MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND PART 2

So the Next day, Hannah (Anna Faris) Reacts to the strange date Matt (Owen Wilson) has had with Jenny (Uma Thurman), So she warns him about taking a second date with her, except when he gets advice from Vaughan (Rainn Wilson), who is a sleazy wingman.

So of Course Matt takes the bad advice, Jenny's Needy, long-winded speech pattern and abuse of powers (she uses super-breath to stop a taxi) So they go to the museum where Jenny work as an erotic sculptor, She kisses Matt to thank him for her handbang being returned...but then the script ruins his nice moment by making Jenny critique Matt's Kissing!

So as Matt Brings Jenny home to dance the Mattress Mambo, when a musical thrill alerts us to...a pigeon. But not just any Pigeon....A ROBOT SPY CAMERA PIGEON!-Being used by this film's villain-Eddie Izzard who is watching a couple get it on! A more crass reviewer would make light of a gay actor watching a straight couple copulate and make a joke like..."OOOH! Owen dyes his hair blond....I wonder If the carpet matches the drapes!"

So with Jenny So Horny, she uses her super strength to rip off Matt's clothes, and nearly accidentally revealed her g-girl costume. After Bed-busting Banging, A Limping but Happy Matt Meets Vaughn, who says I Told you So...Neurotic Girls go all out in Bed and that makes them Easy...but now you must break up with her because it's just downhill from there!

And he's right, Matt is kidnapped by  Dr. Bedlam (Izzard!) who hangs him On the Statue Of Liberty by his shoelaces...SOMEHOW!....Despite establishing he is a robotics expert with no Powers! Sure a drone may have done it, but we only ever see the Pigeon Drone and RC Robots! G-Girls saves Matt, while Dr Bedlam breaks into Jenny's Flat and steals hair from her hairbrush!

Another Date with Jenny after his rescue and she goes mad when Matt calls G-girl "NUTS!"...When Jenny saves a child from being ran over...she gets ran over a second later, and not suffer a scratch, so Jenny reveals she is G-girl and doesn't ask Matt to swear to secrecy because they are a couple and will be one...forever and ever and ever....FOREVER....WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT!

So we get Back Story on Jenny and DR. Barry Edward Lambert (GET IT! B. EDWARD LAMBERT? BEDLAM?) They were to highschool geeks against the world, Barry had nothing but Jenny and his skills with robotics, Deciding to lose virginity to each other, they found a meteorite. When Jenny touched it, she turned HOT!....And also gave her superpowers....BUT ALSO HOT! AS WE HAVE A 5 MINUTE BREAST ENLARGEMENT SCENE!

So officially out of her League, Barry swore revenge...all because of a COCKBLOCKING METEORITE!

So Dr Bedlam's Plan is revealed, he has stolen a fragment of the meteorite and is experimenting with Jenny's Hair, which is also imbued with power-the hair is so strong it can resist being cut by a circular saw-which causes an injury to a henchman, but exposing the hair to the Meteorite, turns it Brunette and weak!

So Matt asks Jenny to incorporate her powers into Sex. And after fearing for his life after sex in Midair...greatly regrets it!

The Next day at work , Hannah removes a splinter from his hand by sucking his finger....So there is an excuse, a completely unreasonable explanation why a hot blonde would suck a man's finger!

God, What Happened to the Removing an Eyelash Trope and have it look like a Kiss from a reverse Angle?

...Well here is your chance to explain yourself, Matt, because Jenny is staring right in front of  you! So After Jenny Stares Down Hannah as she kisses Matt, Matt decides to clear the air with a double date-Him and Jenny and Hannah and her model boyfriend Steve-Who can't attend because of work!

With Jenny's Jealously and her convinced "Steve" doesn't exist, Jenny won't even stop a rogue Missile aimed at NYC, In case Hannah's and Matt's ashes get blown into each other, she's that Petty!

So G-Girl Reluctantly Saves the city, and when she returns to the Restaurant, Matt and Hannah are caught in the moment, Hugging, on the ride home, Jenny Accuses Matt Of Cheating, leading her to smash a window and tears and Apologies.

IF I CAN BE SERIOUS....

The Reason I wanted to do this review, Is that this "comedy" shows a Realistic Depiction of an Abusive Relationship-Jealously Accusation, Control, Anger, and then Remorse in a Cycle and each Cycle the Abuse Escalates!  And for those saying "It's a fantasy film, about superheroes!" NO THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE! Matt is controlled and Spoilers!-Jenny's rages get worse and worse-classic Escalation!

and what happens next doesn't help matters! Vaughn Tells Matt that there is 2 ways to break up with a woman, a direct "Jerk Route" or Matt's case-A "Weinie Route"-In other words, letting her down gently during the romantic high of a nice Evening

So Matt stands up to Jenny and what does she do?
Boil his goldfish with heat vision!
Yes, Take it out on an innocent Animal!
That's not Classic Murderous Intent At all(!)

