(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE...)
(Earth was Seconds away from being destroyed by the Meteor...Until a Space-ship belonging to garrison of Galactic G-MEN Arrived to literal fanfare, like a sporting event. Eamonn Had returned Earth to save the day, with new powers and upgrades provided by his lover/benefactor, the Etheral and mysterious Sabaru Of the Mara. He returned to finished what he started, but he's convinced he being put back in time by a year to save Humanity!
Iz Dat....Really youse? Joe-Jack Started
"It is....and it's starting to rain....." Eamonn started to cry and laugh, a wave of emotion overwhelming him "It really is Earth....I'm back.....i saved it!"
He hugged Joe-Jack, despite Protest, and Mammie, but stopped in his tracks when He saw Ostrich
"YOU FUCKED UP MY TRAIN, YOU PUTA! YOU MANGLED MY BABY! WAIT A TICK...." Ostrich took a long stare at Eamonn, He Could something that Only the Lord of the Damned could see, a dark Aura, something he hadn't felt for centuries.
"HOW THE MY HOUSE IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? YOU'VE BEING GONE A MONTH AND SOMEHOW YOU MEET THE ONE THING YOU SHOULDN...
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN A MONTH? I'VE BEING GONE A WHOLE YEAR! I ONLY CAME BACK TO SAVE THE PLANET WHEN I HAD THE POWER TO DO SO?
-"EAMONN, HONEY, I KNOW THESE THINGS, AND I TELL WHEN A SOUL IS FULL OF SIN, OR IN YOUR CASE BEING LIES TO, SO EITHER, TIME TRAVEL IS A THING IN A YEAR...OR IT'S THE FORMER!
OK I KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO SETTLE THIS. Come and meet my wife! She's the one who upgraded my gear. The Ship is designated to make a round trip back to Harmonus, Anyway!
AND NOW TO OUR FEATURED PRESENTATION!)
Today's film, a piece of Lifetime Movie Fluff with three former major Movie stars! And that's all it has going for it!
I have seen my far share of Terrible Covers In my Day, but this is Just Bad, Not Offensively, But Aesthetically. It's Just Headshots! No Action, No Plot, Even the Fanservice Shot of A pool Scene, Provides no sizzle. If you saw this in a DVD shop, with 100s of other covers vying for your Attention, would you pick it up first thing?
We open with Rebecca Hall Who Plays Beth, a Stripper, Who has a polarizing day at work, First a Handstand Contest in Underwear where she is paid and gets a drink too, to then having a gun pulled on her!
The Next Morning, She meets her father and they discuss their shared Money Troubles, Though she lies by saying she is JUST a vet, Her Dream is to ditch it to be a cocktail waitress in Vegas, to which her father Supports, Maybe he's in Earnest About his daughter throwing it all away to be leered at by Horny Drunks, Maybe he's being Sarcastic, I can't tell because the Acting so far has being terrible!
Leaving Florida for the Bright Lights of Vegas, She Realizes how ill-prepared she is, finding only a motel to stay and trying to win big money on the coin-pushers. She can't find work being the Waitresses are Unionized.
She meets 2 strippers and as they sunbathe topless, One of them, Hollywood, (Laura Prepon) Tells Beth there is only 3 lawful ways for a women to get buy, Strip, Marry or Leave! But she thinks "Dink" can Help. This is the best acting so far, i'm a big 70's show fan, But Laura is doing a stupid accent with her tits out!
Frank Dink is a bookie, though it's Illegal in Vegas, gives Rubes like Beth Drive out of town to make bets on his behalf, with a cut for that person. Despite not knowing how to gamble, or anything about sports, Law, Probability, Stringing Sentences, Beth is hired, along side Regular Staff Bobby and Scotty. In Reno, Dink tells Beth that Learning how odds change by watching events in real time is how he is so successful! Beth is Written as some kind of Idiot Savant, she's Good with Numbers but better with Letters, able to sort letters of words alphabetically in her head without mistakes, THIS NEVER COMES UP SO I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS MENTIONED!
