CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW!: EPISODES 19-20: LOST SIGNAL

It was only a Throwaway Line in Laughing Fit but Aelita said to Jeremie "Don't We Love each other? Why Don't we fight?" But as This episode, Frontier will tell you, even computerised waifus can get on your wick!

Working on Realization Programming, Aelita and Jeremie work against each other, causing Jeremie to get angry and the computer program to log off. Feeling terrible, Jeremie asks the Team over to the factory. Odd and Ulrich have spent all weekend playing Tetris, Ulrich even bringing a Gameboy Advance-Expy to the Factory.
PLOT POINT!

Jeremie explains he is going to Virtualize HIMSELF! To personally apologize to Aelita. He gives Yumi his "Simple" Virtualization Program-a journal the size of a Golden Pages! Given that Yumi couldn't even Virtualize two people on what could have being the easiest mission the team would have, Is it really that shocking that Jeremie Ends up in a Virtual Limbo, Trapped between 2 worlds, his body slowly being deleted by his own software?

The Entire System has malfuntioned, Aelita, who can contact Jeremie as a voice in her head, exposisties that the Scanners and the Return to the past programs are now offline. But Each of the zones towers contain backups for these Programs and Aelita is set to restore this data. Luckily Xana has not issued an attack, however the monsters will attack if they spot Aelita, Plus being a grade apart means Yumi and The Boys don't have the same class schedule, meaning they can monitor the progress if they take turns. Aelita collects 50% of the data in the Desert and ice zones, But Xana Catches on quick sending monsters to the Forest Zone!

It's Getting harder to communicate with Jeremie, But he tells Aelita to tell Yumi that not even the Super-Calculator Processors have the capacity to send Jeremie Back and reboot up all the files, So Jeremie tells Yumi to get his laptop, when she does, she turns and see's the School's Groundskeeper Jim.

Yumi is sent to the Principal's office, accused of Theft. The only way to get Yumi out with the laptop is for Ulrich to negotiate with Mr Delmas' Daughter, Sissi, who demands he see her for 2 months, he agrees to one month "and a down payment"- the down payment being a kiss in front of everyone

POOR BUGGER!
Of all the days to not have a Personal Flashpoint, it was this episode!

Despite Aelita escaping the Mountain Zone and Yumi retrieving the laptop, The Mountain Zone is Swarming with Monsters Whilst that can't spare the data for 3 scanners, Jeremie figures that using one so someone can ferry Aelita could work. Ulrich goes to Lyoko (Mainly to get away from Yumi's Jealous Rage!) But there is not enough Memory, they only need 10 more bits...That's when Odd see's Ulrich left his GBA behind!

With the Extra power Ulrich goes to Lyoko and Ferries Aelita to The Tower...what happens next is the big reason that this episode is top rated, on a art-view, a 3d and 2d figure gelling well on the same screen, but emotionally this is what we waited 20 episode and a whole year to see...2 lovers, 2 worlds, finally touching!
 

Jeremie returns to the Real World, his feelings for Aelita now confirmed and Reciprocated back, she jokes about someone should remind Ulrich and Yumi it's natural for couples to fight...Unaware that Jim is growing more and more suspicious of the group!

A  bit of Trivia, The factory in Code Lyoko was based on a real life Renault Car Factory in Burgundy that even sat on the river and everything!(the factory has since being demolished!) And again Xana has possessed the assembly line to make Terminators! Makes you wonder what kind of Secret Government Shite Renault was up to on the down low to even have parts that looked like humanoids pieces!

Because this was the 00s, Today there is a Robot Wars competition between Jeremie and Herve, the plot being Herve cheats to remain in Sissi's gang. Then the Terminator shows up!

"I Needs your Clothes, Your Boots, Und Your Overbike!

The Warriors Blackmail Herve To Help them destroy the Terminator, with help on a toy R/C plane and a Titanium Drill Bit...It's just a shame that any headway to give Sissi or any of her gang character development gets dissolved by the end of every episode they get it!

To make sure Mars Needs Moms comes out on time on April, We will be logging off until the manuscript gets done. When we do come back, Ulrich, you dirty, dirty dog in the most Adult-themed episode yet in EPISODE 21-22: GODDAMMIT, BARRY!

