EAMONN REVIEWS DORA THE EXPLORER LIVE ACTION PART 1

 Years ago, the Online Comedy Channel, CollegeHumor Made a Parody of Michael Bay's Transformers, by Releasing a spoof trailer of an Edgy Spy drama of a Teenage Dora the Explorer, They even hired Modern Family star Ariel Winter to star in it. The clip became popular, helped in no small part by an Actress from an Emmy winning show. It was funny because no way in Hell would Hollywood take a show for Preschoolers from 15 years ago  and make it appealing for the now teenage audience.

.....AND THEY DID IT!!!!!

Let's Forget that this is attached to the world of a baby cartoon with the purpose of teaching Spanish and Hand and Eye Coordination to toddlers. Lets forget that Isabelle Moner, who was 17 is made to look as close to the 3 year old character as humanly possible. Let's forget about the GODAWFUL looking CGI animals. Let's talk about the extras who look like they have being just told what film they were hired for and the camera took their Photos at the time of their Disappointment setting in! Special attention going to the Baked-bean Shaped Headass TANNED WHITEBOY! Playing Dora's Cousin, Diego!

HOW DO I KNOW IT'S DIEGO?

Because they shoved the cheapest guy they can hire into a blue t-shirt and bomber jacket!

We open with a fake Disclaimer from a Fox Defamation League. Then reveal a flashback of a young Dora and Diego having adventures with their animal friends, and talking and singing Backpack and Map....Except it is all their imagination...except Boots is Real and Diego's Jaguar is not (and Neither is Swiper...Until he is? More on that later!) Well at least, Child Diego is actually Latin!. Playtime is interrupted when Mama Explorer (Eva Longoria) tells Diego it's time to go home!

Dora's Parents are Archaeological and Ecological Researchers, who live off Grid in a Sustainable Cabin by the River. Dora's Verbal tic of asking the Audience can they say a random Spanish word is lampshaded by Papa (Michael Pena) By asking "Who are you talking to?"  Thank god she doesn't do this all 90 minutes. I don't know How PhantomStrider made a career riffing this for years and me watching for 5 minutes makes me want to take a bath with Mr Toaster!

Diego is here having Dinner with his cousin's family (despite last scene being told to go home)

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_hUZEuSGA4

....Spies an Ancient map to an Ancient Inca City called Para Pata (I'M LOVING IT!-WITH APOLOGIES TO BERLEZZY!)

Wait...Inca, not Aztec?

Does that mean Dora is Not Mexican, But Chilean the Whole time?

Is it gonna stop me from making Anti-Trump Jokes if the need arises?

HELL NO!!

A Sharing a room with her cousin (again great Continuity guys!) They get into an argument stemming from the fact Diego is leaving for America.

10 years later and Dora (Isabelle Moner) is an excitable Teenager with an Imagination gone wild. though we can't tell. Pygmy elephants is Peru? yeah right. a crocodile in the river? Possible. But the reason i say you can't tell, is that all the animals are CGI, And not even Convincing CGI. They look like cartoon characters! The Verbal tic is now explained as she is a vlogger, her video diary to find Para Pata herself. She even finds a cave on her own, covered in Inca Pictograms and a very deep chasm, which she nearly dies from when she fails a running Jump

Silly Dora

You didn't ask the audience  count to 3 in Spanish first!

So it turns out in the cave Dora found, there was an Idol that Contains A map to Para Pata. Dora is excited to learn more. But her parents decide after today's fall to put her in an American High School! The Biggest Adventure of her life: Meeting people her own age. They even talk to their daughter about looking out for the biggest evil that hunts down Naive girls from the country. Not Drugs, Not Boys or gangs the evil that is....

ROCK AND ROLL! (TECHNICALLY EDM, BUT THIS STILL COUNTS!)

Landing in La (So they can save money on Location shots!), The Overly Friendly Girl soon meets her Dour Faced, Tanned Whiteboy posing as her Cousin! She is use to sleeping a hammock outside but can't since we are in Latino Suburb of Los Angles And she interrupted by Black Helicopters and Police Sirens.

So Diego's Childhood has being practically Drained by The American School System, and finds Dora cringey to be around. Which he responds to by pretending not to know her.

