(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGERBOXOFFICE...
Eamonn's Attempt to destroy the Meteor heading to Earth was thwarted by damage to the Express train to Hell. Leading to Earth being in the hands of fate.
Speaking of Hands, the giant Hands that saved Eamonn, Belong to Sabaru, a Humonoid of Great Beauty, Untold Magic Power and Hidden secrets....like why is trapping Creatures from Every Planet and referring to them as "Signees?"
When we left off Eamonn was teleported back to Earth, seemingly aged and now Dressed as some kind of Security Operative or G-man. covered in a Poncho like garb. He threw off the Garment, Revealing that his Gae Dearg Gauntlet, his weapon made to control and maintain the power of his Satanic Fist, was now upgraded into a amorphous, vorpal liquid metal, that Eamonn command by thought into a sword. he then jumped into the air as the back of his bullet proof vest, opened like a Beetles back to reveal a jet pack. Using the sword and Chi in destroyed the Meteorite, cutting into several pieces then blasting and Teleporting those pieces that would still be a threat. All the Time. Eamonn was Tracked by Camera Droid that looked like Spiders climbing walls and trees to get shots by climbing via Film Strip "Webbing"
When the crisis was over, Eamonn standing in the settling sandstorm he had created. Put the Sword over his shoulder. The Blade melted back into a Gold-Pinkish Metal Gauntlet, that went up his formarm and ended with a Cloth like material that even had embroidery like filigree design. He Turned to Joe-Jack, His Mother and Ostrich.
"HEY"
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
Look, I said it over on Enlightened Towers In October before closing it til 2021, but fuck this year! So hell in a cell was a last gasp of a wwe show, NOW TO END 2020 With a glorified Deleted scene Masquerading as a sequel!
Oh look It's their Faces as the dvd cover! Moving on!
It's Strange I'm Doing a Sequel without ever delving into the Original Film So Here's the skinny: 3 Chicago Mothers, Overworked, Overwhelmed and Underappreciated By the Snobby PTA, Decide to to use their free-time to get drunk and party, much to the chagrin of every Karen in the 'Burbs! It costs Mila Kunis' character her marriage but she has bounced back re-marries and co-parenting her kids and the daughter of her new husband, Jessie!
We start At the Aftermath of Amy Mitchell's (Mila Kunis) Ruined Christmas! A toppled tree, A ruined Banquet, and a camel running past A drunk Amy!
We are told the story in flashback and with stock footage of a Nice family Christmas, However Amy is a single mother now so she is singlehandedly fixing up Christmas decorations and being Judged by the women who have hired help! And to make matters worse! Amy's mother has invited herself to her home!
We cut to Kiki (Kristen Bell) A Stepford wife And her 3 bowlcut Children Causing Havoc and Stepford Kiki to blow a circuit of her programming! Doorbell and what what maybe a prevailing theme, Her Mother has arrived announced, Played by Useless Adult Stereotype Typecast, Cheryl Hines.
And finally Crass White Trash Spa Worker Carla (Katryn Haan) Returns home to she her Roadie Mom taking a ride off a truck. She's happy to see her, which is a change, But Momma is too drunk to it's now Christmas! So Carla sees through Her Bullshit!: Momma wants Money, But she's being coy about it!
5 days til Christmas, and Amy Has laid a last minute Party spread to impress her mother, Too Bad Her Mother is the Ultimate Karen, Here is a quote from the film that actually made me laugh:
"WHEN I WAS 6, I MADE MY MOTHER A BIRTHDAY CARD! SHE RETURNED IT TO ME WITH CORRECTED GRAMMAR!"
So 5 Minutes in, and i want to punch Amy's Mom and her Toadie Dad! She Gifts her Biological Grandchildren Gifts, Mistakes Amy's Latino Husband as the Help and Basically Shits all over the efforts of her daughter! Basically, the plot of the 1st film in the space of a minute. And she has invited 180 of versions of her to Chicago on Christmas eve and expects her Daughter to foot the bill.
4 days til Christmas and Shopping is a nightmare with Unruly Kids, So They Decide to get drunk and deal with Christmas, Bad Moms Style, Putting pressure on themselves and getting nowt in return? it's the PTA all over again! So filled with Bile, and mostly alcohol, We see them give the children a run for their money, So it's MONTAGE TIME! Getting drunk, Kissing Strangers, Twerking on Santy, and it all ends with them stealing a tree from Foot-Locker to appease Karen-SPOILERS! IT DOESN'T!
Over at Kiki's-Cheryl's clinginess to her daughter manifests when they notice sitting in the corner whilst Kiki and Harold are having sex!