When we

RETURN TO THE PAST, 

NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW!: EPISODES 17-18: ODD SOUNDS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOm2YOIzixI

Today XANA Must have decided enslaving humanity was more beneficial that killing us all, if the first episode, Amnesia is anything to go by.

Activating a tower in the Ice Zone, Xana take control of a strange device in the science lab that produces a silicone-like gel. In class, Miss Hertz  exposists that the device is a nanobot creator, she asks Ulrich to take a sample of the gel-Like substance, until Odds clowning makes some on the gel go on his nose, making XANA Controlled bot to lodge in his skull.

During Break, Ulrich passes out from a migraine with huge veins popping out of his giant forehead. Sissi sees this and jumps on the chance to play nurse to Ulrich. When Ulrich comes to, and with amnesia, the idea of a hot boy with no memory is enough to make the hamsterwheel in Sissi's evil head spin! However Ulrich gets flashbacks whenever Sissi tells a big lie, like telling Him he hates Odd, Jeremy and Yumi, despite Ulrich has to share a dorm with the 2 former and well, he can't help being attracted to the later! It backfires on Sissi, though, the Amnesia hasn't made him Pliable, but Paranoid and walks off!

As The Warriors try to ask the Nurse about Ulrich, she scolds them on wasting her time, The Amnesia has gained Viral Qualities, Jeremie's Hunch about the nano-dome proves correct when they find Miss Hertz unconscious. Jeremie examines the gel and sees The mark of XANA on the robots.

A confused Ulrich is following his flashbacks to the factory. Yumi and Odd are sent to the Ice Zone and into an ambush, Ulrich makes his way to the factory. Ulrich can't remember fully what this place does, but he knows it's important. Jeremie agrees and scans him into Lyoko. Odd staying back to retrain his friend. Yumi is sent back to the real world after taking too much damage, but it's a fearless, instinct prone Ulrich (who think's it's all a game!) who is the hero here. After the Return To The Past, to make sure the attack doesn't happen again, Ulrich burns the nano-bot culture, getting himself a detention.

We waited 20 episode to get here, but Odd finally gets his own episode, unfortunately, he doesn't do much, as you will see.
Ulrich is trying to study but Odd's music is distracting him. Arguing with him, Ulrich leaves for Jeremie's room. when he leaves Odd Clutches his head and falls over, a grimace on his face like he just smelled Joker-Venom!


 The next Morning at breakfast, the Fact that the Glutton that is Odd is not there raises suspicion, meanwhile the Mp3 file of the song Odd was listening to has hit the entre school. The Boys find Odd in a coma but his heart is failing. Ulrich beats himself up about the attack and goes to hospital with Jeremie, who eavesdrops on doctor's working on cases like Odd's. He is now convinced This is XANA'S doing. Yumi finds Sissi unconscious listening to the song. putting the headphones to her ears for a few seconds makes her feel weak. hen she brings Sissi to the infirmary, Xana jams the nurse's Radio with his music. Jeremie transfers Yumi and Ulrich to the mountain zone. Here Ulrich falls afoul of Blox' new weapon, a freeze Gun!

Poor Ulrich, he's out of Aspear Berries!

XANA has attacked the Factory with it's music. And Jeremie is losing his composure. Ulrich reveals he has a new power too, combining his Super Speed with Triplicate to Form Triangulate, An After Image Ninja Trick


(Ninjas and Samurai are the same thing, right?)

But the Frost Damage has took it's tole, with Jeremie losing it he puts a timer on the Return Trip. Yumi and Aelita most Deal with Video Game Style Moving Platforms

A Shame, because Code Lyoko's own licensed game was SUPERASS! 

...Leaving Yumi falling into the Digital Sea...AGAIN!, However the Return trip saves everyone, casting Odd and Ulrich to The Night Before, this time a compromise is struck so Odd can help Ulrich with his test tomorrow

Well that's it!

Because of Elimination Chamber Results that will appear on my Tumblr page (enlightenedtowers.tumblr.com) We will Log off until Wednesday. Next time Code Lyoko does Johnny Depp's Transcendence a million times Better and Terminator for the Millionth time! In Episode's 19 and 20: Lost Signal

WHEN WE RETURN TO THE PAST!

NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW!: EPISODES 15-16: MIRACULOUS LED-BUG AND CAT PURPLE!

