WARNING: THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF SCENES THAT ARE GRAPHIC IN NATURE! DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED!)
(PREVIOUSLY ON BOGGER BOX OFFICE....)
A young Bride named Grace had just married into the Wealthy Domais Family of Gamemakers, Not knowing that a simple family Tradition will turn Bloody)
So Mr Domais Explains how his family Amassed their wealth. Victor, The founder of the company and family was a Merchant Sailor, One day, Sailing from Europe to the Souks of North Africa, he met a Mystic called Le Bial, who in his meager possessions, kept a Box which was a mechanical Gadget that Reveals Hidden messages, if Victor could beat Le Bial in a game of cards, he would give him his box and bless his line with fortune. So the card which was once blank now reads Hide and Seek.
So the Rules are Simple, Grace will hide and the family will Seek ( Read: Try to Kill) Grace after the count of 100. She's Worried her family has an Advantage, Given the Security Cameras, But in the Interest of Fairness (and to Strengthen their Alibis!), They will be switched off!
Thinking it's just a game, Grace Unties her Shoes and sits in a Dumb Waiter as Alex watches his family arm themselves to kill his new wife, until he leaves via a secret tunnel. Peeking out of the Dumb Waiter, her dress snags on a nail. A servant is looking for a lost child as Grace is dragged by Alex. The Servant, Clara continues to search for the Child, only for Emily Domais to shoot her dead. Mr Domais Accosts his daughter not for killing the help, but attempting to kill Grace, after all they only need to maim her for the "Ritual"....That will Kill her!
Retreating into the Secret Tunnels, Alex wants to escape so they can stop acting like this til dawn, Emily Snorts some Cocaine to gee herself up.
Alex explains that the Family's Great Wealth Comes at a cost: you must play a game on the day of Birth or Matrimony or you die! In Return, Wealth! The house is on lockdown so the tunnels only go so far, but it seems Finch has Realized where she is as he watches YouTube Video on How to use a crossbow, Alex didn't tell her, because she would have left him. She's going to hide in the service kitchen as Alex goes to the security room to unlock the gates.
Ripping most of her dress, she's now ready for action, but walks into the Domais Dumping Clara's Body, Running into a Pool room, where she is found by a disinterested Daniel who gives her a ten minute start, only, true to form, rats her out! Oh and Emily kills another servant. I think we found our running Joke! Great Aunt Arline hates it but they are going to switch the cameras back on
Grace returns to the Double Doors and Arms herself with a mounted rifle and a balladeer of Bullets, which promptly jam In the Rifle when she points them at the butler In the security Room, Alex fights with his father until Daniel knocks him out. Grace kills the last maid in the dumb waiter, but that was an accident.
Mr Domais ties Alex's Prone Body to a bed, as we learn it was Arlene's Husband killed 30 years ago, only for her death to harden her into what she is today, for the good of the family, the Bride must Die, and Alex must lead the family, after all, Alex saw the spirit of Le Bial, or so he says, seen only by those destined to inherit the Patriarch Role, as Grace hears it all from the ledge of the room, of course!
Later, she finds the Missing Georgy Brady while Hiding in a Goat Shed, Who Promptly Shoots a Hole into her Hand, she Punches him unconscious but falls backwards into a Cesspit and sees some of her more Unfortunate Predecessors, She tries to climb up a rickety ladder, But has to impales her good hand on a nail to prop herself up and over as she screams over the Great and Agonizing pain.
Even I let out a few swear words after watching this! Jesus Christ!
Blissfully unaware that she Dodged a shot from Charity Domais' Shotgun, Grace makes her way to the Fence and as she further lascerates herself to escape onto a road, waving down a car covered in blood, the car drives off as the voice inside shouts at her to get off the road!
Ladies and gentlemen, I present, THE DUMBEST PERSON IN A HORROR FILM! And that comes a genre filled with Stupid Sexy Teen and People Walking Backwards into Unlit Rooms!
The Butler, Stevens, tells the Domais Family that she has Entered the woods Beyond the Grounds. Daniel nonchalantly puts on his coat to leave only for his father to remind them that If the game is hide and seek, she must die or they all will! He also implies Great Grandaddy cheated Le Bial and this Contract is really a curse, they also imply that family had died burning to death but not by due to a house fire as previously reported.
