Eamonn Reviews Hobo with a Shotgun

WARNING: THIS MONTH'S FILM CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF GRAPHIC CONTENT: READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

No, you don't have to check your calendars, I'm doing an independent film studio horror, and it's not even October?
So why am I doing this?
Well , I think it's time I raised my game. While it seems like I'm the only text reviewer on the TGWTG Forum, I feel like I must up my game, even if I have no desire to make videos. And doing an obscure film will show off my range a bit more.

So with that we have no real storyline just reviews until I reach 100 episodes next year. And with that, Let's head down to THE ROAD TO 100! With Hobo With A Shotgun

After the trailer for Eyedroids (what do you reckon? should I review it?) I was hit with the theme music and it is...AWESOME! HAVE A TASTY LICK OF THIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mphmsbkm7d8

So the film begins as the eponymous Hobo (Rutger Hauer) Shuffling of an express train to a new city. However his fresh start is not what he envisioned as crime happens in broad daylight in the graffiti and garbage covered streets, he has to contend with not just the problems of the homeless but with the theatrical crime boss, The Drake who is introduced to us in grand fashion, decapitating his brother in a display of dominance over the city.

The hobo who picks up his wrecked trolley which was destroyed in the display, has a dream but it's a small one, he wants to earn money for a lawnmower so he can Earn his money for a change. But being elderly he is sick of being pushed around.

So he invades Drake's Arcade, where his dick sons, Slick and Ivan, get kids high on Cocaine and kill them with the rides and games.

When Slick attempts to traffic a girl, the hobo attack slick and brings him to the police, but the police are corrupt and Drake's boys ambush him and carve FUCK LAW Into his chest. Staggering with the loss of blood, he finds the girl he saved, Abbey and she returns the favour.

At her house. She explains to a stitched up hobo, that she is a prostitute because she has no choice, the hobo says years of being homeless has thought him 2 lessons, people always have a choice and people usually don't do the right thing on their own! When given a shirt with a bear on it, Hobo gives us a foreshadowing metaphor about how dangerous attacking a bear's family is and what to do when a bear gets a taste for blood.

The Next day, Hobo sees Abbey attacked by the other hookers, a paedophile dressed as Santa and he is accosted by filmmakers paying hobos and retards to do stupid things for money
(INSERT MTV REFERENCE HERE!)
Paid to chew glass by MTV, He uses it to pay for a lawnmower but the pawnshop gets robbed, he makes the decision, to use the 50 dollars that he has saved all his life to real use, Buys a shotgun and kills the robbers, MTV and Paedo Santa, in one day. Embarrassed that he didn't kill the hobo, the Drake tells slick and Ivan to stand out on their own, if they ever wanted to inherit his empire, So Slick and Ivan Kills a busload of children with flamethrowers as Disco Inferno plays in the background and a newscaster with ice-skates to send a message to the town: Either kill every hobo,  or Slick will kill every child in the city.

Frightened, and in hiding, we get a montage of Hobos killed in imaginative ways. It's not until Abbey needs saving (AGAIN!)  he shakes of this rut he's in.

While the 2 heroes try to escape the city, Slick and Ivan in their ice-skates attack them. Ivan gets electrocuted by accidently kicking a toaster and getting badly burned, while Slick who tries to rape Abbey(AGAIN!) Gets his dick blown off by the Hobo.

The Drake is saddened that his son has being killed that he has no choice but to hire the cyborg killers, The Plague to kill the hobo. The drake's Hookers are shocked as they are the only men the Drake fears.
In hospital, the hobo tells a recovered Abbey that he'll get the Drake 1 way or another.

The Plague, A ruthless band of Armoured Killers, separately named Rip and Grinder, storm the hospital their modus operandi his hanging their victims with harpoon guns. they capture the hobo before giving him a chance to reload. Abbey who has being nothing but a Dumbass in Distress for the whole film, picks up the gun for a rescue mission.

In the Plague's Castle, The hobo wakes in an iron maiden watching the Plague fight a giant Octopu...WHAT THE FUCK? I mean this is so out of place! I'm I the only 1 who thinks this is a little out of place? The plague is one thing, i'll let that slide, But a giant octopus....that's out there!

Abbey breaks into the pawn shop and customises the shotgun adding an axe-blade to the handle, weaponizing the lawnmower and having an Important Costume Change.

The drake plans to kill the Hobo the same way he killed his brother, but in front of the whole city, But Abbey Kills Grinder only for the drake to cut of her hand with the lawnmower, to the shock of the townspeople, he also kills Ivan for being a disappointment to him. Rip tells the Hobo that since Abbey killed Grinder she must replace him as a new member of the Plague. (This is infact the alternative Ending on the dvd release)

So let's wrap this up!
The hobo has the drake in his sights, the police surround the hobo, but the townspeople surround them with their guns. The hobo shoots the drake dead, but so is the Hobo, as the police are mowed down with bullets, all the while Abbey, bleeding slowly to death, cries and lets out a big "NO!" as the outro for the cartoon the Raccoons plays out.

THIS FILM IS HARD TO WATCH...BUT IT'S AWESOME ALL THE SAME!

Hobo With A Shotgun harkens back to the Grindhouses and Video Nasties of Yore: Big Hams and Hand-cams, No-one Actors, Blood, Gore and Hot Girls-All that good stuff! But HWASG Has a lot more going on-fleshed out characters, stark social commentary, A Tarintino-esque script and a twisted sense of humour. Some will hate the bear monologue that foreshadows the  downer ending, and if your tolerance for blood is low, give this a wide berth. For more adventurous types, get yourselves a copy.

CREDITS
Hobo with a Shotgun was Reviewed, compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham
With Music:
Pacer by Adam T Burke
Hobo with a shotgun is Distributed by Momentum Pictures, all rights reserved.

Next Month: Arthur and the great Adventure.