http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-vetWW8Ums
(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE,
We are really wallowing in the waist-highs this month, welcome to the depressing world of The Invention of Lying, where humans have not evolved the capacity to lie, meaning culture is dead, working masses hate their lives, and people making relationships have dropped all pretenses and reply solely on wealth and genetics for their perfect match!
That has all changed when a lowly script-writer called Mark (Ricky "Unfunny Goblin" Gervais) under so much stress, lied for the 1st time, after trying to explain to his friends to no avail, he nearly raped a woman as a joke's punchline, defrauded Vegas, talked down Jonah Hill from suicide, invented drama that people took as an historical event, and got a second date from superficial Anna, played by Jennifer Garner, which is where we restart)
At dinner, Mark tells about his family where in a flashback we see two of Gervais biggest Hangers-on Shaun "Fat Barry from Eastenders" Williamson and off course the Unfunny Giant, Merchant. Fat Barry is Mark's father and a burglar, the worst job to have in a world where no-one can lie. His father died in jail and his mother was sent to the old folks home, but now Mark has money, he can buy his mother a mansion and keep her in it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HFPa-M6Ssk
Sadly, as you would expect by that joke bridging to this paragraph, Martha is dying, and this is harrowing stuff, since the existence of an afterlife is technically a lie, She is disarray, Until Mark gives his mother the "heaven" talk, inspiring the doctors who were as prickish and unfeeling as the ones in Patch Adams!
Anna Stays the night with the grieving Mark, When Mark drives to the funeral home he's barraged by people who want to know about what happens when people die! and media from all over the world sees his pug nose face! (PUG, PUG! PUG, PUG!)
So, either news travels fast, or I'm right in thinking that humanity has doomed itself by this no lying policy, & their are not enough of us left!
Okay i thought that this film was only going to be about the biggest loser in the world, becoming rich and and famous and losing the girl he loses and gets her back, it still is, but now it has thrown us a curve-ball that make it worse!
...RICKY GERVAIS HAS JUST INVENTED RELIGION!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr86deEKDUA
He explains that it was something that was said to comfort here, but she reacts differently, rather than blindly believe it, she encourages it, saying that if it made his mother happy for the last moments, then it would make other people happy too!
So...Let me get this straight....In world where Humanity has never, until recently, lied, and by proxy, never imagined, exaggerated, dramatize, create, or philosophized, there are people in this world that understand....The "theory" of telling a lie?
YEAH! SURE! WHY NOT? I JUST DIDN'T WE WOULD GO STRAIGHT DOWN AD-LIB ALLEY, AND RIGHT INTO A CUL-DE-SAC OF MAKE-IT-UP-AS-YOU-GO-ALONG!
So, yeah!
Gervais has invented Religion, more specifically, A Bastardized Version of Christianity, writing the 10 commandments on Pizza Boxes, Oh and God is the "Man In the Sky" and only Mark can talk to him! Every Phoney Commandment gets a reaction of ooooooh! like easily impressed children
Which Ironically is the the basis of all secular Belief!
So With the first ever drama, Winning awards and buying houses and clothes to impress her, Anna warms to his personality, and even becomes less Superficial, but still won't sleep with him because their kids would be 50% Chubby Little Losers! (SEE HIS PUG- NOSED FACE! PUG, PUG! PUG, PUG!)
What?
I said she was "less" superficial!
But just as Mark was about to lie to Anna's question whether wealth changes people's genetics, he answers no!"
Yeah you created Lying, Drama, and Religion in the space of a week, i would cut my losses too!
A year later, a co-inhabiting Anna and Mark are arguing on his birthday because Anna is going on a date with Brad (Rob Lowe), when he says that pre-martial sex is forbidden by the "Man In The Sky", he opens the birthday card that Anna gave him, and inside is a coupon...."Good for 1 Night of Sex!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A
And Since he shot himself in the foot, Brad proposes to Anna, to hurt his Rival Writer, As much as i hate this kind of "I Want You, Because He Does!" Crap, it works where everyone is truthful, however Mark is still too much of a loser to do anything about it!
So creating a world that now has religion has mutated all the douchebags into bigger ones as small evils like being rude or bolshy is okay now that there is a man in the sky that let's them act like dicks with impunity, Even to Mark, the only man that can talk to their new God!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oypydvERgS0
It gets worse, Jonah Hill is drinking himself into a stupor because now he know his live will be better when he dies! At Martha's Grave, he realises that a live of wealth is pointless without anyone to share it with1 The Depression of creating religion has made Mark give up on shaving and dressing himself, covering his shame when he needs to in bed-linen...Oh god no! Don't do what i think you are ....
Yes! they turned Gervais into Jesus! Anna gives Unfunny Jesus an invite, but try to convince her that if Brad is a prick why marry him, Anna opens that at 30 she knows her looks will leave here but if she passes on those looks to her children, he wont be judged badly! Mark, in an author's saving throw, tells Anna that's bullshit! and the man who loves her will love her no matter what she looks like! She FINALLY! Gets it when breaks up two boys bullying a smaller, fatter boy.
So let's finish this!
Greg (Louis CK) cleans up Mark to disrupt the wedding, Anna finally gets it and Mark tells Anna there is no god, and that people should go back to thinking and looking out for themselves, but dammit-THINK BEFORE YOU ACT BECAUSE EMPATHY IS NOT THE SAME THING AS LYING! And so, our film ends 5 years later, with Anna married to Mark, and their Bowl-Cut Boy of a son, speaking baby talk despite being 5, inheriting his father's ability to lie.
No word if this world has plunged into a war between Atheists and People who still firmly believe in a "Man In The Sky" but a happy ending is an happy ending!
AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!
THIS FILM SUCKS!
Everyone is an unlikable Asshole, Garner is thick as two planks, Jonah Hill's Character (Whose name, I think is never given) sub-story dissolved, the film is depressing, I hadn't being more upset with an Ending since Donnie Darko, This is a world where the rich bully the poor, the successful use influence on weak minded lackeys, the old wait to die, and the incompetent cash their cheques, Gervais is becoming the British Sandler, with his formulaic "Ends up Married with Children" ending and giving his Lick-arses Merchant and Williamson key roles! And the extras, oh lord the extras! Who Ordered the Hams with extra Cheese?
THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY, THE WORST FILM I EVER WATCHED!
CREDITS
The Invention of Lying was reviewed, compiled and edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham @RealEnli
With Clips and Music from:
in Part 1:
The Office
and music
"Chubby Little Loser" performed by David Bowie
and part 2:
Bubsy
Bubsy: the animated series
Disney's Hercules
Avatar: the last Airbender visuals with audio from the Spoony Experiment (credit to its creator)
The Price is Right
Photo from google Images
And Music
Disco Lies by Moby (FreeMasons Remix)
The Invention of Lying is property of Universal Studios.
All rights reversed.
All clips used belong to their respective owners.
NEXT MONTH: IT'S NOT OCTOBER, IT'S PRATCHETTOBER HERE ON BOOGER BOX OFFICE AND ENLIGHTENED TOWERS, Checkout the winter schedule 2015 at enlightenedtowers.blogspot.ie for more info!
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