(Previously on Advent Children....
Nothing Really! I just Spent the entire post Explaining the massive backstory, but we did get to story based two years later! Tifa and Cloud are Guardians to the orphans Marlene and Denzel, Avalanche has went their separate ways and Midgar is now a cleaner, greener planet, but now a Disease called Geo-Stigma is affecting all the young people of this world and it may have something to do with the 3 Sephiroth Fanboys that attacked Cloud and threatened the "President" looking for "Mother"
The Meeting Cloud goes to is with this "President" namely the now wheelchair bound and disfigured Former Ceo, Rufus Shinra! who was caught in the crossfire of Holy and Meteor, Rufus wants to make his company legit but can't if there is any loose ends, namely the Loose ends keeping Kidaj's head on his shoulders! Cloud Refuses
Tifa and Marlene visit Cloud who has being holed up in Aeris' Garden, possibly because of his own guilt of not stopping her murder, Tifa finds a rag with what looks like Stigma on it! Marlene uncovers a case full of Cure, and Status Materia. that Cloud has being using to keep his strength up, but Stigma is uncurable. Making the Girls Worry,
Back at the Shinra Lodge Kidaj has whooped Reno and Rude and is demanding where the head of Jenova-"Mother". Kidaj Explains that Stigma is a Genetic Marker for anyone who has Jenova's Cells in their Make up! Rufus being ,caught in the Explosion 2 years ago has it too. It's all part of the "Reunion"-A new Cataclysm, Similar to Jenova's Arrival.
Back at Aeris' Garden Lars Attacks Tifa, after a fight set to a piano version of the Battle Theme,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTwgHPE1rsc
Lars Blindsides Tifa and injects her with Something and Kidnaps Marlene. It seems that Everyone who has Stigma shares some kind of Awakening Hivemind, as Cloud sees Denzel being kidnapped by Azu posing as a doctor! Passing out from the shock and the stigma, he and Tifa wake in a motel saved by Reno and Rude, Who tells them where the Children are taken, to the Forbidden City.
There, amidst the Glowing Neon Trees, Kidaj gives a speech to the frightened Kidnapped kids, calling them Children Born to a New Age!
Kidaj also uses Cloud's Stolen Materia to Bamboozle the Sick Children into drinking Stigma infected water to Strengthen The Jenova Hivemind!
Cloud heading to the rescue is suddenly beamed into the Afterlife,by the ghost of Aeris. (Controversially voiced by American Pie Slut-Bag and Slut-Bag typecast, Mena Suavari!) Cloud wants Aeris to forgive him for her death, but is suddenly drawn out into a fight. He draws his sword but is shocked to see the Children, Denzell Too, Following the villains like drones, Cloud can barely hold his own against the new powers that Lars and Azu now possess, but out of nowhere Vincent Valentine, Avalanche's resident Badass and Vampire Detective! evens the odds. During the fight, Cloud Loses his Phone, not that he ever uses it according to a now freed Marlene. Cloud asks Vinny to use his Vampire powers to teleport Marlene back to Seventh Heaven, but not before a riot act from the little orphan about responsibility changes his mind! Cloud takes Marlene home himself, deciding that he'll need help to erase every bit of Sephiroth's Legacy!
We Cut to the phone now dropping to the bottom of a lake,playing out voicemails, when it touches bottom, the last message is from Other Side, Aeris' Voice telling Cloud she always forgived him, before the phone finally dies!
At a Monument, Commending those killed by the Jenova Incident! Lars, Azu, and some of the Advent Children are convinced that the head of the statue of Jenova, is actually the real head of Jenova! Distracted by Reno and Rude, Tifa has rescued Denzel from the Pansy and the Retard! Rufus has being Kidnapped by Kidaj and threatens to throw him and his wheelchair off the multistory carpark they are now standing in who reveals that with Jenova's cells from her head, Sephiroth will be revived and all those with Geo-Stigma will be strong enough to amass an army under his "Brother's" Control! When Rufus calls Pansy #2 a "groupie" he summons Dark Bahamat-A Dragon who is the franchise's living Nuclear Weapon, ready to unleash Atomic Rape on Humanity, until Avalanche Members Barrett, Vincent, Yuffie, Cid, Red, and Cait Sith! Reunites to fend It off ! Cloud comes back just in time, Denzel is cured of the hivemind-somehow! and brings his sister to safety!
Back with Kidaj and Rufus, the Ceo reveals he is not really crippled or disfigured (This is a game world where Curative Magics can cure Anything! Even Death!)
