Tuesday, February 14, 2017

EPISODE 122: ALMOST FAMOUS PART 1

 (Joe-Jack Drove Eamonn From the Jail back to Enlightened Towers. With It's Master back The Imaginary Office Block reopened it's Doors. Eamonn Entered and Approached Yusef,...and punched him in the face! Joe-jack Saw his Dimensional Counterpart Lip Swell and break and in Response of the Quantum Entanglement, his lip swelled also.

Over Yusef's moaning Eamonn's Voice rang clear "TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR WORLD'S EAMONN!"

"FINE" He said with a spit off blood "I'll tell you everything! But You'll Wish I Didn't!"

The Eamonn Of My world, like you, is Autistic and Became An Athiest, But he was A gentle Soul who was friendly and trusting to a fault, constantly tricked into giving supplies to greedy people and the fall guy for crime. Like ME he was, by default, a Son Of Prometheus, a Band of Freedom Fighters who sought to restore technology against the Luddite British Empire. Out of Ideas and for the sake of Humouring Eamonn, we conducted a ritual Summoning! The fact that Oracle arrived from her Dimension was completely coincidental. Under the control of her programming to convert this Earth into an Electric Superweapon. The lack of Electricity put both her biological and mechanical components under a strain, and the girl collapsed.

Thinking the Girl was Dead, we laid her "Body" on a table. Using my Shock Stick to resuscitate the girl, Eamonn with child like curiosity poked and tampered with Oracle's cybernetic Implants. Internally Oracle's Plan to complete her mission had her considering her Options

WARNING! DRONE UNIT COMPROMISED! BEGINNING SPACIAL SCAN!
POWER INSUFFICIENT TO POWER UNIT!
DRONES SENT TO PLANET: 7
AVAILABLE DRONES IN VICINITY
DRONES CURRENTLY ACTIVATED:0
APPROPRIATING POWER FROM DRONES NO LONGER COURSE OF ACTION
CONSIDERING ALTERNATE...
PLANET HAS NO ELECTRIC GRID!
SIPHONING ELECTRIC GRID NO LONGER COURSE OF ACTION
CONSIDERING ALTERNATIVE...
COMMENCING DOWNLOAD TO NEXT AVAILABLE HUMAN!

And that was that! Oracle Basically Looked Eamonn in the Eye and filled his feeble human mind with the Knowledge of the Universe. At first he was an Asset, his strategies and Charisma winning us many battles and followers. But knowledge removed all Emotion and Humanity!

The Kindness and Gentleness that made him take advantage for their gain, had become a disdain and hatred for the worse parts of Humanity, Greed, Superstition and Self Righteousness! With all the knowledge he now possessed he did what all Autistic People wish to do, No longer have to live in their world, but make a machine that will force them to see what he sees, and feel as insignificant as he had once felt!

Remember when we first met I told you to put on your "other" Gauntlet? That is because With Power Stolen, he forged 2 bracelets, like The Prometheus he once fought with, Eamonn gave his Gauntlet's classical Names, Gaia, a bracelet with powers of seasons, weather and wind, and Charon, A vile instrument of Flame, Earthquakes, Disaster and Death. Combined he can use the power  to summon the Terror!  

With the Frightful Might of the Terror, All the world Succumbed, Minds Forced shut by the cold hard fact that their is no God. Mothers killed their children to "spare" them, The Country that held the Religious Leaders Decimated  from Orbit by Lasers, the word "LIARS!" Scarred into Italy, then The Middle East. Those strong enough to endure the Terror, were conditioned further into his Army. Now part of an Atheist Udermench  Society, that treats Imagination as Subject Of Ethnic Cleansing!

so now You Know, And that is why i came to kill you, so My Eamonn would have Died Also.
-I want to Help, Yusef, If any damage happens to this Earth then the Multiverse will Burn, Though I must Say it maybe impossible to spare such a being who no longer feels the warmth of kindness. and to kill him without me Dying Also!

The Others Tell Stories about your Adventures, they say no matter how bad you have it, Limits Are Made To Be Broken!

AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
In the last few months our films have being action packed, so lets slow the pace down a bit, this was meant to be a breather Episode Before This Year's 3 TICKETS TO HELL! EVENT, but i overestimated how long this film would be

So let's plug in our basses, turn up the volume and Dig into Almost Famous.

(From the award winning Sound Track the original Song, Fever Dog)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCAsW_9CkYw

Image result for almost famous cover
OH HAI, HALF NAKED TEENAGE KATE HUDSON! DO YOU KNOW WHY THIS FILM BECAME SO POPULAR(?)

The 1st Time I saw this Poster was In A Traffic Jam filled with abandoned land rovers and Tractors In Carlow Town when i was a teenager in 2001, when this film came out, the Multiplex used to be next to Main Street opposite SuperValu. That Day the Entire Street Opposite the Cinema were full of young Men with their Fathers, Uncles and Grandads, showing them this new gadget called a "Camera-Phone" so Kate Hudson always has that, this film sold the Camera-Phones to the Horny Culchies of Ireland!

It's Ironic that this film used an Oversexulised Image of a teenage Actress to sell tickets to a film which is a Cautionary Tale About living Vicariously through Famous People.

The film Starts with Unique Opening Credits of the Actors Names written on Post-It Notes as a shaky camera gives us that feeling of Living through another's eyes, as we see a drawer filled with rock Memorabilia.

We cit to some Beautiful Cinematography of California as The Chipmunks Christmas Album plays out. On Face Value you would think with the Palm Trees, Surfers and Bikini Girls it was summer but it really is Christmas! This is the world we are about to enter, Perception is Wafer thin and not a single tote has smoked yet!

It's 1969 and a mother and son has just exited a showing of To Kill A Mockingbird. The Daughter of the family Anita (Zooey Deschanal ) has returned trying to sneak home an album of Simon and Garfunkel Home. Turns out the Mother, Elaine, is completely Puritanical about every outside influence in their children's lives, Emphasis on "Tyrannical" William's Mother is so Delusional, that William is not a 1st year High school Genius at 12, simply a son of a 6 grade teacher who  home schooled  her child at that level at his 11 years of life, because of her not wanting her child have outside influences or "Paying the Premium Fee to become typical" as she put it!

Tired of being a second banana despite being the older sister, Anita leaves home to become a stewardess, but not before outclassing William's child actor...

"MAN! YOU LOOK AFTER HER IN SAN! FRANCIS! CO....MAN!"
"YAY! I'm Acting!"

With Anita Gone, William finds her records and a message to play The Who's Tommy next to a lit candle and he will see the future!!

"for the last time ,Anita! that is not how you Summon One of The Great Old Ones!"

Sure Enough, 3 years pass and "billy" (Patrick Fugit) has tracked down former Rolling Stone Journo, Lester Bangs (The Late Great Phillip Seymour Hoffman). Bangs tells the young Billy, a  part-time journo for a small local magazine, that while his criquites are good, A little squeaky clean kid from the 'burbs will be used and Abused by everyone on the music world. Though Bangs Realizes Billy won't Listen to him now, he gives the young man his number if he gets into Trouble.

Days Later, and Black Sabbath is performing in San Diego, despite his mother's Reservations, She brings Billy to the show to write a report for the magazine. Being stiffed by security, Billy is forced to wait with the groupies (including  Anna Paquin) It's there Billy meets Penny Lane (Hudson) who gets defensive when Billy calls her and the other's "Groupies", Preferring  to use the term "band-aid", A sort of Modern day Muse. That air of Bullshit is dispelled when Another Girl, Sapphire (Fairuza Banks) dressed vampishly, holding booze is at least 15 hooks up the groupies, Penny says she will try and hook Billy up to. It's about this time the supporting band, Stillwater turns up. Billy butters up the band despite their mistrust of music Journos. He is let in, but gains a nickname: "The Enemy"

Despite having the worst luck and even worse Journo equipment, Billy has made it backstage, it Seems that the band's guitarist  Russell (Billy Crudup)and Penny have met each other before, and hooked up, despite her being 16!

