(Previously on Bogger Box Office....
This Month's theme from the soundtrack: Elton John-Benny and the Jets:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5rQHoaQpTw
Jane (Katherine Heigl) loves weddings!
So much so that this woman with tons of disposable income, free time and 20 plus female friends that make her their Wedding Planner (read: Pushover who ran the party for free!) in the naive hope that they will return the favour when she gets married!
Kevin (James Marsden) hates Weddings!
....so it's a good thing he is not a Commitments writer for the local Newspaper in New York! OH WAIT HE IS! After the 2 meet, James plans to tail the world's most prolific bridesmaid for a story that is really about his jaded views on Weddings! Throw in the Mix that Jane's Slutty Sister, Tess (Malin Akerman) has gotten her hooks into Jane's Boss by lying about sharing his interests, and now they are getting married with Jane planning the party...IN 3 WEEKS!
Naturally, Jane's contacts are pissed about having that short amount of time to work with. When Kevin arrives Tess introduces Him to Jane has the writer she likes. Jane is taken aback that such beautiful words came from such a jaded man.
Hours Later, and Kevin arrive's at Jane's for his piece on Tess and George's Wedding, when he comes across Jane's brimming closet of Bridesmaid Dresses, To prove that Weddings are nothing more Than Cynical Living Advertisements, he asks that she try each dress on and tell the story behind each dress. In another Montage, Jane has being to almost every wedding imaginable, she has bridesmaided for Southern Belles and Pornstars, she was at a Japanese Wedding, a Western themed Wedding (despite not being able to ride a horse) a wedding where the males wore dresses and the women whore suits. She has even bridesmaided underwater!
27 DRESSES (26 DRESSES AND A PANTSUIT, IF YOU ARE BEING TECHNICAL!) later and Kevin asks her "Why?" to which Jane answers that one day when she meets "The One" that she hopes all her friends will return the favour, Kevin's boss is getting impatient and wants to run the story now! At a white goods store, Jane is getting stir crazy buying household goods for her less than capable sister and the man she stole! The Crux of Kevin's hatred of weddings is out of him being jilted at the alter, and the only opening at the Times was that in the Commitments Page, only deepened his cynisism. The paper plans to run his original story that will make Jane look like a spineless kook , Tess a slut and George dumb as dirt! But Kevin feeling sorry for Jane asks for more time!
At a dinner, Kevin stirs the pot with Jane that she is not over George. Giving that the crew of this film also created Leap Year, let's Blatantly steal one of it's plotlines, an argument in a thunderstorm, that causes the car to break down and to stay in a hotel where a moron behind the counter ASSUMES they are a couple and they have to share a room! The two leads are too angry to go the room so they get drunk and ruin the song "Benny and Jets" Forever, Ending with them kissing in front of the Drunk Rabble!
But the paper has ran the old story Putting Jane and Tess in a bad light, exposing all her feelings about the wedding, But Jane is Easily forgiven, only because a PROFESSIONAL wedding Planner costs money, Until Tess reveals she has altered their Mother's Wedding Dress and pisses Jane off!
What's wrong Jane? she didn't ruin it, she Just Shortened It So She Can Wear It Again!
Angry that Tess Stole George by Pretending to have his Interests, Jane gives her sister an Ultimatum: TELL THE TRUTH, OR I WILL!
The Rehearsal Dinner and Jane is out for Revenge, but when all your family and friends are Assholes that do nothing but take advantage of you for years, then this is a long time coming, But the wedding is off after exposing her sister as a slut and a liar in a slideshow...but she feels bad about it! Mainly because George can't see the wood for the trees on why she did it! Also Sitting at the table for a big helping of Crow is Kevin who came to apologize.
Having resolved that Tess's Life has being a hedonistic Trainwreck without Jane being there, Jane trashes all her bridesmaids dresses until she gets a call from George the last minute, he needs a date for a business dinner, Once again George says the wrong thing "That's what I like about you, you can Never Say No" she confesses her crush and kisses him, but feels nothing, she thought the kiss with the one would feel different, like the one she had with....YEP! THE GUY SHE THOUGHT SHE HATED!
So Let's Finish this
Jane realizes Kevin is "The One" and is informed he is doing his final wedding tonight (which is strange because...it wasn't Never hinted that Kevin was Leaving New York if he got promoted. Like, AT ALL!) On a barge on the East River, The cabbie that picked up Jane for the double shift gives her a freebee (only because seeing the girl changing dresses in his cab was it in itself, a freebee! she vaults onto the moving barge, where she is recognized by the bride and now this woman, on her own special day helps the woman that make the special day even more, and helps her find Kevin and confesses her feelings to him
A year later, Jane and Kevin got married, George and Tess decide to give it one more chance, Jane gets married in her mother's dress (completely restored) and is married outside because all of the brides are returning the favour as bridemaids, all 27 of them in the dresses Jane Wore!
THIS FILM SUCKS!...BUT ONLY BECAUSE I THINK IT SUCKS!
I would never thing this will happen, but i found my own flaming ball of mediocrity, Everything about this film was so middle of the road. The acting was ok, the plot was never going to be Inception, and the cinematography? Oh look it's based in New York, there's hardly any films based there(!)
I didn't like the film, but it wasn't stupid, or offensive, or memorable in any way. it was just...there!
NEXT MONTHS FILM! DIFFERENT STORY!
CREDITS
This Month's theme from the soundtrack: Elton John-Benny and the Jets:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5rQHoaQpTw
Jane (Katherine Heigl) loves weddings!
