Eamonn reviews Ant n Dec's Alien Autopsy

(this months theme P.J. and Duncan (ant n dec) lets get ready to rumble- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_sJmIQrH54 )

If you're an American and you ask a british person to name something they dont have in America and after sarcasticly saying the English langaunge they will say
1) our beautiful landscape
2) Cadbury's Chocolate (more on that later!)
3) and Ant n Dec on the television.

so let me explain to my international readers who they are.

Declan donneley and Ant Mcparlan are britian's biggest TV stars. starting in depressingly bad childerns show Byker Grove (with biker spelled with a Y...B-COZ PUR LITRA-C IZ...KEWL!)
They even became a boy-band the ear sodomy above is their biggest "hit" before a decade later hosting the award winning "Saturday Night Takeaway". And they joke about their music carear

Ant: we where number 1 for 9 weeks
Dec: no we where number 9 for 1 weeks

But you will never hear anything about this film. Mainly because die-hard fans where expected to see a feature film of there own material.

so with that in mind lets "probe" into Alien Autopsy and see what the fuss is about!

So the film starts cleaverly in the office of the studio that released this film. Qwerty films. the director is told that their next subjects refused to sign contracts until the director googles there names.And the film starts by rewinding the screen.

let me take you back to 1995, Peter kay made his tv debut, playstation blindsided nintendo and sega in the Console Wars and My childhood was ruined by THE VAN DAMME FILM THAT MUST NOT BE NAMED!

its also the year that(real life, this is a true story) two london businessmen created a hoax.

so this is the story of Ray Santelli(Dec) and Gary Sheffield(Ant). Okay, calling ray a business man is a overstatement as he makes Pirate videos. but he is going into jerk with a heart of gold terriority by using the money to look after his nan.

so after Ray is arrested he goes to Gary's workplace. Gary is a clerk at a legal firm and Jimmy carr is his boss who overlooks gary for promotion and also tasks gary to pick candidate for the job he wanted. and he plays it with aplomb.

so the guys go to Cleaveland ohio to buy footage for Elvis last performance.they came for Elvis memberbillia but came back with something more...
(the real Santelli and Sheffield to this day claim they did see actual alien footage)

so the boys need an investor so they turned to Vorash an alien obsessed slightly unhinged drug dealer.

Unfortunatly the film is so sun damaged and ray fearing his life devises a plan. with the help of specially made dummy, omar dwadji as a camera man  and kebab off-cuttings. the filming is a trail of errors, with Dwadji hamming it as a director and nan getting into shot offering cups of tea.

so Vorash is shown the film and is moved to tears.

Ray did it! it is the con of the centuary!
but its not enough!

Ray screens it at the London Muesum. world soon spreads worldwide. so gary quits his job(though Doug walkers was better.) so they plan to sell it to the highest bidder in every country.

things take a turn for the worse. vorash gets killed by the CIA, steal the original film and conclude its a fake!

so its the night of the premiere. And Johnathan frakes (of star trek fame) makes a cameo as the host of his own programme, fact or fiction. Gary is angry that ray gets all the credit. Gary is scared of the trappings of fame, but ray just rolls with, travelling to Argentina to be interviewed. but gets carried away with his stories.
Eventually they ask for original footage but of course the cia stole it from Vorash.

The Original owner is targeted by reporters, so ray plans to give the news networks an interview with a bum posing as him.

Unfortunatly the lab engineer has salvaged some of the original film. and it was a real autopsy. Shocked by the reality that they could have made more money, they bury it. so the film ended with an interview with the real Santelli and Sheffield.

THIS FILM WAS...meh!
Ant and dec, who werent the best child actors havent improved with age. Thankfully they have a strong support in Omar Dwadji, Bill Pullman, Jonathan Frakes and Jimmy Carr. its easy to see that hardcore fans of the duo hate this film, but you can't blame them for trying something different. If you a looking a film that will knock 2 hours from you if your bored. then this is worth "abducting". If you where expected something more, then you deserve to be blinded by a paintball gun!

well thats it. And i am glad to announce that starting friday the 5th of november 2010 is my theme month of Cadbury's chocolate. that is over at pathofenlightment.blogspot.com and if you have any questions or just want to say hi, click here at  http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment