past of his Daughter's Murder by a Black man and the Subsequent Extreme Prejudice caused the death of an innocent Black Man comes to Light when The brothel Owner taunts Carter with it. He attacks the brothel Owner and Virgil is off the case.
Nancy is killed by the Hallucination of her mother forces her off the bed and all her bones shattering
Carter is off the case but is tipped by his partner to speak to a Murder suspect who killed her husband on the exact same bed. She is in Prison because the trail found out she had a motive to kill her husband, He was a Pedophile. So she recants the night of half-hearted BDSM, and when she left the room her husband killed himself by tearing out his eyes. Confirming that the bed kills those with Guilty Hearts, however Sandy can call Carter, because David's Death was not her Fault. Brad's Body slumps on the gas pipe, releasing Gas into Room 18, and dropping his lighter from her Pocket. Carter convinces Sandy to avoid her death, and the Bed Reforms as Sandy takes her Second Chance, Only for an hour later Carter calls his partner and His Partner can't believe it....because CARTER'S BODY IS NOW ON THE BED! Carter tells his partner Goodbye has he sits down on the bed and sees his victim so he pulls out his gun and shoots himself!
And so the film ends some time later, with A hapless Couple buying the bed for some Sequel Bait!
THIS FILM IS TERRIBLE ON AN ACTING STANDPOINT, BUT IT IS SCARY!
Absurd Premise and Nobody actors aside, the film is well paced, the story theme decent and Physical effects are gruesome, if unoriginal! Avoid this film you are expecting a light heated parody of Dawn of the dead-DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!
CREDITS
Bed of the Dead was Reviewed And Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on Twitter)
Bed of the Dead is A Production of Grimm Productions!
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