So the Next day, Matt tries to confess his new found feelings for Hannah, but PTSD makes him see Jenny or G-girl everywhere. The fright makes Matt knock Hannah Down...So out comes Wanda Sykes to fingerwag and tell us "Mama Don't Like That!" There you Go Wanda, earn that Black Stereotype Paycheck, just know you are only here because FOX couldn't afford Queen Latifah, but hiring Tiffany Haddish will Cheapen Production Values!

Jenny is abusing her powers and Status to Directly Dick with Matt's life-Flying off with his car and cutting off his electricity. G-Girl Breaks in to use Matt's Telescope to show him his car........IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!, So when Matt calls her out on the abuse of power, she heat visions the word DICK on his forehead!

The Next day at Matt's big Contract with a Chinese Firm and Jenny causes a localized tornado to strip Matt Naked....and Wanda Sykes has more to fingerwag about when she fires Matt!

And with that Matt warns Hannah to save herself and not to make things worse, with Jenny knowing full well taking the only thing away from Matt that stop him dating Hannah, his job, has only put them closer!
Jenny...


As if that wasn't bad enough, Bedlam wants Matt to be bait in his plan to Neutralize G-Girl-As Matt tries to pack to leave New York Together

Matt gets a phone-call from a distressed Hannah....Who tells him Steve has broken up with her...after he Blurted about G-girl....WHOOPS!

But Hannah confesses her feelings for Matt, they have Sex and then....G-Girl throws a shark into her apartment!

WHY IS NOONE STOPPING THIS?
Using speed to blindside Matt is one thing, But Dragging a Great White by the tail, with one hand, while Flying in New York and noone notices? Oh and by the sound of panic after the departure of the shark, Jenny didn't stick around to save the very people who put their trust in her!

Fearing for Hannah's life, nevermind his, Matt Agrees to be bait for Bedlam's plan, in his lab, Bedlam has a shrine to G-girl...of course he was not to see that!

As A Pawn in Bedlam's game, Matt tells Jenny he was to work thing out and as a present he will reveal the meteorite that will steal her powers!
But he didn't factor Hannah coming to the flat, Jenny fighting her, Vaughan inviting himself to dinner and revealing the rock, and Bedlam double crossing Matt.

With Jenny Dying, Hannah pushes the rock that explodes, Repelling everyone and causing Hannah to fall lifelessly into a skylight, Vaughan's response to an innocent death that was caused partially by his bad advice?


But in a twist worthy of M. SHITE SHAMALAMADINGDONG! Hannah now has powers and both she and Jenny fight over Matt, causing property damage enough for people to see Jenny's true colours as the Psycho-Bitch she is! Matt tells her that she doesn't love him at all, but her knows who does...It's the Equally Petty Piece Of Work who has being trying to kill her for years!

LOOK I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! SO BRING OUT THE CLOWNS!

Matt and Hannah Get Together, Barry and Jenny get together, the Girls become heroes to save the day and with no jobs It's always Pub O'clock for the boys and after the credits we get a stringer-scene, Vaughan in Bed with a Bartender he had being picking up/annoying all film, With stating he gained somepowers from the explosion too,....SUPER VIRILITY!

IT'S THE COMEDY ABOUT ABUSE WITH SUPERPOWERS SO STILL FINNY RIGHT?
NO FOX IT STILL SUCKS!
Nothing more i want to say, except if you are in Ireland and you are affected by the themes in this review please go to the following link-abuse is not funny and putting it in the realms of fantasy is a sad way to normalize it!
https://www.safeireland.ie/get-help/where-to-find-help/

CREDITS
My Sper Ex-Girlfriend was reviewed Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham
With Media from
My Super Exgirlfriend
Command and Conquer
Avatar the last Airbender
My super ex-girlfriend was produced by Fox all rights reserved. All media used belong to their respective owners!
This Blog has no ties with Safe Ireland, i just think female on-male violence is STILL violence and making a comedy about it is bad taste!

NEXT MONTH,
THE ROBOTS ARE MEAN, JOLIE IS KEEN, AND THE SCREENS ARE ALL GREEN!
CGI CARAMBA!
IT'S SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!