Like when the High School has a Security Check, and her Backpack Contains Pickaxes and Emergency Flares. Ok this Backpack was and is her only Luggage! How did she pass Customs in the first Place? This makes Dora the most Hated person in school, because everyone in line behind her is now late for class. Makes me Wonder why they didn't just tell their Parents to drive them early to school if they are security checks?

END OF PART 1!

A LIVE ACTION FILM ABOUT A BABY CARTOON WITH SOCIAL COMMENTARY? yep....

HOW MUCH MORE WILL EAMONN TAKE BEFORE HE HAS THAT BATH WITH HIS TOASTER? FIND OUT NEXT WEDNESDAY! THE 3RD OF AUGUST! 

ONLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW!: EPISODES 82-83: GOING FAR

 There will be no review of episode 83, Hard Luck as it's a filler episode. Just when you thought Odd couldn't be more Stupid, he becomes Superstitious! The only thing of merit is that they return to Area 51 and destroy the factory, which were making Compliance Chips for the Spiders in the amazon Factory, previously destroyed. However Xana has created enough chips already.....

82, Distant Memory is a better episode....To start with, then it gets bad in the third act. The first two minutes of the episode is a fantastic nightmare sequence. The art shifts to an Uncanny Valley style to capture the Joy of a young Aelita being Ripped out as Aelita's Mother finally named as Anthea, is kipnapped by the Men in Black. Even the Music which is Sinister and mixed with a warped Wolf's howl is a great touch!

It's Christmas and the Boys return to their respective families. Ulrich gets stuck in a traffic jam with his Stern (IF YOU PARDON THE PUN!) Father and Cloying Mother. Jeremy with his father who asks about his romance with Aelita, and Odd leaving the country outright by plane! Aelita, who is here under false pretenses, is staying at the dorm at night and working at the factory all day to avoid caretakers. Yumi who lives in town wants Aelita to join her, but The pink haired girl insists she's fine!

Later that Day, Aelita gets an Email Attached to A Sound File of Franz playing Twinkle twinkle Little star on the Piano. Franz has Seemingly returned to Lyoko and wants to speak to Aelita. Faster than you can say "IT'S A TRAP!" Aelita has gone to the factory! (For Closure, We are shown that even if Yumi COULD help! She is stuck doing Housework!)

On the Ice Sector Aelita spots a Simulation Bubble. She enters it and it's the Hermitage as she remembers it, on a snowy day when she was young. Entering her childhood home, she tearfully hugs her Father. Franz tells her he built this simulation to spend time with his daughter, if only for one evening. 

Yumi calls Aelita but can't reach her, so she calls the others! Jeremy's father is supportive and  makes a U-turn. Ulrich flat out ditches the car in the Traffic Jam, in the middle of his Father's Reason You Suck Speech,....and Odd......WE GET TO SEE WHERE ODD GETS IN FROM AS HIS FAMILY FORGOT IT WAS CHRISTMAS AND FORGOT TO PICK THERE SON UP! So all 4 head to the factory!

In the Simulation Franz Tells Aelita he plans on emailing a program to cure William. Franz asks Aelita about his her progress and she speaks about the Skidbladnir. When Franz comments about the strange name, Aelita says he would have known that name from the book of Norse legends he would read as a bedtime story. He dismisses it, but Aelita is not the Naive Girl she was. When she calls out Franz for not creating a program to resemble her mother, She rumbles the plan as XANA Reveals himself and William enters the Bubble.

The warriors are Virtualized As soon as the Bubble get Guarded by Monsters. Aelita is soon Surrounded by William and XANA/WOLVES chased into a barrier, But it was a plan to find the barrier, since Aelita can use Creativity to Shatter fake realities like before! With the bubble gone. Aelita, William and A Blok, which was the Wolf, return to the ice Sector

And then the Bullshit that undermines all the good in this episode happens.

Aelita gets thrown into the Digital Sea and is destroyed.

........

ONE!

We have established that Jeremy can bring back people destroyed By Digital Water.

TWO!

Remember that time, also in season 1, Aelita Virtualised one Hair That be Digitized into a Source Code THE LAST TIME! Aelita was Destroyed. I doubt Jeremy is freeing up space on the Memory of his Supercomputer by deleting Important files like that!

THREE!

Here's Ulrich on his Overbike having his "BIG NOOOOOO!" Moment....A Motorbike, THAT CAN FLY!