So we return with Episode 15, Laughing Fit, and yet another Episode showing us how far XANA will go to "remove" his enemies

It starts with a Chekov's Lecture With Miss Hertz giving a demonstration of Nitrogen Peroxide, Laughing Gas, and to reverse it's effects with water.

During Break, Yumi is depressed about something, though being a Goth, It's hard to tell! Ulrich is left in the Lurch Until Sissi tries her charms. There is a play rehearsal tomorrow and Odd is playing the music, It's Romeo and Juliet and there is no Romeo, you can have 3 guesses and the 1st 2 don't count who Juliet is. I am sick not only the trope, but real life as well, when people say "Oh, that couple is like Romeo and Juliet!" I just wish Ulrich had acknowledged the trope and said "You Do Know They Die, Right?" Meanwhile XANA attacks and becomes a gas again, this time it's the Laughing Gas he bonds with.

This is the first episode where we see Yumi's Home life, (well outside of the many baths she takes!) Yumi's father is a salary-man, who uprooted the entire family To France this year, this has lead to long work shifts and arguments between her Parents, This new argument has gotten out of hand and Yumi, confiding in Ulrich who has gone to her house, doesn't even know what the argument is about (Ulrich: "Yep, Those Arguments are the Worst!") Yumi's father is staying with a friend from work, because of it!

At the Rehearsal, Odd is attacked by the Spectre and Uncontrollably laughs his ass off!, Sissi, ever the egotist, thinks Odd is laughing at her, and throws a water bottle at him, curing him, but firing him also! Ulrich has a plan to get Yumi's parents back on speaking terms and it requires Sissi giving Yumi a part in the play.

The Mountain zone is under attack. Aelita is chased by Blox. Because Odd is fired from the play, he is the only one going to the Virtual World, However, XANA has snuck  into the Scanner and Sapped all of his avatar's strength. Jeremie is left running from the Spectre, tripping and falling into sewer water, but like a swarm of bees the cloud patiently waits for The Boy to climb onto solid ground! At the play, Yumi is now a guard and Sissi gets her wish, Ulrich is now Romeo, the price her had to pay to get Yumi in the play.

A frail Odd finds Aelita, but not even the Neutral Tower's life restoring Qualities aids his diminished condition.

The Play is so terrible that when XANA attacks, no one is none the wiser. Back in the sewer, Xana is steadfast waiting for Jeremie to surface and to gas him, or watch him drown. On Lyoko, Odd and Aelita head through a maze to get to a tower, Odd has a vision of the exit, bit is too weak to go on. Hearing Odd's voice this restrained is as frightenening as hearing Yumi Choking laughter this choking  brings Yumi's parents together. Jeremy returns to the Factory and uses what little willpower being gassed to activate the return to the past! And so the Episode Ends with Jeremie sabotaging the play to get Yumi's parents together in this time

The way Episode 16, Claustophobio Starts off, you'll mistake it for an episode of Imazuna Eleven, or given it's French, Street Football (By the way Street Football had the best intro song ever, it's just a same the Irish, Welsh, and Scottish language channels got redubbing rights and..well, noone watches IRISH Language programmes!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2usKp5vHcFo

Where was i again? oh yeah...
Sissi's Toadies are losing a game of soccer to our heroes 7 to nothing, Until A new student called Theo arrives, who has a thing for Sissi, angering Herve, her Minion With A Crush! At Dinner Herve makes up that Theo needs to pass an initiation to get into the gang.

Jeremie sends Aelita to the forest to gather data Xana uses to virtualise as a spectre, however, Xana has left out many base codes, so Jeremie cannot use them as is!

It's almost like Lyoko may have a FIFTH Zone, one where Xana fully resides!
...
NNNNNNAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Theo goes on his initiation to mummify the skeleton in the Science Lab, but Herve plans to drop a dime on Theo to Jim, so he get's expellled, that's when Ulrich and Odd pranks Herve and Nicolas with a pillow case and Kiwi to make a Ghost Dog!

Overnight Xana attacks the Cafeteria and Electrifies the walls, trapping Ulrich, Odd, Sissi and her Goons, Theo and The Junior Reporters inside. Odd get Electrocuted. Despite Yumi warning the Teachers, cutting the power does nothing to free the students.

