The reason I did not include shows that Were Produced from 2018 onward in My last review is this, From 2017 all the Shows were repeated until this year and all those shows are now Moved onto the CITV block on ITVX. As of right now, every morning on ITV2, they now Show the programmes the Channel use to show before it's closure. Sorry, but if you are Trying to get Every Family in Britain to Buy your new Electronic Babysitter, even low income families, why are you Not Showing Anything Shiny and new?
Oh right, we live in a Britain where Pop Exists! It's Funny, when my Family bought Sky in the 2000s, Pop was the Channel Showing Decade long Repeats, and Cheap cartoons from Australia and Canada and Citv had the 3rd Party Franchises. Now, Citv having lost Power Rangers, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Bakugan, Guess where they most of them are now? On The Freeview Pop Channels! Granted Pop is not Perfect, As the Freeview Channel Owned By Sony, They can't Show buy CN or Disney Shows (Miraculous Ladybug is not entirely a Disney IP, Which is why they can show Episodes a year later after Disney) but they are doing Well for themselves.
Little Could be said about Citv around this Time, from what I gather at this point only two new shows were created prior to closure. The Rest are acquired from abroad or Originals from A year or Four ago repeated in a loop! Why Just last week, I was watching Scooby doo Mystery Incorporated on ITV2, (Fantastic Show, still after 5 plus years!) And it was a Double bill. The last Episode....and the very first episode!
And this Review was going to be Very hard to pull off as I've being Relying on Wikipedia and YouTube to find Shows. Citv had a Wiki, but it's nothing but a Cut and paste of Wikipedia pages. As of right now the Shows I will review Have no Wiki pages so My only Opinion comes from what I can see and find from other sources. Sidenote: I was going to review Project Z but then in the credits it said "Adapted From the Original from S4C" meaning it was not a Original Show produced by ITV. Sorry, but the Rules were made clear in Part one.
So in the Words of the Singularity
"This will be fast, Possibly Painless!"
2017-2023
Dare Master/ Dare Master at Home.
Danny Murphy is A Deaf Teenager, who is dared to do Stunts or get a Custard Pie for failing. While not Something I would sit down and watch 20 odd years ago, I do like the fact a Handicapable Child is here to Show Children, they can do the things other people can do and more!
I also have Commend The Show during 2020, becoming Dare Master at Home, Doing Skype Challenges while at the same Time, promoting Safe COVID.
An Action Gameshow where A Professor bring on a Team of Child Actors. Solely because one, no prizes are ever mention and two, Watch this Show on YouTube, and listen to The Children speak, no child speaks like that!
Anyway the Professor brings our 3 Three Pod Children to Old props from Jungle Run to play games not to win Monkey Totems, but Fruit to appease the Beast, a CGI Creature and an Extra in Hulk Hands we only see over the Shoulder Shots of.
Most of the 24 episodes end with the Implied Death of The Children.
Y'know a Kid's Show!
Stop Motion Animation from Aardman is a Return to form after Planet Sketch. Lloyd, the Middle Child of 500, feels misunderstood by his Busy parents, is annoyed by a younger Sister, and scrounging food without being killed by humans. Thankfully he has friends that will help him out. A Slice of Life Animated Sitcom, Which is Quite Funny. Check out the Compilations on YouTube.
Comedienne Bec Hill, Is the Waitress at The Make and Do themed Restaurant, The Makeaway Takeaway. Filling the 22 year Void left by Finger tips, Bec, in a Episode wide Framing Device, would present Ideas For Arts and Crafts in Different Segments.
- Takeaway Technique: Bec Makes A Picture with a Unique Item
- Makeaway Delivery: off set, Bec and a Child make a thing Together.
- Paper Puppet Show: Going back to Bec Hill's Prop Comedy Roots, She shows us how her act is done!
- Make of the Day: taking Inspiration from Can't cook, Won't Cook, A Child gives Bec a list of 3 items to use in a make!
- Makeaway Big Delivery: the Final Segment of the Episode, sees her Leave the studio Again, But this time, to make Art on a big Scale, From painting a Half pipe in a skate park to making a Kite for Edinburgh Fringe.
