Tekken month: Eamonn reviews Tekken: blood vengeance

WE END ENLIGHTENED TOWERS' REVIEW HALF OF TEKKEN MONTH
With an example of a Tekken film done right. Is it any good? Yes. Is it the greatest Amime ever. no it's not. But find out for yourselves as we dig into Tekken blood Vengeance

I've tried my best to show you an image but its so famous by now that it has being dubbed the cover that "launched a 1000 shippers!"

For those who hav'nt, It's Xiaoyu holding Alisa in the style of La Pieta in a warzone. The dark clouds and offsetting sunrise makes it a striking shot, but the lighting and position of Alisa's Robotic Rump makes it look like Xiao has no skirt on.
As the story progresses you'll find out that Xiao will wear LESS Around Alessa!

The film starts as a women on a motorbike is playing chicken with a truck. As the truck explodes the woman takes of her headgear to reveal herself as Nina Williams. the truck driver reveals herself to be Anna Williams who wears that delicate and highly flammable silk quipo even when driving trucks full of explosives.Anna challanges her sister to a fight and the williams do what they are good at. Not being the Bread in a Kazuya sandwich, but kicking each other's asses.
I must share these first 5 minutes with you. The Animation is great, the dialogue syncs with the lip movement, and the moves are true to form.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkLilTU1kQ0
So Nina avoids arrests as she gathers intel for Jin on the "M" Project. He tells Nina to go to Russia to get "it"(Alissa). Meanwhile, at G-Corp, Anna shows Kaz a picture of the only survivor of the M(utare) Project, Shin Kamiya. Anna plans to emotionally blackmail Ling Xiaoyu into becoming a spy for G-Corp.

We cut to Ling Xiaoyu, who is just a normal 19 year old girl...who is just so happens to be an Martial Artist who rides a panda like a horse and own her own theme park!
Y'know, Completely Normal!

After being expelled from school by Ganryu, Anna hires Xiao as her protege in the spy world.

As for the time-line, this happened after Tekken 4 as Ling didn't recognise Anna. Causing people to spectulate (and they are right) that Anna didn't actively compete in the 3rd tourament. we are told that later heihachi died in the Honmaru Fire. And alessa's campaign mode took place during tekken 5.

Ling is told to shadow Shin, the last and only survivor of the Mutare Project. Transfered to Kyoto-go High, we get our first cameo as Lee is now a teacher of robotics to a Class of one.

Given how much fans hated combot that comes to no surprise!

Xiao is surprised at how easy-going Kyoto-go is compared to Mishima-Tech Bumping into Alissa Bosconovich as Xiaoyu looks on in slow motion at her ass running away. On top of the school, Shin tries to kill himself but Xiao saves the Ungrateful Cunt. Searching his dorm that night, Ling spies shin having a shower,but turns to see Alissa also watching. Shin reveals that he has a tattooed arm that faintly looks like True Orge's Snake Arm and he is guarded by a Crow

Making contact with Anna, Anna tells Ling to find out what is making Shin invulnerable.

In Class Lee is giving a Chekov's Lecture about the Obligatory Supernatural Tekken boss.Shin tries to play Alissa and Xiao against each other. But Xiao presses shin about his disappearance. but says he cant remember, he gives a Humans are Bastards Speech before his tattoo glows and growls like True Orge

Alissa is confused about her feelings for shin, So she planned on winning the Prom queen title at the mokujin festival, It's there that Shin is Kidnapped. realizing this, Alissa reveals herself as a robot who hard resets into Assassination Mode.

So Alissa and Ling have a fight and despite her sweet nature, Alissa has chainsaw arms, bomb heads and robot wings. The fight is interrupted when Anna turns on Xiaoyu, but Panda helps them escape.

In the forest, The girls are hiding. Alissa's override is over, returning her to her previous state. Jogging past them is an unexpected savior, Lee.

Using his Mansion as a base, Xiaoyu and Alissa Discover that the Mutare Experiment was a  transfusion of Orge's blood to build an army of super-soldiers. They find that Heihachi's name is being used as Shin's Legal guardian.