Rufus also reveals he always had Jenova's Head "A real Son would Know!" ,which he flings off the side of the carpark! A combined Effort off all of Avalanche (INCLUDING Aeris' Spirit!) Launches Cloud up in the air to cut the fell Dragon in half. Causing Kidaj to kick Rufus off the building's side but is rescued by his Men and Azu to catch the box containing the head, albeit damaged and it's blood bleeding, the plan to synthesize the blood to turn everyone with Stigma into Sephiroth clones is seemingly foiled. Azu and Lars flee as Kidaj gains the head, and he and Cloud battle in Aeris' Garden Kidaj destroys the Flowers revealing the lake where the Flower girl was Buried! the Avalanche Airship comes to the rescue but Vincent says Kidaj is a "Larvae in a cocoon". Kidaj forces Jenova's Head into an OPEN WOUND! (because if Silent Hill has thought me anything, inserting evil artifacts into open wounds will always transform you into evil entities!)
Nothing Really! I just Spent the entire post Explaining the massive backstory, but we did get to story based two years later! Tifa and Cloud are Guardians to the orphans Marlene and Denzel, Avalanche has went their separate ways and Midgar is now a cleaner, greener planet, but now a Disease called Geo-Stigma is affecting all the young people of this world and it may have something to do with the 3 Sephiroth Fanboys that attacked Cloud and threatened the "President" looking for "Mother"
The Meeting Cloud goes to is with this "President" namely the now wheelchair bound and disfigured Former Ceo, Rufus Shinra! who was caught in the crossfire of Holy and Meteor, Rufus wants to make his company legit but can't if there is any loose ends, namely the Loose ends keeping Kidaj's head on his shoulders! Cloud Refuses
Tifa and Marlene visit Cloud who has being holed up in Aeris' Garden, possibly because of his own guilt of not stopping her murder, Tifa finds a rag with what looks like Stigma on it! Marlene uncovers a case full of Cure, and Status Materia. that Cloud has being using to keep his strength up, but Stigma is uncurable. Making the Girls Worry,
Back at the Shinra Lodge Kidaj has whooped Reno and Rude and is demanding where the head of Jenova-"Mother". Kidaj Explains that Stigma is a Genetic Marker for anyone who has Jenova's Cells in their Make up! Rufus being ,caught in the Explosion 2 years ago has it too. It's all part of the "Reunion"-A new Cataclysm, Similar to Jenova's Arrival.
Back at Aeris' Garden Lars Attacks Tifa, after a fight set to a piano version of the Battle Theme,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTwgHPE1rsc
Lars Blindsides Tifa and injects her with Something and Kidnaps Marlene. It seems that Everyone who has Stigma shares some kind of Awakening Hivemind, as Cloud sees Denzel being kidnapped by Azu posing as a doctor! Passing out from the shock and the stigma, he and Tifa wake in a motel saved by Reno and Rude, Who tells them where the Children are taken, to the Forbidden City.
There, amidst the Glowing Neon Trees, Kidaj gives a speech to the frightened Kidnapped kids, calling them Children Born to a New Age!
 |
| "THOME KINDA, ADVENT CHILDREN, IF YOU WILLLLL!" |
Cloud heading to the rescue is suddenly beamed into the Afterlife,by the ghost of Aeris. (Controversially voiced by American Pie Slut-Bag and Slut-Bag typecast, Mena Suavari!) Cloud wants Aeris to forgive him for her death, but is suddenly drawn out into a fight. He draws his sword but is shocked to see the Children, Denzell Too, Following the villains like drones, Cloud can barely hold his own against the new powers that Lars and Azu now possess, but out of nowhere Vincent Valentine, Avalanche's resident Badass and Vampire Detective! evens the odds. During the fight, Cloud Loses his Phone, not that he ever uses it according to a now freed Marlene. Cloud asks Vinny to use his Vampire powers to teleport Marlene back to Seventh Heaven, but not before a riot act from the little orphan about responsibility changes his mind! Cloud takes Marlene home himself, deciding that he'll need help to erase every bit of Sephiroth's Legacy!
We Cut to the phone now dropping to the bottom of a lake,playing out voicemails, when it touches bottom, the last message is from Other Side, Aeris' Voice telling Cloud she always forgived him, before the phone finally dies!
