EPISODE 130: EAMONN REVIEWS 27 DRESSES PART 2

(Previously on Bogger Box Office....
This Month's theme from the soundtrack: Elton John-Benny and the Jets:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5rQHoaQpTw
Jane (Katherine Heigl) loves weddings!

So much so that this woman with tons of disposable income, free time and 20 plus female friends that make her their Wedding Planner (read: Pushover who ran the party for free!) in the naive hope that they will return the favour when she gets married!

Kevin (James Marsden) hates Weddings!
....so it's a good thing he is not a Commitments writer for the local Newspaper in New York! OH WAIT HE IS! After the 2 meet, James plans to tail the world's most prolific bridesmaid for a story that is really about his jaded views on Weddings! Throw in the Mix that Jane's Slutty Sister, Tess (Malin Akerman) has gotten her hooks into Jane's Boss by lying about sharing his interests, and now they are getting married with Jane planning the party...IN 3 WEEKS!

Naturally, Jane's contacts are pissed about having that short amount of time to work with. When Kevin arrives Tess introduces Him to Jane has the writer she likes. Jane is taken aback that such beautiful words came from such a jaded man.

Hours Later, and Kevin arrive's at Jane's for his piece on Tess and George's Wedding, when he comes across Jane's brimming closet of Bridesmaid Dresses, To prove that Weddings are nothing more Than Cynical Living Advertisements, he asks that she try each dress on and tell the story behind each dress. In another Montage, Jane has being to almost every wedding imaginable, she has bridesmaided for Southern Belles and Pornstars, she was at a Japanese Wedding, a Western themed Wedding (despite not being able to ride a horse) a wedding where the males wore dresses and the women whore suits. She has even bridesmaided underwater!

27 DRESSES (26 DRESSES AND A PANTSUIT, IF YOU ARE BEING TECHNICAL!) later and Kevin asks her "Why?" to which Jane answers that one day when she meets "The One" that she hopes all her friends will return the favour, Kevin's boss is getting impatient and wants to run the story now! At a white goods store, Jane is getting stir crazy buying household goods for her less than capable sister and the man she stole! The Crux of Kevin's hatred of weddings is out of him being jilted at the alter, and the only opening at the Times was that in the Commitments Page, only deepened his cynisism. The paper plans to run his original story that will make Jane look like a spineless kook , Tess a slut and George dumb as dirt! But Kevin feeling sorry for Jane asks for more time!

At a dinner, Kevin stirs the pot with Jane that she is not over George. Giving that the crew of this film also created Leap Year, let's Blatantly steal one of it's plotlines, an argument in a thunderstorm, that causes  the car to break down and to stay in a hotel where a moron behind the counter ASSUMES they are a couple and they have to share a room! The two leads are too angry to go the room so they get drunk and ruin the song "Benny and Jets" Forever, Ending with them kissing in front of the Drunk Rabble!

But the paper has ran the old story Putting Jane and Tess in a bad light, exposing all her feelings about the wedding, But Jane is Easily forgiven, only because a PROFESSIONAL wedding Planner costs money, Until Tess reveals she has altered their Mother's Wedding Dress and pisses Jane off!

What's wrong Jane? she didn't ruin it, she Just Shortened It So She Can Wear It Again!

Angry that Tess Stole George by Pretending to have his Interests, Jane gives her sister an Ultimatum: TELL THE TRUTH, OR I WILL!

The Rehearsal Dinner and Jane is out for Revenge, but when all your family and friends are Assholes that do nothing but take advantage of you for years, then this is a long time coming, But the wedding is off after exposing her sister as a slut and a liar in a slideshow...but she feels bad about it! Mainly because George can't see the wood for the trees on why she did it! Also Sitting at the table for a big helping of Crow is Kevin who came to apologize.

Having resolved that Tess's Life has being a hedonistic Trainwreck without Jane being there, Jane trashes all her bridesmaids dresses until she gets a call from George the last minute, he needs a date for a business dinner, Once again George says the wrong thing "That's what I like about you, you can Never Say No" she confesses her crush and kisses him, but feels nothing, she thought the kiss with the one would feel different, like the one she had with....YEP! THE GUY SHE THOUGHT SHE HATED!

So Let's Finish this
Jane realizes Kevin is "The One" and is informed he is doing his final wedding tonight (which is strange because...it wasn't Never hinted that Kevin was Leaving New York if he got promoted. Like, AT ALL!) On a barge on the East River, The cabbie that picked up Jane for the double shift gives her a freebee (only because seeing the girl changing dresses in his cab was it in itself, a freebee! she vaults onto the moving barge, where she is recognized by the bride and now this woman, on her own special day helps the woman that make the special day even more, and helps her find Kevin and confesses her feelings to him

A year later, Jane and Kevin got married, George and Tess decide to give it one more chance, Jane gets married in her mother's dress (completely restored) and is married outside because all of the brides are returning the favour as bridemaids, all 27 of them in the dresses Jane Wore!