Yumi and Aelita are on their own in the Forest Zone. A hidden tower and interconnecting Plateaus have made finding said tower almost impossible, But Time is still Reversed, this time making Theo fall for Yumi, it's to stop Xana from using the fact they were all together in one place to launch an attack. but Ulrich is pissed off about...despite Theo never being mentioned again!

We are about to log off, Next time we finally get an Odd centric episode, but we have to go through an YumixUlrchxSissi episode and we can't get enough of them right(?) In Part 10-Odd Sounds

When we all...
RETURN TO THE PAST,

NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST NOW: EPISODES 13-14

I'm back with my retrospective of the French cult classic cartoon series, right before i turn all my energies towards Wrestlemania

Today's First Episode Just in Time (though the episode is referred to as By A Hair's Breadth, You'll get that joke in a Minute!) is a very action packed episode, for the reason that according to the Co-Creator Thomas Astruc, Originally the season's were going to be 13 episodes long, however after seeing that the majority of Cartoon Network's own Cartoons were 10 minutes with no storyline arc,


and the other 3rd party cartoon had a longer season and more storyline progression in it's season end, they decided to increase the season to 25 and make that episode, the episode Aelita comes to Earth that way if they get cancelled at least they did that much!

Once again Jeremie Belpois' Mission to realize (that is to say turn a program into a person) continues. The Program in question, Aelita an AI Capable of Deactivating Virus infected towers in the Virtual world of Lyoko. Jeremie Decides to attack the problem in a different way. Later on he Hurriedly rushes to the Others Ulrich Stern and his maybe/will be girlfriend Yumi Ishiyama are sparing whilst Odd Dela Robbia plays with his dog Kiwi, despite Dogs not being allowed here at the Boarding School, KADIC

Jeremie excitedly reveals his discovery

                         -Ulrich: you Realized a test-tube?

                         -Jeremie: I realized what's in the test-tube, you Airhead!

Sure enough, inside is a small pink hair, the same shade of hair that Aelita wears. though looking at much Jeremie is blushing he never specified WHERE the hair came from!

EEW!

Deciding to realize Aelita tonight, the group head for lunch, Once again Secondary Villain, Sissi Delmas, Ulrich's Stalker with a Crush and Asian Antagonizer, blackmails the group about harbouring Kiwi in her father's school, so Ulrich can go out with her. Yumi gets so mad the glass in her gripped hand breaks, giving her a cut, and making Sissi's pants be darkened that she doesn't annoy the group for a whole episode!

Odd goes to feed Kiwi who has being howling nonstop. then the glass in the dorm room Shatters. XANA, The Primary Villain, A Human -Despising Terrorist Computer Program From Lyoko Is Using the Electrical Sockets to Create Sonar Waves Powerful enough for Dogs to hear and to break Buildings.

Jeremie Activates The Realization Problem, but there is a problem, On top of it not working, Removing one hair has being the equivalent of not carrying the 1 in a formula, in other words, Aelita's program is now bugged,  and if she deactivates a tower. her data will be erased. Not help by the fact Odd has left his untrained, and unhousebroken dog with Jeremie, Who despite turning the screen Aelita catches a peek at Jeremie fighting Kiwi over a pair of Stolen Boxer Shorts.

"A PEEK? CAN'T I HAVE ONE LITTLE PEEK? A FUCKING PEEK?

Kiwi is returned, but then Xana attacks, Splitting the school in two and Trapping Odd, Kiwi and The Junior Reporters in the Ruins.

With no choice, Jeremie has to Virtualize Ulrich and Yumi to the Forest Zone, where the Frustration of everything has made the team get ambushed, by all things, the Fecking Kankrelauts

THESE! THE COMIC RELIEF MINIONS!

With some krabbes joining the party. Bunkered in a root system, Aelita, when the other's backs are turned, make a run for it and deactivates the tower. Despite Jeremie activating the Return to the past program, it can never bring back anyone who died or had there Data erased by Xana. Until Yumi brings up a point-if Aelita's hair contains her DNA, Then surely the Genome can be processed as a computer code and the girl cloned as a back-up program? Jeremie confirms and Aelita is back!

Always back up your files, kids!

Episode 14-the trap has alot going against it, namely that 5 minutes is a montage of the classroom scenes from all 13 previous episodes. I get it animation is a costly enterprise so using cells and scenes over again is a common practice, I reuse jokes on my blogs too, so i can give out too much...this feels lazy in comparison! 