Meanwhile Alex Comes to and tries to break his handcuffs. Over in the Goat Pit, Emily and Daniel Discuss the Situation while dumping Servants' Bodies. Daniel exclaims this family deserves to die, but Emily has Children. Emily finds Georgy with a shiner, and explains how he got it. Emily tells her Son she is so proud, which only sickens Daniel Further, as this feels like a vicious Circle.
Stevens Tackle Grace from his car, But in the tussle Knocks him out by choking him with her belt and steals his car to escape. However calling Onstar turns out to be a bad idea as this car is reported to be Stolen so the operator causes the Car to be Shut Down. At least the Police have being called, But Stevens Smashes the Glass and shoots her with a Tranquilizer. She dreams of Alex Rescuing her up wakes when it becomes a nightmare. Coming to, she kills Stevens by causing the car to Crash to the Tune of the 1812 Overture, though I would have love if it exploded on the final chord.
Maybe I watched too much Loony Tunes as A child!
She Runs into Daniel Again, Rifle cocked and Pointed towards Her, She pleads for her life, But as Worthless a Life of a Leeching Heir is, He'd Rather be Rich. So he Coldcocks Grace as Mr Domais comes out of the bushes to carry her back. It's 500am and Dawn is another hour.
Becky (Andie McDowell) Taunts her Son Alex and asks him why he left the family. He Explains the love of a good woman Cured the Crazy from him and She is not a Murderer like His Mother.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Oh I'm Sorry that's the Pre-Emptive Sound Of 50-50 CHANCE OF A RIDICULOUS FILM-RUINING TWIST ENDING ALARM!
So Either way Alex Vows, His Mother Dies, Only by his Hand!
Grace Wakes Up tied to a Pentagram as the family in Cloaks Chant a Ritual and Drink Blood, but just as Mr Domais is about to Plunge the Dagger into Grace, he keels over and Vomits Blood, the family, except Daniel Following Suit, he has Poisoned the Chalice and Rescues Alex as frees himself.
Charity Shoots Daniel Dead, So Grace knocks her and Mr Domais out with a Lantern. As she discards it, it Catches a Curtain and Starts a Fire.
Becky Blocks Grace's Escape and calls her out on being a Foster Child, As Becky Chokes her, Grace Grabs Le Bial's Box and Beats Becky to Death with it....Alex Entering and Looking Mortified!
AND HERE IS YOUR TWIST ENDING!
Alex is a traitor and a Bastard all the long! As the house Burns the Ritual is Botched and as the Sun Rises the family recoil in Horror as....
NOTHING HAPPENS!
But it's a False Finish to lure you in a sense of Security before Aunt Arlene tries to kill Grace, But she Explodes, and an Invisible force makes a Record player play the song about the rules of Hide and Seek from the Midnight scene, as one by one every member of the Domais Family explodes into Bloody messes (Even the Children though it happens off screen we do see 3 Explosions for Emily and her 2 sons.) and Maybe if he didn't Betray Grace, Alex would have escaped this fate.
And So the Film Ends, The Domais Family Dead, the Mansion Burning Down as the Police, Arrive expecting a Car theft and finding a bloody confused Grace, who will no doubt be arrested for Murder but at least safe!
THIS FILM DOESN'T SUCK! BUT THE TWIST ENDING IS TELEGRAPHED SO EARLY BRINGS IT DOWN!
Despite That, it's a very Imaginative film, that keeps you guessing and Wincing throughout. The acting is Superb and the script is sharp and almost Satirical. A great Recommendation for your next Movie Night!
CREDITS
Ready Or Not was Reviewed, Compiled and Edited into 2 parts by Eamonn Bermingham.
With Media from
Ready Or Not.
All media used is Property of Fox.
Ready Or Not was Produced by Fox.
NEXT MONTH AT BOGGER BOX OFFICE...
We continue with the theme of child games, with Jeremy Renner Slumming in the Land of Sitcom Actors, in a game of TAG!