THIS FILM SUCKS!...BUT ONLY BECAUSE I THINK IT SUCKS!

I would never thing this will happen, but i found my own flaming ball of mediocrity, Everything about this film was so middle of the road. The acting was ok, the plot was never going to be Inception, and the cinematography? Oh look it's based in New York, there's hardly any films based there(!)

I didn't like the film, but it wasn't stupid, or offensive, or memorable in any way. it was just...there!

NEXT MONTHS FILM! DIFFERENT STORY!

"I HAVE NO MOUTH, BUT NOW I MUST SCREAM!

CREDITS

27 DRESSES Was reviewed, compiled and edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)

With Media from

In Part 1

Elena: Disco Romancing

the Simpsons

and In Part 2

Elton John-Benny and the Jets

Grown Ups!

27 DRESSES was produced by 20 Century Fox, All rights Reserved.

All Media used belongs to their respective owners!

NEXT MONTH:

YOU THINK I WAS FOOLIN'? WE ARE REALLY DOING THIS SHIT!

EPISODE 129: EAMONN REVIEWS 27 DRESSES PART 1

This film is a long time coming!
You may remember the very 1st chapter of my storyline, it seems eons ago, that a meteor sent the film that would be the jumping point to my adventures.
The Most Racist Film Ever Made- Leap Year!

It's selling point was that it was from the makers of this month's film, so I have very little hopes for this film!
(this week's theme-conspicous from it's absence from 3 tickets this year The Catchiest Song In The World!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fpc4AUaHhY


Even the Cover is Uninspiring. A white Backdrop with a pink tinted Stock Photo of NYC, And in front, the Princess Of Prissiness herself, Katherine Heigl, posing with a wedding dress superimposed on to her body!

Our Film starts with a flashback and Katherine narrating on the day she found her purpose in life, at a wedding after her mother died, fixing a wedding dress with her sister's bow at age 7, made her become a wedding planner, liking herself to Mozart!

We Cut to 20 plus later, An Jane is trying on a wedding Dress...for a woman who shares her measurements. So is this a this a wedding planner would do, if asked, because wearing another woman's wedding dress seems almost psychotic!

Travelling in most Realistic New York I've seen on Film. (I was almost waiting for someone to pull  a gun on Heigl, but sadly no!) As a Bridemaid to several friends of different faiths, infact tonight she has to bridemaid at 2 wedding at the same time. one Christian and one Hindi, renting a taxi for the night as she changes from a dress to a sari and vice versa, the Montage shows that both wedding parties were similar right down to every sequential detail , until she is knocked over for "comedy" during the tossing of bouqet!

She Comes to and is Revived by a handsome Man who had noticed Jane's strange behavior. This is Kevin (James Marsden), who has booked a cab for the shaken wedding Planner. He is taken aback on why anyone would voluntarily go to a wedding party, let alone 2 at the same time! Jane says that it's because he friends appreciate how well she throws these parties.

Oh, both women were really Appreciative when they both said to your face that they were (ACTUAL QUOTE FROM THE FILM) "Shorten the dress so they can wear it again!"

Turns out the Male Lead in Katherine Heigl film is A Chauvinistic He-man Woman Hater!

I'm Going to Ruin the Surprise of part 2 and put this here!

"FIRST THEY HATE EACH OTHER....YOU KNOW THE REST!

...In the Taxi, Kevin finds that Jane has let fer filofax behind, this man who is a newspaper writer plans to exploit her in a tell-all expose on this kooky stranger who didn't sleep with him on sight! Kevin is a reporter stuck in the newspaper's commitments section. For Reasons that will be revealed, but are already obvious 20 minutes in, Kevin Really Hates Weddings! So he uses the stolen Filofax to leverage a story about Jane, whilst it is really about it being a story about "GRRRRR! WEDDING BAD! CAPITALISM BAD! MONOGAMY BAD!"

Meanwhile Jane has her own story arc, An Unrequited Love With her Boss. You see, Jane is not a PROFESSIONAL wedding Planner, merely a pushover, with too much time and equal Disposable Income due to being the P.A. of The Boss of a...Unspecified Company! Kate and George are going to Rose McGowan's engagement partner, But First Jane's sister (Malin Akerman, who has become curvy and incredibly more sexy since Watchmen, She looks like Jessica Simpson...IF JESSICA SIMPELTON COULD ACT!) Tess has returned from Italy, Jane, being the pushover that she is, agrees that her freeloading sister stay with her! Tess' presence annoys the prissy and anal Jane, Jane finds scrapbookings of the Commitments page all by the same Writer, who Jane admires

FORESHADOWING!

