EPISODE 86: Eamonn Reviews Mr's Brown D'Movie

(This months theme-From the Soundtrack-The Script-Hail, Rain or Sunshine)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJRs8bSEhLQ
This month, I'm reviewing one of the most divisive franchises ever in recent memory, and 1 that is homegrown in Ireland: The Mrs Brown Franchise!

Yes you either see it as the BAFTA and IFTA winning comedy, the live theatre shows that fill the Point and Wembly to capacity, The show that told Putin to go feck himself when he ordered O'Carroll to re-write the character of Rory to be straight, and the money maker that has spawned books, dvd's and t-shirts, in other words you can't go into any city centre in Ireland without it on the telly, or a meme quoted at you! The Show also has a good deal of Meta-Humour in it!

~Or, you're on the other side and see it for what it is-A man in a dress telling jokes he nicked out of a Jo Brand and Joan Rivers joke books and dirty postcards, putting shows on with his family because no-one else would work with him!

Okay maybe I'm spreading the 2 opposing sides too thickly and I should find my centre, and to do that, It'll help if I explained the backstory!

Agnes Brown is the Creation of Brendan O'Carroll, An elderly, straight-talking, pushy but ultimately caring, Mother of 6, Now adult children, each one being the wide spectrum of Ireland after the Boom years-Micheal, a priest, Mark, a contracter, Trevor, a son who immigrated to Oz, Cathy, a Mature Student, Rory, a Hairdresser, and  Dermot, a sandwich-board man, Agnes is also caregiver (though I use  the term loosely) to her Father in-Law. Mark is married to Betty. Rory is in a Civil Partnership with Dino and Damien is Married to Maria, who in turn is also friends with local skanger, Buster Brady!

It seems that these days I'm becoming the "FOOTNOTE GUY" of ChannelAwesome!, so here are some handy Footnotes for all non-Irish readers!

Moore Street in Dublin, is famous for it's open Marketplace of Fruit sold out of pallets and of prams, get apples for mere pennies and get diphtheria  for free!

Skanger=CHAV, If you don't know what a chav is I explained that in part 1 of my Horrid Henry Review, this time last year!

So with that handy guide, let's take the Green Double Decker To Moore Street, this is Mrs Brown, D'Movie,

We start with Agnes (Brendan O'Carroll)  waking up after oversleeping, the morning routine is off and not going her way...except it's 5 in the evening, leaving the shows TV set and telling the audience she's excited about something, she pulls down the Dublin backdrop and reveals the real thing!
-YEAH ABOUT THAT! MRS BROWN'S TV SHOW IS NOT FILMED IN IRELAND! IT'S NOT EVEN FILMED BY IRISH TV! IT'S FILMED IN SCOTLAND BY THE BBC!

After a musical number of the Moore Street Traders setting up shop, Agnes gets a letter from the Revenue.
PLOT POINT!

At her fruit stall, she sees her son Dermot and his wife Maria(One of O'Carroll's real daughters) and their baby triplets. For those who don't watch the show, Dermot's running joke is that he's a sandwich board man with 5 minute breaks so he can't change out of whatever (usually embarrassing) costume he's told to wear! When Agnes asks how Buster (O'Carroll's real life son!) is doing...we cut to a courtroom.

Buster is on trial (seemingly again, by the judges comments!) for stealing a horse, back on Moore Street, Another Stall has being Seized by the County Council, When Agnes ponders who would gain from this, we cut to our villains for this piece, a corrupt politician  and a Russian Mafia don they are going to pull down Moore Street and put up a NOT-ALDI! in it's place!

So Agnes visits Kathy (Jennifer O'Carroll, Brendan's Real Life Wife) at her job in advertising, Kathy refutes Mammie's want of her inheriting the stall.

At church, Kathy confronts Agnes about the letter she got about the tax she owes, However the 94 Punt that her grandmother owes has ballooned to €4MILLION, in crisis the family has hired Tom Crews, the bumbling lawyer that barely got Buster acquitted.

The next day, A sleazy Lawyer for Not-ALDI! offers to buy the stall and settle the tax dispute. Kathy considers it, but poor Agnes is left consoling her photos of her Granny, the founder of her stall!

That night at Foley's, the Evil politician's name is revealed as Patrick Ryan Irwin-Candidate!
ERRR....I Don't think I've ever seen a electoral Poster where the name and the word candidate had being word-wrapped, but hey! no-one is going to stop an Acronym based joke on my blog! Agnes tells the bar that she was considering, but no matter how much people will try, it won't matter, Only for Winnie (O'carrol's Sister) Agnes' best friend to put her foot in her mouth, but remind Agnes of all her past glories fighting for the legacy of Moore Street-much to the annoyance of the Russian bodyguard listening at the bar-Ending with Mrs Brown's visoog on the cover of the Irish Star!