(This is a trope called Chekov's Gun. If you write something in the world building and first chapters of a book, the reader expects what you are writing about to make a part in the story. Anton Chekov, a Writer and Professor, once said if you are writing a murder mystery and tell your readers in chapter one, a pair of dueling Pistols are framed over the mantelpiece, they expect that one of the pistols will be used as a murder weapon, otherwise, why bring it up? Same with Lay the favourite, why bring this skill to arrange letters, IF IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, DOES NOT MATTER?)
Dink tells Beth his tragic Story of being caught by the police and kidnapped by gangsters with is met by Bimbo-ish Giggles by Beth. After Work, Hollywood warns Beth not to get too close to Dink, as his wife, Tulip (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is the possessive type.
Dink brings Beth to the one place, she can learn about Gambling: A Half-way House for the G.A! There they encounter Rosie (Vince Vaughan), a hot shot Bookie from New York, who has dodged the law better than Dink ever could and it sticks in his craw how successful he is, given how stricter the penalty of Book-keeping is the Empire State!
Tulip returns from her trip abroad and is shocked when she meets Beth, Not only is she Young, she's a young double of her (Seriously, look at the cover, Rebecca hall could pass as CZJ's Daughter!) Despite Every side Character Warning Beth not to get close to Fink, She ACTIVELY Flirts with her Boss, Not helped that Dink see's His Wife as a curse, as the fortunes of the match, change from Bad to good as soon as Tulip leaves!
Not helped by that Dink hangs with Beth After hours and Tulip is that selfish a bitch!
Dink Returns home to see Tulip, Drunk and Emotional. The next day, Dink hands Beth a Brown Envelope full of Money: It's her Severance Pay, He has to fire her.
So this is how it's being Drawn from minute One....
A Slut Gives up her High-Paying Vet Job and being a Stripper for her dream of being lust over as a barmaid without the STDS, Is hired by a Con-man and Despite Being told by Everyone, not to break the Break The One Rule, Not only does she break the One Rule, She ACTIVELY, TO SERVE HER OWN END! Breaks the One Rule.
Oh, but now we have the next scene of her lying on a bed listening to sad songs, that we a supposed to Fell Sorry for her!
But Five minutes later,
She Pounces on the first Rube she finds on the coin pushers.
At Dink's, Firing Beth means all the bets she was ordered to make, haven't (Despite the fact Dink has TWO OTHER EMPLOYEES! Sure Beth's firing was Sudden, but what is stopping Bobby and Scotty from doing it, as well as there assignments?) Reluctantly, Dink gets Hollywood involved, but she disappears, betting against Dink's favourite and loses all the money. This forces Him to Fire Bobby and Scotty
Dink Asks Tulip for a loan, but on one condition, She wants Dink to pay for a Facelift! Beth, Scotty and Bobby are bought back!
Beth is bought to Dink's Mansion to sign a contract, She sees Tulip Bruised from the surgery. this time she warns Beth herself not to get close to her husband, but realizes she wouldn't be the Prize Pig she is without Dink's Money!
Beth Confronts Hollywood about being a scumbag, but Hollywood Says "NO, U!"
Dink is losing Badly and Fire's Beth, Bobby and Scotty "Again", But the 2 men Wave it off! But Beth asks what will happen if Dink is Broke for Real, the others say they'll just work for someone else, after all that's Gambling for you! For A slut, Beth has a Strange Sense of Loyalty! Begging for her job back and tempting Dink again, Makes him Dink put it clearly, with a Bag of Blu Chips. He wants her Gone, before he can cheat again! Beth Takes the Chips, cashes them and Arrives in New York where Jeremy (Joshua Jackson) lives.
Jeremy is a Journalist and while Staying with a Nice Grounded Person is a nice change of pace, As someone once sang, Love Doesn't Pay The Bills! Beth Says that Experience with Dink was the worst 6 months of her life and she doesn't want to think about Gambling. She's Off the horse. NO MORE GAMBLING. EVER. AGAIN!