At a Monument, Commending those killed by the Jenova Incident! Lars, Azu, and some of the Advent Children are convinced that the head of the statue of Jenova, is actually the real head of Jenova! Distracted by Reno and Rude, Tifa has rescued Denzel from the Pansy and the Retard! Rufus has being Kidnapped by Kidaj and threatens to throw him and his wheelchair off the multistory carpark they are now standing in who reveals that with Jenova's cells from her head, Sephiroth will be revived and all those with Geo-Stigma will be strong enough to amass an army under his "Brother's" Control! When Rufus calls Pansy #2 a "groupie" he summons Dark Bahamat-A Dragon who is the franchise's living Nuclear Weapon, ready to unleash Atomic Rape on Humanity, until Avalanche Members Barrett, Vincent, Yuffie, Cid, Red, and Cait Sith! Reunites to fend It off ! Cloud comes back just in time, Denzel is cured of the hivemind-somehow! and brings his sister to safety!
Back with Kidaj and Rufus, the Ceo reveals he is not really crippled or disfigured (This is a game world where Curative Magics can cure Anything! Even Death!)
 |
| Well, most of the time, anyway! |
Kidaj has become Sephiroth and all shit is about to go down! But it seems something is stirring in the water and every child knows about!
So lets finish this year of 2016!
During a sword fight in a tornado (FUCKING BADASS!) Cloud uses Omnislash, a move that tirns his BIG FUCKING SWORD! into 8 BIG FUCKING SWORDS! Sephiroth reverts to a dying Kidaj who is hit by a rain storm that has the voice of Aeris. Kidaj who is dissolving in water has his body turned into Magic by the Lifestream Cloud is blindside by Azu's Pistols and Cloud Lars and Azu destroy each other as their bodies dissolve into mush! In the Afterlife, Aeris and the 3 villains decide to send Cloud back to land of the living, waking up in the lake in the Garden, people with the stigma are washing in it like the Ganges and getting cured, Cloud turns his head and sees the Ghosts of Aeris and Zac take their leave!
THIS FILM IS.....ERRRRR....
Well it's Fanservice! but it's nicely drawn and beautifully Animated FANSERVICE! Anyone who never played the game first hand, watched a lets play second hand or even watched the Reminiscence of ff7 extra on this dvd! will be lost, Zac is never mentioned til the end despite his death being the driving force of Cloud's story! The 3 Villains are 2 pansys and a special needs person crying and whinging for their Mammy! If the Kidaj Gang wore skirts, you'll think this was Jupiter Ascending! Avalanche coming in mid climax was also bad since people watching this for the 1st time will be confused over the Mr.T With a gunarm, the talking Tiger and the sentient Cat Plushie with the Scottish accent! Also Aeris being Voiced by Mena Suavari. Aeris is the most innocent soul and the biggest casualty of the war, but lines that sounded coy in Japanese, sound flirty in English and i doubt you can find a flatter Delivery of the words "Please, Calm Down" anywhere.
Still we are Not done with this Franchise, this film pleased the fans the next entry, Shat on it's Mythos entirely!
(It was a cold night and in the Town Centre, our heroes invited Yusef and Oracle to the Illumination of the christmas lights, the highlight being the giant Christmas Tree, then it happened the sky darkened and a dimension riff opened, bigger than one our heroes ever seen or themselves created out of this nexus came a massive Sky-Fortress, a blimp of immerse size! From two pods a missile each, launched themselves at the tree during the 20 foot fir into a blazing inferno! the crowd was too much in fear to run away!)
HE'S FOUND US! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE FOLLOWED US!
-THE TERROR HAS COME TO THIS EARTH!
(The blimp hovered over the hushed crowd ominously, then with almost an air of pomposity, the craft did a 90 degree turn revealing a giant tron screen that buzzed to live with a logo of a black screen and a gold capital "L" with two Laurel bracketing the letters the speakers boomed loudly over the shocked rabble!"
"THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE WAS PAID FOR BY THE LIBERATED WEALTH OF THE DEFEATED ENEMIES OF THE LEADER!"
The Logo flickered to The Leader, the dimensional Counterpart to myself! looking like a more fitter and muscular version of yours truly, he wore a black military uniform with a gold sash diagonally going doing to his waist, the slash was held in place by a single epaulet, making it look like a toga! to convey the roman theme in this underarm was a centurion-esque helmet adorned with gold laurel wreathes! He smiled, but his voice held no pleasantries!)
PATHETIC!
LOOK AT YOU ALL! CRAWLING AROUND LIKE INSECTS! BUYING FAKE AFFECTIONS WITH TRINKETS THAT WILL BE DISCARDED WHEN THE NOVELTY RARES OFF, DANCING AROUND IMAGERY OF ARCHAIC AUTHORITIES WHO USED THE BIRTH OF FICTIONAL MEN TO COMMIT GENOCIDE FOR CENTURIES, ALL IN THE TWISTED WORD OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING! RIGHT NOW YOU ARE SO WRAPPED UP IN YOUR WARPED PERCEPTION OF THE UNIVERSE, YOU CAN'T DECIDE IF I AM ONE PERSON...