MY SUPER EX GIRLFRIEND REVIEW Part 1

(WE OPEN IN THE BOWELS OF HELL, EARTH 1! AKA OUR EARTH! OUR WORLD'S SATAN-THE SATANICOSTRICH IS TASKED IN KEEPING THE ORDER OF MORALITY IN THE UNIVERSE, WHILE THE COSMIC ENTITIES CONTINUE TO WILE AWAY THE EONS PLAYING WITH THE SOULS OF MAN IN THEIR BOARDGAMES, SATAN WAS ONCE ENVIOUS, EVEN UNDERAPPRECIATED BY THE GOD-LIKE BEINGS, ONCE HE WAS SO SOUNDLY DEFEATED BY EAMONN, WHO WAS BACK THEN WAS JUST A LOWLY INTERNET REVIEWER WITH A PIECE OF HELL STUCK IN HIS FIST, AND FOR HIM TO BE DEFEATED BY A HUMAN WITH A SCRAP OF HIS OWN POWER BY ONE PUNCH! HUMILIATED HIM TO THE POINT OF HIM RETIRING AS SATAN,

BIG MISTAKE!

WITHOUT A SATAN TRAPPED IN THE 9TH RING OF HELL, THE WICKEDNESS OF THIS WORLD POURED OUT (As written in the Suffer Little Children Arc), It was only by returning Ostrich to Hell and Destroying Silent Hill (As Written in Ticket to Hell: DahmNation), that Satan required a new lease on his job, something that the very Linear-minded Entities Never Did!)

(So Inside the Ice Prison of the SatanicOstrich, The androgynous Bird-man was painting his nail while on his bed in his lingerie, talking to the various other evils of the multiverse about having a big sexy party when Earth was going to be crushed by a meteor! When he sensed something, Across the otherside of the Galaxy, The Express Train to Hell, the Inter-dimesional Vehicle used to bring and rescue Heroes to and from their demise, Mangled in the Meteor! that is when the ice Prison started to melt!)

THIS IS NOT GOOD! I'M NOW FREE! BUT IF I'M FREE THEN THAT MEANS EARTH IS MORE IN DANGER THAN I CAN EVER CREATE! 
I'm heading up to the Surface to deal with this-He said manifesting to into smoke to enter are world through a geyser in Iceland! It would take a few days to Reach Ireland.

AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!

So we know Owen Wilson's Career has taken a dive if he's selling sofas to the backsides of Britain, But do you know who else in this film has seemingly fallen off the face of the Earth?

Uma Thurman.

And this film where she plays a Superpowered Yandere who attacks her ex using Said Powers "Fir Funnehs!" Might be the reason.

So Here we have our cover. It's Thurman crushing the bonnet of a car with her foot. As Owen Wilson in his brunette, fresh cut Serious Actor-phrase. If we are getting that Owen Wilson, and not the WOW! Guy!, this film has already lost it. Wilson has such an expressive face that him not looking shocked or perplexed is strange. Here he looks like he is suppressing the need to sneeze!

Also Something is off about the Captain Morgan pose by Thurman, the force of impact seems be under her toes....except anyone who has ever thrown a kick to hurt another person would tell you all the power of a kick comes from the heel. and the thin heels on her boots, too impractical for this job!

Starting in New York, Seriously with the amount of films that take place in NYC, People might believe I hate the Big Apple!

We Open with a Jewelry Heist, Foiled by the powers of G-girl (Thurman) What does the G stand for? Nobody knows! It become a Lampshade for Both Wilsons to hang later on! All we know is that she has a Capital G belt Buckle, So maybe she is one of those Gucci Gang Cretins!

So she has Generic Powers, Flight, Super Strength, Invulnerability from Bullets she shows off by bending a rifle! God I wish there was still a GIF of Johnny 5 crushing a gun to make that joke!

The Foiled Heist is Read about the next day on the Subway by Matt (Wilson) and Vaughn (Wilson...Rainn Wilson, THAT IS!) They spot a Nerdy, but Oddly Attractive Woman Sitting Next to them (Thurman). Vaughn bets Matt to ask her out, only to be shot down by Totally Not G-Girl! That is until her bag gets stolen! So Matt chases after him.

So The Thief Drops the bag, but Matt calling the Thief names backfires when he returns with a lead pipe, forcing Matt to Hide in a dumpster. He jumps out, only to see the woman there, Matt returns the bag to Jenny, and she agrees to a date, a cutaway shot shows us the thief slowly being hanged by a railing...Just for a bag!

This is what we call Character Establishment, Nearly killing a thief over her Bag being stolen shows us how Prideful G-girl is. and what she would do if that pride is damaged, as we will see!

So Matt and Vaughn are Architects and Matt has a very attractive assistant called Hannah (Anna Faris) and their boss in Carla (Wanda Sykes), Both I have never seen in a good film, as if we weren't wading waist high already in Celluloid Shit!

At Dinner, Jenny hears distress and sirens as Matt talks about himself, so Jenny leaves for the bathroom, Which Triggers Matt to call Vaughn about Jenny Blowing him off, Only for Vaughn to tell Matt he is front and centre to a fire being extinguished by G-Girl. When Jenny returns, she is covered in Ash and doesn't realizes!

END OF PART 1