AND FOUR AND I WILL NEVER STOP BRINGING THIS UP!

....So, as you can expect it's all False Drama, for Franz in the Form of the Guardian, to reveal himself to save his Daughter, As Creations Attack him as he drops Aelita on land and Beats it like the Deadbeat he is! Out of Frustration. William kills all the avatars in a clear loss for our heroes. Back on Earth, Odd Gives Presents to his Friends ans Aelita is Invited to Jeremy's for Christmas.

Distant Memory starts so well, but by the third act, The false Drama of Permanently deleting Aelita is Laughable given everything that has happened beforehand over 3 seasons!

A Disappointing place to stop!

This is my last Review of Code Lyoko of 2021! we will return Next year to finish the story. Next Month, Normal Service resumes with the review of The live action Dora the Explorer Movie!

But until Next Year, you have to wait for the last 4 times we

RETURN TO THE PAST!

NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW! EPISODE 80-81: HERE WE ARE (REMASTERED)

 Dog Day Afternoon is a filler episode which is More or Less, The Fly for a Children Show. Odd Sneaks Kiwi into his scanner and instead of The Bull terrier being virtalized, Odd slowly turns canine. the Sub-plot is Sissi is Suspicious of Fake William's behavior and Yumi, under the guise of dating him babysits the program as Jeremy Updates his behavior. Meanwhile Xana Possesses a Biker Gang who has trespassed on the ground of the factory. the only things of note is that William can absorb Aelita's energy blasts into his sword, and the biker gang is scared off by a reassembled Kiwi and and a tube of toothpaste. Jeremy also updated Fake William's intelligence leading us to the next episode

In "Lack of Goodwill"

The "Intelligence" Update has William Copy a prank Odd did and he gets caught. This worries Jeremy as his his clone's Programming should not be able to make amoral decisions. this conversation is eavesdropped by the Junior Reporters...Seriously How many times has the top secret mission being eavesdropped by someone who just happened to be standing on the other side of a tree or support pillar?

Another Mission to the Digital Sea Uncovers another Desert Replika linked to, of all Places, Area 51! OK, So they don't name it outright, calling it a "Top Secret Base Near Roswell, New Mexico", With Ulrich and Aelita as the away team at the abandoned site. Aelita Joking maybe they were all "Beamed Up"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RL0P76BULHY

Personally, I blame the Naruto Runners!

Back on Earth, Milly and Tamiya trick Fake William into revealing himself, Xana and bringing them to the factory when Mily asks for proof. On Replika, A hive of Hornets attacks the skids. Jeremy interrupts with a warning: someone has just virtualized on Earth. Yumi and Odd confirm it's not them. It was the Real William Out to Destroy the SuperCalculator. In New Mexico, their Supercalculator Powers and Automated Factory of some kind. William is about to Choke Jeremy Until Fake William and the Junior Reporters turn up, The Two Williams fight in the Factory's Power room as The Juniors Replace Jeremy as Mission Control, who has broken his ankle. With Outsiders in the factory, the Away team must divirtualize themselves by killing each other back to Lyoko. But like the Last time, Energized Avatars Divirtualized back to Lyoko return Unconscious to the Skid, which is under attack. Real William tricks Tamiya into trapping A Realized Yumi in a scanner, Destroys Fake William and creates a Shark-type Monster in the digital Sea. Worse still has raised the temperature of the battery room and it will explode using the delayed Virtualization program as a countdown. Thankfully Aelita is back on Earth to reset the Sub-zero temperature, and not to stop William, she only had time to do one thing and continuing the mission was more important!

The heroes humor the Junior Reporters by letting them film and interview them, only to activate the return to the past program. During lunch, Jeremy reveals why Fake William got into trouble. Turns out when creating the Intelligence program. Jeremy used some Sub-routines that came from Franz. In otherwords, Protocols that eventually were used to create Xana! And while the others are afraid that Fake William will become evil. Jeremy doesn't think so as Fake Willam is the one thing XANA Hates the most-HUMAN!

Join me next time as we review Distant Memory and Hard Luck. when we

RETURN TO THE PAST....

 NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW!: EPISODES 78-79: AMAZON ORDERED ASSKICKING (REMASTERED)

 We open With Lab Rat and Jeremy tells Odd, Aelita and Ulrich during lunch he created a New Power- "Energising" A state that will allow Avatars to Return to Earth with their Suits, Weapons and Powers intact. Yumi is angry at Ulrich for forgetting her Birthday yesterday, which he didn't even know. He can't even go and buy a present because he's in detention for supposedly throwing a fish at Jim. Odd decides to make it up to his roommate, after all, Odd threw the fish at Jim, much to Ulrich's annoyance.

That night, using the Skid to traverse the Digital Sea, to XANA'S Replikas, which Jeremy can use as a reference point of the other Supercomputers and SuperCalculators on the real world. The Forest Replika has an Activated Tower, Meaning Xana has launched an Attack. Activating a tower themselves, the use the power of the green tower to Energise on Earth....

Except Ulrich and Yumi. Odd And Aelita are in a Jungle during the Day. Jeremy confirms that they are in Brazil. The Amazon Rainforest Specifically.

Which makes Aelita do ballet in the translucenct skirt for some reason.

Now, you may be wondering why Franz Hopper has other supercomputers worldwide. As the Season 2 closing credits show, Franz was part of a team of Scientists who were likely Multi-National to begin with. And after Lyoko "Failed" when Franz and family disappeared, The Terrorist cell most likely used the Supercalculator to power whatever new scheme the Doctor is now creating!

Jeremy tells the Away team, that they have 13 minutes to find the Super-Computer, before they are forced back to Lyoko. Yumi and Ulrich Bicker like it's Season 2 and are Distracted by William riding on a tarantula...LIKE A BADASS!

In Brazil, Aelita and Odd Uncover Xana's Plan: he has possessed the staff here to create an army of Cyborg Spiders. Ulrich's postering gets him stabbed. Yumi Loses her Fans and has to fight William hand to Hand....er Hand to BIG FECKING SWORD! Just when they are about to destroy the Supercalculator. William after offing Yumi, enters the Green Tower, enters Code: XANA and forces the away team back to Lyoko. The first Mission has failed, But not without Intel. and so the episode ends with Odd getting his packages mixed up. Odd with the Necklace for Yumi and Yumi having a squeaky bone for Kiwi.

Bragging Rights Sees the return to Brazil to destroy the lab. This time, Yumi and Ulrich are the away team, Surrounded by Spiders. The story is told in flashback. Odd's bragging and hot-dogging gets him detention . When Ulrich tells Odd to save it for mission. Odd gets indignant and makes a bet: If he can go a week without Bragging, He get's Ulrich Desserts for a week. Conversely if he loses! 

With the schematics and the destroyed forcefield last episode, it should be easy, except neither has the Hacking powers of Creativity like Aelita has. And when Ulrich smashes a panel to open the door like in the movies. the team are told they are to sever the powerline instead. On the Forest Replika, William and the ever Annoying Hornets attack. Back in the Amazon, the Cyber Spiders have escaped. Ulrich slashes the generator with his Katana and the Replika Starts to Disappear, causing william to plunge into Digial Water...Until A backup Generator comes online, reforming the replika and respawning William.

The Spiders Capture the Away Team and Kill them with their fangs...But Death while Energized means you are returned to Lyoko, just as the same as death on Lyoko returns you to Reality! Odd asks Jeremy to be sent in the other's stead, Since Aelita is now destroyed too. But promises not to brag, the Skid is fired upon with Ulrich and Yumi Unconscious inside. Odd on his own singlehandley fights of the Spiders and Destroys the Generator with his last Last arrow! The Replika is destroyed and so are the spiders. And so Odd loses the Bet when he says he set the time for the shortest shower in School History. When Ulrich points out, that's nothing to be proud of. Odd concedes saying That He's A braggard and that's OK!

And with that 16 episodes are left, With 8 of these posts left to do! Find out what happens next when we watch "Dog Day Afternoon" and "A Lack Of Goodwill!" in the next Double bill "HERE WE ARE"

When we Return to past....

NOW!

CODE LYOKO: RETURN TO THE PAST NOW! EPISODES 76-77: WHATTA PROOF!

 As above's terrible Attempt at a pun tells you, Both episodes have an Aquatic Theme, Lost At Sea comes later, but first, Let's Dive into "The Lake".