So much so that this woman with tons of disposable income, free time and 20 plus female friends that make her their Wedding Planner (read: Pushover who ran the party for free!) in the naive hope that they will return the favour when she gets married!
Kevin (James Marsden) hates Weddings!
....so it's a good thing he is not a Commitments writer for the local Newspaper in New York! OH WAIT HE IS! After the 2 meet, James plans to tail the world's most prolific bridesmaid for a story that is really about his jaded views on Weddings! Throw in the Mix that Jane's Slutty Sister, Tess (Malin Akerman) has gotten her hooks into Jane's Boss by lying about sharing his interests, and now they are getting married with Jane planning the party...IN 3 WEEKS!
Naturally, Jane's contacts are pissed about having that short amount of time to work with. When Kevin arrives Tess introduces Him to Jane has the writer she likes. Jane is taken aback that such beautiful words came from such a jaded man.
Hours Later, and Kevin arrive's at Jane's for his piece on Tess and George's Wedding, when he comes across Jane's brimming closet of Bridesmaid Dresses, To prove that Weddings are nothing more Than Cynical Living Advertisements, he asks that she try each dress on and tell the story behind each dress. In another Montage, Jane has being to almost every wedding imaginable, she has bridesmaided for Southern Belles and Pornstars, she was at a Japanese Wedding, a Western themed Wedding (despite not being able to ride a horse) a wedding where the males wore dresses and the women whore suits. She has even bridesmaided underwater!
27 DRESSES (26 DRESSES AND A PANTSUIT, IF YOU ARE BEING TECHNICAL!) later and Kevin asks her "Why?" to which Jane answers that one day when she meets "The One" that she hopes all her friends will return the favour, Kevin's boss is getting impatient and wants to run the story now! At a white goods store, Jane is getting stir crazy buying household goods for her less than capable sister and the man she stole! The Crux of Kevin's hatred of weddings is out of him being jilted at the alter, and the only opening at the Times was that in the Commitments Page, only deepened his cynisism. The paper plans to run his original story that will make Jane look like a spineless kook , Tess a slut and George dumb as dirt! But Kevin feeling sorry for Jane asks for more time!
At a dinner, Kevin stirs the pot with Jane that she is not over George. Giving that the crew of this film also created Leap Year, let's Blatantly steal one of it's plotlines, an argument in a thunderstorm, that causes the car to break down and to stay in a hotel where a moron behind the counter ASSUMES they are a couple and they have to share a room! The two leads are too angry to go the room so they get drunk and ruin the song "Benny and Jets" Forever, Ending with them kissing in front of the Drunk Rabble!
But the paper has ran the old story Putting Jane and Tess in a bad light, exposing all her feelings about the wedding, But Jane is Easily forgiven, only because a PROFESSIONAL wedding Planner costs money, Until Tess reveals she has altered their Mother's Wedding Dress and pisses Jane off!
What's wrong Jane? she didn't ruin it, she Just Shortened It So She Can Wear It Again!
Angry that Tess Stole George by Pretending to have his Interests, Jane gives her sister an Ultimatum: TELL THE TRUTH, OR I WILL!
The Rehearsal Dinner and Jane is out for Revenge, but when all your family and friends are Assholes that do nothing but take advantage of you for years, then this is a long time coming, But the wedding is off after exposing her sister as a slut and a liar in a slideshow...but she feels bad about it! Mainly because George can't see the wood for the trees on why she did it! Also Sitting at the table for a big helping of Crow is Kevin who came to apologize.
Having resolved that Tess's Life has being a hedonistic Trainwreck without Jane being there, Jane trashes all her bridesmaids dresses until she gets a call from George the last minute, he needs a date for a business dinner, Once again George says the wrong thing "That's what I like about you, you can Never Say No" she confesses her crush and kisses him, but feels nothing, she thought the kiss with the one would feel different, like the one she had with....YEP! THE GUY SHE THOUGHT SHE HATED!
So Let's Finish this
Jane realizes Kevin is "The One" and is informed he is doing his final wedding tonight (which is strange because...it wasn't Never hinted that Kevin was Leaving New York if he got promoted. Like, AT ALL!) On a barge on the East River, The cabbie that picked up Jane for the double shift gives her a freebee (only because seeing the girl changing dresses in his cab was it in itself, a freebee! she vaults onto the moving barge, where she is recognized by the bride and now this woman, on her own special day helps the woman that make the special day even more, and helps her find Kevin and confesses her feelings to him
A year later, Jane and Kevin got married, George and Tess decide to give it one more chance, Jane gets married in her mother's dress (completely restored) and is married outside because all of the brides are returning the favour as bridemaids, all 27 of them in the dresses Jane Wore!
THIS FILM SUCKS!...BUT ONLY BECAUSE I THINK IT SUCKS!
I would never thing this will happen, but i found my own flaming ball of mediocrity, Everything about this film was so middle of the road. The acting was ok, the plot was never going to be Inception, and the cinematography? Oh look it's based in New York, there's hardly any films based there(!)
I didn't like the film, but it wasn't stupid, or offensive, or memorable in any way. it was just...there!
NEXT MONTHS FILM! DIFFERENT STORY!
 |
| "I HAVE NO MOUTH, BUT NOW I MUST SCREAM! |
27 DRESSES Was reviewed, compiled and edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Media from
In Part 1
Elena: Disco Romancing
the Simpsons
and In Part 2
Elton John-Benny and the Jets
Grown Ups!
27 DRESSES was produced by 20 Century Fox, All rights Reserved.
All Media used belongs to their respective owners!
NEXT MONTH:
 |
| YOU THINK I WAS FOOLIN'? WE ARE REALLY DOING THIS SHIT! |
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