7 minutes in and the plot arrives, namely XANA taking control of the factory to set a trap. After Finishing a test in record time, Jeremie remembers it's being a year to the day he activated the Super Calculator, So when the others finish, he plans to tell them he wants to hold a "birthday" for Aelita. Once Again Sissi just can't stay away, First Jeremie and odd arrive since Ulrich and Yumi have Martial arts classes. when they arrive they find the elavotor not functioning so they must travese the machinery floor and the boiler room.

The Machinery and the assembly line is possessed and attacks the boys. The second half of the gang, and an unwelcome Sissi enter the elavotor and it crashes with speed to the basement floor, braking Ulrich's arm

With no-one coming, it's finally happened, Aelita has stopped being a Load!, and gets HERSELF! to the infected tower in the Desert zone,  though it doesn't help that the Krabbes, XANA'S Secondary troops are on patrol, however despite not being able takes or be destroyed forever, or armed, or any offensive powers, she does lure the krabbe to a Pillar Maze and uses her Creativity to dissolve a Pillar Maze underfoot, er...underclaw, scoring the little elf girl her 1st kill!

Surviving the Machinery Floor, Jeremie and Odd must run for their lives to avoid steam and shrapnel, a piece of which bursts a pipe, filling the Elevator shaft with water. Yumi climbs up, despite a fear of heights. Sissi patches up Ulrich with a sling...somehow! no clothing was removed and neither where wearing anything white as the bandage! Sissi complains that she does this because she wants attention and even though she may never get over Yumi with him, she wants Ulrich to at least be nice to her, he promises he will if they survive drowning.

Odd and Yumi finally make it to Lyoko, but they soon die! Aelita deactivates the tower and the return brings them to Jemremies room including Ulrich and his arm healed. they hold a birthday party for for Aelita, with Sissi and her henchbullies eavesdropping, until Ulrich turns and winks at Sissi, as Nicolas and Herve laugh at "the birthday party for a computer" (couldn't they hear Aelita?) Sissi obligated by a promise she doesn't remember tells Herve and Nicolas off! ("You know nothing of trends! in fact i expect a cake from you both tomorrow...for my makeup table's birthday! ")

Next time the danger only increase as the Season one finale comes closer! we are logging off! but soon we have Episode 15-16, when we RETURN TO THE PAST!

NOW!  

EPISODE 139: FUCK VALENTINES DAY!: PART 2

Recap: Storyline 1=Reed Proposed to Morley, who fears commitment
2=A Sportscaster is forced to do a man on the street assignment, despite this being his day off
3=Julia wishes her boyfriend will propose, oblivious that he is still Married.
4=Jason has forgotten it's Valentines Day, his girlfriend is also a call-girl on the quiet!
5=Estella and Edgar are an elderly couple parenting their grandson Edison, who has a secret crush.
6=Two strangers, one in the military, wake up under a blanket during a long flight!
7=Bi-polar Paula, Jason's and Liz' boss, notices her switchboard is full of Perverts!
8=Sean, an injured Footballer, considers his life options
9=Kara, Seans Publicist, is throwing an anti Valentine's day dinner
10=2 high school sweethearts consider losing their virginity, despite advice from Moronic friends

(When People say, "There's no upbeat songs about a Break-up!" i say....)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH2j6dKPwxo


Back in Storyline 8, a distracted Sean up-ends Mario Lopez' truck and share insurance, but the pang has damaged the backdoor and plenty of deliveries including Edison's are destroyed! Worse still storyline 11 is about the Joke stealing Hack. Turns out Grace (Emma Stone) is Edison's babysitter. Cara is upset that noone is going to be at her dinner. Morley (Alba) has Left Reed (DUDE, WHERES MY CAREER?) , Who has realized that he wouldn't have intervened in telling Liz (Garner) that Harrison (Patrick Dempsey) is a scumbag if he didn't love her, Circumventing airport security to tell her (I'm not one for making Current Affairs Jokes, but he'd be dead if he tried that now!) Julia Roberts has changed into her civilian clothes, despite the fact when she lands she has mere hours before she's on duty again. Hearing that Sean is making a press conference, Calvin (Foxx) goes to Cara's(Biel) office to confirm. The 2 bond over their hatred of Valentine's Day!