-MUST BE A SLOW DAY FOR THE IRISH STAR, USUALLY THEY JUST CUT AND PASTE THE BRITISH STAR AND CALL IT OUR NEWS! We Even have-HOW'S THIS FOR A MINDFUCK FOR IRISH PEOPLE?-But NORTHERN IRISH! news anchor Eamonn Holmes, in RTE!-cutting over to TV3!'S Karen Kostner! for those outside Ireland, I'm  getting at Ireland has 3 news stations- despite it's size, and only but Holmes as the One of 2 Irish celebs the Brits would recognize! Naturally the family are shocked but Agnes is soaking it up!

Dermot has his 5 minute break from being a Garden Gnome so he goes to the Community Centre to see buster doing Community Service taking over for Mr Wang (also Brendan O'Carroll) in teaching his Ninja school...for the blind! this will be part of the film climax!

And the next scene is one that scoured many eyeballs in the trailer, Agnes' gay son in a thong maniki trying to swim the channel! MOVING ON!

Dermot and Buster try to confront the Russians but only make matters worse. On the other side of the bar, Grandad has seen the entire shameful scene, gets the phone and tells the other end to get the "unit" back together,

Later that night, outside a Russian Coffee shop, Grandad's Unit, all  equally elderly men, watch Hammer Murphy, the bomb-maker with Parkinson's! it fails as you would have guessed, the bomb killing Murphy kilometres from the Russian shop.

The next day A neighbour tell agnes that her mother saw her grandmother pay the tax all those years ago, She also kept the receipt all those years, and Granny Brown paid after her! Crews hires a Lawyer called Mr Mayall-Archer (Audrey's Boyfriend out of Corrie!), Whose life was also ruined by P.R.I.C. And NOT-ALDI! He also tells Agnes that he suffers from Tourette's Under severe stress, and of course the aged witness dies!
OF COURSE SHE FUCKING DOES!

After Agnes and Winnie speed off from the funeral to National Record Services Where Blue Tooth Conversation Confusion (Why is this not a trope yet?) gets Agnes and Winnie Thrown out. Subderfuge by Dermot and Buster also fail spectacularly!

They should have called it "PLAN XANDER!" And have done with it!

That night, Buster gets his blind ninjas to attack the National Records ,but they injure themselves. A radio Interview (with cameo by Irish Talk Radio host Joe Duffy) reveal that Agnes put her children into care, thus potentially giving P.R.I.C. a counterclaim for their trail.

The next day at her stall, Agnes is so full of grief about putting the children in care all those years ago. she goes to church to confess...only for the audience to learn that It's being Wiretapped by the Russians!
...OH NO(!) The Catholic Church in Ireland is not on the-up-and-up, Colour me NOT SURPRISED!

The Day of the Trail. and PRIC is the prosecutor, who brings up Agnes collecting the children's allowance whilst her children were in care. This sets off Mr Mayall-Archer's Tourette's and the  Judge (Frank Kelly) can't take him seriously.

So buster makes another daring raid with the blind ninjas, back at home, the family have already forgivin Mammie, but she's missing, Kathy finds her inconsolable mother, but Mammie does explain that the nuns gave her a choice of only 2 to raise but refused, so she took all her children and jail-time. Kathy forgives Agnes.

In the Records Office, the Ninjas discover the receipt is missing deducing from the witnesses own docket that if Granny Brown was next in line the adjacent number will in storage-except it's missing-we cut to PRIC burning it, but reading the docket again, makes one of the ninjas tell Buster and Wang that the tax inspector was blind! and if the tax inspector was blind, then two dockets would be on display in the hall of records-one in braille! So the ninjas find it and are on the run.

Agnes goes to Moore street to apologise to the traders, but they are gone, only to see  all the traders at court. Buster escapes via air-vents and "borrows" Mr wang's Tuk-Tuk to escape the gun toting rushkies with the receipt. It ends with Damien, Agnes and Buster out Petrol on Ha'penny Bridge, surrounded by Gards and Russians, until the notice of the A-team's music, shows Grandad on a boat, with the music blaring out of a radio. telling them to jump into River Liffey, With buster causing a hole in the boat. Mark Brown (another son, but not in real life!) drives buster and Damien to the Russians split up but 1 gives chase, but it turns out that Buster gave agnes a betting slip by accident and the Russians did a number on Mark's Van.

But remember Buster's Trail for Stealing A Horse-I DIDN'T! until we see him on 1 whilst still dressed as a ninja

Back at court-PRIC lets out the amount offered by Not-ALDI, giving the bumbling Crews a fighting chance. Kathy gives an impassioned speech and reveals that she's ready to inherit the stall on her turn.