Billy has become swept up in the rock lifestyle, Russell invite him to L.A. Provided Penny turns up, Turns out Penny is also from San Diego, and two become fast friends, despite Billy never learning her real name, However the fact that the trip to L.A is accosted by a more geekier, would-be journo, Billy didn't realize that the THIS LOSER IS YOU trope was in affect, and was oblivious to Penny using Billy as a taxi should have being cause from alarm, the fact that Penny and Russell got hot and Steamy in an ice room only went and hurt Billy's feelings

WILL BILLY SURVIVE THE CRUSHING WEIGHT OF FAME? WILL PENNY REVEAL HER REAL NAME?
FIND OUT IN MARCH, ONLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

EPISODE 121: HARLEY QUINN'S ASS FEATURING THE SUI-SHITE SQUAD PART 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UprcpdwuwCg

(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE:
We started work on Suicide Squad, and oh boy isn't this textbook style over substance! the story so far, Morally ambiguous and ambitious Jail Warden Amanda Waller proposed a team of C-list Villains, as a last line of defense after Superman is supposedly killed. As the hopes and needs of each of the Team is explored, One of the team, The Joker's Girlfriend, Harley Quinn, is attempted to be rescued by the Clown Prince Of Crime. Also in the team are the Couple of Commander Flag and his Girlfriend, Jill Moon, who is possessed by a magical being called the Enchantress. However Jill Can't control the Creature as well as she made out! And now we join the Team as our heroes are acquitted to take her down!

As the "Brother" continues absorb all in the train station, Flag tells Jill to suit up, unaware that "Brother" hold powers that make Enchantress take full control of Jill's Body. The Squad is joined by Slipknot, a He-man Woman Hater, and "The Man Who Can Climb Anything!" and Katana, a Vengeance Wielding Japanese Widowed Assassin that Wields a Soul Absorbing Sword, that killed her husband.

As the Squad are flown over New Yor-I MEAN- Midway City, at the same time, the Joker has Arrived. Slipknot and Boomerang are convinced their bomb trackers are just Trackers. they ambush Flag and Slipknot uses his abseiling gear to escape. So Flag whips out his phone and presses a screen with Slipknot face on it. Slipknot dies 5 minutes after being introduced. But hey, his introduction was him coldcocking a female Police Officer for talking back at him, so Leave The Memories Alone!

So Harley and Deadshot say that when Joker arrive he will do something about the trackers

Image result for the joker face cut off
Oh Yeah Harley, Trust Surgery from a guy who cut off his own face! 
So the Squad and some Soldiers are Confronted by "Brothers" Minions, Humanoids made of clay and Cancerous Tumours. all but Diablo attack. Deadshot demands that Flag tells him what he has being landed in...this is no Terrorist attack! these creatures used to be civilians and the soldiers the team was sent to rescue. so the squad continues up the Ace Chemicals Building where Enchantress has set up her base, Realising where she is, Harley has a flashback to when emamorred with the Joker she dove into a vat chemicals like the one that transformed him. Whether or not Harley has powers like Joker is up to debate.

Turns out the Rescue target was Waller. who chews Flag out for Enchantress leaving his watch, Waller kills all the soldiers and techs in earshot of the agruement as punishment!

Waiting for the helicopter to arrive, Flag hears no radio chatter, the copter has being jacked by the Joker and rescues Harley. Waller tells Deadshot to kill Harley. and that is where we get some debate into what happens Next, Did the man who is deadly with every gun miss? did his "Crippling Consience" play into Effect? or does Harley actually have Joker's Powers of invulnerability, given that her new origin story has put her being submerged in the same chemicals?

Waller orders the remaining soldiers to shoot down the chopper with rocket launchers. the plane hit, joker once again abandons Harley to save his pasty white ass! Waller's own chopper is attacked by the doomsday Machine. With her Heart now in Possession, Enchantress uses her powers to merge with her doomsday machine! Flag confesses to what he has done, that had he known the threat was related to the Enchantress, he never would have let Jill go, and now his love for the only one, has doomed mankind!