Because of this, Calvin's cameraman has now took over his assignment, now at the high-school we no get a face full, (JUST LIKE SHE GET'S EVERY NIGHT!) Of Taylor Swift's bad, bad BAD! Acting! Turn's out Willy's (Lautner) and Felicia's (Swift) relationship is purely superficial

WHAT? TAYLOR SWIFT IN A RELATIONSHIP SOLELY BASED ON LOOKS?

I NEVER KNEW!

Meanwhile Jason (Topher Grace) is still wondering how to surprise Liz on Valentine's Day. In Storyline 5 Edison's flowers can't be found, let alone delivered, Edison is not the only one with problems, as it turns out Estelle has being keeping a secret from Edgar. Edison sneaks out to the Florist to get his money back!

Estella confesses to cheating behind Edgar's back years ago. Back on the Plane. Julia notices that the same Stewardess that put them in this awkward situation, for a point of reference

...can't stop making goo-goo eyes at Bradley Cooper!....well stewardess!..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVxO12qXZkQ

you'll find out later!

Edison has stalked his teacher to the hospital. there she learns that Doctor Scumbag is indeed married!

The Big Announcement from Sean is that he is not retiring...He's Gay! In A restaurant Julia poses as a waitress to get a subtle revenge on Harrison...and if calling him a pig in front of his wife doesn't work, then maxing out his credit card for a food delivery to Cara's Party just might!

Jason Pays for his Tardiness by having a dinner in an overcrowded hotel restaurant, just then Liz (Hathaway) gets a call girl call on her phone and is outed by her boyfriend, just as behind her Morley books a room for the night. The Plane touches down and it's revealed Cooper is a rich man of some sort! who gives the Captain his limo for the night! Edison has reached the Florists demanding flowers, Reed who's depressed about losing the girl (TWICE!) Gives him "Well The Time is Right " flower (probably forgot about that didn't you?"

The Anti-Valentines Day party is in an Indian Restaurant owned by the family of a girl in Edison's class. In a Cemetery, Edgar and Jason watch a film. turns out Estella use to be an actress, and the film is one of hers. Edison is caught by Grace, because for plot convenience, her boyfriend is a delivery boy for the Restaurant , Estella finds Edgar and apologizes her apology a word for word copy for dialougue in the film shown in the background. Jason gets up and leaves angrily, him like the many others, thinking it was fake!

Edison gives his teacher the flower, however the teacher kindly rescinds the gift letting him know that Sari might like him. Grace tells Alex she is not ready, Which is a sigh of relief, because neither is he!

So Lets Finish this!
Paula gets one of Liz's Dirty Calls and plays along, Reed closes the shop, George returns home, Edgar and Estella dance in the Cementary, Bradley Turns out to be Sean's Lover in the biggest Twist in the film, Jason forgives Liz, Cara and Calvin is now a couple, bonded over how much they hate Valentine's Day...until now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxqMDR9gf-Y

And in another twist, The Captain is Edison's mother! Julia and Reed are a couple now, leaving Morley and Harrison alone....The latter deserved it, but Morley? Bit Harsh! AND we get out-takes in the credits because if your Comedy can't be funny during it's screentime...then you just wasted a whole film!

Due to this being 11 storylines, Each will be judged Separately
REED'S STORYLINE DIDN'T SUCK...DESPITE KUSHNER!
Actually Dude, Where's My Career? naive florist is the few characters to have any growth in this film. However the Flower market comes off as a United Nations of Offensive Accents (Yassir Misser Leed, I Have your Frowers!) Mind you the treatment of someone not ready to marry was harsh!

THE CALVIN STORYLINE SUCKED!
Why Give Jamie Foxx so little screen time?

The JULIA AND HARRISON STORYLINE DIDN'T SUCK
Actually When Julia got her revenge i felt like...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJbmB9k2Y88

THE JASON STORYLINE SUCKED
THERE IS LIVING YOUR CAREER, AND THERE IS BEING A POSTBOY IN THIS FILM, WHERE YOUR TROLLEY IS SEEMINGLY SURGICALLY ATTACHED TO YOUR ARMS, LIMITING YOUR CAPACITY TO ACT! Also the crowded Restaurant scene? so predictable but lot of these were! "Excuse Me, You are Drinking MY water!"