So let's fecking finish this fecking fecker!
Buster and Damien in a nod to Into The West, Burst into the Supreme Court with the Evidence on the Horse, Mrs Brown Wins the Case, The Russians capture PRIC, Agnes signs off with her catchphrase, "It always works out in the end" as cast, crew and stunt people dance on the steps of the Supreme Court.

And so I suppose you want me to finally put this film to rest-Well I can't help you because HALF OF THIS FILM SUCKS!

When I said that this film was divisive, I was not kidding!
Postives include actually filmed in Dublin, rather than the shows sound stage in Scotland and it's cameos of Irish celebrities (Joe Duffy, Shane Duffy, John Kenny) though the newsreaders in the wrong studios made me deduct points for realism. And I was surprised by Jenny O'Carroll's little filibuster at the end of the court scene-She can really act!

But at the end of the day, it's still a man in dress making cock jokes and I didn't like the double shift of Brendan as Mr Wang-who we are told is not Chinese, he's just very tanned, but doesn't stop him from speaking Engrish Ranguage! The other running joke of Raj being mistaken for Jamaican, when, with a name like Raj, definitely isn't, went nowhere. As then they're were some of the extras, who stared into the camera and hammed it up-or maybe they were relations too!

Still he's my final say: Mrs Brown D'Movie: A Marmite film and just maybe, Europe's answer to Office Space In that Regard!

CREDITS
Mrs Brown D'Movie was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited by Eamonn Bermingham
With Music from
The Script: Hail Rain or Sunshine
Mrs Brown D'Movie is Property of the BBC and Distributed by Universal. All Rights Reserved
Follow me on Twitter @RealEnli

NEXT MONTH:THIS MONTH A DIVISIVE FILM, NEXT MONTH A DIVISIVE ACTOR, WITH THE WORLD AGAINST HIM, HOW DOES THE MUSCLES FROM BRUSSELS FARE IN HIS COMEBACK, JCVD?

Eamonn Reviews Dumb and Dumberer

(This Month's Theme-From the soundtrack, and as any old excuse to play the Who-Magic Bus!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl9bvuAV-Ao
Dateline: Friday the 26th December 2013.
The Day the Finite Pool of Xmas Joy ran out of me.
As I returned to my home after yearly get-together with my family, I started to work on this. and as soon the opening joke manifested, out came the white drinking chocolate snowball, and in it's place my trusty can of Monster. YES IT WAS ON OF THOSE FILMS, AND THE ENLIGHTENED WAS BACK!

Up until recently, Jim Carrey was considered the smartest, shrewdest actor in Hollywood ,Despite Making his money in the 90's at the top of this popularity, pitches for Mask and Trueman show sequels never swayed him, I mean Ace Ventura 2 must have Weaned him off sequels forever, not that any original productions since the 2000's have had the desired affect. the magic was there but for magic to work the set-up and assistants must be precise, also!

With Dumber and Dumber To getting it's divisive reviews, it's save to say that everyone agrees....THAT DUMB AND DUMBERER IS THE DOG'S BOLLOCKS!

I mean, look at this dvd cover, here the young Lloyd and Harry have contorted their bodies to look like apes in the Ascent Of Man Display. Also One Thing is very hard to Miss. The actors Names. Who are these Men in their 1st starring Roles, Did the studio had that little Faith in revealing even the names of these Schmucks to the Public?

We Open to a classy start-the first person view of the Birth of Harry Dunne-8 years later the lonely Harry is being home schooled but has an imaginary friend. Cut 10 more years and his mother tricks Harry to going to high school. By giving him a fake treasure map of the school.

Meanwhile Lloyd's humble beginnings as the (Obviously Adoptive) son of the school janitor, raised on stolen supplies and dressed with Lost clothing! Because he lives in the school, he actually leaves the school grounds when the class bell goes!

So you know where this is going, each of the dumbasses bump into each other, Harry dislodging a top tooth in Lloyd's mouth to reveal this gap!

So it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, like Oz frightening the Cowardly lion in the first place!

And thus 30+ year game of tag begins!

Lloyd explains how cliques work however Lloyd's mix of dumbness and potentially dark sense of self-delusion, completely gets it wrong, Harry falls for the most popular girl in school, Jessica, who is a reporter doing a report on Harry, she is also the girlfriend to Lloyd's bully. Of course she fucking is!

We cut to Principle Collin's (Eugene Levy) plans to defraud the Rhode Island Education Board by putting all his smarter and socially awkward students into a Fake Special Needs Class to use the money to buy a house in Hawaii, Eying our 2 putzes as a pair of patsys.

HEY ROBERT BRENER, SIT AND SPIN!

Speaking as someone with Mild Asperger's Syndrome, you're saying that people like me who gained Higher Education are beneath you, and yet here you are ,the writer of what many consider to be the most insulting film of all time!