As Ling takes a shower she gets a text from Lei Wulong telling her they never found Heihachi's body in Honmaru. Stepping out of the shower, She see Alissa and Panda watching cartoons. Alissa tells Ling she plans to save Shin out of her feelings of love for him. Ling asks if those "feelings" are just programmed.
And that is the wrong things to say to that charecter!
BACKSTORY!
Despite Alissa being introduced as a playable charector in T6:BR, She has being a plot device since tekken 1. After suffering a car-crash that put her in a coma, Dr bosconovish devoted his life to Cyrogenics and robotics. When G-Corp attacked his lab, Alissa's human body was destroyed but her human memory was digitised and put in a robotic body.Dr .B has being missing since 5 and Alissa is searching for him.

As the G-Corps plan to seize Lee's Pimp Pad, Alessa and ling get close
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItPcQWfPkds
Hear that? that is the sound of 1000s of nerd's wrists breaking typing Ships that will turn Alessa into a robotic Russian Lesbian Schoolgirl
Russian...Lesbian...Schoolgirl.....What does that remind me of?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mGBaXPlri8

Nina reconnects Alissa's MishimaNET link telling Ling that the lab is now Kyoto castle's Mokujin exhibition.

Finding Shin in the castle. they learn he lured the 3 generations of mishima to take them out, while expositing while they each want his M-cells. Jin, to cure his Devil Gene, Kaz to enhance his and Heihachi to turn back the clock. Shin goes to attack 'Hachi. as he does his strentgh leaves him. with a few blows Shin is murdered.

The Mishima's fight over Shin's body, destroying kyoto castle in the process. Dispatching Heihachi. Kaz becomes Devil Kaz. Alissa intervenes but Jin uses a voice command to deactivate her. Kaz steps on Alissa, breaking her in half. Jin turns into Devil Jin but loses control but its a bluff he can control it and defeats his father.

Heihachi opens the golden coffin and releases a spirit that combines all the Mokujins into one giant version.
we will refer to this creature as the "Earth Goddess", the combined consiousness of all mokujins and trees is superpissed at humans right now!

The Goddess attacks ling but panda helps her owner.The goddess is convinced that humanity is worth saving but Heihachi breaches its heart and takes control.

So let's wrap this up!
A double-team Devil Lazer/Sky-Rocket SuperPunch destroys the earth goddess and 'hachi. Jin recognises the Irony of an animal and a robot saving the world from a manmade evil, and tells Xiao that next they met, prepare to kill him. And so the film ends in Heihachiland, as Xiao convinces a repaired Alissa to join the next tourney, as she has motion capture data of the 3 Generations.

THIS FILM IS...ACCAPTABLE!
After Live Action. this is a step-up from that turd. But first negatives. Unless you follow the game Series, you will be lost to the plot. Second the unlikable one-shot Charecter of Shin. If you wanted to tell us Orge was returning in the game, give us Orge and not this whiny, suicidal floppy haired pansy boy who couldn't take a punch. Next negative the annoyingly perky nature of Alissa. Why would a killer robot act like she does? okay i said she was human before a robot but why would anyone act like a giggly bimbo when on a mission? I refer to a scene where they are entering Mishima-tech and Alissa says she would rather find embarassing Yearbook photos of Ling!
Now the postives!
Animation was slick,  mouth movement lined up and story fitted the world we knew, rather that disregard it completly. Namco overlooked the production (for a change!) the script was written by Dai"Cowboy bebop" Saito and produced by Digital frontier, All Anime heavyweights.

So Tekken: Blood Vengeange. A tekken film done by people who know what they're doing!

CREDITS
Tekken blood vengeance review was written, edited and compiled by Eamonn Bermingham.
With clips from:
Tekken Blood Vengeance
Music:
All the things she said by TaTu
All clips belong to there respected owners.
Tekken is property of Namco/Bandai and blood vengeance is produced By Digital frontier.
All rights reserved
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