3days Before Christmas, and Amy wakes to workmen in her house as Karen Lavishes Decorations and Expensive gifts to her grandchildren, Pisses of Down-To-Earth Carla when she hears about it later, All Amy's other friends are going to a Soft Play-Area later, But Karen expects the family to go to the Nutcracker-Not the twee version, but the 5 hour version in Russian, just so she can splash the cash! At the Spa we learn why Susan has arrived back to Chicago...for free spa Treatments form her Daughter, So Carla heaps the scorn about being single til Susan half-listening just says "Spare Change, Bro?" She wants $15k for a undisclosed reason and Carla folds as Susan starts to shoplift!
That Night Amy snaps and brings her family to the soft play area instead of the ballet. In the Mall we finally learn the Mothers Names, The Karen is Ruth, Cheryl Hines is Sandy and Susan Sarandon is...
"ISIS.....LIKE THE TERRORISTS!"
All the 3 families have low budget fun in a montage, except Ruth of course, Until Jessie's Daughter asks "the grandmas" to play Dodgeball, Ruth and Isis take that Personally and Ruth takes it too far when its only her and Amy Left in a high noon style shootout! Amy wins then Ruth takes a slow motion Ball to the Vag! Besmirched in Public, Ruth vows to husband to double her efforts
2 Days til Christmas and at the Spa, Carla's next waxing appointment is a male stripper (JESUS CHRIST! IT'S THE SIZE OF A TRAFFIC CONE! I'M GONNA NEED MORE WAX!" ACTUAL FUCKING QUOTE!) At Therapy Sandy and Kiki hash it out as Dr Wanda Sykes, PHD in Black Stereotypes, wags her finger and Tells Us Mama Don't Like That! Especially when Sandy Fakes Cancer for Attention!
Over at Amy's Ruth's "Doubled Efforts" has manifested in making the whole family Christmas carol all night, with a professional choir at course to win the Neighbourhood Carolling Contest, force Amy to be dressed as Scrooge, much to the delight of the Elitest Karens of the PTA! Thoroughly embarrassed, Amy tells Ruth that she wants a mellow christmas, with her ALL! of her children and her new husband!
That Night the Bad moms, go to the Sexy Santa Contest, Ty told Carla about! Seeing the Beautician, Ty invites Carla to dance on stage, Until Isis makes an ass of herself and falls through the bar! Though Embarrassed by the accident, Ty promises to stay in touch!
Ruth tries to Poison her Biological Grandchildren against their mother, bearing more expensive gifts. Christmas eve and Carla and Isis are scamming booze from shoppers with a fake canned food drive! Carla wants Isis to stay so she gives Isis 500 dollars for the "investment"!
Over at Kiki's Sandy's Gift to her Daughter is a spare Key to her New House, next to her's, This is when the rest of Stepford Kiki's Programming has short-circuited into a Nuclear Meltdown!
Returning from Sledding, Amy is shocked to see Ruth has Commandeered the house to host a Big Ridicolous Party, Including a Life Size Nativity scene with Camels, for all her snobby friends, Amy confronts Ruth and the truth comes out: Not being Married to a wealthy man has made Amy an embarrassment in the eyes of Ruth's friends: Angry, Amy destroys everything that was destroyed in scene one, as her children look on in horror! So Amy Kicks Ruth out!
So We are Back where we started, Meanwhile, Isis has done a Midnight Flit with Carla's Money, Sandy is now in deep thought in a house she now regrets Buying, whilst Ruth is in an empty church, when Sandy and Isis turn up all feeling shitty about themselves. Meanwhile Without Ruth's thumbprint on his forehead, Amy's dad can actually parent his daughter, and tells Amy that Ruth is the most insecure person he know. Wanting to apologize, Amy asks her father where Ruth is and it's Christmas Eve: where does any Rich, Conceited Big-shot go to be seen and save face?
THAT'S RIGHT, MASS!
It takes a lot, but Ruth Apologizes and we have a make up Montage of mother and daughter re-decorating the house in a style that is a compromise, though she is still racist to Jesse,....so baby-steps? In Kiki's house, Sandy has sold the house next door as she is returning to Nebraska, and Isis returned the mother and so the 3 families have Chinese food for Christmas dinner Until Ty comes to express his love for Carla....through the medium of Erotic Dance!
THIS FILM IS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!
The story is solid, the characters relatable, the support cast is great (Susan Sarandon is a hoot!) and while the Comedy is clever, it's not as crass as i thought it would be! I wouldn't mind watching it again, but is it the best Christmas film? HARDLY!
CREDITS
Bad mom's Christmas was reviewed, compiled and edited by Eamonn Bermingham @RealEnli
with media from the same!
Bad Mom's Christmas is distributed by Entertainment in Video. All rights reserved.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM BOGGER BOX OFFICE!
I will return on January the 4th with on enlightenedtowers.blogspot.ie with a schedule of all the posts I plan in 2021. So until then, all contact is through my Twitter account! Merry Christmas and a happy new year and WEAR YOUR FECKING MASKS!