Today the entire 8th Grade class at Kadic (That's our Heroes and Sissi, Herve and Nicolas bar Yumi and Fake William) have a camping trip on a small island on a lake. Odd has sneaked Kiwi in his bag and Sissi is lording it up as the Principal's Daughter to bring her mountain Bike. When Kiwi reveals himself, Jim's long feud with proving Kiwi's Existence comes to a close. Jeremie can't get an internet Connection, But can still use their phones to contact Yumi to tell her to keep a watch on XANA. This will be hard as Yumi has Finals and is not a boarder at the Academy.

XANA's Attack is two fold. In reality A Spectre is going all slasher movie and picking off the Class one by one, (Only shocking them to Coma's because Kid's Show!) while on Lyoko The scyozoa returns to Delete the Skid's data! The Spectre spreads itself in the lake water, becoming a film that emits an electrical current. Odd and Ulrich try to sneak off using a rubber dingy. While Aelita and Jeremy, Jerry-rig an Antenna out of their tent. Odd Keeps Jim Distracted as Ulrich float back to Burgundy as Jeremy Dictates a program to Yumi while William and some Krabbes provide a welcome party.

Ulrich's attempt to escape gets thwarted by Jim both are shocked...Aelita attempt reveals herself in Ulrich's Dingy covered in a rubber Blanket as the boat floated back to the school bus. Aelita spots Sissi's Mountain bike and formulates a plan! Yumi accidentally gets blasted into the tower and she thinks she's safe....But.....William can now enter Towers as easily as the Aelita or the others when she's with them!

Yumi is about to be Killed, But Yumi could Reach William Temporarily, But's Not Enough. Aelita arrives and activates Green Towers On Every Zone to reboot the Skid's Systems. Aelita blasts William who blasted Yumi to earth to activate the return to the past, to stop everyone on the island from being electrocuted, Being sent Back a Day Aelita used it to reinforce the skid's shields and so it ends with Kiwi now stuck with Yumi, who because of time travel has to take the exams again!

Next, Lost at Sea, the 77th Episode, Sees Yumi's brother Hiroki steal her diary in an attempt to impress Milly, Who is looking for a scoop for the school paper! Jeremy has programmed a Tracer onto the Skid in the name of the mission to find William. When Yumi, gives chase, Hiroki bumps into Odd and Ulrich, picking up her Diary Hiroki was using to impress Milly, A Photo of Ulrich Falls out, with Odd telling Ulrich this is his one and only chance to find out if Yumi still likes Him!

Ulrich's Attempt to return the diary is quashed by Jeremy's arrival. Tumi, Still angry, takes it out on XANA'S monsters on the mission, but not before a convaluted"Parent Trap" style scheme to make Hiroki out to be the hero, only for the pages to be removed by a third party. Her Navi Skid is damaged and divirtulized with her inside it. She is now trapped in the Red Zone, in the Digital sea.

In the real World the Diary pages are found and Odd concludes Kiwi Dug them out with his paws like a game. In the Read Zone Yumi feels sad about never seeing her family again as she battles a Kongre with only one Torpedo left. The blast is enough of a heat signature to track her. The others find her and rescue her from an ambush!

And So the Episode Ends with Ulrich Returning Yumi's Diary Pages in Secret and her thinking Hiroki did it, As Ulrich walks off Happy!

"Lost At Sea! finally gives Yumi and Ulrich their Endgame Arc for the Final Season. A catalyst for them to be together once more without the Guilt of a Secret keeping them Together. It also show that 15 plus years ago, French Cartoon Writers could write Believable Romantic plots for  Children's shows and not make the Heroes look like assholes! 

I'm Looking at you Thomas Astruc!

And I Know I will never have the chance again bring it up, But the Opening of Ladybug season 4 is Just Awful. True, anyone with a Braincell knew the MarinettexLuca and AdrianxKagami Ships wouldn't last, But Couldn't they have done more? Couldn't they have built this over a few episodes and then make Truth and Lies a Mid-season ending? BUT NO! STATUS QUO IS GOD! AND WE HAVE TO DRAG OUT THE REVEAL! And don't get me started on lack of redemption for Chloe, we just replaced her with a blander character!

Return to the Past will be back every Monday in July. And next week, Reality Blurs as the hunt for Xana escalates. A revelation next episode proves to be the programs undoing In Lab-Rat and Bragging Rights! In our Next double Bill Nicknamed for the spoiler "Amazon Delivered AssKicking!"

When we Return to the Past,

NOW!