.....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNND
TWO HOURS LATER!
At a Pickup game she hedges bets for the other players. Finding Rosenburgs Business Card, being a Bookie in New York is more of a risk than Vegas, But the Pay exceeds anything Dink would give Beth, plus she'll be working on the Caribbean Island Of Curaco! There is a Problem: Rosie is a FUCKING IDIOT! ("You Left Your Spreadsheets in Sizzler!" In Both Vegas and New York, Dink and Rosenburg win big on the GiGis. Joshua thinks the relationship is going too fast, Beth is no leaving for a different country, But Beth ask Joshua if he's so worried he can join her on her rounds. In Vegas, out to Dinner celebrating, Tulip tells Dink Not to worry about Beth Working with Rosenburg. But he cant shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen!
IT BETTER!
We are and hour in a 90 minute Drama and Nothing DRAMATIC has happened Yet!
Rosenburg's Curacao Office is a Trainwreck, His Bookies are Coke-Fiends and Doing Hookers, Jeremy is in New York and Beth hates everything about Rosenburg!
Greenburg (The Guy from the Basketball game, Has Gotten into Some Trouble With the Law and his phone seized, The cops are ringing every number on the phone including Beth's and Jeremy's (He gave Him his number in the scene where Jeremy joined Beth on her Rounds!) Jeremy tells her to act Dumb (NO PROBLEM!) when the Cops call her. Rosie is not Worried, but Jeremy's career could be fucked if he gets least a Felony Charge. On the end of her Rope, Beth has no Choice but to call Dink, The Dinks Agree to Help Jeremy (Beth involved with someone else, seems to be why Tulip would help her Husband's Paramour!), but only if Beth Returns to New York. Beth Walks out from Rosenburg Inc. which makes Rosie, freeze Beth's Account as extortionate measures to make her stay and get Greenburg's Money, into his pocket-Only for Jeremy to learn Greenburg is A FBI Patsy!
Dink's Plan is to make Beth bluff over the phone, that she is more Dangerous to Piss Off than the Feds, Appealing to Greenburg's Better nature, reveals he lied about the feds, the only way he can repay is to have his account re-opened so he can bet on New Jersey in tonight's game, Dink tells Beth to let him Go, Greenburg is Rosie's Problem, But Rosie has her Life Savings. If they can use the board to make New Jersey the favourite to win-Except it's new Jersey in Basketball, not NFL! (Apparently NJ is good in one, but shit in the other?)
A foul means New Jeresy has a fight chance in Penalties and it makes the Jets squeeze through and the Credits tells us what happened instead of SHOWING US what happened next, as the last think we see is an Everyone Dances Ending!-Rosie is broke, Dink and Tulip bought a hamster and Beth paid her way to college and wrote the Memoir that became this film,-YES, this was a true story which means unless it was creative license, the Stupidity really happened!
THIS FILM SUCKS!
The flow of time is off, the Dialogue is Laughable! (During the phonecall with Greenburg, Beth actually says "Look at me, Over the Phone!") Noone acts like a real person, Laura Prepon talks like an Alien, In that weird Accent, and Rebecca Hall's Beth is a Giggly Child in a Hot women's Body!
This is what Happens to action stars when they get too old to do fight scenes without slipping a disc.Films like this.
Tragic!
CREDITS
Lay the Favourite was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli on twitter)
With Media From:
Lay the Favourite
WWE RAW!
Lay the Favourite was Produced by Random House Pictures. All Rights Reserved. All Media used Belongs to their Respective Owners
NEXT TIME ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE....
THE SHOCKING CONCLUSION OF SABOTAGE BY SLEEP!
THAT WILL LEAVE THE UNIVERSE REELING!
IT'S THE MAY DOUBLE FEATURE EVENT!
"I LOVE YOU, MAN" AND "DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS"
IN 2 TICKETS TO HELL!....MACHINATIONS OF THE MARA!