Naturally, being told that the world is going to end, the Squad do what we would all do, wallow in self pity and getting Rat-Arsed on Vodka! Diablo tells that his family was killed by his powers and that is why he is filled with remorse. Harley is sympathetic and tells the Arsonist they choose crime because "Normal" lifes is something they can't have. Deadshot wonders how they fit into this new world, or is there something in this old world to fight for? Flag answers that question by deactivating the bombs and giving Deadshot a backlogue of Letters from His Daughter. Floyd has now got his redemption. He also has a plan.

The Subway has being submerged, but the entire line runs under Ace Chemicals. the plan is to get Croc to swim and plant a bomb to take out "Brother", as the rest cause a distraction. The witch tempts the Squad with their deepest desires, (Deadshot killing Batman, Harley and Joker normal and with a family, Rick in bed with Jill) but Diablo sees through the illusion.  Powering up into a form that resembles a Mayan God, but since he is fighting a False God with Absorption powers, the only way to defeat "Brother" is for diablo to sacrifice himself over the bomb!

So let's Finish this Enchantress separates from the machine, which is probing Waller's mind for the location of secret bases as targets for it's laser. Despite having All the Powers, Enchantress lets her guard down when Harley Pretends to Surrender, stabbing the Entity In it's Ancient Heart and despite using her Magicks to convince Flag and Deadshot Not to destroy her heart, it is shot out and is torn apart. Jill wakes in control of her body, when it looks like she died. and Waller Reluctantly Reduces the Squad's prison time by 10 years each. and perks to their cells, as well as Deadshot being able to see his daughter. Until Joker breaks in to rescue Harley, setting up Sequel Bait For Angels Of Gotham City and a stinger after the credits that shows Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) in Waller's Office, telling her he washes his hands of the entire events of the few days and demanding back Dossiers  of Enchantress, Lex Luthor, and Aquaman, Telling Mrs Waller that if her team ever get in the way of "His Friends" (The Justice League) they will take the Squad down. Hard!

THIS FILM IS ...OK!
As Adaptions Go, I've watched Worse, and this was very true to the source. Will Smith bought humanity to a character is lower on the radar to the not considered for his own film, and Margot Robbie stole the show, despite her accent being all over the shop, it sound like Margot spent some time watching the Dc Cartoons to get her mannerism and speech down pat! and it's themes of Remorse, Redemption and Moral Ambiguity were played off well. Smith and Robbie play well off each other, it's really glad they didn't get as bad as it did recently in the comics.
Image result for suicide squad comic harley kidnaps deadshot
Yes, That's Right! Harley Kidnapped Floyd, made him wear Joker's severed Face, and forced him to do A sexual Roleplay of her Boyfriend! Don't feel to sorry for Deadshot as he uses this get Harley to kill Robin and Batgirl

However, there are thing this film Got Wrong.
Kudos must go to Adewale Akkinouje-Agbaje for wearing that suit for the part of Croc, his Prosthetic Teeth made his 5 lines hard to understand. Boomerang, a fan favourite for his quirkiness. is quickly ignored having no part on killing Enchantress, having no daydream shown when Enchantress tempt the others. As for the Villains, Joker, one of the most iconic Villains ever produced is overshadowed by two One-shots that are dead before the credits roll out, One of them is so uninteresting, HE IS NEVER GIVEN A NAME! As for Cara Delavigne, GO BACK TO THE WANK MAGS! You clearly can't act and being put in with a cast of superb Character Actors Only proves That Point!

Let's hope all the Built up to Justice League is worth it!

CREDITS
Suicide Squad was Reviewed, Compiled, and Edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham
(@RealEnli)
With Clips and Media from
Suicide Squad
Suicide Squad: The Motion Picture
Various artists: Sucker for Pain
21 pilots: Heathens

NEXT MONTH:
A change of pace next month, Patrick Fugit comes of age, and Kate Hudson's Trousers just come off! It's the film of THAT! poster that caused car-crashes worldwide, It's ALMOST FAMOUS!