(The screen blinked to a camera feed of our Eamonn!)
OR A PRE-RECORDING MADE BY THIS MAN!
(The reaction was understandable, i was dogpiled by several people and Arrested, i am in jail, FOR christmas! I fell for Leader's, Dark Eamonn, whatever you want to call him, i fell into his trap! For an Atheist Supervillian, he sure put the fear of God into those people.
From Now On?
NO ONE IS SAFE!
NOT EVEN HIM!
CREDITS
Final Fantasy 7: Advent children was Reviewed, Compiled, and edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Music and clips from
in part 1:
Final Fantasy 7
and Part 2:
Final Fantasy 7
Advent Children
World Championship Wrestling
final Fantasy is the Property of Square Enix. All Rights Reserved. All media used belong to their respected owners!
NEXT MONTH: NO SUMMONS? NO SWORDS NO CHOCOBOS? NO MYTHOS? NO PROBLEM! WE FINALLY CAST VANISH ON THE DISAPPOINTMENT THAT IS THE SPACE OPERA THAT SLAPPED THE NAME OF THIS FRANCHISE ONTO IT TO SELL CINEMA TICKETS-FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS THE WITHIN!
(It was a cold night and in the Town Centre, our heroes invited Yusef and Oracle to the Illumination of the christmas lights, the highlight being the giant Christmas Tree, then it happened the sky darkened and a dimension riff opened, bigger than one our heroes ever seen or themselves created out of this nexus came a massive Sky-Fortress, a blimp of immerse size! From two pods a missile each, launched themselves at the tree during the 20 foot fir into a blazing inferno! the crowd was too much in fear to run away!)
HE'S FOUND US! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE FOLLOWED US!
-THE TERROR HAS COME TO THIS EARTH!
(The blimp hovered over the hushed crowd ominously, then with almost an air of pomposity, the craft did a 90 degree turn revealing a giant tron screen that buzzed to live with a logo of a black screen and a gold capital "L" with two Laurel bracketing the letters the speakers boomed loudly over the shocked rabble!"
"THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE WAS PAID FOR BY THE LIBERATED WEALTH OF THE DEFEATED ENEMIES OF THE LEADER!"
The Logo flickered to The Leader, the dimensional Counterpart to myself! looking like a more fitter and muscular version of yours truly, he wore a black military uniform with a gold sash diagonally going doing to his waist, the slash was held in place by a single epaulet, making it look like a toga! to convey the roman theme in this underarm was a centurion-esque helmet adorned with gold laurel wreathes! He smiled, but his voice held no pleasantries!)
PATHETIC!
LOOK AT YOU ALL! CRAWLING AROUND LIKE INSECTS! BUYING FAKE AFFECTIONS WITH TRINKETS THAT WILL BE DISCARDED WHEN THE NOVELTY RARES OFF, DANCING AROUND IMAGERY OF ARCHAIC AUTHORITIES WHO USED THE BIRTH OF FICTIONAL MEN TO COMMIT GENOCIDE FOR CENTURIES, ALL IN THE TWISTED WORD OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING! RIGHT NOW YOU ARE SO WRAPPED UP IN YOUR WARPED PERCEPTION OF THE UNIVERSE, YOU CAN'T DECIDE IF I AM ONE PERSON...
(The screen blinked to a camera feed of our Eamonn!)
OR A PRE-RECORDING MADE BY THIS MAN!
(The reaction was understandable, i was dogpiled by several people and Arrested, i am in jail, FOR christmas! I fell for Leader's, Dark Eamonn, whatever you want to call him, i fell into his trap! For an Atheist Supervillian, he sure put the fear of God into those people.
From Now On?
NO ONE IS SAFE!
NOT EVEN HIM!
CREDITS
Final Fantasy 7: Advent children was Reviewed, Compiled, and edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With Music and clips from
in part 1:
Final Fantasy 7
and Part 2:
Final Fantasy 7
Advent Children
World Championship Wrestling
final Fantasy is the Property of Square Enix. All Rights Reserved. All media used belong to their respected owners!
NEXT MONTH: NO SUMMONS? NO SWORDS NO CHOCOBOS? NO MYTHOS? NO PROBLEM! WE FINALLY CAST VANISH ON THE DISAPPOINTMENT THAT IS THE SPACE OPERA THAT SLAPPED THE NAME OF THIS FRANCHISE ONTO IT TO SELL CINEMA TICKETS-FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS THE WITHIN!
