Well Didn't I have an eventful summer?
There will no Storyline til after the halloween Special so let's cool down with a piece of schlock!
We Don't do Half measures here at BBO, IT'S EITHER 90 MILES A MINUTE OR BARGAIN BIN ASS!
Can't say I ever remember this film from 2010 ever getting mentioned back then But Main street doesn't look interesting. At ALL!
I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS COVER!
Firth, Bloom and Co, Decked in Browns, Beige, whites and Blacks, Standing (IRONICALLY!) in What's called The Dynamic V Formation, looking like A group of Sad Middle aged people attempting to post a photo tagged #SquadGoals!
Luckily this film is only 90 minutes Long so time for me to pick something from Horror channel for Halloween!
We open with Found Footage of the Depression, Because Clearly Roping in not 1 but 2 Big name Actors has tapped expenses!
Cutting to Modern Day Durham County, North Carolina, where we meet 3 of our 5 mains, Mary (Amber Tamblyn) The Cheating Girlfriend of Sheriff Harris (Orlando Bloom), Who is Going to Night Class to be a Lawyer, Much to his mother's worry. We have an Elderly Tobacco Heiress selling her House as the sign of the Times Hits her.
So the Town of Durham is struggling Financally and the local Government is clutching at straws for any ideas of Revenue. Harris Had made plans with Mary, But she is on a date with the other man, Mary's mother is worried she will marry Harris for the wrong reasons (Translation: Harris may be a pushover who will let Mary Cheat on him)
Harris is pulling an all-nighter studying for his Bar Exam, We Learn that Harris' Momma is worried because his brother has Immigrated and he's all she has left!
Meanwhile The heiress is uneasy as someone from out of town has rented her warehouse and is moving in at the dead of night so she calls a Niece to Stay.
Turns out her Intuition was spot on as Colin Firth (Who Can't Do A Texan Accent For Shit!) He Has plans for this tobbaco warehouse, and for this town!
Mary is back from the date with the other man who is a lawyer. It now makes sense that Harris is only taking the Bar exam to impress Mary.
Georgiabella the Heiress' Niece named Willa Sees Firth's 2 Latino Bodyguard Do there Job and the 2 Rich Bitches get all Uppity, Not because Mr Leroy (Firth) never specifies why he is renting a warehouse in the dead of night...No, she are angry DAT DEM DERE MEXYCANS TOOK R JOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSSS!
So Gus Leroy meets the mayor and it is something insidious after all, the trucks have brought in 40 kilos of Untreated Waste in Sealed Canisters. The shifty Businessman tells the mayor in no uncertain words that Georgiabella was too doddering to even ask what his intentions were, so his six months lease is legally binding though his methods were underhanded! The Carrs try and file a complaint but Sheriff Harris laughs the two women off as Senile Racists!
Mary's Boyfriend is a cheating Jackass with a wife a child and thus ends Mary's Story Arc! The Carrs issue a Subpoena to check the warehouse and are mortified by the sight of the canisters. Georgiabella tells Willa that there is no money left for her to inherit. Mary tells her mother she wants to leave Durham for Atlanta and plans to do so tomorrow, Gus asks the Carrs to extend the Contact to 5 years but Georgiabella rescinds. However This hick Town has Made A Powerful Enemy and Mr Leroy's Company is now Suing the Carrs, But Naive Georgia is caught up with his sweet-talk and she decides to give him a month to change Durham's Fortunes around!
Mary tells Harris she is leaving Durham and asks him to drive to the airport! The Carrs have a buyer at the same time the Town Hall hosts a meeting between Mr Leroy and the townspeople.
Gus offers Willa Supervisors Job to stop her suing him, something that her ole Bat of an aunty construes as Willa having Feelings for Mr D'arsehole. Admits she has feeling for him!
WHEN? WHEN WAS THIS? ALL YOU PREVIOUS INTERACTIONS WITH HIM HAD BEING YOU ANGRY WITH HIM FOR TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER SENILE AUNT! DO HAVE TO USE THE FOLLOWING JOKE, IN EVERY BADLY CONCEIVED ROMANTIC DRAMA!
A Storm Means the Carrs potential Buyer wont be out Tonight. Despite this Mary is determined to leave Durham. A slow Burn of Cuts between Leroy convincing the Town Hall his products are safe to the trucks doing a delivery in the storm, to Georgiabella's naive rambling of the good ole days, leads us to...A Car crash scene the Production crew can't afford!
There will no Storyline til after the halloween Special so let's cool down with a piece of schlock!
We Don't do Half measures here at BBO, IT'S EITHER 90 MILES A MINUTE OR BARGAIN BIN ASS!
Can't say I ever remember this film from 2010 ever getting mentioned back then But Main street doesn't look interesting. At ALL!
I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS COVER!
Firth, Bloom and Co, Decked in Browns, Beige, whites and Blacks, Standing (IRONICALLY!) in What's called The Dynamic V Formation, looking like A group of Sad Middle aged people attempting to post a photo tagged #SquadGoals!
