Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Episode 93: TOOTH FAIRY 2 PART 2

(this month's theme-because why the hell not?-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM
PREVIOUSLY ON TOOTH FAIRY 2....
The Rock's not in it, Julie Andrews is not in it, but happily, Stephen Merchant is not in it!)

We resume as Larry (The Cable Guy) arrives at his volunteer-ship at the rec centre to win back his ex girlfriend, he has arrived with healthy snacks for the kids, whilst carrying a plate of burritos for himself!

What kind of Moron brings fast food for himself, whilst convincing kids to eat healthy?

Anyway, the Lovable Lout mentions the tooth fairy which cause all the bigger kids to jeer,-mind you all the kids look like they just left acting school that day so all the kids look like your average Bowl Cut Boys and Child of Ambiguous Gender you always seem to get in these films. these are suppose to be down-trodden street kids!

That Night, Larry returns to the house where he failed his first assignment, the tv distracts him again, but he has a bigger problem. His Burritos have had a reaction to his fairy biology and he has started to....(facepalm) fart glitter! Despite the reaction that has made Thunderpants look subtle in comparison, Larry gets the tooth, but Nix is still unimpressed, siting that it look 2 days and supplies she couldn't spare to do it! Larry asks if their are children that EVEN BELIEVE in fairies anymore, Nix says that's his problem!

....A problem Larry is planning to fix, doing a storytime at the rec centre about fairies, hoping to get the children to believe. Gabe, the boy with the loose tooth that Larry insulted in part 1, has become antisocial,
(sigh!)
He's gonna be the final tooth Larry needs to keep his memory, isn't he?
So Predictable!
...He starts sweetly, but it ends with the children trying to hit each other to dislodge teeth so Larry can get it done quickly!

OUR HERO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
A Man who encourages children to self-harm to get off community service!

That night, Nix gives him more negative reinforcement and more importantly, fireflies to make him glow in the dark. Eating one turns his butt into that of a firefly, ripping his newly requested pink overalls, and making him susceptible to electric shocks, None the less, the 2nd tooth is collected!

So our 2 subplots are extended, Gabe's father cares more about forcing him into sports, and Brooke Invites Larry to her wedding Shower when Bo "accidentally" didn't invite any of her family from the trailer park to his Maison.

Oh, What's that, viewer?
"The next scene is Larry fighting his concise on doing the right thing over the desire to get revenge, with the hearts and minds of Children in the balance?"
BITCH PLEASE!
ENLIGHTENED KNOWS THAT!
NEW BORN BABYS KNOW THAT!

True to form, the desire to show up Bo is super-seeded by Larry's transformation into the tooth fairy, embarrassing poor Brooke by Bo's aged Maw-Maw acting like a Dirty old Woman by making Larry dance, but she does see how stuffy Bo is.

The Next assignment is a 2 storey house. You remember the 1st film where they established early that flight was powered by belief? Well they either forgot to include that into their mythos or between CGI Bowling pins and 100 bags of flour, they couldn't afford a flying effect! Needless to say this is becoming that Disney home video film of Tooth Fairy, the one with Kirsty Alley in it!

...And the children wake to confide in the tooth fairy, just like that film!

The daycare is running out of money, but Larry has a great idea. An art exhibition, one Gilligan Cut to said exhibition, and Gabe's pictures have sold out earning enough money for new supplies and toys, Though Brooke sees through Larry's game to impress her. Bo blows off Brooke when she wants to go wedding cake shopping, Larry, like all people, can't resist the offer of free cake. Bo arrives at the country club and completely derides Larry's presence, but our hero show us that he knows more about his ex than her fiance by pointing out an allergy of hers. Brooke gives Larry all the money as Bo's eyes dart as a musical shrill happens behind him.

It couldn't be more obvious what's gonna happen, if he had a handlebar moushtaste and stood near train tracks!