So "The Special Needs" class is basically the lunchlady Principal Collins is having an affair with taking the two putzes into the kitchen and recruiting them to "find more of their kind!", as a fuller number of students would legitimize the grant money. This leads to a montage of recruiting the school's slackers and reprobates too lazy to do actual schoolwork, Ending with the reveal of GobShia La Bouef, Meaning the the bits so far of Harry's first person view of his birth and Lloyd drying himself with sanitary towels, those have been the classy jokes!

So the 2 have a sleepover at Harry's where Lloyd thinks Harry's Mum has came on to him, MOVING ON!

The next day, the Principal shoves his patsy's into the Janitor's shed as their new classroom, forgetting that important fact that Lloyd is the Janitor's son. When Lloyd explains, his dad misunderstands and is so proud of being the son of someone in a "gifted" class!

So the Patsys go their separate ways. But with Harry and Lloyd getting "Slushees" (Fun Fact: none of the world's Slushed Ice drinks companies wanted anything to do with merching this turd, until Slushee, an Irish company took the call, and so proud of being the 1st Irish company to be advertised in an American film, Screenshots of the following Brainfreeze scene adorned their cups. But your film, set in 20th century America must so bad if not even Coke or MacDonalds are present!) So Lloyd introduces Harry to the addictive but temperance-approved joy of the Slushee-a 4 Celsius Mushroom Samba which is ultimately a-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ds4xhz-xIY

So Collins and the LunchLady are having a luau to celebrate that the cheque is coming in the day of the Thanksgiving week school Parade. He then locks all pertaining documents into what looks like a treasure chest.

(Heads in hands!)

A TREASURE CHEST....AND TWO GOMS WHO HAVE A FAKE TREASURE MAP OF THE SCHOOL.

Now i feel like my head is in a brain freeze!

And Sure enough, the then forgotten map makes a brief comeback before Jessica questions the Legitimacy of the Special Class, before they hop on the short bus to the Museum.

Jessica tails the short-bus and tells Harry the Special Class is a scam. When she invites him to her house, he misunderstands and think it's a date. Lloyd tells him to get her some chocolates.

....And that's when Quality of the Comedy in this movie slips from 3-star to Wayans Brother  Levels.

Harry has a bar of Chocolate in his back trouser pocket and Jessica makes Harry sit on a radiator. The overheated chocolate swells his buttocks area and the ensuing explosion of chocolate all over Jessica's house in front of her parents makes look like he shit over the place! 

GOT THAT?

GOOD!

WASTED 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE WATCHING IT FIRST HAND!

In the midst of the chaos, Lloyd who was his wingman, thinks he's now in with a shot. And Jessica...actually leads him on!, Just so she can use his father's skeleton keys! but Lloyd isn't not pleased by Jessica using innuendo and just leaves, but then he finds the Chest. But we go through a Broken friendship Montage, the Only Satisfying bit is Lloyd tackling SHITTY LABOUF! 

Collins finds this chest stolen and wrongly accuses Jessica, the Lunchlady distracts the "Special Needs" class by making a float, debunking all ideas, because it needs to look like it's made by Special people ie. crap looking!

So after a 3rd montage! (This film is nothing but montages!) the class make a washington float. After a painful scene with the two gobdaws bribing a child to get them slushees, they rescue a kidnapped Jessica by causing a gas station explosion that propels their shopping cart down the street but get distracted by icecream. Jessica leads on the two mouthbreathers on a bit more, tricking them into opening the chest.  At the parade the special needs class sees and hears all the evidence, Transforming Washington into an effigy of Collins dressed as a pirate.

Now to finish this!

Collins is rumbled and arrested for 20 years. Harry and Lloyd are deemed heroes by all but blow off the advances of twins, resulting in harry getting covered in mud, Leading to another confrontation with Jessica's father who still thinks Harry is covered in shit again, despite obvious mud tracks and holes everywhere!

OH GOD, PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY EYEBALLS, BECAUSE THIS FILM SUCKS!

This film is repulsive!

Not just to Autistic People, but to comedy, every mistimed joke, every punchline that doesn't hit it's mark, every padding montage, every vile characterization. I don't know who those sclumbs were and I don't care. Prequels are film art that has not being fully practiced. let alone Mastered

CREDITS

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd was Reviewed Compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham (follow on twitter @RealEnli)

With Clips and music from:

Nostalgia critic

Mr's brown 

and Music "Magic Bus" by the Who

Dumb and Dumber is Distributed by Entertainment In Video, All rights Reserved and all clips belong to their respective owners

NEXT MONTH: WANT TO HEAR THE MOST ANNOYING SOUND IN THE WORLD?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2QzYYphApI