Eamonn reviews the marine 2

(This month's theme the million dollar wwe theme www.youtube/watch?v=Vm4TG56KGZ4 )

okay da summer iz ovah so goin' intah da field t'make some crop circles fer da last tourists.
ok.
hi welcome to BBO! sister blog to pathofenlightment where i would post among things wrestling results.
september sees the return of night of champions and who debuted at the first NOC?

why the star of todays film, wwe superstar ted DiBiase.Okay wwe films a partner of fox, had very a bad track record.
first the marine, staring the object of the IWC's hatred,John cena-FAIL!
See no evil a teenslasher where kane stuck eyes into large jars of ginger beer-fail!
and todays film that was only cinematicly released in america.
(sound of audience leaving)
okay what if i tell you that this film is good!
(Audience GASP!)
So lets dig into the true story that is marine 2.

we open to a pistol falling in a thai street picked up by a young boy. who aims it at a girl with a water pistol.but it has no bullets. this gritty scene set us up for the rest of the film. as Joe linwood(Dibiasie) is planing to assasianate a An Arms dealer. as he does the little boy comes up to the rooftop. as a bit of wwe fanservice, teds charector makes the pay-me sign with his fingers,before pulling the trigger.This has the boy scream, drawing attenion to our hero in the crossfire, the boy is shot dead.this rattles joe so much that he asks for two weeks leave.

and it couldnt have come at a better time, as joe's wife invited him to his bosses new hotel.which i'm sure will NOT be invaded by villians(!)

so they get a tour of the hotel with has its own geo-thermal factory. which i'm sure will NEVER get blown by terrorists(!)

so after meeting robins prickish boss, they met the scuba inscructor and general trader,church, a former paratrooper,he also tells joe and robin about a secret route back to the hotel!
PLOT POINT!

So after some padding,we cut to night time.after a confrontation with connor,robins boss , joe leaves the hotel as get this, this comes out of the blue, but the hotel is invaded by terrorists! i know quite a stretch, isnt it?
 so thats the plot to the marine 2.
cliched but in a good way!

the terrorists demand that connors family pay tribute. they then kill a hostage on tv. Joe asks church to help him but cant.the terrorist demask as a way to tell the hostage that they will not survive this ordeal.

In a military tent a goverment repreasentative called Shu tells the army not to attack as it will jepordise the hostages.
so mercanaries are sent in.
oh mercanaries. in an action film.and shu pointed out that they fight for money.
This'll end well(!)

so yeah! as expected one of the mercanaries called blondie (despite having dark hair) betrays his troop . the rest are  mowed down by terrorists! as the fire fight sets fire to the jungle.domu the mastermind is told joe is dead.

the next day joe asks church for help. this time he oblilges by giving him bullets his boats and a Bag Of Holding. so joe goes in kills some terrorists and picks up weapons from enemies and lying around.

FINAL FANTASY IS NOT REAL LIFE! Weapons would not be left all and sundry like that!

so domu is angered that joe is alive.
Brother: i will CUT! OUT! HIS! HEART!
ME: i am ACT! ING!

Joe attacks blondie in the wash room and tortures him with a trouser press.

speaking as someone that once grilled a sandwich on a trouser press i know how hot they can get.

so joe is unarmed and the terrorist use muai thai . But it would'nt be a film with a wrestler a fight scene with wrestling moves. its a good scene but come on! a drop kick in a real fight? you use that and bam knife in the back!

seeing the smoke caused by joe. church goes into the battle.

joe gets captured and shu taunts joe. he says hes doing it for the island people. but when he when mention a share of the money.shu is blown up.

so joe breaks free from his shackles by breaking one his hands, and church leads the hostages out. but domu takes robin and escapes  to a boat.

so lets wrap this up!
joe kills Domu, he rescues robin, there is a big explosion, and film ends with the Linwoods vowing  to go home.

THIS FILM IS AWESOME!
the action is top-notch, the directing is fact-paced and the charectors are suprislingly fleshed out and well acted. there are few bug-bears. Namely DiBiasie is too much of a pretty boy to be a proper action hero, and the villians are a bit hammy.

but it was a rememberable film. Does that mean the next wwe Next films will be good? considering the next film will be a 7ft man acting as a 13 year old the answer. sadly is no!