As Kevin Infiltrates the engagement Party at a Gothic Night Club, Jane thinks George bought her flowers she got this morning. Compound that George just fell for Tess who invited herself to this party, with Jane on her way to ask George out, she instead hooks up her boss with her Sister. They hit it by them joking about how much Jane is a pushover-WITH HER STANDING THERE! Only to find out, Kevin sent the flowers. He Returns the filofax, but not before revealing he read some of it.

After Recovering her Filofax, she has found that Kevin has defaced some Pages with his phone number.

At a baseball game, Jane is almost disgusted be Tess pretending to be interested in the same things George is, even claiming to be Vegetarian as he is!

Another Montage on the Hell Jane has made for herself, ending with George proposing to Tess!, the Final Straw should be Dad giving Tess their Mother's Wedding Dress, But I'm watching this Screaming "GROW A FUCKING SPINE!" At the screen!

Having finally succumbed to Kevin's Pestering, Jane has a drink with Him. Kevin thinks That Jane has a problem saying no to people. To Further annoy her sister, Tess wants to be married in the same boatclub their mother was...IN 3 WEEKS TIME!

WILL JANE PULL OFF THE WEDDING PARTY ON SHORT NOTICE? WHAT PLANS DOES JAMES HAVE THE NEWSPAPER? WHAT WILL I LOSE FIRST, MY LUNCH OR MY MIND? 

 FIND OUT ON  THE 1ST OF JULY! ONLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!

EPISODE 128: OLD SCHOOL (UNSEEN VERSION)

Breather Episode, mainly to process somehow the events of the last few months, Years ago I reviewed the somewhat forgettable Vaughn/Wilson film, the Internship. Years of doing the wild party shtick had them run on fumes on that caper, but This month's film, is arguably  their "best" showing-Old School
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WccfbPQNMbg
But does that film even hold up?

Reviewing the "Unseen" Version, the dvd version with more nudity than the cinema Release (Mostly Ferrell being naked!) , Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, and a Brunette Luke Wilson stand in a Blurry Party scene with Ferrell holding a sex doll whilst making a funny face. the funny thing? Vaughn is standing right behind Ferrell and we can't see his hands!

The film starts with Mitch (Wilson), a realtor who cuts out of a seminar early to catch a flight back to Sacramento, only to find his wife having an orgy!

We abruptly cut to a wedding,  and Mitch is now a best man giving away his friend, Frank (Ferrell), along with his other best man "Beanie", Beanie being played by Vaughn, naturally is typecasted to have a cynical view on Marriage, "I Have a wife and a kid, do I look happy to you? You are Going to be a One Vagina Man for the rest of your life!" ACTUAL QUOTE FROM THIS FILM!)

The Marriage is Doomed from the Start, the First Dance is Bonnie Tyler's Turn Around Bright Eyes, a song that has lyrics that could be Constructed to be a Warning! Mitch, who like all sad single men at a wedding, gets pissed and support the wall until Nicole, an ex-girlfriend comes up to him. Mitch is too drunk to even remember motor skills, and Spills coffee on her, trying to fix it makes it look like a lewd act!

We Cut again to Mitch's new House, One Practically on Campus off the local College, Vaughn, off course, wants to hold a Wild And Sexy Party! Though Married, Marissa is concerned the party will bring out Frank's Alter Ego, "Frank the Tank", Frank tells his wife not to Worry.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNDDD FIVE MINUTES LATER, FRANK IS STREAKING!

With a cameo by Snoopy Poopy Dogg Dogg Lion, or whatever his name is! The 3 men are in so much Trouble, Frank is the only one streaking, and is picked up by a car that hold all the 3 mens' significant others! Compound the Next day, the Dean (Jeremy Piven) turns out to be a former nerd who was bullied by 3 boys in school, now due to zoning changes, Mitch's Home is now College Property.

With the house rezoned, The boys decide In For A Penny and launch the house as a new Fraternity, Mitch finds out that the Girl he slept with at the Party (Elisha Cuthbert) is his boss' daughter,....AND IS UNDERAGE! Frank is thrown out because of his behavior!

