(EAMONN'S LINES IN BLACK)
(JOE-JACK'S LINES IN BLUE)
(BECAUSE JOE-JACK IS REVIEWING THIS MONTH, AS POETIC LICENCE, ALL SPELLING MISTAKES ARE INTENTIONAL
Hello and welcome to Bogger box office. We have an exciting review this month and....
(Eamonn is interrupted by a Tractor that runs through the wall of the studio. With a leap, Joe-Jack lands on Eamonn, hitting him repeatedly with a stale Black Pudding.
NOW YOU LISSEN AND LISSEN GUD, YA MAD HOOER YA! I'M SICK OV YA TAKING OVA MY INTERWEBS! I DON'T KARE IF MY SPELLIN'Z IS WRONG, I JUST WANTZ ONE REVIEW THAT ISN'T SOME FILLIUM ABOU' A CARTOON OR VID-JOE GAME. IZ DAT TOO MUCH T'ASK?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfNzi2udApA
Joe-Jack, You should have said something, of course you can review this film. And its a special treat this month.We are looking at a film that won the Palm D'or at Cannes in 1998. that film is the general.
Tell dese people abou' da legend dat iz da General.
Legend? You're not one of those people that supported Cahill? Martin Cahill was an Irish crime-boss, a small-time burgular until he and his gang robbed O'Brien's and the Beit Collection.It May be written as a black comedy, but Cahill was a vicious thug and bigamist that used force, torture, castration and cruxifiction to get his way.
Da Fillium starts in 1994 as dis iz da year The IRA Shot Cahill dead.
And as the scene is rewound, Cahill's (Brendan Gleeson) life flashes before his eyes.
We start in Martin's childhood. Him and his bro'hers have stolen groceries and are chased be Gards. but the tenement-dwellers attack the gards and Martin has stolen to provide for his family.
But one night, Martin over-reaches himself by stealing a pig and gets caught, beaten,sent to the Christian Brothers and Abused. we jump 20 years to him in prison.
His wife, Francis tells Martin that the County Council is evicting his family.
On his way out, Martin returns home to see the Gards, flanked by Sargeant Kenny(Jon Voight) taking families from their homes.
Martin holds a protest as he plans to sue Dublin for breach of human rights. To which they answer by burning his caravan.
Forced to move to his sister in law/second wifes house, Martin does Christmas shopping Grinch-Style!
Frances and Tina find a suitable house but its £80,000! Martin scrapes up the money, gets a cheque and resteals the money a minute later!
So martin gets the house but also an unwelcome visitor, a Police Surveilence Unit
Next scene and Martin robs an arcade but gets caught, It's this where he gets a revealation, he is sick of being small time. If the Cahill Gang are going down, it might as well be for something big. Martin wants to steal from O'Connors Jewellers, a place so fortified, not even the IRA with its firepower could steal from it.
But Martin reveals he has an inside man in the jewellers.
The next day the forensic expert in the court case gets attacked by a car-bomb but survives.
The Trial is on the way,And Martin is beaten by gards to get a confession. Beaten and Bruised, he and Noel Curley(Adrian Dunbar) case the near-fortress that is O'Connors.
Cahill's Thug Gary is ordered to shout abuse to cause a mistrail. A cut away scene shows Martin breaking into a library, reading law books while hanging of a rope!
Martin and his gang Steal from o'connors first by posing as electricians but disarms the alarms. then performs an audacious smash and grab stealing a reported 2 million in gold and jewels. Because of his military style planning, Gary gives martin the name he became known as-the General!
Knowin' dat da Arcade worker will not be threatened by Martin, Because the Larceny Act. Cahill is acquitted.
It is a huge Gambit that pays of for the General! However there is a problem. The only people wanting to buy the gold is the London Underground. So Cahill, a pigeon enthusiast in life hires Jimmy, a fellow racer in his gang. to smuggle the gold. problem solved!
....Until 1 ov da gold bars iz missing. and Cahill will have no traitors in his gang.
So Jimmy is splayed on a pool table and cruxified on it!
A meeting with da 'Rah goes wrong. Dey wantz half da gold but Cahill refuses, so da Rah convinces people dat Da Cahill gang are Drug dealers. And while dere neighbours think buyin' stolen gear is grand, dey draw da line at drug dealers!
To convince Corcerned Parents Against Drugs,Martin forms Concerned Criminals Against Drugs,saving Noel from eviction and getting his help for what was considered the crime of his career; The Stealing of the Beit Collection from the National Gallery.
Brilliant, So it was!
No it was'nt! They grabbed the paintings while the elderly Guard asleep! They might as well have said YOINK! as they Grabbed the paintings!
But with da paintings in bad shape, and policitions, Da Rah and rival Gangs wantin' his head, Martin gets a heart attack!
Desparate and with his men gone, Martin sells the paintings to British Loyalists, making him a marked man for the IRA.
A paranoid general has nothing now. Everything bought with the money is taken, destroyed or corrupted. Da house iz surrounded be Gards, his friends are gone, the gang thinks he took the shilling, and his pigeons dead.
And to wrap it up, the Cahills celebrate the Gards leaving, only for the Ira to shoot Cahill the next day.
After Da commitments, The General is the Greatest film produced in Ireland. Gleeson is terrific as the wise-cracking crim, thanks to John Boorman's sharply written script. Special mention goes to Jon Voight convincin' Irish accent, and Sheamus Deasy black and white filmography. Track down this fim while you can.
CREDITS
Review of the General, written, edited and compliled by- and also writting as Joe-Jack by Eamonn Bermingham http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
with music by Van morrison
The General is owned by Warner Brothers
all music used belong to its respected owners.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
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