Sure enough, This MAYORAL CANDIDATE! stalks a care-worker and plans to steal toys from children!
THIS....THIS....Ugh...hehe...THIS WILL END WELL!

It also doesn't help has Larry is on assignment and has a Chevy full of toys, Bo steals all the toys and all credit the next morning- when he "buys" all the toys! Larry explaining that he's a tooth fairy doesn't help

That night, Larry flat out quits. Nix erases Larry most treasured memory. The next day at the Mechanics, Plot Convenience Community College calls Larry about how to recreate his winning shot, he realises that it wasn't his treasured memory, it was obviously all the times he spent with Brooke. Gabe has lost his tooth and doesn't know what do with it. Larry arrives in Fairyland....somehow!, and asks Nix for his job back, with his memory erased anyway, Nix complies, under condition that all his memories are on the line!

Gabe has set a mousetrap to catch Larry, Larry explains his ordeal, that he needs 5 more teeth or his memory will be lost again, Gabe helps by using his art to make cards for the 5 biggest meanest children of ambiguous Gender to convince them to believe.

Nix is pleased with the new stock of belief, that she gifts Larry with a secret weapon: Hummingbird wings-Essentially Chinese Medicine Style Hookum that gives the body the legendary speed of the tiny endangered animal!

The Night Before the wedding, Larry arrives at Brooke's house, to proclaim his love for her, telling her at if he could never remember being in love with her,  He'll be the saddest person ever, because not known why he lost it, will hurt more than losing it!

but never mind that-lets have Larry steal the guard-pig to distract an Avon party to recover Bowl-Cut tooth!

Brooke realises that she may have bet on the wrong horse, when Bo tells her that his greatest memory was about himself. Meanwhile Under the influence of the hummingbird wings, Larry collects 5 teeth only for the stuff to wear off with 15 minutes before midnight, only for Bo to arrive at the trailer park to give Larry a piece of his mind, Brooke has left him and the spin of marrying a local girl and "saving" her from the trailer park is ruined and he may lose the election, the news of Brooke back on the market, gives Larry the power of flight, Bo falls onto Larry's garbage pile, tearing at Larry's belt to save himself, covering himself with enough Amnesia Dust to put someone back in nappies!
AND IS NEVER SEEN AGAIN!

A year later, it's revealed Larry and Brooke got married, and she's pregnant, Nix appears and asks Larry to fill in for the State Fairy tonight, She reveals that he'll be help by his replacement-Crasher the Guard Pig! and so "Fat-man and hoggin" fly to the rescue

THIS FILM IS SO BAD, IT ACTUALLY BENDS THE NEEDLE BACK TO GOOD!

There is no star power, little budget, no dvd extras (this film was tied in a bundle with, you guessed it Tooth fairy 1!) but his has one thing going for it: NO STEPHEN MERCHANT! Larry the cable guy remains the king of unnecessary sequels-and he's not bad in this one, but my tune may change in December!

CREDITS
Tooth Fairy 2 was reviewed, compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham (@RealEnli)
With  footage and Music from
in part 1-
Forest Gump
and "Drive in At Night" from Street fighter 4

and Part 2

The Dentist song from Little shop of horrors

Tooth Fairy was produced by 20th century fox
all clips belong to there respected owners
All Rights Reserved

Next Month
Our very first documentary....As we review This Is It!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

EPISODE 92: Eamonn reviews Tooth Fairy 2 Part 1

(This week's theme-mainly because the climax happens there and music used  sounds a lot like this-
Street fighter 4-Drive in at night-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-VPGPVUuM8
We are 8 episodes away from 100 episodes and despite 4+ years of Bog Standard Filliums, we had never done a film with Larry the Cable Guy in it. We'll fret no longer, cause not only do we have 1 with him in it, It's also a sequel to one of my most read reviews, TOOTH FAIRY!

PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE~
Dwayne Johnson played a washed up hockey player, who stole tooth fairy money from his girlfriend's daughter to pay off a bet. Made to wear clothes that killed his tough guy persona and action hero cred, as well as put up with Stephen "the World's Second Unfunniest Man, who writes the jokes for the World's Unfunniest Man" Merchant, all at the same time as winning back his new family and reviving his career, as turning into the tooth happens as the worst possible time!

Expect the same, but without the star power of Julie Andrews and Billy Crystal, this is EPISODE 92: TOOTH FAIRY 2

We Start with a Jangly guitar riff as the scene fades into Larry's beatdown pick up truck driving to a bowling alley.

Wow! this film is so Southern-fried, all that's missing is a Handsome cad called Beauregard!

So, Larry (idiosyncratically played by Larry the cable guy) enters the raffle despite the chagrin of his girlfriend, Brooke. The raffle is hosted by a car salesman... A handsome cad called Beauregarde!

Oh, so it's one of those films, where the foreshadowing flows like sweet water to thirsty masses.

So Bo, the (groan!) former beau to Brooke rigs the raffle for Larry to win to steal his girl, it half works, as Larry slips on nacho cheese and not only picks up a spare out of a 7-10 split, but scores strikes on every lane due in the greatest piece of CGI ever.

A year later, and Larry learns that Bo is running for Mayor, with plans to marry Brooke, he confronts the daycare worker as Bo appears canvassing, Brooke tells Larry that she left him for having the maturity of a child and the social grace of a pig!

Bribing children to pelt the handsome man with water balloons, Larry is overcome with more jealousy, in a fit of depression tells a boy that tooth fairy don't exist, causing the child to get upset and Brooke even more anry with the selfish redneck.

That Night after reminiscing the good times with Brooke, Larry finds a summons under his pillow, much like the 1st film, Larry is put on community service and teleported to Fairyland, where it's no longer a non-denominational Santa's workshop but a white room with cabinets stretching towards infinity!

Julie Andrews has now being replaced with a child actress, who through-out negatively reinforces everything Larry does! Larry passes the whole thing off as a nightmare from eating too much chicken, denouncing chicken by naming every way to cook chicken!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhfK98f5S00

without a full studio of actors to exposist the film, it's now up to a badly animated cartoon short, it looks like those Zelda CDi games, but is that Tara Strong I Hear? the Plot is similar to the 1st, but Now Larry has to collect 10 teeth in 10 days, in his home town of Metro County, "Floridee", but fail to do so, Nix will steal his greatest memory, fearing that the Epic bowling shot was his only crowning achievement, he accepts.

Waking up Larry goes a-fixing to get his woman back, volunteering to work at the Daycare Facility, Leading to larry to turn Arts and crafts into a summer snowball fight using the film's remaining budget on flour and tights, Naturally getting the Children Messy and Potentially hurt has Made Brooke to remember how iresponible Larry Is!

That Night, Larry has his co-workers over to watch the game, when he transforms into the tooth fairy right in from of them, unlike the 1st, Larry doesn't instantly have the potions and powders to hand, so he uses subterfuge like "i'm in a play" or "i lost a bet", though he blasts them with amnesia dust anyway after a while.

1st assignment and it doesn't go well, as sleeping powder that works on cats and dogs, doesn't work so well on pigs!, even spiking a moon pie, depletes his stash, the urge to watch the game is too much and blows his cover cover, leaving empty handed. Nix uses her pink pallette swap spell on items in Larry's Trailer, siting the Redneck that he has 9 days to straighten up and Fly right!

WILL LARRY GIT-ER-DONE? AND WIN HIS LADY BACK?
IS THE WINNING THE CAR REALLY HIS BEST MEMORY?
DOES TARA STRONG'S VOICE REALLY EQUAL 1 JULIE ANDREWS
WHY ARE IRISH MOON PIES MUCH SMALLER THAN THE AMERICAN ONES?
FIND OUT NEXT MONTH! ONLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!