THE ESTELLA, EDGAR AND EDISON STORYLINE WAS SOLID!
Edison's predictable crush on his teacher and the cheesy Film Verbatim apology aside, Shirley Maclaine and Hector Elizondo had good Chemistry and the sentiment was there . Despite having an affair and keeping it a secret for years, This was an actress who gave up fame for love.

THE AEROPLANE SCENE DIDN'T SUCK!
Actually it was responsible for not one but TWO Twist endings, and with a paint by numbers film like this, i was so glad!

THE LIZ AND BI-POLAR PAULA STORYLINE SUCKED!
Though it was kinda hot to hear Anne Hathaway talking Dirty, Queen Latifah was just like Music Career outside of America...A non entity!

THE SEAN STORYLINE DIDN'T EVEN BELONG!
"The Love Of The Game" is not a thing! Even in a film exploring the many facets of love!

THE ANTI-VALENTINES DAY DINNER DIDN'T SUCK!
....I've sang that song! When you are alone on this GODAWFUL! day, the whole world seems to rub it in!

THE STORYLINE WITH TAYLOR SWIFT SUCKS! JUST LIKE HER EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!
Emma Roberts who can act, gets less screen like than Swift and Lautner who can't?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxqMDR9gf-Y

THE GEORGE LOPEZ STORYLINE SUCKED!
Don't be a joking stealing hack Kids!

AND NOW, THE NEXT CHAPTER OF SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN!
(In Joe-Jack's Village of Butt-Craic, Mary owned Da Shop! Like every smalltime Shopkeeper, Mary had her hands in many pies, her eyes on the money, and Her Nose in everyone's business! Her shop was also the post office, the bus stop, the internet cafe, the social services, undertakers (ran by her husband!) and the Florist for the Church. Some Out of Towners was getting married so it was at that Capacity she meet the couple...and that's when she let her opinions over-run her usual Tunnel vision for Money!)

"Father Leech, OI AM NOT SUPPLYING ME FLOWAH'S FER THAT SCANDALOUS DISPLAY INSIDE!"
"-MARY, YE CAN'T DENY DEM ANYMORE! DA LAW IS LAW AND LOVE IS LOVE AND UNDER THE LORD'S BLESSING IT WILL JUSTIFIED LIKE EVERYONE ELSES
"WHAT ABOUT DA BIBLE? PREFERABLY DA BITZ ABOU' "THEM PEOPLE!" BEING STONED!

(Inside an effeminate man stood in the cloister. He was joined by another who draped his arms around him in comfort and kissed his cheek)
THEY ARE TAKING ABOUT US! OH I KNEW DOING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!
-NOT THE MARRAIGE? YOU ARE NOT HAVING COLD FEET?
-Nononono! Julian, I love you! I mean getting married in such a horrible place!
-Stewart, this place has it's own charm! just look at the Stained Glass windows!

(Stewart did look, he looked at the Cruxifiction and said "hey, Jesus! You would understand, you had 2 Fathers", until something strange happened. Both pierced hands started to "bleed". Thinking it was a trick of the light at first, the blood pooled under the window and formed into the ghost of the Wicked Child!
" you are Wrong!"
-Excuse me?
WROOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG! 

The word reverberated in the pews, knocking down things setting fire to the flowers, the outline of the spectre becoming fiery edges, the heat and the shockwave forcing back the gays!
Then she moved.
each step burning carpet and spilled items underfoot!
Stewart and Julian didn't think twice.  they ran out and got into their car and never returned!)

CREDITS
Valentine's day was Reviewed, compiled and Edited into 2 Parts by Eamonn Bermingham
With Music and Media from:
In Part 1:
I hate Everything about you by 3 days Grace
Chris Rock Live
That 70's Show

Part2
"Break Up!" from Digimon Adventure 02
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Star Trek
WWE RAW
Wrestling Isn't Wrestling
All Media belong to their respected Owners

"Valentine's Day" was Produced by New Line Cinema and Distributed by Warner Bros.
All rights Reserved!

NEXT MONTH:
DUE TO MY OTHER PASSION BEING WRESTLING, WRESTLEMANIA WILL BE MY HORIZON FOR A WHILE, SO UNTIL APRIL I WILL RETURN TO THE PAST NOW! ON MY SIDE PROJECT OF CODE LYOKO! THE NEXT FILM REVIEW WILL BE MARS NEEDS MOMS IN APRIL!