Luckily this film is only 90 minutes Long so time for me to pick something from Horror channel for Halloween!
We open with Found Footage of the Depression, Because Clearly Roping in not 1 but 2 Big name Actors has tapped expenses!
Cutting to Modern Day Durham County, North Carolina, where we meet 3 of our 5 mains, Mary (Amber Tamblyn) The Cheating Girlfriend of Sheriff Harris (Orlando Bloom), Who is Going to Night Class to be a Lawyer, Much to his mother's worry. We have an Elderly Tobacco Heiress selling her House as the sign of the Times Hits her.
So the Town of Durham is struggling Financally and the local Government is clutching at straws for any ideas of Revenue. Harris Had made plans with Mary, But she is on a date with the other man, Mary's mother is worried she will marry Harris for the wrong reasons (Translation: Harris may be a pushover who will let Mary Cheat on him)
Harris is pulling an all-nighter studying for his Bar Exam, We Learn that Harris' Momma is worried because his brother has Immigrated and he's all she has left!
Meanwhile The heiress is uneasy as someone from out of town has rented her warehouse and is moving in at the dead of night so she calls a Niece to Stay.
Turns out her Intuition was spot on as Colin Firth (Who Can't Do A Texan Accent For Shit!) He Has plans for this tobbaco warehouse, and for this town!
Mary is back from the date with the other man who is a lawyer. It now makes sense that Harris is only taking the Bar exam to impress Mary.
Georgiabella the Heiress' Niece named Willa Sees Firth's 2 Latino Bodyguard Do there Job and the 2 Rich Bitches get all Uppity, Not because Mr Leroy (Firth) never specifies why he is renting a warehouse in the dead of night...No, she are angry DAT DEM DERE MEXYCANS TOOK R JOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSSS!
So Gus Leroy meets the mayor and it is something insidious after all, the trucks have brought in 40 kilos of Untreated Waste in Sealed Canisters. The shifty Businessman tells the mayor in no uncertain words that Georgiabella was too doddering to even ask what his intentions were, so his six months lease is legally binding though his methods were underhanded! The Carrs try and file a complaint but Sheriff Harris laughs the two women off as Senile Racists!
Mary's Boyfriend is a cheating Jackass with a wife a child and thus ends Mary's Story Arc! The Carrs issue a Subpoena to check the warehouse and are mortified by the sight of the canisters. Georgiabella tells Willa that there is no money left for her to inherit. Mary tells her mother she wants to leave Durham for Atlanta and plans to do so tomorrow, Gus asks the Carrs to extend the Contact to 5 years but Georgiabella rescinds. However This hick Town has Made A Powerful Enemy and Mr Leroy's Company is now Suing the Carrs, But Naive Georgia is caught up with his sweet-talk and she decides to give him a month to change Durham's Fortunes around!
Mary tells Harris she is leaving Durham and asks him to drive to the airport! The Carrs have a buyer at the same time the Town Hall hosts a meeting between Mr Leroy and the townspeople.
Gus offers Willa Supervisors Job to stop her suing him, something that her ole Bat of an aunty construes as Willa having Feelings for Mr D'arsehole. Admits she has feeling for him!
WHEN? WHEN WAS THIS? ALL YOU PREVIOUS INTERACTIONS WITH HIM HAD BEING YOU ANGRY WITH HIM FOR TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER SENILE AUNT! DO HAVE TO USE THE FOLLOWING JOKE, IN EVERY BADLY CONCEIVED ROMANTIC DRAMA!
 |
| FIRST THEY HATE EACH OTHER, NOW THEY LOVE EACH OTHER....AM I ROBOT? |
Harris, with Mary still with him, is called to the scene and are shocked by the destruction. One of the Driver has being killed. Leroy is being Investigated but at Least The Carrs have sold their house...AND THE FILM JUST ENDS! WITH NO RESOLUTION ON LEROY, OR MARY OR WHERE GEORGIABELLA IS GOING TO LIVE, THE FILM JUST ENDS!
THIS FILM SUCKS!
Colin Firth sounds like he works in a cowboy themed Restaurant, The premise is boring, the Romance between Leeroy and Willa tacked on and the production lackluster, But What do expect from a film noone heard of!
CREDITS
Main Street has Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@realEnli)
With Media from
Main Street
The Simpsons
Main Street was Produced by 1984 Films
The Simpsons are the Property of Twentieth Century Fox.
All Rights Reserved. All Media Belongs to there Respective Owners!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!
Stay turned to my Twitter feed as i announce my Halloween special, Besides that Code Lyoko return To the Past Now also returns!
CREDITS
Main Street has Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@realEnli)
With Media from
Main Street
The Simpsons
Main Street was Produced by 1984 Films
The Simpsons are the Property of Twentieth Century Fox.
All Rights Reserved. All Media Belongs to there Respective Owners!
NEXT MONTH ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!
Stay turned to my Twitter feed as i announce my Halloween special, Besides that Code Lyoko return To the Past Now also returns!
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