Well thats it! follow me on youtube on www.youtube.com/ThePathofenlightment next month for halloween i will review wasting away. and my review of night of champions on pathofenlightment.blogspot.com

for now, im the Pathofenlightenment hardcore since 2009!

the boat that rocked review

HALLO, I'M BACK SO I AM!
AND I WOULD LIKE T'THANK EAMONN FER REVIEWIN'FILLIUM WHILE I WAS GONE
BY SAYING...
"GET OFF MY LAND!"
*SHOOTS EAMONN*

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! I CAN REVIEW GUD FILLIUM AS WELL! DIS MUNT IS DA 1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BOGGER BOX OFFICE AN' TODAY YA READIN' A REVEIW OV DA BOAT DAT ROCKED!

LET ME TAKE YA BACK T'1960s

A DECADE WHERE MAN FIRST WALKED THE MOON, IRISH SHOWBANDS PLAYED OTHER BANDS SONGS BEFORE PLAGERISM, AND A LITTLE BAND FROM LIVERPOOL TOOK OVER THE WORLD.

So the fillium starts by telling us its 1966.BBC only plays 45 minutes of music. While the pirate radio stations in the north sea play music all day. they then play this months theme All Day And All Of The Night by the Kinks(www.youtube/watch?v=mMWNwHofOkc )

so we meet Carl a young man expelled from school and his uncle(bill nighy). Aftah we learn dat carls ma didnt know her brother was a pirate she assumed mans work on a boat would straighten her boy out.

so we met our cast
the count(phillip seymour hoffman)
simon swansford(that lad from da meteor ads)
felicity da cook
thick kevin
and Doctor Dave.

so we have a funny scene of da quiz as karl tries to work out riddles. karl answers Jimi hendrix when da answer woz Jayzus!

we cut t10 downing street. as da goverment plan to abolish pirates in a year.

80s Lad:DUDE! let me introduce my dad!
60s Dad:Dude! the goverment are evil,man!they want to ban music, take our tvs and force us to eat kittens! hey i'm 60s dad!and peace out!

so unaware of dis, da count,tricks uncle quentin t'say da f-word on d'air,much to da delight ov da listeners.

so the minister in charge in of banning private radio is a prick just read this line.
"Goverment is all about making things they dont like illegal." he even makes fun of a guys hair saying only blind people like it. he also says he has a job for "dat clever chap"

every saturday birds are allowed to board the ship,except for lesibian felicity,married john, hopless romantic simon and virgin karl.
but dave gives carl his bird, but doesnt get the job done at all.

so the minister meets the clever chap the apprioatly named twat!

we also meet on the boat ladies man Mark and Smooth bob the early morning dj that none da boys recognise!

so twat has a plan to make product placement illegial in british programing (it still to this day-eamonn)

but things look good for our heroes as the charismatic Gavin Kavanaugh is returning to radio rock, much t'da chargin ov the count.

so gavin returns as he gats the goat of the count by saying he is the king.

gavin vulgar style and bootleg records are an instant success! he flusters john with a topless picture and sticky with the words YOUR MUM!

Da next day its karls birfday,and quentin has a present:dinner with his niece, marian.after a quest fer a condom, marian gets of with dave.

over on the mainland, twat plans to get on the ship himself.

200 competion winners (199 women and one mr twat) enter the ship .quentin stops twat from sabatague.

but twat reports that the boat is in bad shape.

Simon is getting married and for the first time in munts da crew is on da mainland for a stag do!
so the boys pub-crawl and simon ends up in his drawers.

back on da boat thick kevin believe quentin may be karls father.

so simon gets married on theboat but the girls cheats on simon with gavin.
simon doesnt take it too well.

count looking out for his friend challenges gavin to a race up the mast. Gavin win but challenges count to dive into the sea.

with a broken arm and a broken foot the two men make up.

its now christmas,one month till goverment ban the pirates. karls mother comes aboard to tell him quentin is not his father.Bob is !

1st of janurary 1967.
the marine offence act is passed. pirate radio is now illegal. but da boyz vow t'keep going! and mininster is not a happy bunny!
"ARSE!"

So the goverment attack the ship. but got the wrong ship. radio rock has lifted anchor and set sail. but the bad condition of the ships engine makes a hole in the hull. the boat is sinking. but the count stays behind for one last show. karl rescues bob. and despite all this the boat is still sinking, but at the last moment a fleet of ships rescue the crew and even Da count makes it!
and da fillium ends with all da lads dancing on a liner as da credits show every memberable album cover from 66-Present day!

Da Boat Dat Rocks does exactly dat...ROCKS! Dis fillium is wallt'wall funny, and has a rockin' soundtrack!

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