Luke Franks, one of the Presenters of Scrambled, the Weekend Morning Block and the last ever Weekend Block at that, Host this mishmashed Show pertaining to movies. While the Kids Movies are made by Parents who can't understand Microsoft filters, There are some Attempts to teach kids and Teens movie Genres and Tropes.
The only things I could find on YouTube about this show, is how much people think it Sucks, otherwise it's just results on The Film Ted and its top 10 moments.
On September 1st, 2023, At 9pm, CITV went off the air. 15 minutes prior, This show was Shown. One of the most Ugliest, Rotten, Unfunny Wastes of Ink and Paper ever Commissioned as a cartoon. A Sad But Fitting end to what Citv had become!
Years Ago PhantomStrider made a top 10 Worst British Cartoons, With Goggs topping the Bottom Pile.
Maybe it's time to reassess that list.
Now, I love The Comedian who Voices Dave Spud, Johnny Vegas, I love the Music of Basement Jax who created the Incidental Music.
There is nothing To love about Dave Spud. Pity, in his universe, Perhaps! But not love!
The Artwork is Ugly, the Animation Non existent, the Characters are So Unlikable to each other, that when an outside source actually antagonizes The Spuds, you do not feel sorry for them at all.
Currently, The Dave Spud YouTube Channel doesn't show full Episodes of it's shows. Ridiculous since of the 4 channels that do show this Monstrosity, 3 are Free to air.
I suppose you want the Plot to this Show. Well Dave Spud is a child who suffers from both middle child Syndrome and Embarrassing Relatives. That's it, nothing new or Special, but done worse with just the most repugnant Toilet Humour. Watch at your own peril. Especially if you are Irish, Welsh or Scottish. Because yes something this bad, doesn't have 1 Animation kiss of death by being translated in My Country's Bog Language, but the Scottish and Welsh Dead Dialects too!
And So we come to 9pm on the 1st Of September, 2023. 2 Months Short of it's 40th Birthday. They went through the Facade of Having adverts like there was something big coming. All day it was Business as usual, the same 5 years of Shows over and over, including the ads for itvx kids. So if they were building up a Surprise, this would be the time to do so! A Epitaph, a Slideshow, a pull open of the metaphorical Curtain to someone from Citv's past with a statement, a voiceover telling us goodbye, Something, ANYTHING! ANYTHING! BETTER THAN THIS!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
And that's all you need to know about what ITV really thought all these years. And Consider how Other Kids Programs treat Endings. Blue Peter when a Presenter Leaves, Is Given a Clip show and Is treated like He or she is Graduating and leaving For better things. Children's Dramas that are Put in 2 parters with the Second Half having a over-run of a few minutes to finish the Story. When Elizabeth Sladen Of Doctor Who and the Mary-Jane Adventures Fame Died, The last 5 minutes of CBBC was a Slideshow of her life and career in Memory of her. Also the Christmas Specials of the Saturday Morning Shows, Use to pull out all the Stops, because They didn't know if their show could be retooled into a new show with new presenters, new name and Studio in the New Year! Hell the Last Officially Billed Disney club show Toonattick back in the 00s had the Hosts Sing we will Meet again while A Clip show happened. Showing us at least ITV, At the time cared about cancellations.
But no. A channel Dies and the same ole shows are regurgitated for 3 hours on The Channel for DA Yuff! the next day and didn't tell anybody, THANK YOU, FUCK YOU, BYE!
Time will Tell if citv will change or Fizzle out on ITV2. Usually Nick and Pop would make a land grab and claim shows. And the sad things is? This was not all the Shows! There are Shows lost to time! I Didn't do a Retrospective on GMTV, Disney Club Uk, Digit and the Saturday Morning Shows, Because they weren't CITV At the Time, and I generally thought back in September, That without a CITV Channel, a Saturday Morning Show would return. Maybe Wishful thinking on my part.
Still the last 5 weeks have Being a Journey, And i think It's being more personal because i'm Currently 38 YEARS Old, so You've seen me Fanboy and Reminisce and Scorn and Scratch my head and I feel like if you have read this from the Begining, that you have done the same. And I thank you for being on this Journey with me!
NEXT MONTH WE RETURN TO REVIEWING FILMS IT'S THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL OF COURSE AND WE ARE IN FOR A REAL SONG AND DANCE IN LYLE, LYLE, CROCODILE!
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