So the Boys start Kidnapping And Hazing Pledges. A Co -worker of Mitch wants in and is willing to Blackmail Mitch to do so! Mitch's Rep as the "Godfather" is really choking any chance he has with Nicole, Frank looks in at Marissa's "Blow job Class", puts 2 and 2 together and attacks the instructor (Played by The King of the Extras, the constantly overlooked Andy Dick) and gets his ass kicked

The Next Hazing is to make the Pledges into unpaid Party entertainers for Mitch's son's Birthday, Mitch is shocked that Nicole has a young daughter and a boyfriend, One with a roving eye. as Nicole sings his Praises, we are shown right behind her Mark and A caterer are getting it on! Mitch Catches them but Nick plays his trump card, saying Mitch will be "less than a man" if he tells. Frank shoots himself with a tranq gun and faceplants into the cake, falls backwards into a pool and drowns. He tongues Sean Williamson Scott when he gives Frank mouth to mouth, Making him throw Frank back in again!

Back to Events that resemble a plot, Dean Pritchard has planted a spy on campus. Mitch tries to tell Nicole about Mark, but doesn't have the heart to tell her!

At the House, the Boys host a topless wrestling event for Octogenarian Frat Boy, Blue. For all his big talk, Beanie is too scared of his wife to cheat on her (But then again, Vaughn's wife in this film Played by Leah Remini, and if she can break free from the brainwashing of  Holy Pyramid Scheme that is Scientology, she sure as hell won't put up with your shit!) the sight of boobs makes Blue have a heart attack and die! Frank's Partying has become so much, he forgot his OWN BIRTHDAY! It's enough to make Marissa leave him. Mark Lies To Nicole about the caterer saying he found Mitch sleeping with her, Confronting him, Mitch tries to intervene, but the bosses daughter makes a scene in front of Nicole and she storms out! Mitch Returns to see Eviction Notices all over the Frat House

With Mitch's one night stand with Darcy Public Knowledge, the co-workers who tried to blackmail Mitch are now asked to join the fraternity, and good thing to because Conveniently, they happen to be Lawyers!

They find out to count as a Fratnerity, They must excel in 5 trials of the Fraternal Code-Athletics, Academics, Debate, Charity and School Spirit. Because of a loop-hole, All the older members, that are not even students are eligible. The Guys clean their act up...but Pritchard has plans to fight Dirty!, As in the Debate Trail, He hires real life political commentator Jimmy Carville, But loses when Frank remembers a few things that where dormant in his brain whilst drunk!

Knowing that The Dean is playing Dirty, The Boys return in kind being wired to the lawyers who provide the answers to the Academics Test, But during the Spirit Test, Frank in a wolf costume is set on fire! However Pritchard's spy complains that she never got into Stanford because noone in Stanford knew who Gordon is. It seems that Gordon Pritchard...is not who he claims to be!
DUN DUN D......DOESN'T EVEN AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!

In the Athletics test, Pritchard has chosen Rhythmic Gymnastics as the final test, meaning in the space of 2 months I have to look at Beerguts and BallSacks in Leotards Again.

Somehow the Morbidly Obese Quentin is a latent Gymnast!

However Dean Pritchard still have revenge on his mind and closes down the Civilian Fraternity, because one menber did not compete-Blue!-you know the guy who died?

The spy plays a tape recording that has Pritchard confessing the Test fixings, that he has stolen.

So let's finish this!
Frank and the Dean fight in front of the students, Frank steals the tape, Dean Pritchard is fired, the students are safe, Mitch is leaving the house and Nicole  has left Mark for him, Frank becomes a college DJ and the Chartered Leader of the Civilians, During the Credits, a car accident kills off Gordon and Mark, Beanie fits into being a family man...by becoming on of those Jerks who shout at Children Soccer games and Frank being invited to an orgy by Mitch's ex-wife!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVvw-pusSLY

This film show us, that once upon a time, the Wilson/Vaughn partnership worked and wasn't going through the motion like it did in The Internship. Joining the 2 is Will Ferrell, who brings his child-like energy and complements Wilson's dramatic chops with Vaughn's Fast-talking Bravado. combined with a sweet and simple story of 3 men who want one last hurrah! and a great supporting cast and you have film with good laughs and strong storytelling!

However despite being "Unseen" a lot of the offensiveness of the Charity test and Mark calling Nicole's child Retarded was cut out! leaving plot-holes and making the violent death ending a bit mean!

However, the jokes are funny and the heart is there!

CREDITS
Old School was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham @RealEnli
With music and clips from
"Party Hard" by Andrew WK
The Simpsons
Adventure Time!

Old School was produced by Dreamworks. All Rights Reserved.
All media used belongs to there respected owners!

NEXT MONTH: A FILM SO DISPOSABLE, YOU CAN SHORTEN IT TO WATCH IT AGAIN!
A LONG TIME COMING, I FINALLY GET TO REVIEW 27 DRESSES!